From the Top
by PFTones3482
Summary: With a cast as crazy as the Voltron crew, you're bound to have a lot of mishaps on set. This is a collection of those mishaps, bloopers, and behind the scenes moments of Voltron: Legendary Defender. Currently up: Season 7, Episode 7
1. The Rise of Voltron

**Episode One: The Rise of Voltron Bloopers**

 **S'up everyone! So a little while ago, me and my friend Megan decided that it would be a lot of fun if Voltron had bloopers. So like, the characters are all actually actors (with the same names, to avoid confusion), and this fanfiction will follow the bloopers of each individual episode (inspiration on this from AnimationNut).**

 **There will be character development outside of the shows plot (so, what their "actors" are like), but it won't be super in depth. This is cross posted to my Ao3 account, TakingOverMidnight3482, where I hope to be able to add in Megan's art of some of the bloopers. I'll let y'all over here know when that officially happens. If you're confused about anything, feel free to let me know!**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine, all other text is directly from the episodes.**

 **Happy April Fools Day!**

* * *

 _Take One_

The space craft shuddered as they descended to Kerberos and Hunk trembled, fingers flexing on the cool metal of his arm rests. "Lance, can you keep this thing straight?" he groaned.

Lance rolled his eyes. "Why's it gotta be straight? Why can't it be gay? I'm just getting a feel for the stick!"

The look he shot over his shoulder, along with the single finger gun, made everyone groan. The lights flickered back to full strength and Pidge clambered out of her seat, high fiving Lance. "Nice!"

"I thought so."

Alfor groaned from the director's chair. "Lance, say your lines right this time! I'd like to get this all done in one take! Let's take it from the top!"

 _Take Two_

"Pidge, hail down at them and let them know their ride is here."

She unbuckled obligingly, clambering up onto her seat as instructed and grabbing for the CB mic and bringing it to her mouth. "Attention lunar vessel-!"

The simulator rocked more violently than she had anticipated and Pidge yelped as she was sent to the floor, arm taking the brunt of the weight. The vessel stopped it's shaking and Lance and Hunk both darted to her, laughing but still concerned. "You okay?" Hunk asked, helping her back up to her feet.

Pidge rolled her eyes good naturedly and shoved them off. "I'm fine. If you weren't such a terrible pilot, _Lance_."

He snorted and poked her glasses up her nose. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Back from one?" he asked Alfor.

The trio turned to look at the director, who was talking quietly with the script writer. "Actually, just go back to Pidge's line of 'Attention lunar vessel.' And Pidge, we think you should fall again. It adds to the overall failure of the mission, makes Lance's piloting seem even worse."

Pidge chuckled and saluted the director. "See Lance, I told you you're a terrible pilot."

 _Take Three_

"Attention, lunar vessel! This is Galaxy Garrison rescue craft One-Victor-Six-Three-Tango coming in for landing and extraction! Against crew recommendations," Pidge muttered, giving Lance an evil side eye.

Lance huffed. "No time for your mutinous comments now, Pidge, they're going under and we're going in."

He tilted the craft downwards, towards the planet, and Pidge yelped quietly. "Look out for that overhang!"

Lance grinned. "Don't worry, my first year in flight school, you know what they called me? They called me The Tailor, because of how I thread the needle."

Pidge immediately started choking, face turning red and doubling over, breath coming out in wheezes as she laughed. Hunk, next to her, was snickering as well, both hands clamped over his mouth like somehow that would help them not ruin the scene. Lance, still in the pilot's seat, was grinning from ear to ear, and the crew was full on howling.

Alfor was smiling and shaking his head. "Lance, that isn't your line. Your line is supposed to be, "Don't worry Pidge, I got this!""

"To be fair," Pidge managed to say around her laughing fit, "that does sound… _way_ more Lance-ish to me."

"Ditto," Hunk snorted.

Alfor snorted. "All right, all right. You can keep it. But try to keep your laughter in until after we complete the scene, everyone. Back to one!"

* * *

The last of the doctors fell to the floor and Keith darted forwards, pulling his bandanna down and reaching out, gently turning Shiro's face over in his hands. His breath hitched and he pulled back, jaw falling slack. "Shiro?"

Shiro groaned and peeked up at him through lidded eyes, a small smile on his face. "You gonna kiss me or save me?"

Keith snorted, fighting the grin on his cheeks and shoving Shiro's shoulder. "Last time I try to save you. Tell me I don't have to do that whole fight sequence again?" he asked.

Alfor had his head in his hands when they looked over. "You do. Shiro, can you _please_ stop teasing Keith every time he has to be worried about you?"

Shiro laughed, shifting his position back into the one he had to be in. "Come on, Alfor, you know that acting with your siblings means messing with them."

At the deadpan look he was sent, he raised a hand, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah. I'll stop fooling around."

"Good. Keith, back to one. Let's do this _right_ this time, mmm? Take seven!"

* * *

"Big guy, lean left!"

Hunk obliged, leaning left hard and sending their craft veering away from the pursuing Garrison vehicles. Behind them, several of the cars flipped into one another, exploding. "Aw man!" Hunk yelped. "Mr. Harris just wiped out Professor Montgomery!" A pause as Hunk glanced back and then, "Oh no, he's fine."

Keith looked over his shoulder at him, hair momentarily blocking his vision. "Big man, lean right!"

Hunk leaned as Keith turned, but their descent was too quick, and Lance went tumbling off of the machine and face planted into the rocky terrain. Keith stopped the vehicle, laughing, and twisted to look at him. "Lance are you okay?"

Lance managed a weak thumbs up and Pidge chuckled, shifting Shiro so that he was no longer leaning against her lap. "Can't believe Lance is fucking dead."

His thumbs up turned into a middle finger.

* * *

Hunk glanced up from his device, looking around the rocky terrain. "I'm getting a reading." He and Pidge traversed over the ground, pausing as they hit the marker and waiting for everyone to catch up before entering the lion cave.

"What are these?" Shiro asked.

Keith glanced around. "These are the lion carvings I was telling you about. They're everywhere around here."

Lance strolled up to the cave wall, pursing his lips and leaning forward to squint at the carvings. He lifted a hand, brushing at the dirt that covered one of them, and yelped softly as it lit up under his fingertips. The entire cave turned shades of bright blue, and the group stepped back into a huddle.

"They've never done that before," Keith managed.

There was a whirring sound, and then the ground under them opened up, sending them down a water slide and to the cave below them. Groaning, Pidge stood up and glanced around, lifting an eyebrow. "Um…guys, where's Lance?"

"Up here!"

They all tilted their heads back to see Lance standing at the top of the hole, waving down at them with a sheepish smile on his face. "It didn't fall under me, or I guess maybe I wasn't standing in the right spot. I got stuck."

Alfor groaned. "Props, rebuild that floor. We need to do that again, Lance, you're literally the reason you're all falling in the first place. Wardrobe! Get the rest of them a dry set of clothes! We'll come back in ten!"

* * *

"How did they find us?!"

"I'm not sure," Lance grumbled, "but I bet it's Keith's fault."

Keith huffed. "Say whatever you gotta say to make yourself feel better. After getting us _stuck_ on the other _side_ of a wormhole!"

Lance twisted, clenching his fists and pressing his forehead to Keith's. "I'll stick YOU in my wormhole!"

The whole floor went dead silent. Keith, literally centimeters away from his face, was slowly turning the color of his jacket. Lance couldn't figure out what had happened for a second until he ran over what he had just said. His face burst into flames. "A wormhole, _**A**_ wormhole! Oh my god I cannot believe…"

He buried his head in his hands and cast and crew alike began dying of laughter, Pidge and Hunk slapping each other repeatedly and Coran bent at the hip, hands on his knees and wheezing. Keith started chuckling and shaking his head, his face still bright red, and even Shiro, who had been walking into the shot to try and break up their fight, was laughing.

Alfor, still in his battle suit from the previous scene, was cackling so hard that he had needed to sit down, shoulders quivering with mirth. "We need to….we need to…set up and do that again," he managed to get out, cheeks rosy. "Oh my….start up with…with the alarms blaring….holy…"

Lance scowled at everyone, but his lips were twitching at the corners. "Hardee har har. Very funny."

Keith snorted and bumped his shoulder, drawing Lance's attention to him. He winked. "Any time, Lance. Any time."

* * *

Pidge and Shiro exited the jungle they had been trekking through and glanced up, surveying the area. Pidge pointed. "Look!"

Off to the side of the water was a canoe, carved with a lion head at the bow. For a moment, Pidge could only stare, but then something moved in her peripheral vision and she and Shiro both glanced to their left, only to see a giant sloth standing there. Pidge shrieked, Shiro yelping behind her, and she scrambled up his body, clinging to his shoulders. "ALFOR. WHAT THE HELL?!"

The crew and cast off screen finally broke, laughing hysterically as Pidge slowly got off of Shiro, eyes suspiciously perusing the missing cast and then spinning on the sloth. "LANCE."

The sloth snickered and the head was pulled off, revealing Lance inside of it with a wide smile on his face. "Yeah, Pidge?"

"You SCARED the SHIT out of me! No one told me that there would be a giant SLOTH MAN!"

Shiro had a hand over his heart, the other on his knee, and was struggling to breathe normally. "Jesus, give a guy a little warning next time," he groaned. "I almost decked him."

Alfor grinned. "Last minute adjustment to the script! But Pidge, up until you screamed my name, that was perfect! Lance is going to be steering your canoe."

"Great. So we're probably gonna drown."

"Would you _like_ to?"

* * *

"Oh yeah, sure," Hunk grumbled, kneeling down and picking up the wires he was supposed to tap together. "Just drop me off on an alien planet. That's cool man. It's only occupied by mean purple aliens that want to _kill me,_ but whatever. Just ignore them and go connect with a bi- OW! Who thought it was a good idea to have these _actually_ spark?!"

Alfor rubbed his head in exasperation. "Piiiiddddggge?"

"I thought it would be more authentic!"

* * *

 _Take One_

"I know the Princess said this is supposed to be my lion, but what if she's wrong? I mean, she's a probably not wrong, she's a _princess,_ but I'm not a princess- shit. Hang on."

 _Take Nine_

"I know the lion said this is supposed to be my Prin- nope, that's not it."

 _Take Thirteen_

"I know the Princess said this is supposed to be my lion, but what if she's wrong? I mean, she's probably not wrong, she's a _princess,_ but I'm not a pilot, even though I've always wanted to be a pilot. I mean I read all the manuals but I never got to fly the simulator. But hey, I can't be worse than Lance, he crashed _all the time_. But what if I get in there and….and… _shit._ What's the rest of the line?"

 _Take Seventeen_

"I know the Princess said this is supposed to be my lion, but what if she's wrong? I mean, she's probably not wrong, she's a _princess,_ but I'm not a pilot, even though I've always wanted to be a pilot. I mean I read all the manuals but I never got to fly the simulator. But hey, I can't be worse than Lance, he crashed _all the time_. But what if I get in there and it's too big and my feet don't touch the pedals? WHAT IF THERE AREN'T EVEN PEDALS?"

"Oh wait…shoot. Hold on Pidge, we weren't filming. We're gonna have to do that take over again."

"Are you KIDDING ME?"

* * *

"You made it!" Allura said in delight.

Lance rolled his eyes. "Yeah, just barely. That was a nightmare. I almost puked out there. I felt like Hunk!"

"That's unfortunate," Keith muttered under his breath.

"RUDE."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Coran glanced over the assortment of donuts that had been left out on the table, a frown turning his mustache downwards and his eyebrows furrowing. Keith, across from him, grabbing his usual strawberry frosted donut, looked up at Coran with curiosity. "Something wrong, Coran?"

"My donut. It's missing. I suppose the food crew must have forgotten it. Though I don't see how, there are only 10 actors they buy donuts for."

"Donut counting _is_ more of an art than a science," Keith mused, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"I resent that."

* * *

Pidge lifted her bayard, testing the weight of it, and Lance leaned over with an amused look on his face. "Awww, you got a cute little bayard!"

She glared at him sideways and flung her bayard out with a smirk, hitting him in the gut with a burst of electricity and sending him to the floor with a shriek. "Yeah. It is pretty cute."

"Pidge!" Alfor snapped. "Stop putting ACTUAL ELECTRICITY in the PROPS!"

* * *

In the voice recording studio, the cast stood, reading over their scripts and waiting for Alfor's signal from the other side. On his cue, Shiro started speaking. "Does anyone have any ideas of how to form Voltron?"

"I don't see a "Combine into giant robot" button anywhere on my dashboard," Hunk whined, shifting on his feet and scanning down the script.

"This is insane!" Pidge yelped. "Can't they just cease fire for one minute so we can figure this out? Is that too much to ask?"

Keith huffed. "We've got to do _something_!"

"COMBINE!"

Hunk body slammed into Keith, sending both of them to a floor and effectively knocking over Lance and the script stands in the process. Lance, from underneath Keith, groaned. "Hunk, what the heck?!"

"It said I body slam into Keith!"

"Your _lion_ body slams into Keith, not you!" Lance clarified.

"Oh….sorry, Keith. You okay?"

"….I think I sprained my wrist."


	2. Some Assembly Required

**Episode Two: Some Assembly Required Bloopers**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far! I really love reading your comments, and hope you continue to enjoy!**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine, all other text belongs to its respective episode. Just as a note, chapter lengths are going to vary depending on the episode.**

* * *

"Hurry! We can't survive much longer!" Allura yelled desperately into the microphone.

"You've got to _sell it_ a little bit more," Coran advised her, holding his hand out for the microphone. Allura handed it over and he cleared his throat, bringing it to his mouth and pausing dramatically for just a moment. "oH NO! ALLURA IS DEAD! AAaAaAH! It's HORRIBlE! Her head fell off!" He dropped to his knees in anguish, ignoring Allura, who was now cracking up behind him. "WAIT! HER SEVERED HEAD IS TRYING TO SPEAK TO ME! What is it, Allura's head? What are your final words?"

"Coran," she wheezed.

"Oh yes, princess, I'm listening!"

"It's over," she managed to choke out, arms wrapped around her stomach and cheeks aching. "We have to do….another take."

"OH I KNOW. IF ONLY VOLTRON HAD BEEN FOOORRMMMED."

To the side of the room, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, and Shiro were all laughing. Lance, waiting for his cue off set, had dropped his cup and doubled over, and Alfor was struggling to hold back his guffaws. "We have to…set that up again. God. Everyone quiet down. Coran that was perfect, do it exactly like that. But Allura, you _need_ to stop laughing."

She hiccuped, put her hands on her hips, and took a deep breath. "Right. Right. Okay. Got it. Good. I'm good."

"Okay…places! Starting from "Hurry." Annndddd….action!"

* * *

"I guess this isn't an actual attack," Shiro noted.

Allura scowled. "And it's a good thing it isn't, because it took you…Coran?"

"Seventy five degrees," Coran said matter of factly. He paused, glanced down again at the device as it dinged, and his mustache twitched. "Oh, sorry, no, this is a meat thermometer."

"Why is there a meat thermometer in space? All you eat is food goo," Pidge pointed out.

"We're filming a show about giant, robotic, sentient lions in space, and _that's_ what you choose to question?" Alfor asked in exasperation.

"I'm just _wondering_!"

* * *

"To form Voltron, you must trust in each other. This ancient paladin maze will teach you that trust. Your teammate can see the walls, but you cannot. So listen carefully! If you touch the walls, you'll get a slight shock."

Lance frowned, glancing back at Coran. "Wait, who's guiding….did you say a slight shock?"

Alfor groaned, thumping his head onto the back of his chair. "Lance, it's part of the script. You won't actually get shocked. There is no actual maze."

Lance raised a slow eyebrow, crossing his arms. "You wanna make a bet on that, with Pidge running around set electrifying all of the props?"

"He's got a point," Keith called down from the observation deck.

Alfor sighed. "I'm fairly certain she learned her lesson. _Right_ , Katie?"

He shot a glare in Pidge's direction and the grin that crossed the girl's face was not satisfying in the least bit. "Absolutely, cap!"

"They're totally gonna electrocute me, aren't they."

"Bradley, get the props manager in here. Pidge, I'm suspending your toolbox."

"HEY!"

* * *

"Can't you just give us a break?" Shiro demanded, glaring at Coran and Allura. "Everyone's been working really hard today."

"Yeah!" Keith agreed. "We're not some prisoners for you to toy with like…like…"

"Like a bunch of toy prisoners!"

"Yes! Thank you, Lance!"

Coran scowled. "You do not yell at the Princess!"

Pidge scoffed, wrinkling her nose in a sneer. "Oh, the Princess of _what_? We're the only ones out here and she's no princess of ours!"

The first 'splat!' of food goo against Pidge's face startled everyone, and for a moment there was dead silence, broken the moment Keith's lips twitched upwards and he reached for one of their bowls, flinging it forward and pulling Pidge's arm with him. "Go loose, Pidge!"

Within moments, the set was a full on food war. Bradley, Alfor's assistant, leaned over and held up his clipboard over his mouth. "Should we uh…should we stop? This isn't in the script."

Alfor was grinning in delight, and he waved a hand, watching as a chunk of goo sailed over his head. "No way. This is perfect. Way better than the original motivational speech from Shiro. We're keeping this. Keep rolling."

* * *

Allura beamed, watching as the lions combined to form Voltron above her head. "See? I told you I could get them to do it. They just needed a common enemy."

Coran nodded sagely. "It's true. Like the old proverb says, "A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really, _really_ mean to him.""

"….what?"

"Coran! Stop _improv-ing_ the _proverbs!_ "

* * *

"Man, that was so cool!" Lance squealed, practically bouncing in his seat. I'm so charged up, I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight!"

Keith chuckled softly. "Not me," he declared. "When my head hits your pillow, I'm going to be lights out."

It took Lance's widening grin for him to realize his misstep and he instantly started stammering. "The pillow, when my head hits _the_ pillow!"

"If you wanted a cuddle buddy, you could've just said so," Lance teased. "See guys! I'm not the only one who screws up their lines!"

Hunk, standing directly behind them, snorted. "Yeah, but at least Keith wasn't talking about wormholes."

"You wound me, Hunk."


	3. Return of the Gladiator

**Episode Three: Return of the Gladiator Bloopers**

 **Red Moon Lollipop: If you know me, you know that there's always a little klance in everything.**

 **I don't own Voltron, as if that wasn't obvious. Any unfamiliar text is mine. Matt guest stars in this chapter!**

* * *

"Coran, we're on a planet now with fresh herbs, spices, and…" Hunk squinted at the plant in his hand. "Whatever this thing is. A tuber? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head back to the kitchen and spice things up." He winked and left, leaving Coran and Shiro alone.

"Where's Pidge?" Shiro asked, glancing around the room.

Coran stuffed his face full of the weird food he was holding, speaking around it. "He's probably checking on those-"

"Cut!" Alfor yelled. "What on _earth_ are you two doing?"

Coran looked bewildered. "My…my lines?"

Alfor facepalmed. "Not _you._ You two!"

Everyone turned to see Lance and Keith on the other side of the table, each wrestling into the other's armor. Lance had Keith's helmet halfway down his head and one of Keith's arms was sticking out of the neck of Lance's upper armor. Lance blinked. "Wait, were we in the shot?"

Alfor sighed wearily and slumped in his seat. "Lord help me," he grumbled. "From the top, everyone. And you two, _put on the right armor._ "

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Oh, lion goddess," the king wailed. "I, King of the Arusians, formally beg your forgiveness! Please have mercy on us and accept our traditional Dance of Apology as atonement for our wrongdoings!"

He clapped, and another Arusian bounced out to stand alongside him. "Commence dance of apology!" he ordered. "Hoorah!"

The other Arusians echoed his call and the actress started her dance. Allura pursed her lips, clearly trying to hide her laughter. "Please, there is no need for this."

"Moontow, halt!"

Moontow froze, balancing on one toe, and the king sighed. "The goddess has refused the apology. Start the sacrificial fire. We must throw ourselves in."

With a "FWOOMPF," a massive fire was started. The sprinklers in the room promptly went off, and the fire alarm started screeching above them. Lance, Keith, and Hunk started cackling, and Allura couldn't help but start grinning too. She glanced over at Alfor with twitching lips and a raised eyebrow, mascara running down her cheeks. "You _sure_ you don't want to do this scene outside, Dad?"

Alfor groaned, watching as the crew scrambled to cover the equipment. "Fiiinnnnne. Props! Build a pyre outside! Wardrobe! Get them in dry clothes."

He slid out of his chair and stalked towards the entrance, beard dripping. "Maybe I'll throw myself in as a sacrifice," he grumbled.

* * *

 _Take One_

"Oh my," Allura said in surprise. "Please, please rise! Thank you for that, but I'm not a being great of worthy worship….nope. That's wrong. Trying that again."

 _Take Four_

"Oh my. Please, please rise! Thank you for that, but I'm not am not a great being worthy of your worship. I accidentally put you all in danger. It is I who should be apologizing to you. I am Princess Allura, and these are the Voltrons of Paladins. Nope. One more time."

 _Take Six_

"Oh my. Please, please rise! Thank you for that, but I'm not am not a great being worthy of your worship. I accidentally put you all in danger. It is I who should be apologizing to you. I am Princess Allura, and these are the Voltron Paladins. Although we originally came from different worlds…and have very, _very,_ different traditions, we wish to live alongside you as friends."

She paused before glancing towards her father. "Did we get it?"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We would have, if Lance and Hunk hadn't been doing a river dance in the background the whole time."

Keith glanced at the two actors. "You might want to run."

* * *

Cheering erupted throughout the group of Arusians, and Keith tried to beat a hasty escape. He was trapped however, the moment one of them leapt up and clung to his chest. Keith hesitated. "I don't…usually hug strangers," he noted, "but uh….man. You are cuddly."

The Arusian looked up at him with wide, doe eyes. "Thank you," he said in the deepest voice Keith had ever heard.

It took ten minutes to get him to stop laughing.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So, you and Pidge siblings in real life?" Coran asked, watching as Pidge and Shiro leaned over the broken Galra ship.

"Nah," Matt said with a shrug, sipping from a thermos. His face was covered in dust and dirt, and there was a fake cut running over his knee and lower thigh. "Cousins. I only got into acting cause she dragged me into our middle school play a couple years ago. It's fun though. Is this cast _always_ this nuts?"

Coran snorted and took a long swig from his coffee mug. "Kid, just be lucky you're only a guest star. I'm barely in this episode, and I'm taking the time to not be the butt of an electrocution."

"Pidge got you guys too, huh?"

"Where did she even _learn_ how to do stuff like that?" Coran asked in disbelief.

Matt snorted. "Summer camp."

* * *

"Shiro, don't move. I'm only fifteen percent done. I'm not going anywhere," Pidge said stubbornly.

Shiro looked between Pidge and the oncoming spacecraft and winced, twisting to grab onto her. "Pidge, I'm sorry."

"NO!"

He yanked her into his arms and activated his jetpack, the harness he was attached to pulling them up and away from the table and almost immediately halting, leaving the two of them dangling in the air. Shiro glanced at Pidge and then down at the tech crew, who was scrambling to get the mechanism working again.

"Are you _kidding_ me?"

"Someone call for backup?" Lance asked cheekily from off set. Hunk high fived him and Pidge and Shiro glanced in their general direction.

"You're toast when I get down," Pidge threatened.

" _If_ you get down," Lance said with a wink. "If."

* * *

"Zarkon has challenged us to rise from the mud and prove our worth. We will not let him down," Sendak snarled.

Haxus frowned. "Sir, how are we going to take the Castle with just the two of us and five damaged sentries?"

Sendak hesitated, eyes flickering around the room. "By…by….oh, who fucking knows, Haxus? We'll just waltz in and fucking murder them all where they stand, no biggie." He took a deep breath, ignoring Haxus' laughing fit, and bellowed towards Alfor. "LINE!"

* * *

Pidge stared up at Shiro, eyes wide behind her glasses. "You saved him? You attacked him so they would choose you instead."

She flung herself forwards, pressing in close to his chest and shutting her eyes tightly. "I'm so sorry I doubted you," she choked out into his shirt. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Shiro smiled and lifted his arms to return the hug. "I can tell you really miss them. I know they miss you too. Your brother and father would be proud of you Katie."

Lance fell in from off screen with wide eyes, Keith and Hunk behind him. "Whoa, wait, what? Pidge is a _girl_? SPOILERS, SHIRO!"

Hunk and Keith were cracking up behind him, nodding in agreement with Lance. "Dude, way to ruin the surprise!" Hunk laughed.

Pidge rolled her eyes, a smile twitching on her lips. "You guys suck. Now we have to do the take again."

Alfor made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded suspiciously like a suppressed scream. "From the top of the scene," he groaned into his hands. "And _you three. Get off the set."_

Lance gave a cheeky grin and saluted Alfor with two fingers, shoving Keith and Hunk out ahead of him. "Roger!"

"How much would it cost to recast again?" Alfor grumbled to Bradley.

"Too much, sir. Plus we'd have to reshoot the first three episodes."

"Great."

* * *

 **You love them Alfor, don't lie to yourself.**

 **Reviews would be welcome!**


	4. Fall of the Castle of Lions

**Episode Four: Fall of the Castle of Lions Bloopers**

 **Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I was really busy all day and by the time I got back I was too tired to think about updating.**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine.**

* * *

"We ought to get something like that," Hunk noted, watching the Arusians.

"Like what?" Lance asked, glancing away from Keith.

"You know, like a cheer. Like a team cheer that we do."

Lance rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. How about uh…I say Vol, and you say Tron! Vol-!"

Keith hesitated. "Uh….Vol…tron?"

Lance frowned. "No. No, no, no, no, no. The cheer includes the instructions, I say Vol, and you say…?"

"Vol…tron?"

"Okay, how about….WHAT TEAM?"

Hunk and Keith immediately whooped, spilling their Nunvill as they jumped around each other. "WILDCATS!"

"NO! Voltron, guys!"

* * *

Sendak peered over the rock formation he and Haxus were hiding behind. "Luck is on our side," he growled. "Look, the castle defenses are down. The door is wide open. With all these Arusians coming in and out, it should be nothing for you to infiltrate."

Haxus hummed. "I may not have to," he said, pointing. "Look. Pidge has a Galra - I'm not supposed to know her name, am I?"

Alfor sighed deeply. "No, no you're not. Take it from the top."

Sendak shook his head. "I knew you would disappoint me, Haxus."

* * *

Allura smiled warmly, leaning against the railing of her balcony. "Look at them. The new Paladins of Voltron. The fate of the universe is on their shoulders."

Down on the floor, Keith spit out his Nunvill straight into Hunk's face, the yellow paladin yelping and ducking his head, bringing it up again with two sticks poking out of his eyes. "My eyes!" he shrieked.

The two of them started laughing, as did the Arusians. Up on the balcony, Allura was struggling to keep a straight face, glancing down at the mice. "I must…*snort*….portray my strength…."

She gave up, letting the giggles spill out. Hunk and Keith grinned and high fived and everyone glanced back to Alfor, who was rolling his eyes. "Allura, please keep it together long enough for the take."

"Sorry, Dad!"

* * *

"I'm sorry," Lance said with a sniffle, looking down at his cup. "I think this Nunvill is getting to me. I gotta go."

He turned away from Hunk, promptly tripped on the first step, and fell forwards, drink flying and arms flailing around. Hunk grabbed him by the wrist, but only managed to slow his fall, not stop it entirely. Lance, covered in Nunvill, started laughing.

"Maybe you guys should stop giving us actual liquids on set," he chuckled, accepting the towel the props manager handed him. "We seem to spill a lot."

"Noted," Alfor managed.

* * *

"We have a _lot_ in common," Allura said conspiringly, leaning in to Pidge with a wry smile.

Pidge raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Allura frowned, like she hadn't been expecting the comment. "Well, both of us had our fathers taken away by Zarkon."

"Yeah, but I'm going to get mine back."

Allura flinched and Pidge grimaced. Off set, Lance leaned over to Keith. "Savage as fuck."

"LANCE. THE MICS CAN STILL PICK YOU UP."

* * *

Haxus scanned Rover silently, whipping around and programming a different bot with the same color. "Signature code cloned. Bomb activated."

The robot lifted up into the air, stalled, and promptly hit the dirt. Everyone on set stared at it for a second, unsure what to do, and the light on the bot faded out with a dying beep. There was absolute silence for a moment before Haxus spoke. "I didn't do it."

* * *

"I miss rain," Lance said wistfully, actually tearing up. "And splashing in puddles."

"Rain?" Coran asked curiously.

Lance tilted his head forwards. "Yeah. It's water that falls from the sky?"

Coran made a sound of understanding. "Oh, we had something like that on Altea! Only it wasn't water, more like rocks. Razor sharp and boiling hot. Oh, they could knock a hole right in your head!"

Lance wrinkled his nose. "Sounds like fun."

"Yeah."

"That wasn't his line," Bradley noted softly.

Alfor chuckled, calling for the scene to cut. "I told Coran to just improv wherever he felt he should. Half the stuff he says we end up keeping anyway. And no one even reacts to his lines anymore."

"Good point."

* * *

Lance and Coran left the room together, passing Rover on the way out. Lance lifted a hand and smiled. "Hey Rover."

The robot didn't beep at him and Lance frowned, twisting around to look after the little pyramid. "Wait…where's Pidge?"

The robot turned red and started beeping violently, and Lance's eyes widened. "Coran, look out!"

He dove for the man, knocking him to the floor as the explosion sounded around them. They missed the stunt mat entirely and smacked into the floor, each of them groaning and rubbing their aching elbows and knees.

"At least Pidge didn't re-wire the robot to actually blow up," Lance grumbled, helping Coran to his feet.

As if on cue, the robot blew up for real, confetti flying across the set.

Alfor turned his glare to Pidge, who was grinning from ear to ear, and held up a hand to his head. "Who gave her access to the props?"

* * *

Shiro knelt to the floor and carefully gathered Lance into his arms, tilting his head towards him and staring down at him in concern.

"We have to get Lance to the infirmary!" Pidge yelped.

Allura looked on helplessly. "Without the crystal, the Castle has no power."

"He doesn't look good," Shiro murmured.

"Excuse you, I look fantastic," Lance protested, eyes still closed.

Shiro dropped him with a grin on his face.

* * *

"I made some modifications to the shuttle," Pidge informed them, leaning over and pointing. "The first change is a cloaking device I reverse engineered from the invisible walls on the training deck. The second is a tank of booster fuel that I mounted on the fuel line."

"Using that during flight would turn the whole pod into a bomb!" Coran snapped.

Hunk whipped around, eyes narrowed. "Pidge, I _swear_ , if you actually-"

"Oh my god, even I'm not _that_ evil!"

Hunk gestured to the ship with a raised eyebrow. "You wanna press the button, then?"

There was a pause, and then Pidge gave everyone a sheepish grin. "I'll get my tools."

"Knew it."

"It was just going to explode pudding!"

* * *

"Let him go," Haxus said lowly, "or your friend won't make it."

He dropped Lance without hesitation, missing the mat and sending the boy to the actual floor. Haxus winced. "Sorry, Lance."

Lance groaned, face down on the ground, and waved a hand in Haxus's general direction. "No prob, buddy."

* * *

"Look!" the Arusian king cried desperately. "Attackers!"

He pointed to the figures in the fire and Keith frowned, leaning forward. "I'll go in for a closer look. Stay here with them."

He ran forwards and slid down the hill on his feet, dragging a hand behind him. About halfway down, he hit a tree root, flew from the grass, and somersaulted down the hill only to land in a heap at the bottom, face down in the mud.

Lance, off set drinking a juice box, called out gleefully, "You good there, Keith?"

"Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?" Keith grumbled into the dirt.

Alfor sighed deeply. "Someone get him cleaned up."

The crew obliged, bustling around to make sure everything and everyone was okay, and Alfor tapped the side of his head repeatedly with his clipboard. "This is what I get for doing outdoor scenes."

* * *

"My mission is complete," Sendak said, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. "I've captured the Altean castle, along with all of the Voltron lions. I am currently preparing for launch and will be delivering them all to you shortly."

"This news is most pleasing," Zarkon murmured. "You have done your duty. Vrepit Sal."

"….it's sa."

"What?"

"It's Vrepit Sa, not Vrepit Sal."

Zarkon groaned and thumped his head back against his chair. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," Alfor called out. He glanced at Bradley, who was talking in hushed tones with the script writer. "But that did give us an idea for something later."

* * *

"Keith? Can you hear me?"

Keith's hand shot up to his helmet. "Pidge! Is that you? Where are you?"

"I'm inside the castle," Pidge hissed. Sendak has taken over and he's preparing for launch. He's got Shiro and your boyfriend."

"Pidge!"

Pidge grinned wickedly from her position off set where she was reading her lines, looking over to an exasperated Alfor. "What?"

Keith, bright red, glared at her from across the room. "He is _not_ my boyfriend."

"Babe, you wound me."

"Lance, I will shove that donut up your-!"

"KEITH."

* * *

"Is this the Balmera planet with the crystal?" Hunk asked.

Coran shook his head. "It's not a planet. Balmera are ancient animals. Petrified, but still alive. Their bodies naturally create the crystals that help power many Altean ships. I often accompanied my grandfather to visit these majestic creatures when he was building the Castle of Lions. I'll…wait."

Alfor huffed. "For the love of…what is it now?"

"How old _AM_ I?"

"Oh my god."

* * *

"The main engine just shorted out!" Haxus yelped.

Sendak pulled up the castle's footage in time to see Pidge dart off screen, and his eyes narrowed. "We have a saboteur. Find him and take him- ack!"

Pidge leapt up onto his back in piggyback form, wrapping her arms around his neck and grinning wickedly. "Surrender, you filthy Galra scum!"

Sendak fake gagged, pulling at Pidge's arms halfheartedly. "Never! Haxus, get my sword!"

Bradley lifted an eyebrow as the scene fell apart, the other paladins rushing in and fake fighting the villains, laughter permeating the room. "Shouldn't we call order and start again?"

Alfor pressed his lips into a thin line and shook his head wearily. "Let them get it all out. We'll start again in an hour or so."

"Pidge! Get BACK HERE with my BAYARD!"

"GOTTA BE FASTER THAN THAT, RED."


	5. Tears of the Balmera

**Episode Five: Tears of the Balmera Bloopers - BONDING MOMENT TIME. Also a lot of this chapter is Pidge cause this is like... _her_ episode.**

 **Rey129: Honestly they can't even lock them up from her she's too smart.**

 **Ewink18: Ahhh thanks! Sorry, I only really have time to update once a week!**

 **Mikihiko Tada: I would like to thank you for catching that because the moment you pointed it out I** _ **flew**_ **to change it on both editions of the story. And thank you so much!**

 **Any unfamiliar line belongs to me, all the rest is Dreamworks.**

* * *

"Wait, please!" Coran pleaded. "We need your help! If the Galra find us, they'll kill us!"

"Or torture us," Hunk added.

"Or keep us as some sort of creepy pet to play with how they please!"

Hunk frowned and his nose wrinkled. "That is a…really disgusting sentence when you think about it the wrong way."

Coran shot him a glare. "You just _had_ to go and make my lines vulgar, didn't you? The ONE TIME I'm not allowed to improvise!"

* * *

"Pidge, have you made it to the generator room?"

"I'm in," Pidge muttered. "This technology is so advanced, I don't know if I can figure it out."

She stepped across the threshold and glanced down as her foot snagged on a rope, promptly getting blasted with confetti and silly string from either side of the door. For a single second, there was dead silence on set, and then Lance, Hunk, and Keith all started howling and high fiving.

"PAYBACK BABY!"

Alfor winced and glanced at Pidge, certain this would cause her to up her game even more, but she just started laughing, shoulders quivering and face turning pink. "You guys suck," she declared, swiping confetti out of her outfit. "But I probably deserved that. Who rigged the door?"

"Hunk," Keith informed her.

The young man shrugged, a grin on his cheeks. "You seem to forget I worked in the tech department with you for six years, Pidge."

"Oh I don't forget, Hunk."

She turned and Alfor thumped his head into the back of his chair at the evil look on her face. "I never forget."

"Great."

* * *

"Hope you enjoy this home cooked meal, Matt. After our launch to Kerberos tomorrow, we'll be eating freeze-dried peas for the next two months."

"Don't lie," Matt teased. "I know you love those peas, Dad."

Sam hummed in agreement. "It's true. Those Garrison chefs-"

"Are you telling me their only main on-screen time is them talking about peas?" Lance whispered to Shiro off set as the scene continuted.

Shiro shrugged vaguely. "Apparently. Can't imagine that'll get overlooked by the fandom."

"They'll probably worship the very idea of it."

* * *

"Escort Miss Holt off the premises and make sure every guard knows she's never allowed on Garrison property ever again," Iverson ordered his guard.

"You can't keep me out!" Pidge shouted, kicking and struggling against the guard. "I'll find the truth! I'll never stop!"

She twisted particularly hard, one leg accidentally swinging up between the legs of the extra holding her, and he yelped, dropping her instantly. Pidge winced and clapped her hands over her mouth to hide her smile. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

The guard gave her a weak grin and waved a hand. "I'm good."

Pidge turned to Iverson with a completely straight face and pointed at the guard. "I told you I'd never stop."

Alfor sighed. "Someone get Marks some ice, please! We'll come back in five!"

The crew hurried to help the fallen extra and Alfor gestured to Bradley for his clipboard, shaking his head as he crossed out Marks' name. "That's one extra we're not getting back."

* * *

Pidge flung her bayard forward, holding on tightly as a grappling hook rappelled out of it and carried her upwards. It stalled in midair, and she was left dangling several feet off the ground in her harness. "How does this always happen to me?" she groaned.

The Galra soldier that had been shooting at her strolled up and tapped her foot with his gun, laughter bubbling from under the mask. "I think I win."

"I agree. Now can someone help me down?"

* * *

"Thanks for the special soup. Are these potatoes in here?" Hunk asked.

"Grandma's special dish for special visitors," Shay said happily. "Cave root for the skin. Cave bugs for the soul."

Hunk sloshed the soup around in his mouth before instantly spitting it out, a horrified look on his face. "There are _actual_ bugs in here!"

Off set, Lance whooped in delight, and Shay covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her giggles. Hunk scowled and flipped his friend off, glancing back at Alfor. "You see what happens when Lance doesn't have more than a couple of speaking lines in an episode?"

Alfor, who was tapping his head repeatedly against the back of his chair, nodded. "Never again."

* * *

"I made it!" Lance cried in delight. "I'm a fighter pilot! Hasta la later, Keith!"

He started dancing in the middle of the hallway, a grin on his face, and within moments Keith was moonwalking onto the set next to him, imitating Lance's dance and nudging him with his elbow. "As if I'd let you control a ship, loser."

"Are you quiznaking serious?" Alfor muttered.

* * *

"We got a lot of great times ahead, so we should probably start bonding now. What do you say we sneak off campus for some pizza, meet some girls while we're at it?"

Pidge grinned. "Sure!"

"Aren't you supposed to be looking for me?" Matt called from off set, ignoring the groans of irritation from the crew.

"I mean probably, I just couldn't remember what I was supposed to be doing while Lance was talking. He's kind of a loud mouth."

"Hey!"

* * *

"Rover!"

Rover beeped at Pidge and the light slowly blinked out, making Haxus scream and fall to his doom five feet below, where he landed on a mat. Pidge dropped to her knees in anguish. "NO!"

"Glad you're so upset over my untimely death," Haxus teased after the recording lights had flickered off.

"Oh yeah. Heartbroken."

* * *

"Verify identification code or be destroyed," the drone said, pointing it's gun at the disguised Coran and Hunk.

"Okay, okay," Coran murmured. "I've got it right….here!"

Hunk threw off the cloak over them and promptly lost his balance, tumbling backwards with Coran still on his shoulders, his gun dropping to the ground next to him. The extras in the drone suits instantly started laughing, and Coran disentangled his legs from Hunk's shoulders in order to get up.

"Remind me again who decided it would be a good idea for me to be on top of him?" Coran groaned, cracking his back.

Hunk, from the ground, glared up at Coran. "I'm not having the peachiest time either, man."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Katie?"

Pidge glanced up from where she was tugging on her uniform, raising an eyebrow at Sendak. "How many times have I told you, Pidge is fine?"

"Right, right. Listen, I know Alfor offered you a stunt double and you said no? So I just-"

"Is this about my size?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and standing up straight. "Cause I'm not worried about that. I took tumbling lessons as a kid, and karate. I can take a hit."

Sendak frowned, rubbing his jaw and effectively smearing some of the purple makeup on his skin. "I'm aware. But still."

Pidge grinned and patted him on the arm. "I'll be fine. Don't let Zarkon see you talking like that, though. Y'old softy."

Sendak snorted and ruffled her hair, making her yelp. "Yeah, yeah. Twerp."

"Have fun getting captured!" Pidge called cheerfully over her shoulder as she skipped away.

* * *

"Stand back!" Sendak ordered, clutching Pidge tightly in his hand.

A blast from Lance's bayard knocked him forwards and Pidge tumbled to the ground, bouncing off of the stunt mat and onto the floor. "What is up with me getting hurt so much this episode?" she groaned, accepting Keith's hand.

"Now you know how I feel," Lance muttered from the other side of the room.

* * *

"Lance. Are you okay?" Keith asked, kneeling next to his friend and grabbing his hand.

"We did it," Lance whispered in awe, lifting his gaze to Keith's with a small smile. "We are a good team."

Keith allowed a matching smile to slide across his face as they stared at one another, hands clasped and eyes locked. After a moment of total silence, the two of them glanced up, faces slightly warm, to find the whole crew watching them with massive grins on their faces. "What?" Keith demanded.

Pidge had her arms crossed smugly over her chest, an eyebrow raised. "Could you two _be_ any more infatuated?"

Keith promptly dropped Lance's hand, cheeks bright red. "No one yelled cut!" he protested.

"Yeah, come on!" Lance muttered, pushing himself to his feet and stepping away from Keith as much as he could without making it obvious.

"Uh huh, sure," Shiro said, a twinkle in his eyes. "That's what it was."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Lance?"

Lance glanced up from reading his script to find Keith in the doorway of his dressing room, looking anywhere but at him, feet shifting nervously on the floor. "What's up, Keith?"

Keith bit his lip and glanced up from under a fringe of hair, studying the actor in front of him for a moment. "Um…about that whole scene…I-"

"It's cool, dude," Lance promised. "We were just following the script. Right?"

Keith swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I guess?"

Lance looked just as unsure as Keith sounded, but he still nodded and stood, stretching for a moment and depositing his script on the table next to his couch. "What do you say we go for Chinese food?"

Keith tilted his head and gave him a warm smile, stepping aside to let Lance through the door. "Sounds good to me. You're paying though."

Lance chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, okay, fine."

Pidge and Hunk watched them go from their position outside of Shiro's dressing room, where they were waiting for the man to get dressed to take them out to the store for a few prank items they were planning. "Wanna up the bet?"

Hunk snorted. "Put me down for ten more."

"Twenty!" Shiro called from inside.

"Betting on the lovebirds?" Zarkon asked as he strolled by, finally out of his outfit and back in every day clothing. A towel in his hands was stained purple and his ears still held traces of the color.

Pidge grinned. "Oh totally. You want in, Zee?"

Zee, as he was affectionately known on set, snorted, running his fingers through his hair and getting the last bit of purple out of it. "Is that even a question? Thirty, by the end of this season."

"Done."


	6. Taking Flight

**Episode Six: Taking Flight Bloopers - sorry this is so late, I lost track of time! The next one should be up at normal time.**

 **Rey129: Oh it's totally revenge**

 **Mikihiko Tada: I can't wait to write some behind the scenes Haggar. She's gonna be such fun.**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine.**

* * *

"Yes!" Hunk cried, pumping a fist. "I think we're winning!"

"Winning what?" Keith asked incredulously. "The inter-galactic time measuring competition?"

Hunk pouted mater-of-factly. "Yes."

"You guys having a clock party?" Lance asked, sleep prominent in his voice.

Hunk shrieked, nearly elbowing Lance in the face, and then spun to glare at Alfor. "DUDE! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HE WOULD DO THAT!"

* * *

"I punched Sendak!"

"Yeah, apparently after I emerged from a coma and shot his arm off."

Keith scoffed. "We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!"

Pidge couldn't keep back her snorts of laughter anymore, cheeks bright red and arms clutching her stomach. "The…the voice crack!" she wheezed. "Oh my god!"

Bradley glanced at Alfor, who seemed remarkably calm. "Sir?"

"I told Lance and Keith to improvise the first two scenes. None of the cast has any idea what they're going to say or do. The only scripted lines are the ones towards other cast members."

"Amazing."

* * *

"You're a _girl?_ HOW?"

"I've known for some time, but I'm—wait. Didn't I discover she was a girl yesterday?"

"Allura, please."

"Sorry, Dad."

* * *

"We don't have time for any more of your magic. We must move our ships now," Prorok snapped.

Haggar sneered. "Voltron is the most powerful weapon ever created. His puny ships will never be up to….shit, what was it?"

"The task, Haggar, the task," Prorok groaned. "Clearly you're not up to it."

"I will eject you into the parking lot, Prorok."

* * *

"Hunk. Calm down," Keith soothed. "And yes, blasting."

Shiro shrugged a shoulder, a small smile on his face. "Eh, it's our first big rescue mission. He's excited."

Pidge grinned and flipped her head backwards to look at Hunk. "Excited to see his new _girlfriend_!"

"She is NOT my girlfriend!" Hunk protested.

Lance gasped. "Hunk, don't be so rude, she's standing right there!" he cried, pointing off set to where Shay was watching them all with an amused smile.

"Do you think," Alfor grumbled, "that you three could go for TEN MINUTES without messing up a scene on purpose?"

"Probably," Pidge admitted. "But where's the fun in that?"

* * *

"Coran, do we have a siren we can turn on?" Lance asked in excitement.

"Uh, no. But we could record you making a siren noise and broadcast that to them."

"Perfect!"

Lance cupped his hands and started with the sound, only to have Shiro instantly clap a hand over his mouth and shut him up.

"Nope, not doing- did you just _LICK ME_?"

* * *

"I am Princess Allura of Altea, and from now on you won't be alone fighting the Galra. You'll have the paladins of Voltron by your side!"

In the background, Lance was busy flirting with Nyma, and Pidge was rocking back and forth on Beezer. As everyone watched, Pidge leaned too far to the left and face planted into the dirt, the still beeping robot falling on top of her.

"You good Pidge?" Alfor called out.

"Someone get this dumb robot off of me!"

Beezer beeped indignantly.

* * *

"My planet was destroyed by the Galra," Rolo explained, "and I was taken captive. I managed to escape, but not before I lost something."

He lifted his pant leg and tapped at his leg, wincing as it fell off and hit the ground with a "clunk," leaving his stump dangling in the air. Rolo glanced up. "Uhhhh….my bad. Guess I didn't tighten it enough. It's a bit different than my normal prosthetic."

Alfor rolled his eyes. "We've had worse. Someone help him strap that leg on properly, please?"

* * *

"Hunk, we're going to get going soon," Shiro promised. "But I think Rolo might have some information that could be helpful to us."

Hunk huffed. "Not for nothing, but I don't trust this guy as far as I can throw him. We ought to leave him with parts and just say, "Au revoir, mon ami.""

"Hunk! Spanish!

"Dang it!"

* * *

"The Komar experiment was a success," Haggar hissed. "We have gained an entire planet's quintessence, a feat that would have normally taken us years."

Zarkon hummed. "Most impressive. This will revolutionize the way we advance throughout the galaxy. Mining and kernelizing planets is a thing of the-what?"

Haggar was struggling to hide her laughter, eyes twinkling under her hood. Off set, the paladins were doubled over cackling. "It's uh…it's _colonizing._ "

Zee just stared at her for a long moment before suddenly his entire face lit up with understanding. "Are you telling me I've been pronouncing that word wrong my entire life?"

"Apparently."

"It's spelled like Colonel! Like in the army! Oh my god, I hate English."

* * *

Lance slid down to the ground, straining his body to reach his feet out to his helmet, arms pressed firmly against the tree so that he was as stretched out as possible. His foot pressed into the helmet and he shouted with triumph, flinging his leg up and promptly sending the helmet flying off set. He groaned and smacked his forehead into the dirt.

"Take twenty-six!"

* * *

"Lance! Are you all right?"

"Well…I'm kinda…chained to a tree?"

"Kinky."

"HUNK!"

* * *

"Hey Lance," Keith said, panting a little. "I got your lion back."

"Thank you, babe. Now can you-quiznak."

"YOU CALLED HIM BABE."

"I'M WELL AWARE, THANK YOU PIDGE."


	7. Return to the Balmera

**Episode Seven: Return to the Balmera bloopers.**

 **KoalaLover-ABC-123: Lol thank you. I hope you enjoy this update as well!**

 **This episode (and the next, probably) have a little less to work with, since there are just so many fighting scenes, so they'll probably be a little shorter.**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine.**

* * *

"So what's the plan?" Lance asked Allura. "We go in there and just…pow pow pow! And free the prisoners?"

"What was that noise?" Keith asked, wrinkling his nose and glancing sideways at Lance.

He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Laser guns."

Hunk shook his head. "No, Lance, I think you mean bew bew bew….POOWW!"

"That sounds like fireworks!"

"Technically, they're more like bachuu bachuu bachuu!" Pidge informed them.

Shiro rolled his eyes in exasperation. "All right, enough with the bad sound effects…besides, it's more like blam blam blam!"

" _What_?"

"You're crazy!"

"No way!"

"Wrong."

"Cut!"

The team froze and turned to look at Alfor, who was staring at Shiro in disbelief. "Shiro. I had faith in you. You never mess up on purpose."

Shiro grinned brightly. "What? That was totally in character. No one broke, right?"

"…right."

"So keep it!"

"He's got a point, sir."

"Not a word, Bradley."

* * *

"We can track the Galra and the Balmerans by using Biothermal Life Indicator Point Technology," Allura informed them.

"Oh, BLIP tech!" Pidge cried, shifting her glasses. At Allura's look, she raised an eyebrow. "It's an acronym."

"Neeerrrrrd."

"Lance, I will _gut you_."

* * *

"How do you wish to proceed?" the Galran soldier asked Prorok.

"Contact Subcommander-"

He sneezed violently, startling everyone on set, and then continued as if nothing had happened. "His fleet is awaiting my commands."

Alfor called the stage to a halt and just stared at Prorok for a second. "What was _that_?" he demanded.

Prorok gave an impish grin. "You mean that's not how you pronounce his name?"

* * *

"The entire hangar's only being guarded by a few sentries," Keith noted. "Let's go!"

Lance flung a hand out and grabbed Keith by the shoulder, pulling him backwards a little too forcefully and sending them both to the dirt. When they looked up, Lance's hand was firmly glued to Keith's armor. They glanced at one another and then whipped around to glare off set, where Pidge and Hunk were cackling.

"PIDGE!"

Alfor sighed in exasperation. "Someone get them unstuck. And someone else go take away every single bonding substance that Pidge owns in her room."

Pidge snickered, unfazed. "He said bonding."

* * *

 _Take One_

"No, no, it's over here," came Lance's hissed voice from the air vent above the fake guard.

"I know what I'm doing," Keith snapped.

The point of his sword sliced down through the vent and made a perfect circle. Lance fell down through the hole, on top of the guard, and then rolled out of the way while Keith jumped down. When he didn't get up, Keith glanced over to see Lance tugging in irritation at his shoes. "They're glued to the bottom," he huffed.

Pidge flung up her hands off set and pointed in the opposite direction. "Don't look at me! They took my stuff!"

The two sent a glare over at Zee and Haggar, who were cackling with a couple of extras on the other side of the set. "Are you _kidding me_?" Lance groaned.

"Okay, someone just take away the glue from EVERY cast member!" Alfor ordered.

 _Take Two_

"I don't know what I'm doing over here," Lance admitted, shuffling aside as Keith came over. "It's all Galra gibberish."

"Let me see," Keith muttered.

He studied the pad for a moment and settled his hand down. The buzzers in the hangar doors whirred and clanked as they started closing, only for them to give out in a puff of smoke and stop halfway.

Lance hummed in the back of his throat. "Huh. Guess you aren't Galra after all."

"Spoiler alert!"

* * *

Pidge watched in shock as the younger Balmeran fell directly under the path of a giant boulder. She darted forwards, tripping a little as the ground shook, and pushed her out of the way in time to get crushed by the boulder.

"You good there?" the extras giggled, moving around to help her.

Pidge leaned on her elbow and rolled her eyes. "I'm in agony. Can you get this thing off me?"

"Maybe you should leave her there!" Lance called from off set.

"I will STRING YOU UP BY YOUR TOES."

"Oooh, angry Pidge."

* * *

Lance gestured to Keith, pointing upwards at the vents and ladder, then himself, and then towards the Galran sentries. Keith frowned. "Huh?" His gaze wandered over where Lance had been pointing and he smiled, pointing towards the ladder and leaving Lance to internally slap his forehead.

He jumped out in front of the sentries once Keith was up the ladder. "Nananana boo boo!" he taunted, before promptly flinging up his shield and squatting down behind it. His balance wavered and he tumbled backwards onto the rock, shield on the floor next to him. "Who _designed_ these?" he demanded. "They're so small!"

* * *

Hunk burst into the center room and gasped as he spotted Shay, dangling from a rope with her mouth gagged. "Shay!" he yelped.

He shot her down and flew into the air, grabbing her in a bridal carry and then slowly sinking to the ground. The harness holding them up froze and left them dangling a foot in the air. Hunk let Shay down and then twisted to glare up at the tech guys. "How have you guys not FIXED THIS YET?"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Hunk waited patiently in the doorway of Shay's dressing room as she finished peeling off the last of the prosthetic makeup used to make her look like her character, rinsing and drying her skin back to its usual brown color. She turned to Hunk and smiled warmly, pulling on a sweatshirt and a pair of hoop earrings. "What's up, Hunk?"

He shifted on his feet nervously. "I um…I wanted to know if maybe…if maybe you wanted to go get coffee and work on lines for the next episode shoot?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Shay shot him a smirk and ran a brush through her hair, tugging it back into a stubby ponytail with a bright yellow scrunchie. "I think that would be great," she agreed, stepping into a pair of boots and grabbing her wallet. "Let me run to the bathroom real fast, okay? Meet you in the lobby."

She stepped past him and headed for the restroom, leaving Hunk to thunk his head back against the doorjamb and sigh in delight.

"Oooooh someone's got a date!" Lance taunted from across the hall in his room, where he had been listening in. "Took you long enough, man!"

Hunk rolled his eyes, a blush dusting his cheeks as he walked towards the lobby. "Shut up, Lance."

"Use protection!"

Hunk leaned into Pidge's room on the way out, startling her from her book. "Add ten more to my betting pool. And if I win, I want _full_ bragging rights."

A smile tugged at Pidge's lips. "He irritating you?"

"I'm gonna take his donut tomorrow."

"Ooh. Serious."

* * *

 **Shay's human form idea (in my head) is courtesy of the artist pahndah on Tumblr. They have a really cute human Shay design and I couldn't not think about it while writing this.**

 **Reviews are lovely!**


	8. Rebirth

**Episode Eight: Rebirth Bloopers**

 **Updating before I go to the art festival in town doo doo. This chapter is much shorter than my usual ones, because there's not a whole lot to work with in this episode. The next one will definitely be longer because it's not just battles.**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine.**

* * *

"Please tell me there is not a giant monster in there," Hunk whimpered. "Please tell me it's empty! Or full of space candy. One of those two. Either one is fine."

Lance scowled. "I don't think it's a piñata Hunk."

There was a long pause, and then everyone turned to look at Pidge. "It's not a piñata, _right Pidge?"_ Shiro asked.

Pidge rolled her eyes. "No. They took all my tools. Plus, no way I could get twenty seven pounds of candy on such short notice."

Keith cocked an eyebrow. "How'd you know it needed twenty seven pounds of candy?"

"….I might have tried to make it a piñata."

* * *

"We've lost the spectral generator!" Coran shrieked. "Going to reserve! THERE'S A FIRE IN VIN BAY THREE. Suppressors on! Suppressors out! PRINCESS! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? THE SHIP IS BEING TORN APART!"

Allura waved a hand weakly in Coran's direction, ignoring his grin in favor of clutching her stomach. "Can you stop giving him all the screaming lines around me?" she wheezed. "Jesus."

* * *

"Fight back against a monster like that? How?" Shay asked.

"I don't know," Hunk admitted. "But we can beat it. Tell her, Keith."

Keith gave Hunk a side glance. " _Can_ we?"

Hunk stared at him. "Keith you're the worst."

"HUNK!"

"Sorry Alfor!"

* * *

"There is no need to speak for you. You have a unique power within. The Balmera will carry your words," the grandmother assured her, motioning to the glowing blue color under Allura's hand. "Speak your heart child. All can hear you."

Allura nodded and ducked her head. "Balmerans. This is Princess Allura. You do not know me, but-"

The light under her hand abruptly went out, leaving her to falter and everyone to stare at the place it had been.

"Apparently your power within has been shut off," Shay joked.

* * *

"Guys, remember when I said we didn't have to beat it?"

"Yes I remember that!"

"Well we might have to beat it."

"I was wrong," Hunk decided. "Shiro, you're the worst."

" _HUNK."_

"Sorry!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You know," Lance muttered, watching the finished product of the episode and sipping casually on a lemonade. "That robo beast could have killed everyone on the Balmera in the time it took for us to form Voltron."

Pidge glanced at him. "You know that's just for effect, right? The real transformation only takes like two seconds."

"Yeah, but still. What bad guy is gonna just sit around and wait for us to form Voltron?"

"No, for real, the actual transformation-"

"What actual transformation?" Keith asked, flabbergasted. "Guys, it's a _TV Show._ "

* * *

Allura collapsed to the ground, completely drained of energy, and Shay knelt at her side, tenderly pulling her into her arms. "Princess, are you all right?"

"Now…KISS!" Lance shouted from off screen.

Allura and Shay both started laughing, Allura shaking her head and sitting up on her own. "I think I'll leave that to Hunk."

Hunk's face turned beet red and everyone on the cast and crew started whooping and cheering, Shay covering her smile with her hands. Bradley glanced at Alfor. "Should we take it from the top, sir?"

Alfor shook his head, a small smirk on his face. "Let them get it out of their systems. It's been a serious episode."

* * *

Everyone watched in awe as the crystals started poking out of the ground, turning around in surprise when Hunk started speaking. "Oh, who's a good Balmera? You are! Who ate the big monster! You did, yes you did. Yes you did."

Keith's lips quirked and he decided to go with it. "Dude. What are you doing?"

"What? It's alive, and it wuvs my scwatches!"

No one broke character despite the improv, and after about ten minutes of prodding, Alfor agreed to keep the scene in.


	9. Crystal Venom

**Episode Nine: Crystal Venom Bloopers**

 **I forgot yesterday was Saturday whoops lol. This was a fun one to write, and back to the expected length of the chapters.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine. More Behind the Scenes than usual in this chapter...I need to start doing those more.**

* * *

"As the memories are extracted, they're written bit by bit on every individual molecules of the micro-storage strands," Coran explained.

Lance smiled fondly. "When I go, I want all of my memories stored in a giant shit."

Keith opened his mouth, ready to say his line, and a grin curled up his face. "In a giant shit, huh? So like your personality?"

"Oh, fuck you."

* * *

They all stood around for a while, staring at the pod that Sendak was sleeping in. Lance, staring at Shiro, started smirking.

"Hey. Hey Shiro," he chanted, poking Shiro in the arm. A smile flickered at Shiro's lips but he kept his face stoic, knowing that Alfor would just cut the shenanigans out in the time lapse. They had been told to improvise most of this scene anyway. "Heeeeyyyyy Shiro!"

Shiro bit down on his lip and kept his eyes on Sendak, and Lance pouted. "You're no fun. Maybe Sendak will talk to me."

He turned to the pod and started tapping at it incessantly. "Hey. Hey Sendak. Seeennnndaaaa-"

Sendak lurched forwards, clicking his teeth into a snarl, and Lance shrieked in both delight and fear, scrambling backwards. Shiro broke character and started laughing, and Sendak, still in the pod, leaned back into position with a grin on his face.

Alfor shook his head, eyes glittering. "You boys are lucky this is a time lapse scene. Back into position, please. Keep rolling."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Coran," Lance nodded, eyes scanning the snack table while Hunk and Pidge worked on their food goo scene.

"Hey, Space Juice."

Lance glanced up, an eyebrow raised and a smile pulling at the edges of his mouth. "What was that?"

Coran looked at him from the corner of his eyes, his mustache tugging upwards. "I said hey, Space Juice."

A chuckle bubbled up from Lance's chest. "That's what I thought."

* * *

"Okay, we're going to have to flank the goo to shut it down!" Pidge shouted, handing Hunk a plate.

Hunk nodded once, clutching the plate to his chest, and then grabbed Pidge by her shirt sleeve. "Okay wait, wait." He mustered a breath and saluted her. "It's been a pleasure cooking with you. GO!"

They jumped from their hiding spot, shielding themselves from the flying goo. Hunk opened his mouth to catch a glob but missed, and it hit him in the face instead. Pidge started cackling, stopping in her place and ignoring the goo being shot at her, and Hunk grinned. "Oh, so you think that's funny do you?"

Pidge shrieked as Hunk swiped up a glob and flung it at her, laughing and ducking to scoop some of her own, flinging it back.

Lance and Keith, from the sidelines, whooped and dove in alongside them, picking up goo and throwing it with deadly accuracy. "SHIRO. GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!" Lance shouted.

Shiro held up a hand, eyes sparkling. "No thanks, I'm-"

A splatter of goo slammed into his face and he froze, whipping his gaze up to glare at Keith, who had a wicked grin on his face. "Oh, it is ON!"

He joined the fray and Bradley glanced at Alfor. "Um…sir?"

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Get props to stop shooting the goo, and the actors can clean it up. Plus, this gives me an idea for a future episode."

* * *

"Start training level three," Keith commanded.

A bot dropped from the ceiling and charged him, Keith nimbly ducking and swiping with his sword. He groaned at a narrow miss and glanced upwards. "End training sequence."

The bot kept coming at him and Keith's eyes widened. "END training sequence! End training sequence NOW!"

His sword was swiped from his hand and Keith yelped, tumbling backwards and landing in a heap on the floor. With a grunt, he charged at the bot, dropping to his knees at the last second and promptly falling backwards with an, "Oof."

"Smooth work, samurai!" Lance teased from off-screen.

The man in the bot suit laughed and helped him up. Keith flipped Lance off, cracked his back, and went back to one before Alfor could say a word.

* * *

"The ship might seem like a fantastical, magical creature to you, but it's really just a big embodiment of advanced supernatural technology that cannot be explained by science alone!"

Lance cocked an eyebrow at Coran and the man frowned. "Well that does make it seem a bit haunted, doesn't it."

"No shit."

The two snorted and burst into giggles.

* * *

"Okay, so all the sensors are on the crystal. Hit the switch."

Hunk hopped up from his seat and moved to the circuit board, finger hovering over the switch and waiting. After a minute, when nothing had happened, they both glanced over at maintenance. "Um…aren't we supposed to be floating right now?" Pidge asked in bewilderment.

One of the techs looked up from their position. "It doesn't um…seem to be working."

Hunk groaned. "Alfor, can you _please_ invest in a new harness system?"

* * *

"I need help!" Lance shrieked. "Because if you don't get me out of here right now, I'm going to be sucked out into space!"

"Doors opening."

Lance yelped. "I'm getting sucked out into space!"

He grabbed onto the edge of the airlock hatch, screaming, and Keith moved quickly, slamming his sword into the airlock's lock and letting the bot get sucked out into space. He shoved his bayard away and crouched at the entrance, stretching for Lance's hand.

"Keith! Keith, come on!"

He yanked backwards hard, accidentally losing his grip, and Lance was blown backwards into the green screen behind them. He looked up with an amused scowl. "Way to let me die, asshole."

Keith snickered. "Sorry."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So…wait. You actually _want_ us to improvise the whole next scene?" Lance asked incredulously.

Alfor pursed his lips. "Yes. You all have a good grasp on your characters and their personalities. As longs as it leads up to Coran's line about Sendak's crystal."

Lance glanced at the rest of the group with a grin and Alfor held up a hand, his eyes narrowed. "Do _not_ make me regret this."

"Oh, you won't."

* * *

"Is this…real?" Allura asked, looking to her father.

"Of course it is real, daughter," Alfor promised. "That flower you're touching is real."

"But where is the fragrance of the sweet juniberries?" Coran shouted.

Allura lifted the flower to her nose, only to have it squirt water directly into her face. She yelped, dropping it instantly, and turned her dripping wet glare to Pidge. "PIDGE!"

Pidge flung her hands up. "It wasn't me, I swear!"

Allura glanced behind her, expecting her father to look upset, but instead there was a glimmer in his eyes, and a realization dawned on her. " _You_?" she spluttered.

Alfor shrugged, a grin on his face. "Have to admit, that was amusing to watch."

"Dad!"

"Woo! GO ALFOR!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Cut!"

Allura got to her feet, tears still streaming down her cheeks, and stepped off set for makeup. Shiro caught her on the way there, eyes studying her. "Either that was really good acting," he commented. "Or-"

She smiled thinly and swiped at the tears on her face, taking a shaky breath. She glanced back over her shoulder at her father as he instructed the tech crew to do something. "Um…that was just…a hard scene. Ever since Mom passed away…"

Her voice trailed off and Shiro slipped a hand down, curling their fingers together and squeezing gently. "Hey. It's all good. He's there. You're here. You've got him. And us."

Allura glanced back at him and smiled, eyes still glimmering. "Thank you, Shiro."


	10. Collection and Extraction

**Episode Ten: Collection and Extraction Bloopers**

 **ariatheguardianangel106: I thought about that actually, but I couldn't find a good way to word it. Sorry!**

 **Guest: I'm confused by your brain also.**

 **All unfamiliar lines are mine yadda yadda.**

* * *

"Once we learn all his weaknesses," Lance mused, "we can drive up to his front door and challenge him to a fight. Winner gets the universe!"

"Hopefully it's not you in that fight," Keith grumbled. "Or we're dead."

"RUDE."

* * *

"Most of it was a garbled mess, but one thing kept repeating; something called a 'Universal Station.'"

"Universal Station?" Hunk repeated curiously. "Like, the kind of station that controls the universe?"

Pidge shrugged. "Well, we are translating it from Galra, so it could be 'Galactic Hub.'"

"Or Space Ace," Lance suggested.

Everyone stared at him for a moment. "What?"

"It's…base. Space Base," Coran managed.

Lance clapped a hand to his forehead. "Ohhhhhhh. That makes _so_ much more sense."

* * *

"I'm a part of this fight against Zarkon as much as anyone. I'm going. Does anyone have a problem with that?" Allura demanded.

Coran looked helplessly at the rest of the paladins, who instantly turned away, whistling and scratching the back of their heads. Shiro shrugged. "Fine. Suit up."

The high pitched shriek that came out of Coran's mouth had not been what anyone was anticipating, and within moments Pidge and Lance were keeping each other up, laughing hysterically and wiping tears from their eyes.

Allura had a smile quivering on her face as she glanced towards her father. "You see what I mean about the screaming scenes, Dad?"

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, I got it."

* * *

"Do you guys remember when we studied algorithms at the Garrison," Hunk said, glancing between the other paladins eagerly, "and Mr. York told us that joke about the ghost learning symbol la…la…bleh. Yeah, that's it."

Hunk rolled his eyes, ignoring his snickering cast mates. "Symbol-la-la-logic. Totally what the joke was about."

* * *

They all waited anxiously as the Galra soldier appeared on screen, looking puzzled by his silent counterpart. "He's still looking," Lance hissed, leaning out a little. "I think he's waiting for a-"

He lost his balance and promptly tipped sideways onto the floor. The Galra sentry on screen gasped, overdramatic with a grin on his face. "INTRUDERS!"

Lance scowled at him from the floor. "Oh shush."

* * *

"How are you going to get in?" Keith asked Allura incredulously.

She smiled, pulling her helmet off and tucking it under her arm. "I'm going to walk right through the front."

They all stared at her for a long second, which eventually grew to an awkward silence, and suddenly Hunk snickered. Alfor slapped his palms onto his arm rests. "Hunk! What is so _funny_?"

Hunk threw up his hands apologetically. "I'm sorry!" he promised. "I just laugh when I get uncomfortable!"

"That was a rather long take," Allura offered.

"We were _trying_ to have enough footage to dramatically make you taller and purple."

"…well okay then."

* * *

"I will need a change of costume," Allura agreed. She nodded to the fallen sentry. "I can use his uniform as a disguise."

"I can't let you go in there alone," Shiro protested.

"Excuse me? I do _not_ need your permission!"

The rest of the paladins leaned over to look at him, unamused looks on their faces, and Pidge toppled over after only a moment, hitting the ground.

Alfor rubbed his clipboard up and down his face as the cast laughed and helped her up. "How many minutes into the episode are we, Bradley?"

"Uh…about eight, sir."

"Fantastic."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You're telling me I have to fit in there," Shiro deadpanned, staring down at the trash junk box with approximately enough space for his curled up body to squeeze into.

"Yes," said the props manager.

Shiro ran a hand over his jaw, sighing in exasperation. "Yeah, okay." He turned back to the team, shooting them a withering glare. "Not one word."

They held back their snickers for as long as possible, but the moment Shiro accidentally tripped and somersaulted onto the floor, they were gone.

* * *

"Stop it, Hunk!" Pidge scolded. "I think we can teach it to help us. Would you like to help us, Mr. Robot?"

The robot whirred it's head so rapidly back it forth that it flew off and across the set, beaning one of the equipment hands in the head and scuttling over the floor. Hunk and Pidge burst into chest heaving laughter, Lance not far behind them, and Alfor himself had to suppress the wide grin on his face.

"Someone uh…someone fix the robot? Please?"

* * *

"Cut!" Alfor called.

"Quick question," Lance mused. "Does Allura talk about me when I'm not in the room?"

"Oh yeah, all the time," Hunk said matter-of-factly.

Lance popped his head up. "Really?"

Hunk grinned. "Yeah yeah. She's all like, 'Oooh, Lance. He looks so fine, I'm all a twitter.' Then she turns red and makes me swear not to tell anyone."

"I knew it!" Lance cheered, only to get smacked in the face with Pidge's robot. He yelped, and Pidge bit back a smirk.

"Whoops."

Alfor turned to the lead camera operator, a glimmer in his eyes. "Tell me you-"

"Got that? Oh yeah."

"Keep it."

* * *

"I can't believe it," Coran gasped in horror. "They've found a new way to acquire quintessence!"

"Guys," Keith whispered. "I'm going to steal some of this…quint whatever."

"Oh for real?" the guy in the droid suit groaned. "I had to give a tongue twister lecture on what quintessence is and he just gets to say quint whatever?"

"You're a _robot_ ," Lance pointed out.

"No justice."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Lance? Can you move?" Shiro asked, reaching around Lance with a pair of tongs to try and grab at the fruit platter on the other side of the actor. "I'm craving strawberries."

Lance cocked his hip and twisted so that he was blocking Shiro's view further, eyes scanning him in appraisal and free hand tapping his hamburger bun. "Hmm, I dunno. How hungry would you say you are? On a scale of one, being 'nah I'm full,' to five, 'would eat a rabid bear?'"

Shiro studied him for a moment. "Solid three."

"Yeah, all right, you pass."

He stepped aside and glanced back at Lance, hand hovering over the fruit. "This is going to become a regular thing, isn't it?"

Lance just grinned.

* * *

"I'm not leaving you!" Shiro snapped, fighting back another soldier.

The pod doors started shutting, the warning beeping through the corridor. "You have to!" Allura shouted.

She grabbed Shiro by the collar and heaved backwards and forwards, tossing him to the door and missing, his body smacking into the wall and sliding to the ground, where he laid groaning. "Owwww," he whined. "That was way harder than I expected."

Keith and Lance ran over to help him up while Pidge and Hunk did the same to Allura. "I think I sprained my wrist," she groaned.

"Why didn't the wire fling him back like it was supposed to?" Pidge asked in confusion.

They all looked to Alfor, who was rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Uh…the maintenance guys aren't coming until tomorrow?"

"Dad, what the hell?"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Brought you an ice pack."

Allura glanced up from her mirror at Shiro, who was leaning in the doorway with a cold compress in his prosthetic hand. She smiled bashfully. "I should have brought you one. Sorry, I didn't realize I could throw so hard."

Shiro flushed and stepped inside, handing it over and watching as she pulled off her earrings. "I didn't either. It was…kinda hot."

Her ears went beet red and he chuckled, picking the pack back up and settling it over her bad wrist. "Twenty on, twenty off," he suggested. "Always helped me with sore body parts in football."

She smiled appreciatively.

Outside the door, the rest of the group exchanged money to Pidge, Lance cashing in a sizeable amount and grinning in delight as he shoved it into his pocket. "Fuck yeah," he hissed.

Pidge swatted him, scribbling down the exchange in her notebook. "You only won the "hit on" pot. There's still the actual date pot, and the official announcement pot."

"Won't take long," Keith decided.

Lance snorted. "Yeah. How oblivious can two people be?"

They strolled off together, leaving Pidge and Hunk to look at one another like they were on The Office and exchange even more money.

Haggar caught them as they left the room, her eyes sparkling and her silky white hair cascading down her shoulders, fresh from the shower. "Did I see you two exchange money for klance?"

Pidge grinned. "Yup. Wanna up it?"

She slapped a ten into Pidge's hand with a wink. "That's for the 'hold hands' pot, though. Set me down for two weeks from now."

Pidge jotted it down in her notebook and then tilted her head, glancing back at Hunk before speaking again. "You're into pranks, right?"

The smile on Haggar's face widened. "What do you have in mind?"

* * *

 **Anyone have any clever nicknames for Haggar? Like how we call Zarkon 'Zee?'**


	11. The Black Paladin

**Episode Eleven: The Black Paladin**

 **Thanks to everyone for your suggestions on the name for Haggar! I decided to go with Aggie, just cause it sounded cute and was close enough to Haggar to work.**

 **Important message at the end.**

 **All unfamiliar text is mine. Can't believe I'm already done with Season One RIGHT AFTER SEASON THREE'S TRAILER CAME OUT AHHHHH.**

* * *

"I'm not saying I like the idea," Keith snapped. "I'm just thinking like a paladin."

Lance sneered. "No, you're thinking of yourself 'cause you're too scared to do what's right!"

Pidge held up her hands, glancing between the group. "Okay, we're all upset because we lost Allura-"

"No, SHIRO lost Allura!" Coran shouted, whipping around to scowl at the black paladin.

Hunk started to give his line but Shiro snorted, clapping a hand over his mouth as he interrupted him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he snorted. "Coran was making faces at me."

Coran looked appalled. "I most certainly was not!"

* * *

Allura looked up and glared as Haggar walked into her cell, stopping just at the entrance. "Come with me," she ordered, her voice monotone.

Allura was forced to her feet and prodded down the hall behind Haggar, so she had a perfect view when the woman tripped on her robes and fumbled over the ground. She bit back a laugh, pressing her cuffed hands to her mouth, and Aggie held up a finger behind her, shooting a mock scowl at Allura.

"Not one word, Princess."

* * *

 _Take One_

"Voltron is going to put an end to your empire," Allura snarled, furrowing her eyebrows at Zarkon.

Zarkon gave the smallest smirk. "No. It will only make me more powerful. Your father knew that as well as I. That's why led me to believelah…blah. Believelah."

 _Take Two_

"Your father knew that as well as I. That's why he led me to believe that he destroyed it all those years ago. But now your new Voltron will come for you and will deliver Paladin to…nope. Line?"

 _Take Three_

"But now your new paladins will come for you, and they will deliver Voltron to me, and with it, the…what the fuck. The key? Was that it? I hate this line."

* * *

"Why do I get the feeling these guys knew we were coming?" Keith muttered off screen.

Hunk groaned. "There's no end to these guys!"

On set, Coran smashed his finger down on a button on the panel, his face split in a grin. "CORAN ATTACK! I'VE WAITED TEN THOUSAND YEARS FOR THIS!"

The moment Alfor called cut, the actors burst into laughter, Keith and Hunk doubled over, Lance and Pidge clutching their stomachs, and Shiro with a hand to his mouth and a glimmer in his eyes. "Is it really necessary to have him shriek like that?" he managed to get out, glancing at Alfor.

Alfor smirked. "He does it on his own. Can't pin the screaming on me."

* * *

Shiro danced around Haggar's blasts and hits, his feet sliding on the floor and his chest heaving. He swung a kick at her head and missed, and her hand shot out. He ducked to avoid the to-be-added magic blast, and she moved to his other side.

Her hand lifted, and from the sleeve of her robe came yards and yards of rainbow colored silly string, blanketing Shiro in a goopy mess and leaving him agape on the floor. Aggie grinned and yanked down her hood in glee, high fiving Pidge as she came running up.

"That was PERFECT!" Pidge cried in delight.

"You put a silly string canon in her robe," Shiro said in disbelief, swiping some of the pink out of his hair.

"Yeah I did!"

She bounced off set and Aggie offered Shiro a hand, the smile still on her face. "Sorry. It was too good to pass up."

"Pidge doesn't know how to build a canon like that," Shiro said suspiciously.

Aggie smirked. "No. But Hunk does. He was in props for three years and mechanical engineering in school."

Shiro frowned in Pidge and Hunk's direction, the two of them now trying to calm down a very irked looking Alfor. "Can I get them back?"

Aggie snorted and clapped a clawed hand on his shoulder, her eyes twinkling behind her contacts. "Shiro, we both know your level of pay back is on par with putting pepper in someone's donut."

"It was one time!"

* * *

"Keith, do you copy?" Coran pleaded. "You don't know what you're dealing with! He's too powerful! Listen to me, it's imperative that you don't engage the-"

Keith switched off the comms and Coran gasped, disgusted. "You SWITCHED me OFF? Oh, no you DON'T, YOUNG MAN!"

"Coran. We're still rolling."

"GOOD."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Annnndddd cut! That's a wrap on season one, everybody!" Alfor shouted.

Cheers rang up around the room, applause from both cast and crew, and then everyone departed quietly, going to tear down sets and take off costumes.

Lance caught up to Keith as they walked back to their dressing rooms, hands in his pockets and some of his makeup running down his face from the sweat that had built up in the recording studio. "What are your plans for our month off?" he asked.

Keith shrugged. "Shiro and I are going home to Texas, probably going to hang out there for a bit before we come back for filming. You?"

Lance pondered for a moment. "I was going to go back home to Cuba, but Hunk asked if I wanted to travel with him to visit his moms in Michigan. Mom was cool with it, as long as I come home for our Christmas break that we get."

Keith gave him a warm smile, stopping outside of his dressing room. "You know they've been watching us?" he said, putting Lance between his mouth and the majority of the cast.

Lance rolled his eyes. "You'd have to be blind not to. Think they're betting on us like we are on Shallura?"

Keith snorted. "Pidge's list calls us 'Klance.'"

"How long do you think it'll take them to realize we started dating almost two weeks ago?"

Keith bit back a smile. "Not sure. Probably way longer, now that we won't be here with them for a month. Meet up in Tennessee for a week? There's a festival going on in a couple weeks from now that could be fun."

"Hell yeah. I'll tell Hunk I'm going to visit relatives."

Keith nodded at him. "I'd kiss you, but-"

"Don't want to ruin their betting pool."

"Exactly."

"Wait'll they find out the bonding moment was exactly that."

Keith waved and ducked into his changing room, thumping his head back against the door and allowing himself to grin and press his hands to his face as it grew warm. Next season couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

 **Hehehehehe. Klance had already happened.**

 **IMPORTANT MESSAGE**

 **I'm seriously struggling financially, so on my profile I have added a link to my ko-fi account. If you enjoy my writing and can spare a few dollars, I would really appreciate the help. I also have commissions open for any of the fandoms I'm in (also listed on my profile page), so if you're interested in that, you can PM me here or message me on my Tumblr (link under my profile, but the name is the same as it is here).**

 **Thanks guys so much in advance, and stay tuned for a bonus chapter some time in the middle of this week *winks***


	12. Between the Seasons

**Bonus Chapter! Set in between season one and two. Klance galore.**

 **enchantress99: MY BODY IS READY**

 **KoalaLover-ABC-123: Breathe my friend. Breathe. Prep yourself for more klance.**

 **The Best Guesst: Dude don't even worry about it. It's just there in case people can. I totally get the struggling part *rolls eyes***

 **Sage McGavin: Sorry, but I headcanon Pidge as ace/aro, so I don't really ship her with anyone. Also, I ship Hunk with Shay (they've already lowkey started dating in this story so idk why I'd do Pidge and Hunk)**

 **I don't own Voltron blah blah blah**

* * *

"I cannot believe you won me a stuffed seahorse and then you kept it for yourself," Keith said in disbelief, looking sideways at Lance.

Lance, carrying said stuffed seahorse, squished the glittery animal to his chest tighter and stuck his tongue out. "Excuse me, but _someone_ said that they didn't want to carry around a giant blue plushy for the rest of the night!"

Keith fought down his smile and shook his head, glancing over the fairgrounds with a tinted gaze. The sunglasses on his and Lance's faces were surprisingly helpful at concealing their identities, and so far no one had recognized them. Clark Kent was on to something.

"We've got another hour or so before it starts to shut down," Keith noted. "What do you-"

"Oh. My. God."

Keith looked at Lance, lifting an eyebrow. "What?"

He pointed, pressing his nose into the top of the seahorse. "Those kids. _Look_."

Keith followed his finger, eyebrows furrowing as he scanned the multitude of tweens that were lingering between rides. "Lance, I don't-"

His voice cut off as his eyes ran over familiar red and green jackets, an orange headband, nerd glasses, dyed white and black hair. "Oh my god."

"We _have_ to go talk to them," Lance declared, his voice giddy with excitement.

Keith pulled his stare away from the tweenage cosplayers, unable to keep his grin down. He had yet to see any kind of sign that people had actually enjoyed their first season, save for the screamers on Twitter and Tumblr, and so seeing cosplayers of every single one of them in a public area that wasn't even meant for cosplaying…it was satisfying, in a way. "What about keeping our cover?" he asked. "If they ask for pictures…the others…"

Lance pursed his lips. "Hunk doesn't have any social media but Facebook, and neither do Allura, Shiro, and Coran. I don't even think Aggie or Zee know _how_ to technology. Pidge, though…"

"Pidge has every social media account known to man."

They looked at one another. "Call her," Lance ordered.

Keith pulled out his phone while Lance kept an eye on the cosplayers, waiting impatiently until she picked up the phone. She was somewhere in North Carolina, Keith remembered, but she sounded sleepy when she answered. "Keith? What-?"

"I need your help," he interrupted.

There was a shuffling on the other end, presumably her sitting up, and then a confusion laced, "With what?"

"Lance and I are dating."

"WHAT?"

Keith held up a hand, despite knowing she couldn't see it. "Before you tell ANYONE and cash in on those bets we know you have going…would you rather help us prank them?"

It was a long shot, but Pidge was the queen of pranks, and Keith could almost _see_ the evil grin on her face when she answered. "How long?"

He smirked. "We've been dating for almost a month now. We actually snuck out to a festival in Tennessee."

"Oh my god."

"Anyway, we found a group of kids cosplaying as all of us, and we want to get a picture with them. Could you-?"

"Make sure no one in the cast and crew finds them? Oh, I am _so_ on it. But you're giving me all the details next time we talk, mister."

Keith chuckled. "Will do. Thanks, Pidge."

"Hunk is gonna kill me for not telling him."

They hung up and Keith slid his phone back into his pocket, taking Lance's hand and tugging him towards the kids. They dropped grips right before getting to them, not wanting to be hounded by the media if word of their relationship got out, and Lance spoke up first. "Those are great costumes guys!"

The one dressed as Shiro glanced over his group and gave a braces filled grin. "Thanks! It's a great show. Do you watch it?"

Lance and Keith both grinned widely. "You could uh…you could say that," Keith chuckled, pulling off his glasses. Lance mimicked him, and the kids completely lost it, shrieking and dancing around each other and slapping one another. It was fantastic.

They took several hundred photos, or at least that's what it felt like, and Lance gave his plush seahorse to the girl who was dressed as him.

As the group ran off to leave Lance and Keith to take pictures with their doppelgangers, the one dressed as Lance gave them a once over, bright blue eyes sparkling. "Are you guys like…dating?"

They froze, glancing at one another and then back to their minis, who were staring up at them hopefully. The girl dressed as Keith looked equally intrigued. "Um…yes?" Lance squeaked.

Keith smacked his arm with a hissed, _"Lance!"_

His counterpart threw up her hands. "It's okay! We won't tell." Her nose wrinkled. "My dad's on Broadway and no one ever leaves him and Mom alone. It's gross"

The other girl nodded so hard that her hair went slightly askew. "Besides," she said with a grin. "We can hold it over our friends that we know something about season two that they don't."

Lance chuckled. "I think you guys are too much like us," he admitted.

They took one last selfie, Lance and Keith squishing the girls between them, and then darted off with delighted waves. The actors slid their glasses back on and straightened up. "Think we're safe?" Keith asked.

Lance gnawed on his lower lip, tilting his head thoughtfully. "I think so," he admitted. "Kids that have famous parents are generally better at keeping secrets."

Keith chuckled and bumped Lance with his elbow. "Can't believe you gave away my sea horse."

"YOU DIDN'T WANT IT!"

* * *

After winning a red lion for Keith, based mainly on irony, and after Keith had won a blue one for Lance, they walked back to their hotel, fingers intertwined and lions swinging at their sides.

"Did you have fun?" Lance asked.

He sounded anxious, and it made Keith lift his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Lance shrugged, licking his lips and gazing down the street as the shops closed for the night. Street lights had started to flicker on above them, rendering their sunglasses more hindrance than help, but they left them on just in case. "We just…we never went on an actual date," he explained. "You know? We got coffee and then…we were just together. So I didn't…"

He trailed off and Keith squeezed his hand, pulling him to a halt. "Hey."

Lance peeked up at him over the edge of his sunglasses, anxiety warring in his eyes. Keith tugged him closer and lifted his arms, wrapping them around Lance's neck and letting the red lion dangle down his back. He pressed a gentle kiss to his nose, their glasses clicking together. "I'm happy. With…with my parents dying so young, and growing up tossed around…" he swallowed, using his shades to hide his gaze. "Shiro was about the most positive thing in my life up until we met. You know…like the whole group, during auditions, but especially you."

He gave a breathy laugh. "Do you remember the first time we ever performed together?"

Lance snorted, letting his hands rest on Keith's waist and rubbing small circles into his shirt. The blue lion swung from his fingers against his leg. "Yeah. We were busboy extras with two lines apiece. Some job."

Keith smiled. "Wasn't the best," he admitted, lifting his head. "But you were always so perky and happy and I admired you for that. No matter how many times we had to go late or come in early, you were just…there."

Lance was trying to hold back on the tears, Keith could tell, but he wasn't finished. "So this," he continued, moving a hand and gesturing between themselves, "is something I've wanted for…way longer than just Voltron."

A shuddering breath spilled from Lance's lips and he moved his hands, gently dragging Keith's sunglasses off before tugging off his own. One glance around to make sure they were well secluded in the darkness, and then he pressed forwards, kissing him hard and dragging a hand up through his hair, Keith's arms tightening around his neck and pulling him in.

"Me too," Lance managed to murmur between breaths. "I mean…about before Voltron."

Keith laughed and pushed him away, grabbing for his sunglasses and putting them back on. Lance did the same, offered his arm to Keith, and they walked arm in arm back to their hotel room.

* * *

"Okay, okay, so you _have_ to spill," Pidge squealed over Skype, her face lit with a grin and her hands forming a triangle over her mouth. "When did it…? I mean how…?"

Lance rolled his eyes, shifting the laptop so that he was in the shot a little more. "Pidge, chill. It was like…right after filming the bonding moment scene. We went out for coffee and it just…"

He shrugged and held up his and Keith's linked fingers, a smile tugging at his lips as Pidge squeaked and buried her face into her pillow. He sometimes forgot that she could act like a normal person, what with how sarcastic she was and how often she pulled pranks.

"But you can't tell anyone," Keith warned her. "We don't want the media getting ahold of this. We already discussed that with the kids, and they're chill with just keeping the pictures to themselves for now."

Pidge's eyebrows flew up. "You told a bunch of kids you were dating?"

Lance snorted. "No way. Just the two dressed as us, and so far they haven't spilled anything. We just asked the rest of the kids if they would keep the photos between them, because Hunk would kill me if he found out I wasn't visiting relatives."

"Shiro would have my ass for lying about the Mothman festival. It's not until September."

"Why is that even a _thing_?" Lance demanded.

Pidge chuckled and held up her hands, shaking her head. "Okay, okay. So filter through and keep everyone from finding out. Why don't you want anyone to know? I mean, the media I get; they're like evil vacuum cleaners that can't help but suck up everything in sight and taint it. But the crew?"

She trailed off, eyes studying the two of them closely. "No one's gonna care, if that's what you're worried about. I have bets from pretty much every single person that knows you on set."

"Nice to know everyone wants to place money on us," Lance chuckled. "That's not what we're worried about."

Keith shrugged. "At first it was kind of fun, to see how long it would take anyone to notice. And then it kind of turned into…"

He locked gazes with Lance, a faint smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. "Privacy, I think. Just…to be able to be around each other and not have everyone immediately assume we were making out and stuff."

Pidge nodded knowingly, looking a little guilty. "Sorry about that."

Lance waved a hand at her and the screen froze for a second. "No need to be. If we were uncomfortable with the idea, we wouldn't be betting on Shallura. And they wouldn't be betting on us."

He said it with a raised eyebrow and Pidge grinned. "Shiro put down fifty on you guys. Be happy."

"You know what'll make me happier?" Keith muttered, running a hand over his chin. "If we just keep going past everyone's placed date and make all of them lose. And then Lance or I gives a date to you, and we announce it on that day at the most random moment."

Pidge's grin turned evil. "Oh, I like that. So you guys get all the money everyone put down on you."

"We'll give you a third, of course," Lance said graciously. "For keeping it all a secret. And if you would like…come with us on outings so no one gets super suspicious."

"You have to pay for all my food."

"Done," they chorused.

* * *

 **The Mothman Festival is a real thing. I'm going this fall lol.**

 **I'm still taking commissions, and I have a link to my Ko-fi set up on my profile page if you can spare anything. I'd really appreciate it.**

 **(Also reviews. I love those too)**

 **Season Two coming this weekend! AND SEASON THREE THIS AUGUST WOOOOO**


	13. Across the Universe

**Season Two, Episode One: Across the Universe**

 **Sorry for not posting last weekend; I needed a breather on writing this while I did commissions. I love this story, but I'm not getting paid for it, so it doesn't take priority when I have commissions to work on. Also I didn't update yesterday cause I spent all day at Pride and then came home and crashed for ten hours. I'll be back to updating weekly now though!**

 **Mikihiko Tada: *whispers* I am so sorry**

 **Tinyteddies: If the murderer doesn't come to the funeral, then was anyone really murdered at all?**

 **Not a ton of klance in here, save for the last scene, and no shallura at all, and there won't be next chapter either because of how the group got split up in the show. Just fyi.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine.**

* * *

"Looks like there's no gravity here," Pidge noted, glancing around the nebula. "It's like a trash nebula of some kind."

"Just like your personality!"

"Lance!" Alfor scolded.

Bradley cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Sir, you did only give him a single line in this episode."

"Great. Just great."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Coran stepped out of wardrobe, dusting down his shirt and adjusting his mustache. "Five minutes 'til we roll," he noted to himself, swinging over to the snack table to grab a granola bar.

"Oh, 'scuse me Pidge," he said politely, reaching around the girl.

Her bagel plunked to the floor and he shot her a puzzled look, only to find her jaw hanging and eyes wide behind her glasses. "What? Do I have something on my face? Andy will be _pissed_ if I ruined his work."

"Coran…where are your sleeves?"

He glanced down at the outfit he was wearing. "Oh, this? It's for my 'younger self,'" he chuckled.

Before he could ask why she looked so startled Pidge was gone, bagel left on the floor. He grinned as her yelps of, "Guys! Coran is RIPPED!" rang through the halls.

* * *

Keith sighed in relief. "Shiro. You made it."

Shiro snorted and then winced, hand pressed tightly to his side. "It takes more than a glowing alien wound, a fall from the upper atmosphere, and crashing into a hard-ass surface at what I'm guessing is-"

"Cut! Shiro. You can't swear. DreamWorks will have our heads if you do."

"Oh, come on! I just fell out of the sky!"

* * *

Pidge froze, glancing to her right as glowing eyes flickered into existence in the bizarre looking cave next to her. "Who's there?" she demanded, backing up nervously.

After a moment, tiny little poof ball aliens drifted out of the darkness, and Pidge relaxed, a smile working its way up her face. "Aww. Hey little guys!"

One of the pink aliens sputtered to a halt, dying with a tiny whine, and as it plummeted to the floor it started emitting a dark colored smoke which quit the moment it shattered. Pidge blinked and then looked back towards Alfor, eyes wide. "I swear that wasn't me."

* * *

"You don't understand me at all!" Coran whined. "You have no idea what I'm going through! I'll be in my control area! Hmmph."

Allura rolled her eyes. "I can't manually enter coordinates," she noted, ignoring Coran. "But the castle will automatically lock onto the lion's whereabouts, if we can locate them." She tapped at the screen a bit and slumped. "It's not working! I'm unable to hone their location!"

Music started blasting over the speakers and the whole set froze as Rick Astley's _Never Gonna Give You Up_ drifted through the room. Coran and Allura were too busy laughing to stop it, and Alfor tossed a glare to the five younger actors. "Who switched the CD's?" he demanded.

All fingers pointed to Lance.

Lance flung his arms out to either side, thwacking Keith and Hunk in the chests. "I can only express myself through music!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Everyone, these are my boys, Finn and Theo," Coran said proudly, gesturing to the child at his side and the toddler that he had by the hand. "They'll be playing my younger selves!"

Finn regarded the group carefully, eyes calculating for a nine year old. "Which one of you is Pidge?" he asked.

Coran's face paled as Pidge raised her hand in confusion. Finn nodded like he had just solved a complicated puzzle. "Good. Dad says you like pranks."

A wicked grin slid up Pidge's cheeks and she shot a look at Coran. "Oh man, you're gonna regret that."

Coran looked like he wanted to beat his head on the wall. "I know."

* * *

"Let's check the Rift Monitoring Position Exiter…that wasn't right, was it?" Finn cut himself off, looking towards Alfor and his dads with a raised eyebrow.

"Probably better than Coran would have done," Allura said with a shrug.

Coran spluttered. "How RUDE!"

* * *

Pidge slid up alongside the trash dummies, adopting a dark expression. "My name is Keith," she whispered. "I'm so emo."

"Hey!"

She continued, ignoring him. "Shiro, you're our leader. What should we do?"

Her voice turned almost nasally. "We'll get through this if we work together! We're a team!"

Shiro winced. "Do I really sound like that?"

"Look at me! I'm Lance! Hey, is that a cute boy over there?"

"I don't even LOOK like that!"

"I don't feel good," Pidge whined at Hunk's statue. "The smell of this place makes me want to barf."

"It's a trash nebula!" Hunk protested. "Who wouldn't?!"

She pressed a hand to her chest, mimicking a snotty voice when she spoke again. "Paladin's, please!" Pidge pleaded. "We must defeat Zarkon!"

Before she could get to Coran's statue, Finn popped up behind it, a gleam in his eyes. "Blah blah blah, crazy words, MUSTACHE!" he yelped, grinning from ear to ear.

Pidge cackled, ruffling the boys hair and glancing back at the unamused Alfor. "What? We weren't filming yet anyway!"

"Why did we decide to do a Season Two again?" Alfor muttered.

* * *

Theo wrinkled his nose, staring at the monitor in front of him. "Let's check the Wift Exit Poston…pos…"

He humphed and looked up at Coran, pouting. "Its haaaarrrrddddd," the four year old whined, his fake mustache wiggling under his nose.

Coran chuckled and patted him on the head. "I know, bud. Just a couple lines. You don't have to if you don't want to, you know."

"I wanna!"

"He's still better than Coran," Allura teased.

"Alfor, I'm quitting."

"No you're not."

"Hmph. Fine."

* * *

"You'd have done the same for me," Keith said sincerely. "How's your wound?"

"My wound's great," Shiro muttered weakly. "It's getting bigger all the time."

"You're the worst."

"I know."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Thace approached Pidge hesitantly, tugging a jean jacket on over his t-shirt and looking around the two of them carefully. "Pidge, right?"

She glanced up from her book and gave him a grin. "Yeah. Thace? It's good to actually get to meet you. Welcome to the madness," she chuckled.

He smiled and took her outstretched hand, shaking it. "I look forward to working with you."

"Same. Now what's up?" she asked, sitting up and tossing the book aside.

A slow smile slid up his face. "I hear whisperings that there are betting pools between cast members. I wondered if you would be up to starting a new one?"

Pidge smirked. "Oh hell yeah. We have a couple different ones open for Shallura and Klance, what were you-?"

"A pool. On how long it takes the rest of the cast to figure out."

Pidge faltered, staring up at the grinning man in front of her. "Pardon?"

Thace's smile widened and he knelt so that he was closer, making sure no one was close enough to hear. "You'd have to be an idiot not to know that Keith and Lance are dating. I've only been here a week and I can tell. I say we make a pool for each person and when they'll figure it out."

Laughter bubbled from Pidge's lips. "You mean between the four of us?" she giggled, already waving Lance over.

Thace nodded, a delighted twinkle in his eyes. "Absolutely."

"This cast is beyond dense. I'm in."

* * *

 **Coran's kids names are his VA's kids names, and they voiced his younger selves in this episode. I thought it would be cute to put them in somehow, though not as much as I would have liked to.**

 **If you can afford to, I have a link set up on my profile page to buy me a coffee. I'm still struggling, so if you can help, it's much appreciated. If you can't though, don't worry about it.**

 **Inspiration for human Thace comes from kabuki-akuma on tumblr (side note to that: human Zee inspiration comes from iacediai on tumblr).**


	14. The Depths

**Season Two, Episode Two: The Depths**

 **None of the episode transcripts past "Across the Universe" are up on wiki yet, so bear with me, because I have to watch the episodes through and quote directly from them.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine. Klance at the end, and I'm probs gonna make up for the lack of shallura in the next chapter.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up," Lance said, waving his arms back and forth and starting to grin. "You mean we get to film _underwater_? With like…actual mermaids?"

Alfor scratched his chin, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Well…I don't know about actual, they're professionals, that's for sure…but yes, you and Hunk do get to film underwater. Not every scene, but some of them."

Lance whooped in delight and high fived Hunk, who was smiling brightly. "In your FACE, PIDGE!"

Pidge pouted. "Whatever. You'll just be floating around anyway, you can't even do lines and stuff. Right?"

Alfor grinned. "Actually…"

He waved a hand off stage and the costume director entered, wheeling in a cart. On top of the cart were Lance and Hunk's paladin suits, except…

"Is that…scuba gear?" Keith asked, squinting.

Alfor waved a hand in a so-so gesture. "Sort of. It's a wet suit with waterproof armor to go over top; the jetpacks are water propulsions, so you can move around more easily. It'll allow the two of you to exchange lines underwater. We have to broadcast the mermaids lines through speakers in the pool so that you can do yours appropriately. They recorded them all beforehand, so they'll just be mouthing along with them."

"Sweet!"

Pidge huffed and looked away. "This is totally unfair."

* * *

"I'm on reserve power," Hunk noted, side eyeing the camera with a sly grin. "I'm pretty much 'dead in the water.'"

Lance started to groan, and then burst into snickers and snorts. "That was _not_ your line," he chuckled.

"No, it was better."

* * *

"I'm just shocked that we hit a planet. I thought Pidge said that space was 90% empty?"

"Just like her head."

"You know I'm STILL ON SET, LANCE!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So the…bubble coral?" Lance asked suspiciously, flipping through the script that Keith was holding for him. He shifted in the water and looked up at Alfor. "We're not gonna die?"

Alfor chuckled and knelt between Keith and Pidge, who was holding Hunk's script. "Not at all. It's essentially the same thing as your helmets, just perfectly clear and round instead. The speakers and microphone are situated at the bottom."

"Oh, good," Hunk breathed. "Thanks for the script, Pidge."

She nodded and pulled back, and Lance slowly took his hand off of the laminated pages. Keith caught the look in his eyes one second too late, and was toppling into the water before he could even attempt to move back. "Ha!" Lance cried in delight. "Take that!"

Pidge snickered, and was promptly shoved in from behind by Shiro, who jumped in right after her with a whoop and a cannonball. Lance yelped as Keith pulled him under, and Hunk glanced at Alfor. "Sorry, sir."

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Honestly I expected nothing less."

* * *

"So, about us getting in contact with our friends," Hunk started, "how can you help us?"

Queen Luxia smiled at him. "Please, let's discuss that after the dance."

She started to shift out of her seat as Hunk stared at the dance, aiming for the wheeling platform to take her over to Hunk, and promptly flopped to the ground, silicon tail slapping at the tile behind her uselessly. "Great," she grumbled with a chuckle, as attendants darted from every side to help her. "I'm a regular fish outta water."

Hunk snorted and Lance groaned. "Not you too!"

* * *

"You were mind swished," Plaxum assured him. "But now we want to-"

"Kill me?" Lance yelped. "Think again!"

He activated the jets on his back and darted away, promptly slamming head first into one of the rock walls and sinking to the bottom of the pool, groaning. "Who decided it would be a good idea to tie my hands again?" he grumbled.

Alfor's voice came over the speakers. "My bad."

* * *

"Is everything all right?" Florona asked.

Hunk frowned. "I can't find Lance," he noted, before glancing down. "Also there's a hole in our wall."

There was silence for a moment before the actresses started giggling and Hunk cracked a grin. "Guys, seriously, it's hard enough to keep a straight face without you laughing at my lines like that."

Florona waved a hand in apology as Alfor's voice called out for them to start over.

* * *

"You can't remember, because you were under her control."

"Our theory," Blumpfump garbled, holding up a piece of laminated paper, "is the queen controls-"

Lance burst into laughter, holding his stomach and doubling over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he wheezed. "Just…who _drew_ that?"

"I did!" Hunk whined in protest behind the cameramen. "It's art!"

"We have…very different definitions of art, Hunk."

* * *

"Hunk, please!" Lance pleaded. "I don't wanna hurt you!"

Hunk scowled. "Must keep Queen safe and warm."

Lance kicked Hunk off and then dove through the water, aiming for the puffball fish with the antidote in it. Just as his fingers closed around it, Hunk slammed into him and sent both of them crashing to the floor, panting.

"Cut," Lance croaked, holding his stomach. "Geez, man, way to crush my ribs."

Hunk winced, drifting away and rubbing his chest where Lance had kicked him. "Sorry, man."

"Why aren't the stunt doubles doing this scene again?" Lance asked, glancing up towards the surface where he knew Alfor was watching.

"You two both insisted on doing this on your own, remember?"

"I regret everything."

* * *

"Perhaps it is time to rebuild our civilization and reach out to interstellar travelers once again," Queen Luxia declared. She pulled open the giant clamshell and instantly flipped back as the massive pearl inside of it plunked out.

Disco lights erupted from the pearl, turning the entire pool into a glowing rave. Lance shook his head in disbelief. "How is it even when we're underwater, Pidge still somehow manages to pull shit like this off?"

"Could be worse," Hunk said with a shrug.

"Don't jinx us, Hunk."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Lance, Pidge and Thace are ready to…what the _hell_ are you doing?" Keith asked as he entered the pool, jaw falling.

Lance glanced up from where he was helping Flo adjust the fins on his thighs and he wiggled, a delighted smile on his face. "Flo offered to let me use her tail!" he said with childlike glee. "We're like the same height, and about the same size, so it actually fits really well!"

The actress chuckled and slipped into the shallow end of the pool, putting her hands on her hips. "You ready to go?"

"Wait, wait, you're actually _swimming_ in it?" Keith protested.

Lance rolled into the water and popped up moments later, hair dangling in his face. "Um, hell yeah. My siblings and I used to have fabric tails at the house, so I kinda know how to work one. It's the only reason Flo let me wear it in the first place," he chuckled.

Florona rolled her eyes and straightened Lance out, giving him brief pointers on how to bend and twist. "Stay within the eight foot range," she warned him. "It'll be too hard to get to you if you go deeper and need help."

"Roger."

Keith kicked off his sandals and sat at the edge of the six foot marker, dipping his feet into the water and watching with a fond smile on his face as Lance dove, hips twisting and fingers pulling him through the water with shocking ease. Flo paddled over to him and leaned on her elbows next to his knees, legs kicking leisurely at the water. "How long you two been together?" she asked.

Keith nearly choked. "Pardon?" he squeaked.

Flo blushed. "Oh, sorry. I just thought…never mind."

Keith pursed his lips and glanced back at the door, tilting his head thoughtfully. "Guard the door for me?"

She shot him a confused look, one that transformed into an almost Pidge like level of evilness, and pulled herself from the pool without a word, moving to stand by the door and hold it shut while Keith took off his shirt and hopped into the water.

Lance popped up next to him, arms flinging around his hips, and pecked him on the cheek before giving Flo a happy wave. She wiggled her fingers back at him and Lance glanced up at Keith. "You got your shorts all wet," he noted.

"You're late for our trip to the mall with Thace and Pidge," Keith pointed out.

"Hey, man, living the dream."

He twisted onto his back, floating leisurely in the water with the tail fanned out below him, and Keith chuckled, leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "Same."

Without warning, he shoved Lance under and ducked away, laughing as the actor came back up spluttering. "Keith! You get your ASS BACK HERE!"

"Gotta catch me first!" he yelped, fumbling his way out of the pool and scooping his stuff into his arms, leaving Lance to curse him from the water.

He winked at Flo as he darted past her, high fived a whooping Pidge waiting outside, and sprinted, sopping wet, back to his changing room.

Lance was gonna murder him.

* * *

 **How could I do the mermaid episode and not have Lance trying on a tail? Also Pidge still remains my favorite little shit.**


	15. Shiro's Escape

**Season Two, Episode Three: Shiro's Escape**

 **Sorry for not updating last weekend. I've been having a rough week and a half-working non stop at camp, my aunt passed away, I had a friend visiting and two papers due, a commission, and I just could not work up the energy to write this. Also sorry it's short.**

 **Mikihiko Tada: Pidge burns are always the best burns.**

 **rainbowrider1290: I'm glad you're following now! And thanks!**

 **Any unfamiliar text is mine. Brogangst in here (light). Megan's responsible for it, so blame her.**

* * *

"Sometimes the healing process can cause involuntary brain wave reactions," Allura explained, gazing at Shiro sadly.

Hunk frowned. "He looks like he's having a bad dream."

Keith side eyed him with a concerned scowl. "He just got blasted by a space witch and mauled by giant lizards. What dream could be worse than that?"

"Anything with Lance in it," Shiro muttered from inside the pod.

"Hey!"

* * *

"I've planted a bomb to cover your escape," Ulaz hissed, glancing over his shoulder. "Get to a pod, now."

Shiro looked at the Galra helplessly. "Who are you?"

Ulaz paused dramatically, lips tightening. "I am…your father."

Shiro gasped in despair and flung an arm over his forehead. "Oh no! Allura will never love me now!"

The cast burst into laughter and Alfor shook his head. "Ulaz, what the heck?"

The man shrugged, both hands palm up in the air. "I felt dramatic."

"This is why we're killing you off," Pidge joked from off screen.

"Spoilers, Pidge!"

* * *

"Wait, what?" Lance asked in confusion.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Didn't you see how he stole the Black Lion right out from under Shiro? Or that he could do all that cool stuff with his Bayard? Shiro's Bayard? You know, the black one?"

"This feels like you're trying to hit the word count on an essay."

Keith flung his hands in the air and shot a look at Alfor. "That's what I said!"

* * *

"I mean, after all the Galra have done to you…they took…they…"

Keith faltered, his eyes flickering to Shiro's arm, and shook his head quickly. "I'm sorry, I…I need…"

He twisted and practically flew off the set, rubbing furiously at his eyes and leaving behind a stunned cast. Lance stepped forwards, about to go after him, but Shiro settled a hand on his shoulder, looking like he had just suddenly had the world dropped on his shoulders. "I got this, guys. Take five."

He shot a look at Alfor, who nodded, and Shiro sprinted after his brother, finding him curled up backstage where they kept the extra tables for snacks and drinks. Shiro squeezed in next to him silently, mimicking Keith's pose of his knees drawn up and arms around them. He stayed quiet a moment, listening to the other actor's gentle sniffles, and then nudged him with his elbow. "Hey. Not your fault, Keith. You know that."

Keith shook his head, furiously digging the heels of his hands into his eyes and smearing his makeup everywhere. Andy would kill him for that. "I know," he whimpered. "But it just…"

He cut himself off and leaned against Shiro heavily, head falling to his shoulder. "If I hadn't been in the car with you, you would've been fine," he whispered to the floor. "And they just throw it in the script so flippantly and I…"

"I know."

Keith shuddered and Shiro wrapped his arm around him tightly, rubbing his shoulder with a thumb soothingly. "Hey. I'd do it the same way a million times over. And you know it doesn't bother me being in the script. I'm okay with it. If I wasn't, it wouldn't be in there, you know Allura would make sure of that."

The younger actor's breath huffed out a laugh and Shiro squeezed his shoulder. "There he is. C'mon. You gotta go let Andy whoop your ass for screwing up his work."

That got a real laugh out of Keith, and he sat up, swiping the tears from his cheeks and ruining his makeup even more. He pushed to his feet, Shiro directly behind him, and they stepped back out into the main room together.

* * *

"I got him!" Pidge shrieked, slinging her Bayard around the masked intruder and digging her heels in. She was promptly ripped off her feet and sent flying down the hall with a yelp. "I don't got him!"

"He's dragging Pidge away!"

Ulaz rounded the corner too fast and Pidge slammed into the wall with a groan, flopping face first to the ground and dropping her Bayard. Ulaz stopped, pulling off his mask, and grinned down at her sheepishly. "Sorry, Pidge. Are you all right?"

She waved a hand in his general direction. "'m fine."

* * *

"Oh, Hunk failed the team guys!"

Hunk glared angrily at the ceiling but then his lips twitched up into a laugh, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he wheezed. "That was just…oh my god, his _accent_."

* * *

"You know I trust you Shiro," Keith said, glancing around the room. "But this doesn't feel right."

Lance scoffed. "And you know I hate to agree with Keith, but it's a big fat dildo for-"

His hands flung themselves up and over his lips so fast that it took everyone else a moment to process what he had said, and by the time everyone started cackling, Lance was bright red. "I didn't mean-!" he spluttered, face burning.

Pidge wiggled her eyebrows, gaze darting to Keith for the briefest second and finding that he was also suspiciously pink, and she grinned broadly. "Uh huh. Suuuurrrre you didn't."

Lance punched her shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise, but it didn't keep Pidge from making dildo jokes for the rest of the day.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Was everything all right with Keith earlier?" Allura asked softly, glancing back to where the actor was goofing around with Pidge, Hunk, and Lance.

Shiro hesitated, following Allura's gaze and ripping the crust off his sandwich absentmindedly. "It's…hard to explain. He'll be okay."

"It had to do with your arm, didn't it?"

He flinched and Allura pulled back, looking guilty. "Sorry," she said softly. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Shiro promised, reaching out and grasping her hand. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles for a moment, thinking. "Couple years after he came to live with us, we were on a drive…guy t-boned us on Keith's side and I threw myself so that he wouldn't get hurt. Doctors said he would have died if I hadn't done that."

He took a shaky breath and Allura's grip on him tightened reassuringly. "Keith has some nerve damage on his right shoulder, but nothing serious. He had a concussion and whiplash for a while after, and I…the damage was too bad, so it had to go," he explained, clenching his prosthetic. "Keith blames himself."

Allura hummed and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, giving him a soft smile. "Well, he's lucky to have you. We all are. And we're lucky Keith is here with us too."

Shiro glanced back at the group in time to see money exchanged between Pidge and Keith and his smile widened, a chuckle spilling from his lips. "Yeah. We definitely are."

* * *

 **Again, there's a link to my Ko-Fi on my profile. I'd really appreciate any donations.**


	16. Greening the Cube

**Season Two, Episode Four: Greening the Cube**

 **This chapter is mostly Pidge, cause that's...you know, who the main focus of the episode is on. Smatterings of Keith in here too. There was a weird glitch with Fanfiction earlier that wouldn't let me upload, otherwise this would have been up hours ago.**

 **Thanks to everyone for your support; my anxiety and depression have been kicking up recently because of some potential physical health problems, so I appreciate the kind comments. This fic is fun for me though, so even though it's hard to sit and focus a lot right now, I'm still planning to keep going on it. Probably will be an allusion to Lance's birthday in the next update!**

 **ThunderMist36: Thanks so much! I'm hoping to get a little more into Hunk's backstory in this particular au, especially now that we've seen a lot of Keith's, Shiro's, and Pidge's.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine. I don't own Voltron blurp a durp.**

* * *

"The tech on this ship never ceases to amaze me," Pidge sighed in delight. "It's so mathematically elegant. It's fit is a hundred times more fiction-friction…bleh. Bleh. What kind of sentence-?"

"Take seven."

* * *

"Oh, sorry Shiro," Lance said apologetically, a sheepish smile on his face. "I was trying to hit Keith."

A projectile cluster smacked him square in the face and Lance growled, snapping his eyes to the perpetrator. Keith chuckled. "Heh. Like that?"

He could practically _feel_ Shiro's sharp look of surprise, and his smile faltered as the asteroid fight commenced. The moment Alfor yelled cut, Shiro was on him, hands on his hips and a wry look in his eyes. "What was that?" he demanded.

"What was what?" Keith tried, rubbing at his helmet with a towel to get the fake slime off of the visor.

"'Like that,'" Shiro mimicked, a smile twitching at his lips.

Keith shrugged, nonchalant. "Just saying my lines. You should try it some time."

He pressed the towel into Shiro's chest and walked off, leaving his brother stammering in protest behind him.

* * *

"Did a Galra pilot the blue lion too?" Keith asked Coran.

Lance's door whooshed open and Lance stepped into the frame, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "Hey, why are you asking about my lion? How many lions do you-?"

The door whirred and promptly shut, flinging Lance into the wall with a yelp. The towel on his head toppled to the floor, leaving the actor squished between the frame of the door and the door itself. Keith promptly doubled over in laughter, Coran not far behind, though the older man took it upon himself to tug Lance out.

"I swear, Alfor, your tech is out to get me!"

Alfor shot a glare at the tech crew. "Where's the remote for the door?"

Every single person turned to look at Pidge.

* * *

 _Take One_

"Why do we need to get electricity from a potato?" Hunk inquired.

Pidge gave him a weird look. "What? No, no. I was able to crack the 'sporse code.' Heh. I ran the bioluminlesent…nope."

 _Take Two_

"What? No, no. I was able to crack the 'sporse code.' Heh. I ran the bioluminescent pattern through a variety of code-breaking sequences, including this homemade virtual Shuring machine….that wasn't it either."

 _Take Six_

"What? No, no. I was able to crack the 'sporse code.' Heh. I ran the bioluminescent pattern through a variety of code-breaking sequences, including this homemade virtual Turing machine. Of course, I had to make a few tweaks to the original design because, obviously, there have been several advancements since he designed it. Although you have to admit, Turing was a shining light in the world of science in an age when far too many were still-"

"Pidge," Keith snapped, making the girl yelp. "What does it say?"

She adjusted her glasses. "Oh yeah. 'Under attack. Galra. Help.' And then there are coordinates."

There was a brief pause, and then Pidge shook her head. "I had to say all of _that_ to get to the word "help?""

"Don't make us do another take," Alfor threatened.

"I'm good!"

* * *

"Of course, all commands need to come as binary coded messages," Ryner informed them.

Pidge frowned. "So, like this," she guessed, settling her hand on a tree. It glowed momentarily, and then powered down.

"Wow, Pidge. Great tree," Lance teased.

"It's supposed to be special effects, genius!"

"Does this mean I should start gardening?" Pidge asked nervously.

"Dude, everything you touch dies," Keith chuckled.

Pidge smirked. "Don't test your luck, Keith. I'm still the resident tech genius, remember? Shiro said so."

"It was just a line, don't get a big head about it."

"So you wouldn't mind handing over your phone, then?"

"…good luck with your flowerbeds."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Pidge, props can't find my bayard, have you…what are you doing?"

Pidge glanced up from the cactus she was tending to and gave Hunk a sheepish smile. "Uh…nothing."

"Are you actually starting a garden?"

"Just the ones I can't kill!" Pidge protested quickly, jumping from her sofa and holding her hands up. "And your bayard is by the water fountain. You left it there after Lance squirted you so you could chase him."

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Pidge."

He left the room, leaving Pidge to turn back to the cactus and poke at it carefully, a small smile on her face. "There we go, Geoffrey. Nice and snug."

"You named the cactus I gave you Geoffrey?"

"CORAN, GET OUT!"

* * *

"You're no king," Keith snarled.

He leapt forward, grabbing Lubos by the shirt and whirling him around. The momentum was too fast, however, and Lubos fell back onto Keith, knocking them both to the floor. Keith's sword skittered off screen and the two actors groaned.

Lubos huffed out a laugh and pushed himself up off the ground. "I am victorious!" he declared.

"Yeah yeah. Help me up, would ya, Lou?"

* * *

"I guess it's like Ryner said," Pidge mused with a shrug. "We're all made up of the same cosmic dust."

"So…that means we're all related," Keith murmured, glancing out the window and then back at the team. "This ship, those stars, the Olkari. Even the Galra."

Everyone fell silent, glancing towards Hunk, and the actor placed both cupped hands against the side of his head and brought them out with an explosion noise. At everyone's look, he threw his hands out. "I couldn't remember my line, okay? That seemed appropriate!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You're saying I can keep one of the cubes?" Pidge cried in delight, looking between the tech crew members.

They chuckled. "Go for it. No tormenting people, though."

Pidge plucked one from the box and cradled it to her chest, nodding. "Of course."

She bolted before they could change their minds, running into Hunk on the way and showing off the cube. "Wanna go annoy Alfor?" she asked, a grin a mile wide on her face.

Hunk shook his head. "Why are you so intent on being fired?"

"Makes life more interesting."

"Fair enough."

* * *

 **Fun fact: every single 'line screw up' blooper I've ever written has come from me saying the intended lines as fast as possible and writing my fuck-ups down as verbatim as I can. Try it some time, it's fun.**

 **Feel free to buy me a coffee if you enjoyed! The link is on my profile page, and I could really use the help!**


	17. Eye of the Storm

**Season Two, Episode Five: Eye of the Storm**

 **Whoop, sorry it's so late at night, my b. Since season three is this Friday (!) I'm probably going to upload another chapter Wednesday or Thursday in addition to the one next weekend, just as a little bonus while you wait in eagerness like me!**

 **ThunderMist36: Thank you, I really appreciate that.**

 **The Best Guesst: Lol nah I'm not that dedicated. Just how I hear myself mess up.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine. Ft. the return of Aggie and Zee. I missed them. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So…how exactly does this work again?" Keith asked in bewilderment, eyeing the devices that Pidge was strapping to Coran's feet. Alfor was watching them suspiciously from a distance. "They're not gonna like…blow up, right?"

Pidge scoffed, sitting back on her heels and shooting Keith a glare. "I might pull pranks, Keith, but I don't want anyone to get hurt. It'll just make it like…well essentially like he's on ice. You can ice skate, right Coran?"

"Yes ma'am."

"There we go. Try them out."

Coran stood cautiously, took a step, and promptly slid across the room and into the wall. Pidge hid a guffaw behind her hands while the rest of the cast winced. Coran gave them a weak thumbs up from the other side of the room, his voice muffled when he spoke. "They work!"

Alfor sighed deeply. "This is going to be a long episode."

* * *

"Pidge, where are those coordinates?" Allura asked.

"Mmm," Pidge whimpered, reaching a hand out. "Wait, hang on. I'm so tired, my brain's not working."

"Yeah, neither is mine," Lance groaned. He spotted the look on Pidge's face and instantly cut her off, eyes narrowing. "Not a WORD, Pidge. Not. A. Word."

Pidge grinned mischievously. "What?"

* * *

"Hello all!" Coran called cheerfully. "I've checked the engines!"

"That was fast," Pidge commented.

"Well I slipped right down-I mean, hurried down. Anyway, the good news is the Galra fighter did minimal damage. I flushed the turbine and it's fine. The bad news is, the teludav, or the wormyhollerer…woooorrrmmmhole. Worm hole. Wormholer. Right."

* * *

"Look, you stay on one side of the pool, and I'll stay on the other, and we'll be far, far away from each other. Very…far…away."

The elevator shuddered before Lance could answer, the lights flicking off instantly and leaving the two actors in total blackness.

"Can you spell sexual tension?" Hunk muttered to Pidge off screen. "God, put me down for five more."

"Hunk!" Alfor groaned as the cameraman shook his head. "The MICS."

"Shit. Sorry Alfor. Pidge, stop laughing."

* * *

"What is this stuff?" Pidge wondered. "Are you sure you're making food?"

"You're gonna try and tell me that these aren't cookies?" Hunk muttered. He picked one of them up and took a solid bite, instantly blanching and ripping the cookie out of his mouth. "WHO PUT SALT IN THESE?"

Off set, Lance and Aggie high fived.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Lance took one look at the elevator shaft set and shook his head. "Nope, nope, no, no, no, no, we're going to die."

Keith rolled his eyes and shifted the towel on his head. "We'll be fine, Lance. Just don't fuck up."

"Oh well now you've jinxed it."

* * *

 _Take One_

"It's right, then left!" Keith snapped. "You're off."

"You're off!" Lance retaliated. "And shoving too hard!"

Keith leaned back against him and promptly lost his balance, sending the two actors tumbling to the mat below in a heap. Both groaned and picked themselves up slowly, resituating the towels. "Jinx," Lance muttered, swatting Keith halfheartedly.

 _Take Three_

"I should be at the pool right now," Lance grumbled, hanging his head.

Keith huffed. "Would you quit whining?" His eyes lifted, scanning the interior, and he blinked as he noticed a hatch above them. "Huh? Look!"

He tilted his head back just as Lance lifted his up and they both smacked heads, instinctively reaching up with their hands to rub their scalps and losing their grips on one another. They were back on the floor in seconds, groaning into the mat.

"I hate this scene."

"Imagine what the fans are going to say about it," Keith muttered back.

Lance snorted, and within moments they were both cackling.

* * *

"Safety off."

"Safety? That's weird."

"Klanmuirl."

"Klan Mural."

The computer began beeping and Pidge frowned, glancing around. "Hm? Uh…what's that?"

The hologram began growling, lifting onto it's front paws in front of Pidge. "Klanmuirl."

"Klam…iral?"

The hologram roared directly into her face and Pidge shrieked, scrambling backwards over the floor. She spun and glared indignantly at Alfor, who had a twinkle in his eyes that she didn't like. "Alfor!"

He chuckled. "Sorry Pidge. I suppose I should have warned you."

"Ya think?"

* * *

"The turbine's up!" Coran informed them, slipping around the engine room. "Still working on the-ahhh!"

He fell to the ground, somersaulted, and spun rapidly on his head before flopping face first to the ground. When he glanced up, every actor was on their feet, watching him in concern. A wry grin slid from under his mustache. "Did I not mention I could break dance?"

"What the QUIZNAK!?"

* * *

"Until we figure out exactly how he's doing it," Shiro mused, "we should assume he could show up at any minute. So stay alert."

Everyone glanced over at Hunk, who was snoring, but after a full minute had passed and he hadn't said his line, Allura stepped over and poked him gently. The snoring continued and the actress clapped a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. "He's actually asleep," she informed everyone through her giggles.

Alfor shook his head in disbelief. "Incredible."

* * *

Zarkon smirked at the sight of the Altean ship in front of him, glancing to his army. "Send in the flushers, fight them out. When…I just said flushers, didn't I."

Aggie clapped him on the shoulder, her mouth set in a line to keep from laughing. "Sure did, buddy."

* * *

"Why haven't we wormholed yet?" Keith demanded.

Coran's anxious face appeared on screen. "Because we can't! We're missing several scaultrite lens stones! They've shattered! Gone! Don't exist! Sloven-day-ho!" he cried with a flourishing spin that sent everyone into a giggling fit. "Stop laughing! This is serious!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hold on, hold on, why am I the upside down one?" Lance demanded as one of the stunt coordinators helped him onto the ceiling of the set. "Haven't I fallen enough this episode?"

Alfor rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Because, Lance, you're the only one who has had gymnastics training in the group. Or are all those trophies and medals fake?"

Lance scoffed, indignant, and scrambled into place. " _Fake_? I'll show you!"

Alfor turned away, a satisfied smirk on his face.

* * *

"We were close, sire, but it appears they were able to make a full jump," Haggar informed the room.

Zarkon grunted. "There is no place in this universe beyond my visions reach. Time is on my side. Set a course for Voltron."

There was a long pause, and then Zee shook his head, glancing off set at Alfor. "Who WROTE that line? God, I think that was the most clichéd thing I've ever said."

Aggie shook her head. "It'll probably only get worse."

"God I hope not."

* * *

 **It gets worse Zee. So much cliche.**


	18. The Ark of Taujeer

**Season 2, Episode Six: The Ark of Taujeer.**

 **How about Season 3, huh? Holy shit. No worries, there won't be any spoilers here for a bit. Gotta finish this season first. Though I'm going to be posting "fixer uppers" (missing scenes we all wanted, conversations that should have happened, that stuff) on my AO3 account, TakingOverMidnight3482, so feel free to go read if you want.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine.**

* * *

"That's not possible!" Pidge protested.

Allura scoffed. "Why would that be so hard to believe?" she asked. "Zarkon's forces showed up on Arus only after I awoke."

Lance frowned. "She's got a point." He dipped into a bow, looking up and giving Allura a flirtatious grin. "I would absolutely travel across the galaxy to find you."

Allura clapped a hand over her mouth and snorted, dissolving into laughter as Lance continuously waggled his eyebrows at her. On his chair, Alfor sighed and pinched his forehead with his fingertips. "Allura, please."

"I am…so sorry."

* * *

"As it happens," Pidge explained, adjusting her glasses, "I took our list of recent Galra attacks and analyzed it for both commonalities and anomonalities…and _wow_ that was wrong."

"That wasn't even a word."

"I am very aware of that, Hunk, thank you."

* * *

Keith ducked behind the pod, watching curiously as Allura crossed the room, looking conspiratorially over her shoulder. Just as she started to climb into the pod, Keith stood up and lifted an eyebrow. "Princess, what are you doing here?"

Allura yelped and tumbled backwards, flailing into Keith's arms. They stared at one another for a beat before Allura furiously tried to fling herself from his grasp, failing before she could get up all the way and collapsing back against his forearm in defeat.

Keith bit his lip and set her down on her feet, a smile quivering on his lips, and Allura scoffed, waving a hand. "Go ahead and laugh, that was tremendously awful."

He didn't calm down for a solid five minutes.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"How come THEY get to go to the cool anti-gravity set and we don't?" Lance whined, watching as Allura and Keith slung their backpacks over their shoulders.

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Because, Lance, you don't have to film an entire scene that's supposed to be taking place in the middle of space. Besides, we finally got clearance to use this place. I want to see how it goes, and if it ends well, we can use it in the future. Listen to the assistant director while I'm gone, will you?"

Lance huffed but nodded, satisfied, and watched after the group as they left. Pidge nudged him, lifting an eyebrow, and Lance shrugged. "Allura's been…suspicious, I think."

Pidge gave him a cocky smile. "You're just afraid to lose the Allura bet to Thace."

"Am not!"

* * *

"That doesn't sound so bad," Hunk said hopefully, looking around at the decaying planet. "Beneath that old skin is a new, healthy layer, right?"

Pidge frowned. "No…no I think the next layer is acid."

"Lay off the drugs, Pidge."

"I will personally shave your head, Lance."

* * *

"I'm glad I don't have to wait here alone," Allura murmured, glancing sideways at Keith. "You understand, I could never live with myself if Zarkon was finding us because of me. I must know. We face such a dire threat from the Galra."

Keith grimaced, fingers tightening on the controls. He opened his mouth to respond, and the steering controls promptly ripped from the dashboard. He froze, jaw hanging, and slowly looked to Allura, who was cracking up in the passenger seat. "I swear to god I didn't mean to do that," he promised Alfor.

"Would someone please get the super glue? And Keith, lighten up on the controls. Yeesh."

* * *

"Won't the stitches get dissolved by the acid?" Shiro asked in concern.

Pidge frowned. "The stitches might hold longer if….they're frozen!"

"Isn't that convenient."

"Lance I swear."

"Okay but it is! It's so clichéd!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"All right, you guys can take five in the anti-gravity chamber," Alfor said, a smile on his face.

Allura and Keith pumped their fists and scrambled into the suits, hopping into the chamber without hesitation. "Man, if your dad wasn't the director, we would never have gotten to do this," Keith breathed with a laugh.

The breeze lifted around them and they drifted into the air with yelps of delight. Allura chuckled and flipped off the wall, giggling. "Don't get used to it," she warned him as they floated towards the top. Her voice was quieter than usual due to the noisiness of the chamber. "He's not always this chill."

"Man, Lance is gonna be so jealous," Keith snickered.

Allura shot him a look that froze his blood to the core, and something in her eyes glinted mischievously at his reaction. She leaned back against the ceiling, pressing her hands above her head to slip down until she and Keith were at the same level. She clasped his shoulders to keep steady and lifted an eyebrow. "Can I run something past you, Keith?"

He swallowed but nodded, noting that they were spinning lazily to the floor. "Uh…sure. Shoot."

Allura squinted at him, their feet touching down and the air shutting off. She seemed to study his face for a moment, and then shook her head, dropping her hands to her sides and regaining her balance. "Later."

She left the chamber, leaving Keith standing there in complete bewilderment.

* * *

"Keith, Allura, are you there?"

"We're here Coran," Allura answered instantly. "What is it?"

"Zarkon is definitely tracking us through either of you."

Allura and Keith paused, glancing at one another, and then back at the speaker in front of them. The silence went on, and suddenly Coran cursed. "He is definitely NOT! Dammit!"

"Are you sure we should come back?" Allura teased.

* * *

"Allura!" Keith yelped, spinning through the air. He grunted, activating his jet pack, and fumbled across the space. "Grab my hand!"

They clung to each other and Keith pulled Allura towards him too quickly, sending both of them spinning into the wall of the gravity chamber. They both groaned, clinging to their heads as they drifted apart.

"You both good?" Alfor asked over the speakers.

"Peachy."

* * *

"This is going far better than I anticipated," Morvok squealed. "We could actually capture Voltron! I could get transferred back to the grub! And they said I wasn't good enough to be in the grub!"

He paused, frowning as he noticed everyone laughing. "What did I-? Ohhhhhh. Fuck."

* * *

"Oh, if only there were another who could pilot the Red lion!" Coran moaned. He froze, and a determined grin curled across his face.

Moments later, he came charging out in his uniform, cape billowing behind him, and stared up at the Red lion. "Finally Alfor, I will walk in your footsteps! Oh Red lion! I am unworthy to be your paladin, but-would you lot stop laughing?-since you have chosen to bestow this honor upon me, Coran Hieronymous Wimbleton Smythe-what kind of _name_?-I humbly accept!"

The assistant director shook her head, drawing a shaky hand under her eyes to wipe up her tears. "Oh my god," she wheezed. "I can see what they mean about the screaming lines. How does Alfor keep a straight face?"

Bradley answered with a deadpan stare. "Years and years of practice, Donna."

* * *

"At least we learned that Zarkon isn't tracking us through you two," Lance noted, nodding between Allura and Keith.

"Plus, I learned that my lion can grow armor and extend it's claws like THAT. Ching! Which will come in handy if…like…uh…" Hunk frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. "Something about steak. Or maybe pizza."

Pidge groaned. "Aw, man, now I want pizza!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So Allura didn't say anything?" Lance asked, leaning against Keith's sofa and watching him brush and pull back his hair. "Like at all?"

Keith shrugged, turning around and leaning against his chair as he finished off his ponytail. "No," he admitted. "She looked like she was going to…but then she didn't."

Lance hummed and stood up, crossing the floor and slinging his arms around Keith's neck. He pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, smiling. "Whatever the case, I'm still pissed you guys got a chance at the anti-gravity thing. It must've been so cool"

"Wasn't really that great," Allura said from the doorway, a grin splitting her cheeks. Keith and Lance shrieked and leapt apart, nearly hitting the floor. "Keith shoved me into the wall like a hundred times."

Keith spluttered. "Wha-? I did NOT!"

Lance waved his hands back and forth in the air. "Wait wait, how long have you been standing there?"

Allura chuckled, stepping inside fully and shutting the door behind her. "Not long. I figured you wanted an explanation about earlier, and I wanted to see if I was completely right. Which…I was."

Keith relaxed a little, tilting his head. "Why didn't you say anything back in the chamber?" he asked, linking his pinky with Lance's hesitantly.

She shrugged. "Where everyone could hear? I don't know, clearly you both wanted to keep it a secret for some reason. I wasn't going to spoil that. Plus, Pidge was watching me for most of today…am I right to guess you all have your own bets going on for myself and Shiro?"

The couple grinned. "Oh, way more than that," Lance chuckled. "You just earned Thace twenty two bucks. Which I'm a little bitter about, but…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's nice not to have to hide from everyone."

Allura tilted her head at them and then pressed her hand to the doorknob, tossing them a wink. "Count me in on whatever you're betting on. And Shiro…oh, he'll definitely be last."

"That's what we said too," Keith said with a smirk. "And Allura?"

She lifted an eyebrow and the boys grinned sheepishly. "Thanks."

Allura saluted them with two fingers and left to find Pidge, hand already digging for her wallet.

* * *

 **Allura is fucking ready man. Also, I love writing the Coran screaming lines. They never get old.**

 **Reviews are lovely, and if you like my writing, consider buying me a coffee (link is on my profile page).**


	19. Space Mall

**Season 2, Episode Seven: Space Mall**

 **Sorry for not updating last weekend. I've been swamped with moving and writing commissions and lack of inspiration (this episode was surprisingly difficult for me to write; I was expecting it to be the easiest). Also sorry for the shorter length.**

 **RavenNightwing42: I'm not sure yet if I'll include Zaggar. I kind of want to see how Season 4 plays out first. It...felt kind of forced to me tbh. No season 3 spoilers as of right now, since we haven't even finished season 2 for this yet.**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are my own. School starts in two days and I'm not ready. Kill me now. I should throw myself into the eclipse.**

* * *

"Well, while Coran is picking up his lenses, I'll take you shopping for something sparkly," Lance said with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows at Allura.

Coran gasped in horror. "This isn't shopping! You're not wandering around saying 'What a lovely pink hat! This is so becoming!' NO. I can't allow Allura to get anywhere near those filthy, lowballing Unilu hoodlams!"

Allura stuck her lower lip out. "But I'd love something sparkly."

There was a beat where everyone stared at her, and then Coran turned to Alfor with pleading eyes. "How do you say NO to that?" he demanded, waving a hand at the woman's face.

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Years and years of practice."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"These are…the worst disguises," Keith declared, holding his up with a wrinkled nose.

Pidge tilted her head sideways. "At least yours doesn't look like a stereotypical anime character."

"How come Lance's doesn't look like a pack of rabid colorblind people ran through a goodwill with only two minutes to get clothing?" Hunk whined.

Lance squinted, adjusting the colored glasses on his face. "Speak for yourself, everything is orange."

"I will have you know I think you look very fashionable," Coran huffed, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. "I worked hard on those outfits!"

They all dropped their current article of clothing and stared at Coran, Lance's glasses slipping down his nose. "You mean you purposefully-"

Alfor's voice bellowed from the other room. "Would you four stop complaining and GET OUT HERE. WE HAVE A SCHEDULE TO KEEP."

"We won't forget this," Pidge warned Coran.

"Oh goody."

* * *

"Okay," Hunk muttered, glancing around the mall with wide eyes. "If I were a 10,000 year old wormhole lens, where would I-ack!"

His foot caught on the edge of the moving sidewalk and he toppled backwards into the two extras playing the aliens he was supposed to speak to, sending everyone to the floor in a heap of laughter. "You guys okay?" he wheezed.

They gave him a thumbs up and Hunk shot a fake glare towards Alfor. "Moving sidewalk? Seriously?"

"Yeah, probably should have rethought that with this cast."

* * *

"It slices, it dices, it kills, slaughters, and skins and constantly stays razor sharp! Loo-"

"IS THAT VINCE OFFER? ALFOR YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GETTING VINCE OFFER."

Alfor stared at Hunk in quiet bewilderment. "I…didn't know it would be that big of a deal."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"And…how exactly do you propose we get the mice to do a circus act?" the mouse trainer asked Alfor, their eyebrow raised.

"Uh…I was hoping you could train them."

"They're mice, Alfor."

"Well yes but-"

"Mice."

Alfor gave them a hopeful look and they sighed, dragging a hand down their face. "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Can you tell me where the…'other market' is?"

The Unilu girl stared at him. "The what?"

Coran tilted his head, an evil smirk on his face. "Well, some might call it the 'black market.'"

"Man it's no wonder you got ripped off," Lance piped up. "You are TERRIBLE at this."

"Lance!"

* * *

"So how much have we got?" Pidge asked anxiously, her pockets dangling with change.

Lance squinted. "Eleven hundred and ninety six GAC."

"We're so close," Pidge moaned. Her eyes locked on an alien across the fountain and she pointed. "Lance, look!"

"Already on it!"

Lance darted across the fountain, only to lose his footing on the slick tile and belly flop into the water with a yelp, completely soaking Pidge through. She shrieked and splashed him the moment he popped back up, and within seconds both of them were in an all-out water fight.

Alfor sighed. "Someone get them some dry clothes so we can reshoot that scene? And Lance, be careful when you run!"

"No promis-PIDGE. GIVE ME BACK MY GAC."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"We have to ride a _cow_?"

"It's a fake cow!" the props director assured them. "The one you ride, anyway. The other one is…completely real."

At the wall of blank stares he received, the props director held up his hands. "Listen, Alfor wanted it to be realistic."

"So he rented a cow," Pidge clarified.

"Correct."

Everyone turned to stare at Allura, who spread her hands in front of her body incredulously. "I have no idea man."

* * *

"How much have you got?"

"Oh, I have a handful of pocket lint."

"I'll take your first-born child."

"I might be able to throw in a used handkerchief."

"I could accept your left foot!"

Lance leaned over to Shiro off set, all of the actors ping-ponging back and forth between Coran and the Unilu actor. "And they're improv-ing this?" he hissed.

Shiro made a confused noise in the back of his throat. "Apparently Coran barters a lot."

"He's a very thrifty person," Allura agreed.

"Huh."

"Would you three STOP TALKING?"


	20. The Blade of Marmora

**Season 2, Episode 8: The Blade of Marmora.**

 **Sorry again for the sporadic updates; life should straighten out soon enough. Fair warning, there's more angst in here than normal. Teary Keith.**

 **The Best Guesst: If Allura doesn't get something sparkly by the end of the series, what was the fucking point of Voltron?**

 **Any unfamiliar lines are mine.**

* * *

"It's like when you try to nuke a frozen burrito in the microwave, and it comes out all scorching hot on the outside, but it's still frozen in the middle, right?" Hunk asked.

Lance groaned. "Now I'm hungry for lunch!"

Keith nodded sagely. "Me too."

"Keith!" Alfor cried in exasperation.

"What?! I didn't eat breakfast and a burrito sounds awesome!"

Alfor sighed, staring around at the group of actors looking at him pleadingly, and shook his head. "Take twenty," he grumbled.

"Woo!"

"Thanks, Alfor!"

"Love you Dad!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

* * *

"Keith's a hothead!" Lance snapped, glaring at Shiro. "He's probably going to shoot first and ask questions later, and they're not going to be ABLE TO answer his questions because they'll be DEAD!"

Shiro bit his lip, edges of his mouth quivering, and struggled to get his lines out. "We uh….heh…we haven't…"

Lance was grinning now, cheeks rosy, and Keith was hiding a laugh behind his hand. Shiro finally broke, doubling over and wheezing with laughter, waving a hand in apology at Alfor. "Who decided," he gasped, "to give _Lance_ the screaming lines?"

"Can't let Coran have all the fun," Lance chuckled.

* * *

"When we were stranded, I told you," Shiro reminded him. "If anything ever happens to me, I want you to lead Voltron."

Keith hesitated, an uncomfortable smile flickering over his face. "…but I'm the worst."

"Three words. That was all your line was. Three words."

"I'm SORRY!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You're doing ALL of your own stunts?" Lance hissed, trying to catch up to Keith as he strode away, having been trying to avoid this conversation. "Keith, I read the script! Those are difficult stunts, what the hell-?"

"I took seven years of gymnastics and nine of karate," Keith informed him coolly, not even side eyeing his boyfriend. "I'll be fine, Lance."

Lance lashed out and wrapped a hand around Keith's wrist, dragging him to a halt and pulling him around to face him. Keith started when he spotted the concern lacing Lance's face. "What if you're not?" Lance managed. "This isn't just getting thrown backwards onto mats or falling onto a green screen, these are maneuvers that, if you do them wrong, you break an ankle or a wrist or an arm."

Keith studied him for a moment, eyes softening, and reached out his free hand to cup Lance's cheek, watching as the actor pressed against his palm and shut his eyes. "I'll be okay, Lance," he promised, softer and more sincere this time. "And if I'm not, I give you permission to say 'I told you so.' Okay?"

Lance turned his head to kiss Keith's palm and then tugged away, nodding. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Just…be careful."

Keith squeezed Lance's hand and traced his thumb over his knuckles for a moment before they were all called back to set. "I will be."

* * *

"I'm not going anywhere," Keith snapped, glaring at Shiro and then at Kolivan. "I have to do this."

Kolivan tilted his head. "Antok, give the blade the boy."

He paused, eyebrows crinkling, and shook his head. "Nope. Very much not correct."

"Boy, I'll say."

"Shut up, Antok."

* * *

"I won't quit," Keith snarled.

The droid stepped aside. "Then the pain continues. You are not meant to go through that door."

"I told him that in Season fucking One," Lance muttered. "But does he listen? Noooooooo. Stupid Keith. Stupid parallels. Stupid-"

"Lance!"

"Sorry Alfor!"

* * *

"There's no way to get a read on their base," Pidge informed them. "Too much interference from the solar flares and the black holes."

"If we account for the gravitational lensing, maybe we can reduce the noiseerferance-wow. Wow that was wrong, wow."

"How did you get gravitational lensing and not interference?" Pidge asked, bewildered.

"Like I know!"

* * *

"Just give up the knife, Keith!" Shiro shouted, his eyebrows crinkling. "You're only thinking of yourself, as usual!"

Keith swallowed hard, taking a shaky step back. "I've made my choice," he whispered.

Shiro scowled. "Then you've chosen to be alone."

He turned to go and Keith's breathing quickened, fingers starting to tremble and chin beginning to quiver. Alfor sat up and waved a hand at the camera operators. "Cut, now," he ordered.

Shiro spun back the moment the cameras were off and darted forwards, pulling his brother into a firm hug and pressing his nose into his hair. The hug was returned shakily, and Alfor tossed a glance at the other actors, all off screen and watching Keith with concern. Lance's eyes drifted and landed on the director pleadingly, and Alfor nodded. "Take ten," he said, his voice hoarse as he watched the group swarm their fellow cast mate. "Take ten."

* * *

"Are you aware of any spies within our ranks?" Haggar asked, holding her clawed fingers out over Thace's face.

Thace remained calm. "No."

"Commander Thace, are you the one who solared the lowier bear-"

"Lowier bear, huh?" Thace asked with a grin.

Aggie rolled her eyes and poked his forehead. "Shut up, Thace."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Keith glanced up at the soft tap on his door, swiping at his eyes to find Alfor standing there. "Come in, sir," he murmured, turning back to his mirror and dabbing the rest of the makeup from his forehead.

Alfor stepped inside, shutting the door behind him and sinking down into the chair next to the vanity. "Are you all right?" he asked, his voice low.

Keith swallowed and nodded. "Yeah," he said, his voice shaky. "I will be."

Alfor clucked his tongue and ducked his head. "Please understand, I didn't mean to-"

"I know."

The man raised his gaze, studying the young man in front of him, and tilted his head thoughtfully. "You are aware that you can call for a break if you need to, right? This was a difficult episode to film for you, I know. I won't be mad in the future if you-any of you-need to breathe."

Keith nodded and offered the fatherly man a shaky smile. "Thank you, sir."

Alfor stood and reached out, squeezing Keith's shoulder and catching his eyes in the mirror. "And don't let your uh…your relationship get in the way of professionalism, son."

Keith turned an amusing shade of pink, his jaw dropping and his body twisting to look at Alfor. "What?"

Alfor gave him a warm smile and leaned over, pulling open the door and watching as Lance tumbled in from where he had been leaning against the outside of it. He yelped, face flushing, and stumbled backwards, hands up. "S-Sorry, sorry!" he squeaked. "I just wanted to check on Keith!"

A fond look slid over Keith's face and he tilted his chin down, eyes locked on the floor. "Thank you, Alfor."

Alfor nodded, patted Lance on the shoulder, and left the room without another word. Lance glanced back at Keith, jumping when he realized that his boyfriend was on top of him, but accepted the ferocious hug without complaining, arms twining around his lower back and head settling on his shoulder. "You okay?" he asked, kicking the door shut. "What was that all about?"

Keith hummed and his fingers curled in Lance's shirt. "Just um…checking on me. Wanted to make sure I was okay."

Lance pulled back, hands tightening on Keith's biceps. "Are you?"

His eyes drifted to the door and he nodded after a moment, tugging Lance back. "Yeah," he mumbled, letting his fingers tangle in Lance's hair. "Just…some things hit a little too close to home. And I'm…really sore."

"I won't say it."

"Thank you."

"…I told you so."

"Remind me again why I'm dating you?"

* * *

 **Dad Alfor is the best Alfor.**

 **The episode from season one Lance is referencing is Collection and Extraction (I think lol) when he is trying to get Keith to stay with him, Hunk, and Pidge while Allura and Shiro infiltrated the Galra.**


	21. The Belly of the Weblum

**Season Two, Episode 9: The Belly of the Weblum**

 **Hey guys, so sorry for such a long delay on this. My life has been really stressful this month, and I've had very little time to sit down and write for myself. I'** **m hoping to get back into a regular schedule (someone should tally how many times I've said that), but just a fair warning that updates might still be scattered for a bit. Updating now because I actually have the time lol.**

 **Big Dragon Rebel Girl: Probably won't do that, just because fics like that already exist, and I've yet to see anyone else do a blooper fic.**

 **Giving Keith some more angst, because I can. I don't own Voltron.**

* * *

 _Take One_

"So, what's the plan?" Hunk asked curiously.

Lance grinned from ear to ear. "The plan is amazing! First, we infect Zarkon's ship with a virus. Then, we make a largestra-wait."

 _Take Two_

"The plan is amazing! First, we infect Zarkon's ship with a virus. Then, we make an extra-large wormhole and lure Zarkon inside of it, zapping him a batrillion…zillion…quintillion. Blah. Miles."

 _Take Five_

"The plan is amazing! First, we infect Zarkon's ship with a virus. Then, we make an extra-large wormhole and lure Zarkon inside of it, zapping him a bajillion light-years away. Then, when he pops out on the other side, all like, "Why doesn't my ship work?" Voltron kicks his butt! Pew pew pew! Whomp whomp whomp! HUH! Hi YAH! I'LL FORM THE HEAD. That's what you say, Shiro. Yeah, yeah, yeah! We won for all time!"

He grinned at everyone, pleased with himself and the fact that everyone was cracking up, hands pressed to chests and cheeks rosy. "Was it something I said?" he chuckled.

Shiro shook his head, grin splitting his lips. "I do not sound like that," he protested with a laugh.

"I dunno, man," Pidge managed. "I think he got your bossiness pretty spot on."

"I resent that."

* * *

"So uh, how about a kiss for good luck?" Lance teased, leaning over and puckering his lips in Allura's direction.

Coran and Allura glanced at one another, unamused, and then Coran moved Platt silently to where Lance was waiting for his smooch. A muffled noise of confusion, and then a screech that was far too big for his body.

"ALFOR! YOU DIDN'T SAY I WOULD HAVE TO KISS ONE OF THE MICE! A LITTLE WARNING, PLEASE! No offense, Platt."

The mouse squeaked cheerfully.

* * *

"Everyone has a job to do, and this is ours," Keith said, shrugging.

Hunk frowned. "But I always get the worst jobs. Go to a Galra-occupied planet to get my lion. Go to a Lalra-goccupied…nope."

"I'm a Lalra now," Keith snickered.

"Shut up, man."

* * *

"How Galra are you?"

Keith squirmed uncomfortably, glancing away with steely frown on his face. "I don't know."

"Did the Blade of Marmora like, teach you the secret handshake or something?"

"No. No one said anything."

"The Blade of Marmora," Hunk mused. "They're real tight lipped, aren't they? I get that your society is secret, but is everything a secret?"

"Okay, look, it's bad enough that Allura hates me now," Keith spat, his voice quivering ever so slightly. "Can you just lay off?"

Hunk hesitated, glancing back at Keith and then around the set, which was empty save for the assistant director and the camera crew, the rest of the cast having moved to a separate location to film the following episode. "Can we like…take five?" he asked.

Donna tilted her head and waved a hand at the crew, leaving Hunk to swivel in the Yellow lion set and study Keith. "You good, dude?"

Keith frowned, his fingers tightening on the seat, and glanced away. "Yeah," he said softly. "A lot of the language between us in today's script is just…it's really similar to what a lot of people said about me when they found out I was gay. Just brings back some bad memories, is all."

Hunk clicked his tongue and reached up, squeezing Keith's arm gently. "Sorry, man. I'm not a fan of the language either. You know I totally don't think that though, right?"

Keith gave him a warm smile and shook his head. "I know, Hunk. Thanks."

"You good?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Cool. Now let's watch this dumb video, and then later we'll all go out for tacos."

"Sounds fair."

* * *

"No way. Is that Coran?" Hunk asked in amazement.

Keith stared, mouth fallen, at the image of Coran on the screen, a smile slipping it's way up his face. "Oh my god. Oh my _god_."

The two of them burst into laughter, the video playing on forgotten in the background until the Weblum appeared on screen. "Hey Coran! I'm off to eat some planets! There's one n-"

"IS THAT AGGY?"

"HOLY SHIT."

* * *

"Now, remember rule number one: stay away from it's face."

"Wait, that's rule number one?" Hunk panicked. "We BROKE rule number one!"

"Don't we always?" Keith grumbled.

Donna pressed two fingers to the bridge of her nose. "Keith, please. We only have half the day left."

"Sorry, Donna."

* * *

"I've analyzed the sentry that was destroyed just before the shields went down," the druid said calmly, turning away from the body.

Thace lifted an eyebrow. "The one that was killed by Prorok. I've already examined him."

"So you found the trace elements of luxite on the wound?" the druid asked. "It's a very rare metal. If we find you in possession of it…wait, hold on."

"Man, way to accuse me," Thace said in offense, pressing a hand to his chest in mock offense. "I have dedicated my whole life to this cause, and THIS is the thanks I-?"

"Oh my god, Thace, shut up."

* * *

"I gotta be able to count on you," Keith said softly, turning away. "Besides, no one knows an explosive digestive track like you."

Hunk's jaw fell, a grin crossing his face. "That was…the best ad lib. Donna, can we keep it? Pleeeeaasssse?"

Donna shook her head, smiling faintly. "If you can come up with a response back, go for it."

* * *

"Maybe they're good bacteria," Hunk pondered, shifting his arms around. "They like me! They're tickling me! Wait, that's not tickling!"

The robots promptly short circuited, shocking Hunk and spewing rainbow confetti everywhere, leaving the set a total wreck and forcing everyone to stop what they were doing. For a moment, they all just stared, and then Keith cursed, the smile on his face betraying his feelings. "Pidge," he snorted.

Donna groaned. "Of course. All right, take five while we clean up!"

"Don't worry," Hunk said with a shrug, picking up one of the robots and turning it in his hands to examine the way Pidge had loaded it. "I totally left a prank for her in our absence. I knew she'd do something like this."

Keith grinned and high fived him. "Perfect."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"This is Alexandria," Donna introduced, gesturing to the woman next to her. "She's going to be a guest star for this episode, and we're trying to get her to come back for future seasons."

Alexandria grinned and held out a hand, shaking with Keith and Hunk. "Acxa, please," she chuckled. "Alexandria is such an annoying name to have to spell out and say all the time."

Hunk lifted an eyebrow. "And Acxa isn't?" he inquired.

She shrugged. "Hey, gotta have a cool alien name, right? Especially if I'm staying."

Keith grinned. "Spoilers!"

"Spoilers my ass. Now where's the Weblum?"

* * *

"If we want that third stomach gland to secrete the ooze, I need to get farted out the Weblum's butt and attack the face, getting it to fire it's laser puke. For the sake of the universe, I'll provoke the beast! You two stay here and get that scaultrite!"

He paused, making sure that Donna had gotten the necessary footage, and then burst into giggles. "That was…the dumbest set of lines I've ever had to say."

"And you got through it in one take without laughing," Acxa said under her mask. "Impressive."

"I know, right?"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So, you up for joining us for tacos?" Keith asked Acxa as they walked back to the other set's building, the crew and Donna trailing behind them.

Acxa tilted her head thoughtfully, studying Keith. "Sounds like a plan. The place we're going have vegetarian options? I don't do meat, man."

"Oh totally," Hunk said, nodding his head vigorously. "Their tofu tacos? To die for!"

"Hunk would know. He's had everything on the menu. Weirdo."

"You have to try things before you can dis them, Keith!"

"I'm with Hunk on this one," Acxa chuckled, shaking her head and tossing her bangs aside. "As much as I don't like meat, I'm also not opposed to trying anything meat-free you feed to me. Who's paying?"

Hunk and Keith glanced at one another, and then back to the other building. "Shiro," they chorused.

Acxa snorted and shoved her hands in her pockets. Keith shot her a look, a smirk on his face. "You planning on coming back, then? At least for the free tacos?"

"Um, excuse you. I'm coming back _just_ for the free tacos."

* * *

 **Side note: the person who voices Haggar also voiced the Weblum in Coran's educational video. Just saying. And yay, Acxa!**

 **Again, sorry about the lack of updates. I'm trying.**


	22. Escape From Beta Traz

**Season Two, Episode 10: Escape From Beta-Traz**

 **RavenNightwing42: No plans to discontinue this as of right now; I try very hard not to discontinue my works, especially if they have a set end goal (in this case, the end of the series). Just been having a kind of crazy semester and don't have time to write anything, or the will sometimes lol.**

 **Langst ahoy! Also Pidge is the Worst (TM).**

 **I don't own Voltron, Season 4 made me cry, and Matt is a weeb. I can't wait to write him.**

* * *

"Be careful," Pidge warned. "You've only got one shot."

"Don't worry, Pidge," Lance said, a smirk on his face. "I'm an excellent shot."

"That's what Keith said," she muttered under her breath.

Lance shrieked and slapped Pidge against the arm repeatedly, squawking incoherently and chasing her around set. Shiro turned in confusion to Alfor, who was watching with a mildly amused look. "What did she even say?"

Alfor chuckled. "I have no idea."

* * *

"I've compiled the data from the Blue Lion's sonic scan and created this map. It appears the prison is comprised of three concre…concenter…con….centricccccccc-concentric!"

"Did you even study your lines?" Alfor asked in exasperation.

"She's got them written on the underside of her armor's computer."

"LANCE!"

* * *

"Oh wow, that's interesting."

"Good interesting?"

"The second level also has immobilizing foam."

"Oh, so bad interesting."

"I dunno about that, your bo-"

"Fifty dollars in on purple."

"Bad interesting."

Shiro glanced back at the crew again, eyebrows furrowed. "Am I missing something?"

They all shrugged helplessly.

* * *

Lance leaned out over the ledge, eyes narrowed as he reached out an arm, pointing his scanner in the direction of the warden. His boot slipped on the metal surface and Lance shrieked as he fell, landing solidly five feet below him on a bunch of mats, the wind knocked out of him. The warden lifted an eyebrow and looked down at him with an intrigued face.

"Got an intruder, do we?"

"I will kick you, Fred."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"This is Iqbal. He'll be playing Slav in the next few episodes, and hopefully we can get him to return in the future," Alfor said, a warning note in his voice. He gestured to the older man next to them, who waved cheerfully. "He won't be in the suit for the lines, mostly because he's not limber enough to climb Shiro like his stunt actor."

Alfor left the three with Iqbal, who looked at them and winked. "That's what he thinks. If you don't mind of course, Shiro."

Lance and Pidge whooped and Shiro chuckled, a grin slipping out onto his cheeks. He clasped Iqbal's hand and squeezed it, shaking his head. "You'll fit right in around here."

* * *

"Are you here to torture me?" Slav demanded.

Shiro blinked in surprise. "No, I'm here to rescue you. I'm a paladin of Voltron."

"Oh no, even worse! In 98 and 3/100s of a percent of realities with a prison break, I die! And your chances are even worse!"

"Promise?"

"Shiro! Stop being self-deprecating and let's go!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

"Oh, the Blue Lion! Why didn't you say so? Blue light has a frequency of fuckiiiinnnnnnnnn…..666 terahertz."

"That is….very wrong."

"Can we stop swearing please, Dreamworks will kill us!"

"Fuck Dreamworks!"

* * *

"There's a 12 percent chance I could slip. There are even realities in which I drown because in those realities I never learned TO SWIM!"

Shiro stifled a groan. "What about this reality? Did you learn to swim in this one?"

"I can't remember!" Slav shrieked. "There are infinite possibilities!"

"IT'S A TINY PUDDLE! WOULD YOU TWO STOP LAUGHING SO I CAN SAY MY LINES?"

Pidge waved a hand weakly at Shiro from off screen, completely out of breath. "I am…so sorry…I'm so happy this trend of screaming lines is continuing."

"It's even better when it's Shiro," Lance choked out, his face pink from laughing so hard.

"Truth."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Soooooo….we're working with a furry. Nice!"

"He's not a furry, Pidge."

"He's in a giant fluffy alien animal costume. And he offered to work the job for free."

"…you got me there."

* * *

"And I thought I was the team's sharpshooter. But I guess no one else thinks that. Maybe I don't have a thing," Lance murmured, lowering his gun.

"Yup."

"You don't have to agree so quickly!" Lance snapped, his brows furrowing. "They wouldn't keep me on the team if I didn't contribute in some way, would they?"

"Yup."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just…a fifth wheel. Seventh, if you count Coran and Allura. That's a horrible wheel to be."

"Yup."

"Cut! Nice, Lance! Everyone take ten and set up for Shiro's scene!"

Lance handed his gun off to a prop guy and tugged his helmet off, accepting the offered water bottle and swigging from it. He stared blankly at the floor for a second after finishing, until a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and he glanced down to see Pidge there, clinging to his hips. "Stop that," she ordered.

"What?"

She burrowed her face into his stomach and he settled an arm over her shoulders while she answered. "Stop embodying your character. I've known you since middle school, Lance. I know you. I know what you do. And I love you."

He huffed and tugged her close, fingers curling absently into the tufts of hair at the nape of her neck as tears prickled the corners of his eyes. "Thanks, Pidgeon. Love you too."

* * *

"You're not going anywhere. And neither is the lion," the Warden growled, his arms coming up. He promptly stumbled backwards and hit the floor with a grunt, legs waving in the air.

"Good there, Fred?" Pidge snickered.

Fred huffed and kicked in Pidge's general direction. "These arms are HEAVY, okay?"

* * *

"Once the Black Lion is recaptured, no one will stand against me. Have you made any further progress with my armor?"

Haggar frowned. "None of the tests have been successful. Each time the subject was killed."

"Well fuck."

"Zee!" Alfor whined.

"I forgot my line!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You know what amazes me?" Pidge mused as the three of them walked towards their dressing rooms, sipping on juice.

"What's that?" Shiro asked.

"I left a prank for Hunk and Keith…and nothing happened once while we were filming."

Shiro groaned. "Pidge, come on."

"What? Did you doubt I would?" she chuckled, stopping at her room and watching the other two move to theirs.

He huffed. "I guess not. But still."

Lance winked. "Don't jinx it, Pidgeotto. For all you know, Hunk'll come back and slam a pie in your face."

"Yeah right."

The door clicked open and Pidge was promptly doused in four gallons of corn syrup and then dusted with a heavy coat of glitter. She stood, mouth agape, and Lance and Shiro doubled over guffawing at her look. "Oh my god," Lance wheezed. "Oh that was such perfect timing!"

She turned towards them, eyes flashing. "Did you two know about this?"

They both flung their hands up. "No way," Shiro wheezed, his grin subsiding a little. "But that was… _your face._ "

"I'm gonna kill him. As soon as I get this craft herpes off of me."

* * *

 **Hunk is gonna die. RIP Hunk.**

 **I'm the worst at updates I apologize I'm trying to do better. My work schedule has been all over the place so...yeah. Also...Miraculous Season 2. I'm so fucking ready y'all.**

 **Also, Fred and Iqbal are the names of the VA's who play the Warden and Slav, respectively. Iqbal will be back.**


	23. Stayin Alive

**Season Two, Episode 11: Stayin' Alive.**

 **Look I am back at the normal update time! Yaaaayyyyy!**

 **Star-the-Writer: It's coming out now! The first three episodes are already up in Spanish and English (ick). I'm gonna enjoy those episodes.**

 **White Space Lion: Her prank occurred in chapter 20 lol.**

 **I'm planning on doing NaNo WriMo this year, so updates might be a little shorter than normal, but I'm gonna try to dedicate Sunday's from now on just to FtT. Encouragement is always welcome lol (it'll end up being klance, btw. The story I am planning to do).**

 **I don't own blah blah blah story time.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"The episode title is...Stayin' Alive."

"Yes, Lance. And I swear if I hear a single song reference throughout any of the recordings today, I will personally find a way to kill you in show and fire you."

"Geez, okay Alfor."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Have you heard from the other paladins?" Coran asked.

Allura frowned. "I had contact with Lance, Shiro, and Pidge a little bit ago. They've located Slav."

Coran tilted his head. "What about Hunk? And-and Keith?"

"No word from them yet."

The man twisted his mustache, a smug grin on his face. "I have no doubt my scientifically accurate instructional video was of great help."

Allura snorted, covering her mouth. "Great help my ass."

"Cut! Seriously, sweetie?"

"Sorry, Dad!"

"No you're not."

* * *

"You're right, Coran. We have allies. And that's what's going to defeat Zarkon."

"Break a leg on the Balmera, Princess."

"Coran! It's 'crack a squizzle!'"

"What the _fuck_ is a squizzle?"

* * *

"Princess…did Hunk accompany you?" Shay asked hopefully.

"Hunk's got a GIRLFRIEEEENNNNDDD!" Lance teased from off set.

Hunk smirked and crossed his arms, a smug grin on his face. "More than you got."

Lance spluttered in disbelief, ignoring Pidge and Allura, who were cracking up. Keith had covered his mouth with his hand, though that didn't hide the glint in his eyes, and Shiro was just grinning in amusement. "HUNK! I'm offended! This ladies and fellas man is irresistible."

Hunk patted his arm, nodding. "Keep telling yourself that, buddy."

"Rude."

* * *

"Haggar."

"What is it?" the woman spat.

The druid hesitated. "We found further evidence of the spy within our fleet. This encrypted chip was in the compound outum enhanglement….can we take that from the top?" he asked sheepishly.

"We're going to have to," Alfor groaned.

* * *

"We wish you could stay longer," the older Balmeran mourned. "I have made you stickercup stew for the sky road."

She handed it over just as the tentacles slithered out from inside the pot, and Allura blanched as she took the offered food. "Oh…thank you," she managed, glancing down at the item in disgust in time to get a face full of whipped cream.

There was total silence, and then Hunk whooped and flew across set to high-five Shay, who was grinning from ear to ear. Allura glared at her. "Et tu, Shay?"

"Sorry, Allura!" she giggled.

* * *

"Hunk, Keith, are you there?" Allura cried desperately. "Can you hear me?"

"Hunk and Keith here," Keith confirmed, before pausing and wrinkling his nose. In a nasally voice, he mocked, "Hello, Zuko here. Yeesh. Recycling lines, much?"

Alfor shrugged.

* * *

"You didn't say we'd be travelling by teludav!" Slav yelped.

Shiro snarled. "What's the problem? We're travelling by teludav! So just…count your hair follicles or fluff a pillow, or whatever you need to do to make sure we survive the wormhole trip IN THIS REALITY!"

Slav pressed his pointer fingers together, ignoring Pidge and Lance's snickering. "I was just going to point out that the teludav is a very efficient form of travel. Are you two done yet?"

Lance guffawed and slapped Pidge's arm, his cheeks red. "Never."

* * *

"Wait wait wait, I have to hold that thing off by myself?" Hunk yelped.

"You have Keith!"

"Well now I'm really gonna die!"

"Hey!"

* * *

Keith pressed close to the yellow lion's head and then jumped up towards the castle, grunting as the line that was supposed to pull him in abruptly halted and he was left dangling ten feet off the ground, legs squirming. "The one time we decide to use the ropes in like ten episodes," he muttered, kicking at the wall next to him.

"Sorry, Keith!" Alfor called, his voice apologetic. "Someone get him down?"

Lance hummed, glancing sideways at his boyfriend. "I dunno, sir. He's much less annoying up there."

"I can still drop stuff on you, Lance."

"Don't let him down."

* * *

"You realize once we defeat Zarkon, the universe won't need Voltron anymore," Shiro noted softly.

Lance blinked. "We can return to Earth."

"I can look for my family," Pidge murmured.

Keith pursed his lips, glancing down and furrowing his brows. "I guess I could look for mine."

Hunk huffed. "I can get a fucking calzone."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hey Hunk?"

Hunk glanced up from his dressing room mirror to find Shay and Lance in his doorway, grins on their faces. "What did you two do?"

Shay glanced at Lance, lifting an eyebrow, and Lance chuckled, shaking his head. "You wanna go on a double date and get a calzone?"

Hunk cheered and leapt from his chair, sprinting over to them and kissing Shay on the cheek before glancing at Lance and snorting. "Who's your date buddy? Pidge?"

Keith leaned in against the doorjamb, a smirk on his lips. "Me, asshole. You coming or what?"

"Okay, how much did you pay Keith?"

They grinned and turned to walk away, pinkies linked, and Hunk choked on his own saliva, whipping his head to look at Shay, who was covering her mouth and giggling. "They…when…how… _what_?"

She patted his arm gently. "Lance very much wanted to one up you, Hunk. I think he did it."

"Oh my fucking god."

"Is it that surprising?"

"I lost the bet! I'm out like sixty bucks!"

"Of course you are."

* * *

 **Okay so poll: regular episode next chapter, or Hunay and Klance double date chapter? It's up to you guys!**

 **So yeah pretty much the only main characters out of the loop now are Shiro and Coran. And the vast majority of the crew and all the side characters.**


	24. Date Night

**Date Night**

 **I know it's a tad late, and I apologize for not updating last weekend; I needed time to just relax after all the school work. Actually, this chapter is a break from writing a paper lol. Obviously this was the winner for what people most wanted.**

 **Uhhhhh it's way more angsty then some of you probably are expecting. Still cutesy, but there is angst. Also a cliffhanger, because I can. And because there is actual plot to this story!**

 **Regularly scheduled bloopers come back next chapter!**

* * *

"I'm sorry, what the _fuck_ do you mean you two have been dating for like three months?" Hunk demanded, leaning over the table and speaking in a harsh whisper.

Keith bit back a grin and glanced at Lance, who wasn't bothering to hide a single bit of his glee. Shay was giggling behind her hands. "Hunk. My dude. Please lower your voice. Don't need the paparazzi hounding us. Please and thank you."

He said it teasingly, but the underlying seriousness was there, and Hunk picked up on it. He leaned back a little and adjusted the glasses on his face before picking up his menu and squinting at it.

The diner that they were in was right down the street from where they filmed, and the staff was good about keeping their lunches and dinners there low-key. They were always seated in the farthest back booth, facing away from the door and hidden in the alcove with a fake palm tree blocking any prying eyes. Unless they came during a rush, the two tables that could still see their booth were left empty on purpose. No one bothered them but the staff, but Lance wasn't taking any chances.

"I'm sorry," Hunk mumbled. His fingers clenched a bit on the laminated cardboard and he put the pages down, pulling his glasses off and rubbing at his eyes with tired fingers. "I just…how could you not tell me?"

Lance wilted and glanced at Keith and Shay, who took the cue to put on their sunglasses and step outside via the fire exit in the corner, which had the alarm turned off whenever they came in so that they could come and go without being seen. The two of them stood in the shadows of the building, chit chatting while Lance leaned on his elbows and stared down at the table. He opened his mouth to speak, but Hunk cut him off.

"I mean…we've been friends since middle school. We did our first auditions together, Lance. I get it, you know, with the paparazzi and stuff. They're pieces of shit. But like…I thought I was your best friend. But Pidge knew, and Allura, and even Alfor, and you-"

"Hunk," Lance pleaded, his voice soft and eyes glinting. "It wasn't like that. I swear, if I had thought you'd be this upset, I would have told you first. I mean it."

Hunk glanced up, and Lance winced at the broken expression in his eyes. He reached across the table and covered Hunk's hand with one of his own, tilting his head. "Dude. You are my best friend. I promise you that. We just…we needed some privacy for a while." He glanced back over his shoulder to see Keith laughing at something Shay had said and a sad smile crossed his face. "We didn't know…we didn't know if we would work. And we didn't want to get everyone all hyped if it was for nothing."

Hunk nodded hesitantly, his fingers trembling under Lance's touch. "I get that," he admitted. "It was like that with me and Shay. But we made it official after only like three weeks, man. To our friends and crew, I mean. The media…that's another story. With you, I just…I don't get it."

Lance cringed and pulled his hands back, fingers twitching nervously as they curled around each other. "It's different," he murmured. "Because we're both…guys. People wouldn't think. They'd be too caught up in how…forward thinking or whatever the story is. They'd take us and chew us up and mold us into some stupid tale about bravery and spit it out into the media and that would be the end of it."

He caught his breath, startled to find that he was crying, and Hunk reached back out, clasping two warm hands over Lance's cold ones. "Guys and girls getting together in Hollywood happens every day. A gay relationship just doesn't. And I'm not ready for that kind of attention. Keith isn't either. So me telling you wasn't me not trusting you or anything, it wasn't even about the prank in the end. It was just…"

"You wanted the quiet," Hunk finished, his voice gentler.

Lance swallowed and nodded and Hunk bobbed his head once, lifting a hand to wave Keith and Shay back in. "I get it," he said, tone soft as the door opened. "I promise, man. And I'm happy for you guys."

Keith slid in next to Lance and glanced between the two of them for a moment, an eyebrow cocked in Hunk's direction. Hunk nodded and let go of Lance's hands, pulling back to let Keith's fingers intertwine with Lance's over the table. His thumb stroked Lance's skin gently and Hunk cleared his throat, picking up the menu again, a little sheepishly this time. "So…breakfast for dinner sound good to anyone else?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Shay squeaked, flipping open her menu. "Marcia makes the _best_ pancakes."

Lance managed a grin. "Waffles, you mean."

"Ew, no! Pancakes! They're so fluffy and buttery and warm! Waffles are just hard shells of nothing!"

"Excuse you, Shayla, waffles are pure perfection that hold butter and syrup in every bite. Plus, you can put pretty much anything in or on them."

"Um yeah, cause they need additions to be better. Pancakes are perfect on their own."

"You take that back!"

Hunk shot Keith a look, a smile struggling to emerge on his face. "Is this conversation for real?"

Keith just shrugged, rolling his eyes and flipping to the omelet section of the menu. "Lance is serious about his waffles."

"I'm an omelet guy myself."

Keith lifted a fist without looking and Hunk bumped it from across the table, the two of them tuning out the bickering sounds of their partners in favor of finding something to eat.

* * *

"So wait, Shiro is the only one who doesn't know?" Shay asked in disbelief, swirling her tooth-rottingly sweet concoction from the coffee shop in the mall around in consideration before taking a long swig.

Keith waved his hand in a so-so motion. "Well, him and Coran. And the side cast and crew. But Pidge is betting for Shiro last."

"Oh same," the other three chorused instantly, before dissolving into giggles. Keith grinned and sipped at his coffee.

Lance's pinky curled around his in a tender motion and Keith allowed his smile to delve into something more sincere. He'd been worried about his boyfriend when he had walked back into the diner and seen him in tears, but he'd perked up since then. Keith knew that he and Hunk would have to talk too at some point, but for now he was content with how things were.

He adjusted the sunglasses on his face and squinted up at the umbrella over them, protecting the group from the sun. "The date is coming up pretty soon."

"Which date?" Hunk asked.

Lance smirked. "The date we picked to announce us being a couple. You guys are out a lot of money, you know. Well, not you Shay. Thanks for being a decent human being."

Shay grinned and ticked her pointer finger off of her forehead. "Any time."

"You both suck," Hunk grumbled, glaring at his Frappuccino. "I can't believe you aren't giving me my money back."

"You were wrong anyway, man, you would have lost."

"I mean, you're right," Hunk conceded. "Doesn't mean I can't still be annoyed."

"Beginning of season 3, right?" Lance chuckled, nudging Keith.

Keith jolted from his thoughts, glancing over at Lance with a surprised look. "What? Oh…yeah, season 3. They're uh…they're splitting up the seasons, I heard."

Hunk hummed, pulling his straw from his drink with a squeaking shriek and licking the whipped cream off of it. "Yup. Something about appeasing the fans, I think. Don't sound so dejected," he chuckled. "Means more time off for us in between seasons once we finish this one."

Keith glanced at Shay, who was watching him carefully, and managed to shoot her a small smile. He caught Lance's sharp gaze as he looked away from her and took a burning gulp of coffee. "Should be nice," he finally said, shrugging. "Ready to relax at home."

Lance huffed. "As if. You're coming home to meet my parents, man. After we finish season three, I mean. Cause it's so short, so we don't really have to be here long, but then we get two full months off."

He whooped in delight and Keith tried for another smile before ducking his head and glancing at their still linked pinkies, his stomach sinking.

Lance was smart. He had to know something was up. And Keith had no idea how to tell him what it was.


	25. Best Laid Plans

**Season Two, Episode Twelve: Best Laid Plans.**

 **I am...so sorry. I am the worst. It's winter break now, so for the next week or so I'm going to try and catch up on updates and then go back to a regular update schedule again, seeing as finals are now officially over.**

 **I don't own Voltron.**

* * *

"Commander Thace," the Druid growled. "You have sent encrypted messages to outside forces. Of this, we are keenly aware."

The other Druid scowled. "Encryptions can be broken. Just. Like. You."

They hesitated, only to let out a low snort and then burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," they wheezed, waving a hand at Alfor and flipping off the laughing Thace. "It's just so clichéd."

* * *

"All right guys, listen up!" Shiro ordered, hands on his hips. "I'll use the black lion to lure Zarkon's fleet to our current location and make sure he's in the teludav's area of effect. Keeping the telelelluluv….nope."

* * *

"And then he'll be a sitting du-flax," Pidge declared, eyes glinting. Seeing everyone's looks, she spread her hands in defense. "What? A du-flax is an Altean creature with a beak and webbed feet."

"So it's a platypus."

"They have bills, Lance. Not beaks."

"Same difference."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Zee, what are we doing for-holy shit, you look terrible, what's wrong with you?" Aggie yelped.

Zee downed his cup of coffee in one go, bags under his eyes prevalent. "I've gotta look dead on my feet for our next scene. So I haven't slept in 39 hours to prepare."

Aggie stared at him for a long moment. "So what you're saying is…you're sleep deprived. And your reflexes are probably slow."

"Fuck yeah they are."

"Number one," Aggie said putting one fist on her hip. "Stop taking method acting to new levels. And number two, you took the last of my favorite donuts."

With that, she leaned over, plucked the strawberry frosted, sprinkled donut from Zee's hand, and bolted, screaming over her shoulder, "GET SOME SLEEP, FUCKER!"

Zee just sighed and refilled his coffee cup.

* * *

Keith frowned, moving his eyes away from Allura. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asked softly.

Allura pursed her lips, fists clenching at her sides. "I…I just wanted to say…the Galra…they've done some terrible things. Destroyed entire civilizations. They took my family….but in time, I've grown to consider you and the paladins my family. So when I learned you were Galra, I didn't know what to think. I wanted to hate you."

Keith swallowed, eyes stinging. "Allura, I-"

"But it's not you…it's me. My anger has blinded me for so long."

She surged forwards, curling Keith into a hug and accidentally slamming her forearm into his neck. He gasped, doubling back and bending at the waist, wheezing for breath. Allura's hands flew to her mouth. "Oh my goodness, are you all right?"

Keith held up a finger, free hand clinging to his knee. "Peachy," he choked out.

* * *

"This is getting hairy," Lance growled. He frowned, lifting his eyes. "How you doing, Keith?"

Keith grunted. "The Galra switched the codes. We're trying a work around."

"We?" Lance asked, surprised. "Who's we?"

Thace flung an arm dramatically around Keith's shoulders, nearly dragging the other man to the ground as he leaned backwards. "Me! Thace! Keith's soulmate!"

"Thace, you're married."

"I forsake her!"

Alfor sighed. "What is wrong with you people?"

* * *

"It was an honor to meet you," Keith said sincerely.

Thace gave him a grim smile. "Go. Now!"

Keith leapt off the landing and landed flat on his butt four feet below on the safety mat, glancing back up at Thace. Thace peered down at him, a gleeful look on his face. "Remember…who you are…" he said, voice low.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So…this is your official last day then?" Keith asked, watching as Thace picked up his dressing room.

Thace shrugged, shouldering his bag and swiping at a bit of purple makeup on his skin. "As of right now. I mean, I am dead. I'm not sure that they _can_ have me back," he chuckled. "Not that I'd be opposed, of course."

He glanced up at Keith, lifting an eyebrow. "And you? Something on your mind?"

Keith shifted a little, rubbing his arm. "Um…yeah, actually. If you have a second, I'd like to talk to you. Lobby? Everyone's doors are open."

Thace softened. "Yeah, absolutely. One sec."

He gathered up the rest of his things and followed Keith out the door, their steps soft as they walked through the halls towards the main lobby of the building. "So," Thace mused as they drew closer. "What's on your-?"

"SURPRISE!"

Thace jolted, eyes widening as he took in the cast and crew gathered together, balloons and snacks and decorations everywhere. He looked between them and Keith for a long moment before he shook his head, a soft smile crossing his face and a sparkle in his eyes. "You're the worst," he declared.

Keith grinned. "Nah."

"You guys didn't have to do all this for me," Thace protested as the main cast crossed over.

"Dude," Pidge chuckled. "You died."

"Touché."

* * *

 **I'm going to be posting that story that I was working on for NaNoWriMo probably by Christmas. Just as a brief synapsis, it's a Criminal Voltron AU, but more of a Robin Hood esque criminal au. Slowburn Klance, shallura, hunay, the works. I'm...kinda really excited for it? And I'll let y'all know when I post it.**

 **Reviews?**


	26. Blackout

**Season Two, Episode Thirteen: Blackout**

 **Sorry for the shortness of this one; because so much of the episode is action oriented, it's hard to come up with different bloopers. Action-y episodes like this will always be fairly short.**

 **I don't own Voltron. Merry Christmas to my followers who celebrate!**

* * *

"Our ship may be without power, but we are not," Haggar reminded Zarkon. "I can use the komar to draw the quintessence directly from Voltron, rendering him lifeless."

Zarkon huffed. "It's time I face Voltron myself."

"No, lord! It's certain death!"

"Today, Shiro will be mine."

There was an awkward silence, and then Shiro held up Allura's hand from across set. "Taken, buddy!"

"Curses!"

* * *

"That blast was not from the ship's weapons," Allura noted, her eyebrows heavy with worry. "It was magic."

Kolivan scowled. "It must have been the komar. Zarkon has been trying to develop a device to extract the quint-whatever from planets. It appears he succeeded."

"Cut! Really, Kole?"

"Oh, so Keith is the only one who gets to call it that?"

"Yes!"

* * *

"Listen to me," Allura said, her voice filled with determination. "You are true paladins now. Connect with your lions, reach out to each other! Fight! This cannot end now! Fire!"

She screamed at the top of her lungs, toppling backwards as was required of her, and the scream dribbled off into a strangled squawk.

"Who put the mats on the OTHER SIDE of the PODIUM?"

* * *

"I'm not giving up that fight," Shiro said, glaring into the camera. "Are you, Hunk?"

"No."

"Pidge?"

"Never!"

"Lance?"

"Shiro, we're going down swinging."

"…was that a Fall Out Boy reference?"

"You mean that's not what my line was to begin with?"

* * *

Coran groaned, waking up and glancing around to see that he was floating in mid-air. "Oh…huh?" He looked up to see Allura floating nearby and grunted. "Princess!"

He kicked his legs in an attempt to swim forward through the air, but he didn't move, the rope holding him up creaking ominously until he stopped moving. He sighed and slumped, head dangling. "Will somebody help me?"

* * *

Antok swirled, stabbing at the druids around him fluidly and never missing a beat. His tail swished around his ankles, and on one particular swing, his heel caught against it. He stumbled, hit the ground, and ripped the stitching from the back of his suit.

The cast froze, and Allura lifted her eyebrows. "Antok! I can't believe you sew on your own body parts."

"Yeah, I'm a zombie. Fun fact."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Congratulations on completing season 2 everyone!" Alfor cheered, clapping his hands. "Everyone take ten, and then we'll go over last minute things before we leave."

The crew dispersed for drinks and snacks and Keith wiped a hand over his sweaty forehead, glancing sideways at Lance with a raised eyebrow. The young adult shook his head ever so slightly, nodding to Coran, and then looked to Shiro. "So what are you doing on your leave?" he asked.

Shiro rolled his shoulders. "Going for some physical therapy he said, lifting his prosthetic into the air. "Maybe get a haircut. Go visit my grandparents. Sleep. A lot."

The group chuckled and Pidge punched Shiro lightly on the arm. "Yeah, well…we're gonna miss you. They're putting Keith in charge," she said, wrinkling her nose.

Keith flipped her off good naturedly before looking at his brother. "Yeah," he admitted. "It's not going to be the same without you here."

Shiro lifted a hand and squeezed his shoulder. "You guys'll be fine. I'll be back before the season is over. It's ridiculously short anyway."

"Still," Hunk countered. "We're gonna miss your leadership."

Shiro scoffed. "What leadership?"

With that, he spun on Allura, whipped out his black bayard prop, and shot a burst of colorful silly string out at his girlfriend. She froze in surprise for only a moment before an evil grin slid across her face and she dove at him, pulling silly string from her own costume to slam it back in his face.

Mere moments passed before Pidge was tossing out more cans of silly string (that no one really wanted to know where she got them from) and a full out war was going.

Alfor watched from a safe distance, shaking his head and smiling.

Say what you wanted about his cast; they were never boring.

* * *

 **Fin for Season Two. Finally.**

 **Putting out my newest story, Run the Night, later tonight. It's my Voltron Criminal AU (and by Criminals, they're basically Robin Hood). Synopsis:**

 **Voltron hasn't been seen in nearly ten years. The Galra have taken control of the city of Altea. When Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are caught on a late night escapade to search for Pidge's missing father and brother by none other than the Princess herself, they join forces in the hopes of re-making Voltron, saving the city from the Galra underground, and putting an end to Zarkon's gang once and for all. To do so requires intelligence, stealth, and a fair amount of pick pocketing. All of which this group has, and then some.**

 **See y'all later, bye!**


	27. Between the Seasons Part Two

**Between the Seasons Part Two**

 **Very short chapter, a filler, really, but it'll give you some answers as to what Keith was talking about.**

* * *

"So you and Allura are like, officially a thing now, right?" Keith asked, pouring himself a cup of black coffee and downing half of it in one swig.

Shiro wrinkled his nose as he watched him before turning back to the pancakes on the stove. "I don't know how you drink that shit by itself. And yes. We are. When are you going to work up the nerves to ask Lance out?"

Keith choked on his coffee, slopping it down the front of his shirt and swiping his forearm over his mouth desperately while Shiro watched, eyes twinkling. "Not cool," he rasped, flipping him the finger.

"Oh come on," Shiro teased, waving the spatula at him. "I've caught you eyeing him more than once. If I can ask Allura out-"

"Didn't she ask you out?"

"-THEN you can totally ask out Lance."

Keith scowled and shrugged his wet shirt off, chucking it into the laundry room without looking. He hunched forwards on the counter, bracing himself with the palms of his hands and sighing. "I…I can't, Shiro. You know I'm leaving."

Shiro scoffed. "Yeah, for like, a two weeks."

His voice softened and he turned off the stove, stepping over to Keith and leaning on his elbows, taking his brother's hands in his. "Dude. He'll understand. They all will. Hell, I'm leaving for a month, and everyone is already planning my funeral. Two weeks is nothing."

Keith pursed his lips and looked away, eyes watering. "Yeah, but…"

"Hey. No buts buddy. You finally got a lead on your mom. That's worth it, man. You know that. I know that. Alfor knows it, that's why he said yes. You have to take this opportunity."

Keith's chin trembled and Shiro cursed, stepping around the island to drag his brother into a hug, fingers threading into the locks of hair curling at the nape of his neck. Keith clung to his back like a child, nails clutching at his t-shirt and nose pressed tight to his shoulder. "You still have season three filming," Shiro reminded him, voice low. "Tell them. Tell _him._ "

Keith shuddered and nodded and Shiro tightened his grip, subconsciously rocking a little in place and humming at the back of his throat, the smell of slightly burnt pancakes filling the air.


	28. Changing of the Guards

**Season 3, Episode One: Changing of the Guards**

 **Once more, sorry about slow updates. School has been having...problems, to say the least, regarding sexual assault, so that's been kind of the forefront thing in my mind. Also, Season 3 doesn't have full transcripts up online, so it takes longer to get these down. Hopefully the rest of the transcripts are put up soon.**

 **Star-the-Writer: Panels? Like Comic Con panels?**

 **The Best Guesst: I didn't actually think of doing the vlogs, but now that it's mentioned, I suppose I could, if I'm in need of a filler chapter. Thanks!**

 **Don't own Voltron, blah blah blah, can we have Season 5 already?**

* * *

"I'm worried it smells a bit musty," Allura admitted to Coran, glancing down at her formal wear gown. "It's been a while since I've had to look presentable."

Coran hummed. "The Kerberosions just declared independence after-that wasn't right, was it?"

"Kerberos was the mission Matt and Sam were on," Alfor corrected him. "You want Cubserions."

"Same difference."

"It's really not."

* * *

"Lance, I think we just passed the drop zone," Hunk read off screen.

Lance huffed. "We're under heavy fire, there's no way we can stop here. Kolivan, any ideas?"

"Open the hatch. We'll take it from here. Go, go, go!"

On set, the Galra extras leapt off of their platform, free falling for about fifteen feet onto a mat and then rolling off and away. Kolivan was the last to go, and instead of getting up after he fell, he just laid face down in the air bag.

"Cut! Kole, you all right?"

Kole held up a thumb. "Dandy. Just going to lie here until I die."

Pidge grinned. "Dog pile on Kole!"

Kole squawked. "No, wait, do-ack!"

* * *

"Hunk, you got a fighter on your six!" Lance shouted.

"Yeah, and I'm about to teach this sentry a lesson about TAILGATING!"

There was a brief pause, and then Hunk snickered. "Heh. Tailgating. I'm in a lion."

"Seriously?"

"Come on, man!"

"You had ONE LINE!"

* * *

"You know," Hunk mused, sauntering over to Kolivan and Lance, "based on our recent battles, it seems like the Galra Empire is kinda just falling apart."

"Just like my sanity," Kolivan muttered.

"Cut! Seriously, Kole?"

"Sorry, Alfor."

* * *

 _Take One_

"I talked to some members of the desert tribe on Planet Themescira – nope. Wrong franchise."

 _Take Four_

"I talked to some members of the desert tribe on Planet Kythra who have these same, large feathered ears."

"Fucking FURRIESSSSS," Lance shouted from off set.

"LET ME SAY MY LINE YOU ASS."

 _Take Six_

"I talked to some members of the desert tribe on Planet Kythra who have these same, large feathered ears. They're not friendly to Zarkon, but they couldn't help me identify the person in the footage. So that's a dead end. Now, these flappy, loosy, pant thingies – really? That's my line? I'm the smartest person in the show, and _that's_ my line?"

"Now you know how I feel," Hunk muttered.

"Touché."

* * *

"Lotor has arrived at headquarters at Zarkon's request to take command of the empire," Haggar growled. "Under Zarkon's guidance, of course."

Throk blinked in surprise. "Lotor? Why is he not at his father's bedside?"

Haggar scowled. "Zarkon needs no one by his bedside, least of all you!"

"Yeesh," Throk muttered once the camera had panned off. "Rude."

"Throk! The mics can still pick you up!"

"Fuck."

* * *

"The people you see before you are the Paladins of Voltron," Allura said proudly. As she spoke, the camera panned over each of them.

Hunk gave a tiny wave, a small smile on his face. Keith kept his arms crossed, eyes on the table, and Pidge flipped off the camera without hesitation.

"CUT! Pidge, come ooonnnn," Alfor whined.

Pidge grinned. "Come on, I couldn't resist."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Annnddd this is your dressing room!" Lance declared, swinging an arm out and gesturing to Lotor's new space. "I'm two doors down if you need anything, and Pidge is right next door to you. She's kinda loud when she's listening to music – likes to sing and all that jazz...heh. B-But yeah, if you need help finding something, or if you want to know about the food around here, or-"

"Lance," Lotor cut off with a chuckle, shaking his head. "I'll be fine. Thanks, though. I appreciate it. And my friends call me Logan. Lotor is just my stage name. It sounds 'fancier,'" he said with a sneer, nose wrinkled.

Lance grinned. "Will do, Logan. Dude, gotta say, love the hair. Is it actually that color?"

Logan rolled his eyes and plucked at a loose strand that was dangling from his ponytail, eyeing the pearly white color. "No way. Dyed for the show."

"Fair enough. Boy, wait'll you put on the makeup. Zee HATES it, apparently it's super itchy."

"Ah yes, my on-screen father. Where is he?"

Lance tisked and watched as Logan dropped his bag into the dressing room before leading him to the food. "Zee's on medical leave – his wife is in labor. Perfect timing, really, since he doesn't need to actually be here for filming."

Logan grinned. "Nice! Now where's the rest of the cast?"

Lance held open the door as they stepped into the main lobby and glanced over the room, smile getting wider as he spotted Keith talking to Acxa. "Most of them are here, I think Hunk and Pidge ran out to grab pizza. Keith!"

Keith glanced up and his face brightened at the sight of his boyfriend. He tossed a little wave and then nodded towards the two of them. He and Acxa crossed the room. While Lance hugged the girl, Keith and Logan shook hands and introduced themselves.

"This is going to be an interesting season," Keith noted, openly slipping his hand into Lance's. Lance jumped a bit, glancing behind them, but no one was paying them any kind of attention save for the two co-stars in front of them. Neither of them even blinked.

Lance squeezed his hand gently and shook his head. "I'll say. You're going down, Lotor baby."

Logan snorted and slung a playful arm around Acxa's shoulders. "Not a chance, lover boys."

* * *

"We've fought by Zarkon's side forever, and now we're passed over by this exiled brat?" Throk hissed.

"I heard rumors he fights alongside his enlisted men like a lowly private."

"Worse than that, his top generals aren't even pure Galra. They're half breeds at best – Jesus Christ my character is an ASSHOLE."

* * *

"Hey man...listen," Lance said, voice low. "We all miss Shiro. I remember what a thrill it was just to meet him for the first time when the two of us carried him out of that Garrison hospital."

"I grew up with my dad and Matt telling me stories about him. He was a legend at our house," Pidge added on.

"The guy taught me everything I know about being a pilot! Which isn't much," Hunk admitted. "But that's more on me."

Lance turned to Keith, eyes searching him. "You're not the only one hurting, man. We're all right there with you. But you know that he would be the first one to tell us that we have to move on."

Keith swallowed and lifted his gaze to Lance's, tears clouding his vision instead of the steely hardness that was supposed to be there. Lance frowned and cut off Allura before she could get to them and say her line. "Fuck this."

He dragged Keith in hard, pressing his arms around him into a firm hug and clutching at his back, rubbing soothing circles into the fabric of his jacket. Keith shivered and clung to Lance as well, and the soft "Cut," from Alfor was barely audible.

"You're good, man," Lance muttered. "He's fine, and you know it."

"I know," Keith whispered. He pulled back and eyed Lance, well aware of the dozen or so people standing around them.

Pidge groaned. "Ugh, okay, come on, the date you set was last week, would you two just fucking kiss already so that we can get on with the rest of the episode?"

They both snorted and flipped her off, but Lance obliged, pressing a chaste kiss to Keith's forehead before stepping away. "Everyone loses," he declared, amongst a series of groans from cast members and staff alike.

"You know the funniest thing is," Coran mused, "is that Shiro still isn't here."

There was dead silence for a moment on set, and then everyone burst into laughter. "Oh my _god_ ," Pidge wheezed. "How long do you think we can fuck with him?"

Keith managed a grin, despite the red tint to his eyes. "He's the most fucking oblivious person I know. We could probably be cuddling right in front of him and he would still think we're friends."

Lance snickered and then glanced up at the cast, teeth worrying at his lower lip. "We'd uh...appreciate if this DIDN'T get to the media."

Alfor grunted. "Anyone who says anything is fired and their career in this industry is ruined."

After a moment of awkward silence, Allura cleared her throat. "Keith. I know that-"

"The cameras aren't even ON, ALLURA!"

"I'M DOING MY JOB, DAD."

* * *

 **Geez, Dad.**

 **Side note, I'm struggling a bit financially since I had to buy this computer, and bills exist, so there's a link on my profile to donate to my Ko-fi if you can, and I'm also taking commissions again.**

 **Peace out, fam squad.**


	29. Red Paladin

**Season 3, Episode Two: Red Paladin**

 **Yeah, so the full transcripts aren't online anywhere I can find them, so I'm re-watching episodes in order to write. Yeet.**

 **I don't own Voltron yada yada SEASON FIVE ON MARCH 2ND BOI HERE I COME.**

 **Somehow this chapter was longer than normal but I'm not mad tbh**

 **Bolded Text indicates signing and not speaking,** _"text like this"_ **indicates signing AND speaking.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"We didn't actually officially introduce ourselves," Pidge noted, sticking out a hand. "I'm Pidge."

Ezor giggled and took it, eyes glinting. "Ellie."

"Ezor a stage name like Lotor?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Pidge glanced over at Zethrid, who was signing rapidly for Narti. "She deaf?"

"Mostly. She can hear loud things. She's also mute, so she doesn't talk. But she's got a wicked sense of humor."

Pidge grinned and stepped away from Ezor, waving politely at the other two, much taller women in front of her. _"I'm Pidge,"_ she signed and said, smile widening when Narti's lips twitched upwards. _"Do you like pranks?"_

Narti's smile became a full on smirk, which was all the answer Pidge needed, and Zethrid groaned. _"Why do you hate us, we literally JUST GOT HERE?"_

 _"Oh don't worry, the pranks aren't for you."_

Zethrid and Ellie sighed in relief and Narti snorted. **Yet.**

"Oh, come on!"

* * *

Acxa grunted as the people began firing at her, sprinting to the edge of the wall and then flipping off of it, only to land in a jumbled heap on the air mattress under her with a groan. "Nope, that one did NOT work."

"Are you SURE you don't want a stunt double?" Alfor called.

"YES!"

* * *

Kova leapt numbly onto the top of the wall, tail twitching ever so slightly as she watched Narti approach from the side lines.

"OH my GOD A CAT!" Hunk shrieked from off stage. "YoU DIDN'T TELL ME THERE WAS A CAT!"

"Dude, we fly giant robot cats in this show," Lance reminded him.

"BUT IT'S A REAL CAT!"

"She's Narti's cat, Hunk. For, you know, hearing impairment? And emotional support?"

Hunk's face fell a little. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

Narti's shoulders shook and she lifted her hands. **You can pet her.**

Pidge translated for him and Hunk squealed in delight, practically descending on top of poor Kova. The cat chuffed in irritation but didn't move, the flicking tail going a bit faster.

 **She won't bite him, right?** Pidge asked, keeping her movements slowed so Lance could study her and follow her signs, his own hands moving subconsciously as she did so.

Narti grinned. **Nah. She puts up with a lot. She might leave a fur ball in his dressing room, though.**

Pidge guffawed and translated quietly for Lance, leaving the three of them a snickering mess while they watched Hunk gush over the feline.

* * *

"In fact, you told everyone who would pilot which lion," Pidge realized.

Hunk jolted forwards, eyes wide, and promptly tumbled off the sofa and onto the floor. There was a brief pause, and then he flung his hands up in the air. "Yeah, how did you do that? Did we ever find out how you did that? Can you do that now?"

Alfor chuckled and shook his head. "From the top, you guys. Hunk, try not to fall off this time."

"No promises."

* * *

"Yeah, we all have our thing! Keith's the asshole, I'm the prankster, Hunk's the nice one, Allura's the hot one, Coran's the...I'm not sure what Coran is, to be honest, and Lance is the one fucking the asshole."

Alfor nearly choked, face going bright red as the rest of the team burst into laughter. "KATHERINE ELIZABETH HOLT!"

* * *

"I'm being completely serious when I'm saying that I do not want YOU to lead me ANYWHERE!" Lance shouted.

"Except the bedroom," Acxa muttered off screen.

"Seriously? Seriously guys?"

Bradley patted Alfor on the shoulder. "Another energy drink, sir?"

"Put some vodka in it, Bradley."

* * *

Hunk sat down in the black lion's chair, eyeballing the controls around him and frowning. "Nooope, not it!" he declared.

He stood up, and the interior of the lion lit up bright blue, scaring the absolute shit out of him. "NO. EXCUSE ME. WHAT THE FUCK."

Alfor pressed his hands to his forehead. "Tech!"

"Sorry, Alfor, the timer went off too early!"

"Get me some aspirin with that vodka, Bradley."

* * *

"PIDGE GO RIGHT. LANCE GO LEFT. KEITH, MAKE ME A SANDWICH, STAT! YES, YOU HEARD ME! I'M THE LEADER NOW, DAMMIT."

"Hunk! Children's show! If you're gonna improv your lines, you need to be kid friendly!"

"FUCK THAT!"

* * *

"I can't replace Shiro!" Keith protested. "You guys are right, I'm the asshole– wait, shit, I mean-"

"You heard it here first, folks," Pidge declared, a smug grin on her face.

* * *

"I want to carry on my father's fight," Allura said, her voice low and head bowed. "But I need your help. Allow me to follow in his footsteps as your paladin."

There was a long silence, nothing moving, and Allura's hands tightened on the controls.

"Please, I must do this. Others are risking their lives in this fight and I can't continue to..."

Her breath hitched and she ducked low, tears streaming down her cheeks and shoulders trembling.

After a few moments, Alfor let out a slightly shaky, "Cut!" and Allura pulled herself from the chair, swiping at the tears and stepping off set. Her father pushed himself from the seat and gave her a gentle side hug and a soft kiss to her temple.

"Take five, people."

The groups scattered, the main actors glancing back over their shoulders in concern at Allura. They didn't go far, but Alfor ignored them in favor of squeezing his daughter's shoulder tightly. "Your mother would be proud of you," he murmured.

"How did you-?"

"You think about your mother when you need to do emotional scenes, baby. I do it too. She'd be proud of you."

Allura tucked into her father's side, wrapping her arms around him. "She'd be proud of you too."

* * *

"Where's Lance?"

"What?"

"How did you not notice that your boyfriend was missing?"

"We're literally in fake lion heads right now Pidge, he's not even on this set, I swear to God..."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Okay so for the next scene I didn't write anything in for your interactions with Blue until Allura comes in," Alfor informed him. "So you can improvise however you want."

Lance grinned mischievously. "However, huh?"

"Kid friendly, Lance."

"You're no fun."

* * *

"Are you from outer space? Cause your body is out of this world!"

No response, and Lance flopped back onto the floor. "Geez. That's like my best line."

"How the fuck did you land Keith with THAT line?"

"Shut the fuck up, Pidge."

* * *

"Maybe Pidge was right," Lance said, arm dropping and head tilting. "I am just the goofball. Not only am I not meant to be the leader, I guess now I'm not even meant to be a paladin."

His breath caught and his fingers clenched and Allura grabbed him by the shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Hey," she murmured, voice low so that the mics couldn't pick it up. "Don't embody your character."

Lance gave her a small smile. "Pidge says the same thing."

"She's right."

"Thanks, Allura."

* * *

"Oh, look!" Ezor declared in delight. "There are five puppies now!"

There was silence for a moment, and then she held up a hand, pony tail swinging. "I heard it. Not a word."

* * *

"If I had to lose Blue to someone, I'm glad it was you," Lance admitted.

Allura smiled and glanced away, cheeks a bit flush. Hunk whooped from the sidelines. "NOOOW KISS."

"WRONG PERSON!" they both yelled back simultaneously.

* * *

 **Bradley is the real hero in this fic. I've neglected him for too long.**


	30. The Hunted

**Season 3, Episode 3: The Hunted**

 **Whoop, back from Florida, got a Blade of Marmora tattoo, and back on track (mostly).**

 **Puff the Ninja: Oh, thank you! I'll check it out!**

 **Lieutenant Mist: Keep reading.**

 **ATimeInFantasy: If you mean Lotor and Allura, then no. i still don't fully trust Lotor, so I can't bring myself to ship them. I like them better as a weird kind of brother and sister duo, tbh.**

 **Don't own it, blahbity blah.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"All right," Alfor announced. "Since the vast majority of this episode takes place in your lions, we've moved all of the cockpit sets onto the same stage. That way, your dialogue will flow more naturally."

"So no sound booth?" Pidge asked.

"Correct."

"Good. Last time I was in there, Lance kept kicking me."

"And I'm proud of that."

* * *

"Is attacking right now such a good idea?" Hunk grunted. "You know, since not everyone is so great with their lions?"

"Do you mean me specifically?" Allura snapped.

"Yes. It's all your fault Allura. The whole thing," Hunk deadpanned, shooting her a look like she was the camera on The Office.

"Rude."

* * *

"Maybe someone should suggest to Allura that flying the lion is different than flying the castle."

"Hey, I already told her that yelling at her lion wouldn't work," Lance grumbled. He scowled. "Didn't go over well. She yelled at me too."

"Yup, count me out," Hunk declared. "She scares me when she's under pressure."

"I can hear you."

Alfor glanced sideways at the camera operator as the paladins yelped. "You were rolling for that, right?" he whispered.

"Yes sir. Have a shot trained on all of them."

"Keep it."

* * *

"Hnnnggg, what is going ON?" Keith demanded.

Lance huffed. "Guys, fighter!"

He was promptly hit in the face with a barrage of Nerf Darts. Lance squawked and dove from his chair, lifting a middle finger at Logan, who was standing off stage cackling in delight and slamming his finger down on the trigger of his Nerf gun as fast as physically possible.

Ellie, Narti, and Zethrid popped up behind him, each armed with their own Nerf guns, and began firing into the lions.

Keith screeched and lunged for his sword prop. "Oh, it is ON!"

* * *

"Thacerix?" Acxa asked. "Why?"

"These are not the droids we're looking for."

"Logan!"

"Oh come on, it was perfect!"

* * *

The lights flickered and went dark on set and Pidge groaned. "Guys, we have a problem!"

"Don't we always?" Hunk muttered.

"I'm going to fire all of you," Alfor grumbled.

* * *

"Stop toying with them!" Zethrid shouted. "BRING THE PAIN!"

"I would very much not like the pain, thank you."

"Hunk!"

"What!?"

* * *

"We need to get out of here. We've been led into a trap! The tables have TURNED! He's FLIPPED the SCRIPT! The hunters have become the HUNTED."

"HUNK, SHOUTING TAGLINES IS GETTING US NOWHERE!"

"WELL YOU GET TO DO IT ALL THE TIME!"

* * *

"This is all my fault," Keith whispered, clenching the black lion's controls. "I followed him right into this trap. Everyone warned me, but I didn't listen. I put the entire team in jeapordy."

"Yeah, you kinda did," Lance admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "But now we gotta fix it."

"You're right."

"Come again? Did you just say I'm RIGHT?"

"I will break up with you here and now, Sanchez."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"...yeah. Yeah, it's going good," Keith said into the phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. Lance and Allura lounged across from him, Lance playing idly with Allura's hair while they listened to Keith's phone conversation with Shiro.

Keith's face suddenly shifted from open and comfortable to carefully cold, eyes dropping to the floor. "No, I haven't yet."

Lance glanced up at him, lifting an eyebrow, but Keith didn't seem to notice. His fingers curled into the hem of his shirt and his shoulders tensed. "Shiro, I don't...no. Not now...yes. I will, okay?"

He went silent for a bit, lifting his gaze to the ceiling in a move that he only did when he was trying not to cry. Lance hesitated in his work, hands laying still in Allura's hair. The woman reached up and squeezed his hand gently, and Keith seemed to realize suddenly that they were both still sitting there.

"Shiro I have to...we have to get back on stage in five...I know. I know. Okay. Just...okay, Shiro. Bye."

He hung up, shoving the phone into his jacket and standing abruptly. "Come on," he muttered, his voice a bit gruff. "Let's get back on set. Pidge and Hunk should be close to done by now."

Allura swung her legs off the couch, shooting a pointed look at Lance (as if he didn't know) and then left. Lance shot a hand out and caught Keith's wrist, eyes searching. "Hey. What's wrong, babe?"

Keith gave him a very forced smile. "Nothing. Just miss Shiro, is all."

Lance shook his head. "You guys were arguing. What-?"

"Please just drop it."

Lance hesitated and stood up, grasping Keith's other hand gently and squeezing. "Hon, come on. Talk to me. You've been off ever since our double date with Hunk and Shay."

Keith stared stubbornly away and Lance let his hands fall slack, taking a step away. A sudden feeling of fear coiled in his throat and he swallowed. "Is it...is it me?"

That sure as hell got Keith's attention. His head snapped up and he bolted towards Lance, grabbing his cheeks and stroking his face gently. "Of course it's not you," Keith whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Lance's lips. He leaned their foreheads together. "It's...it's a bit complicated, all right? Can we talk about it after filming today?"

Lance shuddered and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"I love you."

Lance's breath hitched and he tugged Keith into a tight hug, fingers curling into his jacket. "I love you too," he mumbled into his shoulder.

"Let's go, before Pidge comes in here and shoots us with her bayard."

* * *

"What would Lance do?" Allura mused. She paused, and then flung herself forward onto her elbow, giving the console a smirk. "Hey there, Blue Lion. You know, you're really activating my particle barrier right now...he-he."

"That is NOT what I would do."

"That is absolutely what you did, Lance."

"Yup."

"Pretty much."

"On the nose."

"I hate all of you."

* * *

"Hey Pidge, here's the scenario. You're stranded on a scary gas planet and you only have one food to eat for the rest of your life. What's it gonna be?"

"Tacos, definitely."

"Ohhhh. That's a good answer."

"Guyssss," Alfor whined.

"What?" Pidge protested. "I want a taco!"

* * *

"I just had to get into a Lance-like mindset and stop thinking so much."

"Yeeaaahhh, think like Lance! Wait a minute, are you calling me dumb?" Lance snapped.

"No, I'm calling you a natural!" Allura assured him.

"Naturally dumb," Hunk chuckled.

Pidge grinned. "Yeah, he was born with it."

"Look, I'm glad we're all making fun of Lance," Keith cut in. "But we still have to find a way out of here."

"Follow me," Allura declared. "I know a way out."

"Cut for a sec, we need to switch lighting!" Alfor called.

Pidge instantly flung herself across Lance's lap, lounging with her arms crossed behind her head. "Love you."

He snorted and ducked his head as Keith circled his arms around him from behind and pressed a kiss to his scalp. "Yeah, yeah, love you assholes too."

* * *

"Hunk! I'm a leg!"

"Pretty cool, right?"

"Could you guys have not come up with a better tagline?" Pidge mused.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Alllll right, Mr. Emo, what's up?" Lance demanded, catching Keith in the hallway outside of the showers. They both had towels flung over their shoulders and their hair was damp. "You've been avoiding me since last cut."

Keith grimaced and tugged at the ends of his towel, sinking down into one of the lounge chairs outside the waiting area. They were just far enough from the cast and crew that they could see and be seen, but not be heard. Lance flopped in the chair next to him, curled up with his knees against his stomach and his head on Keith's shoulder. "Your hair is getting my shirt wet."

"Yeah, yeah, it's just water. Now what's up?"

Keith frowned and curled his fingers together. "You know how Shiro is coming back soon? In the show, I mean."

Lance hummed. "Yeah. They won't give me the script for after Season 3 though."

"That's because you're awful at hiding spoilers from people."

"Fair."

Keith managed a small smile. "Well...when he comes back, I'm leaving."

There was a moment of silence, and then Lance bolted upright, swinging his feet down to the floor. "You're-?"

"Not for good," Keith promised quickly. He refused to meet Lance's gaze. "I just...won't be in most of Season 4. Not a lot of Season 5, either. I've...actually shot a lot of scenes from both seasons already, since they're more solo scenes. There's a few I have to do with Matt and Kolivan still, but-"

"You're leaving," Lance finished, voice soft.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Keith licked his lips and squared his shoulders. "I got a lead. On my mom. My birth mom. I thought she was dead, but..." he huffed a shot Lance a pained smile. "I guess acting runs in the family. She's somewhere in Eastern Europe doing short films, so I'm taking a leave to go find her. Alfor gave me permission, so it's why my character doesn't have a super heavy storyline in season four. I didn't tell you because I was worried you'd be upset or maybe break it off or something cause we'd be long distance and-"

"Hey."

Lance's fingers pulled his hands away from each other, stopping their destruction of his shirt hem, and he twined them together. Lance's free hand lifted to his cheek, dusting the knuckle of his pointer finger under a strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes. "I'm not upset," he promised. "I mean, I'm upset you didn't tell me. But it's not like you're gone forever. Plus, you get the chance to find your mom. If I was in your place, I'd make the same choice."

He leaned forward and pressed their forehead's together, searching Keith's gaze. "I'll be here when you're back," he promised quietly. "No promises I won't take over Voltron, though."

Keith gave a hoarse chuckle and kissed him, shaking his head. "Nope. Not a chance."

"Come on, Black Paladin Lance? Has a nice ring to it. Even the fans think so!"

"Uh huh. Sure they do."


	31. Hole in the Sky

**Season 3, Episode 4: Hole in the Sky**

 **RavenNighwing42: You'll just have to see, now won't you?**

 **AbuvTheClouds: Well welcome to the party, and thank you for the review!**

 _ **Writing in italics only**_ **indicates signing and not speaking. _"Italics with quotations"_ indicates speaking and signing. **

* * *

"It's an old Altean distress signal," Coran explained, his voice filled with hope. "One used by King Alfor's ships."

"Could it be?" Allura breathed. "Are we not the last of the Mohicans?"

Lance and Pidge burst into snickers while Keith and Hunk just grinned and glanced sideways at Alfor, who was pressing a hand to his face. The man took a deep, long breath, and lifted his gaze to his daughter. "Honey. What-?"

"It was too perfect to pass up!"

* * *

"Is it stuck in a wormhole?"

Coran frowned. "That's unlike any wormhole I've ever seen."

The response line never came, and instead, the group started snickering, Pidge's face turning bright red. Coran rolled his eyes and waved a hand. "Yes, yes, wormhole is a euphemism for anus, can we PLEASE get on with this scene?"

Alfor blinked in surprise. "Uh, yeah. What he said."

* * *

"That's strange," Hunk murmured, tapping at his monitors. "I'm not showing any signs of life on the ship."

"Maybe not on this half," Allura protested, "but there is more to this ship than meets the eye. Hang on, that wasn't-"

"TRANSFORMERS, ROLL OUT!" Lance shrieked.

* * *

"Where did he go?" Keith asked.

Lance yelped. "And where did that planet come from?"

"According to my sensors," Pidge stated, "we're still in exactly the same place we were before."

Hunk huffed. "This is gonna sound strange, but now I'm detecting multiple biorhythms aboard the ship."

For a moment, there was silence, and then a penny whistle playing eerie sounding music crackled to life in the sound booth. Everyone jumped and turned to glare out the booth window at Coran, who had a grin a mile wide. His eyes were sparkling. Alfor was trying to hide the shake of his shoulders next to him. "Did I get you?"

"You're fucking dead, Coran."

* * *

"Did the crew abandon ship?" Keith wondered.

"I don't know," Lance muttered, bending down to one of the outfits on the floor. "But they couldn't have gotten far without their space suuuuuuuuOH THOSE AREN'T EMPTY."

He flung the helmet to the ground and backpedaled away from the skeleton, hesitating for only a second before whirling on Pidge and Hunk, who were off screen and giggling to themselves. "YOU'RE BOTH ASSHOLES."

Alfor glanced over at the camera crew. "Keep that shot."

* * *

"That still doesn't explain the biorhythms I picked up in this area," Hunk pointed out.

"Look out!" Lance shouted, springing at the intruding figure with his gun in hand.

The group dove into action, fighting off the invading people on the ship, and eventually Pidge cracked their helmet in half, causing it to fall off. Keith stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide. "Shiro?"

He frowned at the change in lines. "Not Shiro. I am Sven."

There was a long moment of silence, and then Keith whirled on Alfor. "Is THAT why you didn't let us meet him before hand?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

* * *

"I think when we passed through that glowy, explode-y area, we entered an alternate reality," Pidge explained.

"You mean like what Slav was always talking about?" Lance asked. He glanced at Alternate-Slav with a frown. "Well not you. Well, you yeah, but a different you. One that talks about alternate realities a lot."

Iqbal popped his head out of the costume with a shit-eating grin. "That's me!"

"IQBAL! GET BACK IN THE COSTUME OR I'M GETTING YOUR STUNT DOUBLE."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So this Shiro...looks exactly like me?" Sven asked as he walked down the hall to the breakroom with Keith.

Keith shrugged. "Yeah, basically. Minus the hair and a few other small things. You guys could be twins."

"And where is he now?"

"Taking a vacation. Where are you from?"

Sven shrugged. "Grew up in Manhattan."

"So no relation to Takashi Shirogane, then?"

"Not that I can think of. Really stuck on the face, huh?"

"Tell me about it."

* * *

"Empress," Hira breathed, falling to her knees. The stunt doubles followed suit, only for one of them to lose their balance and topple into the rest of the group, sending everyone to the ground. Hira remained the only one upright, and she clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.

Alfor sighed. "Get it out now. From the top on this scene, guys."

* * *

"Your theory about Voltron was finally proven correct."

"I was personally hoping to see some more fireworks when it hit that energy swirl," Zethrid admitted, spreading her hands. "I guess all of the previous attempts to get it out were just more enjoyable to watch. For me, not your pilots."

 _Would you stop being so emo?_ Narti asked, shoulders shaking in laughter.

Zethrid shot a glare at the translator off camera, who was shrugging apologetically. " _I'll be as emo as I want to be, thank you very much._ "

" _Keith is worse anyway,_ " Pidge declared from off screen.

Keith, standing and talking quietly to Sven behind one of the cameramen, flipped them off without looking.

* * *

"Do you think the people from the other reality will join the Alteans?" Sven asked.

Slav frowned. "If they're really my friends from another reality, there's a 72 percent chance they'll figure out what's right."

"I don't know about _friends._ "

"Yeah, friends is pushing it."

"More like acquaintances."

"Reluctant acquaintances."

"You're not helping your case, you know."

* * *

Sven kicked the vent out of the wall, making Lance, Hunk, and Pidge jump in startled surprise. "Yoo hoo, big summer blow out!"

"Sven!" Alfor whined.

"I could not resist!"

* * *

"AHAHAHAHA!"

"Why are you laughing?" Lance demanded.

"Because this is the reality where everything works out fine!"

"I feel like he just jinxed us," Hunk said under his breath.

* * *

Lance darted ahead of the group, gun at the ready, and stopped at the corner to hit the robots aiming at him. He grinned as they went down, and then gasped as even more appeared from the other side of the corridor and began firing at him.

Sven leapt at him and completely missed, flopping face first onto the ground while Lance was smacked in the chest by tiny rubber pellets. "Ow," he monotoned, turning to glance at Sven. "My hero."

Sven weakly raised a hand off the ground, turning it into a thumbs up. "No problem."

"Jinxed us," Hunk said.

* * *

"Sven, are you okay?" Lance asked in concern. "You saved my life!"

"I'll be okay. Just get me to space hospital."

Lance pursed his lips and then burst into giggles, covering his mouth. Sven gave a wry smile. "What is so funny?"

"Oh my god that _line_."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Hope you have a safe flight," Keith said into the phone, glancing over at Sven.

"Did ya miss me?" Shiro teased, his voice tinny in the wide expanse of the airport he was in.

Keith bit back a grin and held up a finger to Lance when he beckoned him over. "Not a bit. We found your replacement."

"You – what?"

"Your replacement. Yeah, he's great. Gotta go, we're going out to dinner with him. See ya later!"

He hung up against Shiro's sputtering protests and darted over to the group, wrapping a loose arm around Lance's waist and grinning. "We ready for IHOP or what?"

"Was that Shiro on the phone?" Allura asked.

"Oh yeah totally."

"Did you tell him we found his twin?" Hunk piped up from where he was rummaging through his duffle bag for his wallet on the ground.

"Of course I did."

Sven shot him a look. "You teased him about it, didn't you?"

"See, he's basically Shiro, he knows me already. Let's go!"

Lance chuckled as Keith dragged him along to the door. "You're the worst to your brother, you know that?"

"Absolutely."


	32. Trailing a Comet

**Season 3, Episode 6: Tailing a Comet.**

 **Yes, I skipped episode 5. I spent weeks trying to sit down and write it, and I just couldn't force myself to. It's my least favorite episode, closely followed by the television show one. I had no inspiration for it, and it (plus irl things) was keeping me from updating. Nothing plot wise would have happened anyway. Would have been filmed before Shiro left.**

 **Anyway, here's this.**

* * *

"Almost...there!" Pidge declared. The screen fizzled out of existence and slowly the bots they were fighting hit the ground, dead.

Everyone stared, waiting for Lance to drift down from the ceiling, but when more than thirty seconds had gone by with no sight of him, they all looked up, only to find him dangling helplessly by his harness with his feet kicking in the air. Two tech supports were fiddling with the controls above him.

Keith grinned. "Having fun up there?"

"Shut up."

* * *

"If you're feeling up to it, the rest of the team would be thrilled to see you up and around again. And cut that nasty ass wig."

"Keith! He just got back!" Alfor whined.

"All the more reason to fuck up his takes."

* * *

"Great job everyone. You really turned the tide in this-"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SHIRO?" Pidge demanded.

Shiro faltered. "What?"

"That haircut," Lance said, tisking and shaking his head. "Not a good look on you."

"And where are your sleeves?" Hunk asked.

"You're not serious," Shiro managed.

Alfor sighed and pressed both hands to his face. "It's going to be a long shoot, Bradley."

* * *

"Maybe I can scan the emissions for Fraunhauffer lines, like when I found the blue lion," Hunk suggested.

"But you know those emissions are subject to free induction decay," Pidge pointed out. "Those are exponential drop-offs."

"Yeah, but if you could find a way to amplify the sensors – no that'd be way too much interference. What if instead we increase the SA magnitude?"

"The spires of the castle!"

"Genius!"

"Cut!"

For a moment, Alfor just stared at Hunk and Pidge. "How in the world did you two get through that without messing up?"

Pidge shrugged. "Didn't feel like doing it again."

"Are you KIDDING ME?"

* * *

Keith had just hung up his jacket when suddenly there was a pounding at his door. He turned back and lifted an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

The doors peeled open to reveal Lance, only to stop at less than a foot apart, leaving a gap for Lance to peer through. He hesitated, and then shimmied his way through the gap and into the room, ignoring Keith as he started cracking up. "Hey man – stop laughing, I'm trying to be serious."

"Tech!" Alfor groaned.

* * *

"Stop worrying about who flies what, and just focus on your missions," Keith assured him. "Things will work themselves out."

"Okay, thanks."

Lance turned to walk away and Keith looked up at him. "And Lance? Leave the math to Pidge."

"Who wrote these lines?" Pidge demanded from the side after a moment had gone by. "That's the WORST thing I've ever heard your character say."

"You're not the one who has to say it," Keith grumbled.

* * *

"Maybe we didn't adjust the polarity correctly," Hunk mused. He slammed his fist down on the console, smashing it through the center and watching it crumble to the floor. "Uh...my bad."

* * *

"This may be the worst post in the Galra empire," the soldier growled. "But it's MY POST! VICTORY OR DEATH! STOP LAUGHING!"

* * *

Acxa leapt from the ground, kicking her heels up and around into a flip and aiming her gun at the soldiers. She fired off several shots and shifted to land, only to smack face first into the safety mat.

"You okay Acxa?" Alfor called out.

She grunted into the plush mat and lifted a thumb. "Peachy keen."

* * *

Narti sprinted into the battle, spinning on her heel and swirling so that her tail swept Pidge's feet from under her. The tail disconnected from her suit and went flying into the opposite wall, landing with a resounding "smack!"

Narti clapped a hand over her mouth, hiding a grin. Pidge didn't even bother holding back, cracking up on the ground and clutching at her stomach. Everyone else was close behind.

Even Alfor had a smile on his face. "Someone reattach that for her, please? Take five and we'll start from the top of this scene."

* * *

Ezor dove in between Keith and Acxa, flinging a throwing star in Keith's direction. He flinched and flung his arms up, only to get lightly bopped by the plastic toy. He peeked up at Lance after a moment, an eyebrow lifted. "What happened to having my back?"

"Special effects!" Lance whined.

* * *

"We don't have time for this," Keith ordered. "We have to get to the lions!"

"Good idea," Lance whimpered.

Allura grabbed the back of his collar and yanked him straight up, making the young man yelp in surprise. "Holy CHEESE, you're strong!"


	33. The Legend Begins

**Season 3, Episode 7: The Legend Begins**

 **Whoop, here it is! Shorter, because it's harder to work with characters you don't know as well, but there were some fun moments in this episode to play with.**

* * *

"Sire," Haggar droned. She lifted her hands, stretching them across his face. "Forgive me for this, but I know no other way. Your empire needs you."

She placed both fingers to either side of his temples and shut her eyes, ducking her head. For a moment, there was silence, and then Zarkon's lips twitched. "Do I get a massage out of this?" he asked.

Aggie scoffed and swatted his head as Alfor grumbled in his chair. "Well, NOW you don't!"

* * *

"In the beginning," Coran began, lifting his gaze to the ceiling, "the paladins were just five leaders. Who, despite coming for cultures that were vastly divergent, and in some cases had been warring for generations, managed to look past their differences in order to protect their common interests. What was initially a formal agreement to work alongside each other soon blossomed into a true friendship. A warrior's bond was forged, and together they worked to rid their system of those who would do it harm."

For a long moment, there was silence, and when he looked back down he found the whole cast and crew, including Alfor, staring at him. "What?" he demanded.

"That was...perfect," Alfor choked out.

Coran scoffed. "Please. You act as if I haven't been acting since I was 13 years old. I'm just an asshole most of the time, and you know it."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Your name is...Gergin," Pidge said in slight bewilderment, eyeing the large man in front of her.

Gergin smirked. "And yours is Pidge."

"Touche."

"Tris," the older woman in the room introduced herself, shaking hands with Keith and then Shiro. "My character name was altered to be more alien than that."

"Same," the younger man next to her said, clapping Lance on the back and then shaking his hand, doing the same with Hunk a moment later. "Blake, but the stage name is Blaytz. Gergin is his last name, his actual name is-"

"Not a fucking word, Blake."

Blake grinned and held up his hands, ignoring Pidge's blubbering protests. "All right, all right."

* * *

"This...is another reality?" Zarkon asked in awe. He paused, and then glanced down, shouting at the top of his lungs as Kova curled around his ankles. "AHH! WHAT IS THAT?"

Alfor clapped a hand over his mouth at the overdramatic performance, struggling to keep himself in check as Aggie came over to pick the cat up. She was laughing too. Donna face palmed. "Alfor!" the assistant director whined. "You're doing exactly what you always tell them not to!"

"I couldn't help it! It's a CAT!"

* * *

"Isn't this exciting?" Honerva asked, a smile on her face. "It could change the way we understand our entire universe!"

"Well," Zarkon gulped. "Find out everything you can. I will provide any support you may require. I must go."

He spun and stormed off the set, flipping off the younger actors, all off to the side and chanting, "ZARKON'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Lance, have you seen – oh my god," Keith managed to choke out as he crossed into Lance's dressing room.

The young man turned, one finger clutched in the grasp of the baby in his arms. His face was split in an ear to ear grin, and the baby was giggling. Who Keith assumed was her mother sat on Lance's couch, speaking on the phone and keeping one eye on the duo. The baby was probably only about five months old, and she had strong grip on Lance's finger. As he watched, she dragged it to her mouth and began gnawing.

"Meet Emille," Lance said with a soft tone. His eyes glittered. "She's playing baby Allura."

"She doesn't have white hair," Keith found himself saying.

Lance laughed, startling Emille, and shook his head. "They're adding that after the fact. Her mom was passing by and she just...reminded me so much of my little niece."

Lance's tone got sad, like it usually did when he missed his family, and Keith crossed the threshold to stand next to him, staring down at Emille with the same wide-eyed stare she was giving him. "She's adorable," he murmured.

"Wanna hold her?" Lance asked.

Keith instantly backpedaled. "Nope, no, no, no. I don't trust myself like that. No way. I'd probably drop her. No, I...I'm happy just to watch you with her."

His cheeks burned as he said it, but Lance just gave him a warm smile and leaned over, pecking him lightly on the cheek. Emille cooed, babbling happily, and went back to chewing furiously on Lance's pointer finger.

"I think she's going to be a cannibal when she grows up," Keith noted.

"Jesus Christ, man."

* * *

"I can't believe we did it!" Blaytz yelped.

Trigyl shook her head. "How did this come about?"

"AM I A LEG?" Gergin squealed.

"You guys seriously need a better catch phrase," Pidge and Blaytz chorused at the same time.

They air-fived as the rest of the room groaned.

* * *

"King Alfor held a state funeral for Zarkon and Honerva in his royal hall," Coran narrated. "But what happened next-"

"WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!" Lance shouted from across the set.

"Lance, I swear to god himself," Donna grumbled.

* * *

 **Season 4 is up next! No between the scenes for this one, since originally it was supposed to be all one season. Prepare for angst in the next chapter. Just saying.**

 **Updating Run the Night tonight as well, so be on the lookout for that! Reviews are lovely!**


	34. Code of Honor

**Season 4, Episode 1: Code of Honor**

 **Whoop, been two weeks, my b. Officially moved into my new apartment and have been getting settled down. Season Six is just around the corner, yeet!**

 **Less angst than I anticipated writing, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

When Keith got to set that day, he hesitated before opening the front door. His fingers flexed on the door handle and his head ducked as he took a breath. He wasn't ready to leave, if he was admitting it. He absolutely wanted to follow the rumor about his mother, see if it took him anywhere.

But Lance, Shiro, the others...leaving them ached more than Keith ever thought it would have in the last year or so of filming.

"Keith?"

He glanced up to find Alfor standing there, a Starbucks coffee in his hand that steamed in the cool morning air. The man gave him a sympathetic smile and settled a hand on his shoulder. "Can't go inside, eh?"

"It'll feel real, then," he admitted, looking away from the director.

"It's going to be real even if you don't go in, bud."

Keith managed a small smile. "I know."

"It's only for a few weeks, Keith. You know that as well as I do."

He took another breath. "I know."

Alfor gestured his coffee at the door and Keith smiled wider, pulling the door open and stepping into the lobby.

"SURPRISE!"

He yelped and backpedaled, almost slamming into Alfor, eyes wide as he took in the cast and crew standing around, food overflowing on their usually barren donut table. Streamers dipped and weaved around the outskirts, and music was playing softly in the background, something by Panic! at the Disco.

"Jesus fucking christ," he muttered, pressing a hand to his forehead. He glanced back at Alfor and grinned. "Jerk."

Alfor smirked. "Couldn't go in ahead of you and have it spoiled, now could I?"

Pidge came bouncing up to him, eyes glittering behind her glasses, and handed him a cupcake. "Better watch out. I don't see you for a month."

She practically skipped away and Keith groaned, taking a big bite out of the cupcake and smiling weakly at everyone else.

He was going to have to be on his toes today.

* * *

"We're lucky to have it since the rebels overran the Sigma 3 quadrant," the sentry noted. "It-"

A Blade soldier fell to the ground at his feet and he paused, looking back up at the other two, who were still balanced in their hiding spot. "Found the rebels."

"I lost my balance, okay?" Kole grumbled into the ground.

* * *

Regris slid down the chute rapidly, arms spread slightly for balance, only to come to a squeaking halt about halfway down. For a moment, everyone was silent, and then Regris began sliding down inch by inch, creating an awful screeching sound as the metal from his costume dragged on the set.

"Cut!" Alfor groaned. "Someone oil that chute."

* * *

"We've discussed this before," Shiro said. "Besides, we both know that the black lion has chosen you."

"Yeah cause you a PHONY!" Lance shouted from off set.

"LANCE!" Alfor snapped. "SPOILERS!"

* * *

"Count me in."

"Hey, what about our performance? We can't razzle dazzle the crowd with just four lions!"

"Who the fuck says razzle dazzle anymore?"

"Me! Rude."

* * *

"I thought Keith said he was gonna be here," Lance grumbled. "He's going to ruin our show!"

"Stop being so worried about your boyfriend," Allura teased.

"I WANT TO RAZZLE DAZZLE!"

"You're going to say that out of spite now, aren't you?" Hunk deadpanned.

"You know it."

* * *

"When he's together he's like a big man," Coran explained, standing on his tiptoes and lifting his arm up. "Like this. But you have to imagine it with a sword. And a big laser canon. Pew, pew! Stop laughing, he is your worst nightmare!"

* * *

"I do not have to explain myself to you," Lotor snapped. "Now do not bother me again!"

Haggar paused for a moment and then scowled. "Is that anyway to treat your mOTHER?"

Lotor gasped dramatically. "YOU'RE MY MOTHER?"

"You guys are the worst," Alfor muttered, smacking his clipboard into his head.

* * *

"We're really gonna miss you," Pidge said, voice crackling and eyes filling with tears.

"Yeah," Lance managed, plastering a smile to his face. "Who am I gonna..."

He swallowed and shut his eyes, breathing out slowly. Keith twisted in the group hug, reaching a hand around and gripping Lance's chin firmly, dragging him down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I'll be back, you idiots," he scoffed, though his voice was also wobbly. "Literally in like less than a month. You know that."

They all hummed in affirmation, all except Shiro, who was whipping his head back and forth between Lance and Keith so quickly it looked like it was going to fly off.

"SINCE WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU KISSING?"

"Get with the program Shiro," Coran groaned.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Knock knock."

Lance glanced up from where he was taking off his makeup, a small smile slipping over his face at the sight of his boyfriend in the doorway. "Shiro finish yelling?"

Keith snorted. "More like stammering. I think he's still in shock that we kept it for so long. Are you okay?"

"You're asking me?" Lance said in surprise. He turned in his chair, eyes searching Keith's face. "You're about to go off to who knows where to potentially find a mother that you thought died ages ago. I should be asking you that."

Keith huffed and wrapped his arms around himself. "Yeah, well...not who knows where. Europe. Somewhere over there."

"Europe's a big continent," Lance noted, standing up and crossing the room to wrap his arms around Keith's neck. "Get me a tacky Eiffel Tower keychain if you end up in Paris?"

Keith smirked and tugged Lance into a tight hug, burying his nose into the dip between his neck and his shoulder. He let his eyes flutter shut, breathing in the smell of salt and the faint hint of Old Spice. "Count on it."

"You know, Pidge didn't prank you today," Lance mused against his collar.

Keith shuddered. "Trust me. I know."

"You're dead."

* * *

 **If anyone watches Trollhunters, save me from the agony that is my hatred of Merlin.**


	35. Reunion

**Season 4, Episode 2: Reunion**

 **What up, happy pride month, this chapter is GAY, Season 6 MURDERED ME, and please take a look at my author's note at the end of this chapter, I'd really appreciate it.**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"This is stupid," Pidge grumbled as the costume department intern settled a wig on top of her head. "Why can't I just leave it like it is?"

"Because your hair is long in the past," Alfor groaned in exasperation. "You can't have it changing lengths."

"Plus for the Mulan scene in season one you needed drama," the intern piped.

"Betsy! Copyright!" Alfor snapped.

"Sorry sir."

* * *

Pidge grunted and chucked the book at the wall with an angry yell. The book slammed straight through the wall and fell to the other side of the set.

Everyone turned to look at Pidge, who had both hands over her mouth. Her eyes were practically circles. "Sorry!" she squeaked.

* * *

"I guess it was my brains," Matt mused. "It could have been my looks or my big muscles."

"Definitely your muscles," Lance muttered off screen.

"You have a BOYFRIEND!" Hunk yelped.

"I CAN APPRECIATE AESTHETIC, HUNK!"

* * *

Pidge stepped up towards the building, peering up from her watch, and slowly started pushing open the metal door in front of her. With a screeching sound, it fell to the floor with an angry thud, making the girl jump back.

"What the quiznak!"

"Pidge! Stop breaking things!" Alfor whined.

"I'm sorry!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So you're just...animating me flying into my lion?" Pidge asked.

"Yeah, why?" Alfor questioned.

"I wanted to fly into the lion," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh my god."

* * *

"Oh no. Are you okay?"

Pidge guided Te-osh to the ground gently, cradling her head and scanning her with anxiety.

"That's GAAAAYYYY," Lance and Matt chorused off screen.

"You would both know!"

"Can you three PLEASE stop ruining our takes?"

* * *

Pidge collapsed to the ground in front of Matt's grave, body shaking as an electronic voice began reading off the encryption. "Matthew Holt."

The rest of the sentence was lost on her, and she dug her fingers into the ground. "I'm so sorry," she whimpered. "I was too late." She gasped, letting loose as deep of a scream as she could muster, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The "Cut!" was almost too quiet to hear, and then arms were circling her shoulders, dragging her in, and Pidge was hugging her brother. He was trembling.

"I was just acting," she croaked, even though that felt like a lie.

"Stop being so good at it."

* * *

Pidge's weapon slammed into the opponents helmet, knocking him to the ground, and she shouted, diving at him. Matt turned, eyes wide, and Pidge froze.

"You...your nose is bleeding."

"God fucking dammit, Pidge."

* * *

"Let's show this guy what the Holt's are made of!"

"Looks to me like you're made of meat." The villain paused, and then stepped back. "Really? Really? That's my line? Jeez, that's so cliché."

"Could we please just get through this battle scene?" Alfor groaned.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Okay so seriously...muscles?"

Lance looked up at Matt and grinned from ear to ear, putting his book down and giving him a once over. "Oh yeah. Seriously."

Matt snorted and leaned on the doorway, shaking his head. "Thanks, I think."

"Did she like...out you?"

"Nah. Been pretty comfortable with being out for a while. And since I'm not super big in the movie industry, people don't really pay attention to me. Being in low budget stuff has it's perks," Matt chuckled.

Lance frowned, eyebrows furrowing, and leaned his elbows onto his knees. "How do you deal with it though? Like...the paparazzi and the fans and shit."

Matt's eyes softened and he moved to sit next to Lance, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You just do. There are some crummy, shitty people out there. But I think you'll find that the good ones tend to outweigh the bad ones in the long run. Plus, the whole cast and crew here is super supportive. So at the very least, you have that. You and Keith could be in a way worse position, trust me."

He squeezed Lance's shoulder and Lance shot him a small smile, tilting his head. "Thanks, Matt. How do you get along not having your boyfriend here, though?"

"Pfffft, I don't have one," Matt snorted. "Had my eyes on Shiro for a while, but he and Allura have that thing now. Hunk though...Hunk's pretty cute. He gay?"

"Pan. But he has a girlfriend."

"Dammit."

Lance laughed and shook his head. "Sorry, man."

"Nah, it's cool. I'll just have to go for Rolo, mm? Unless he and Nyma are dating."

"No way, she's way into girls."

"Hell yeah."

* * *

 **Hey yoooooo (yes that ending scene was lowkey the side of me that ships Latte, sue me)**

 **So I've been struggling a bit financially recently and I'm not sure I'm gonna make bills this month. I know a lot of people read this fic, so if you guys have anything to spare, you can feel free to commission me or donate to my Ko-fi! All of the information for both is on my profile page, or you can message me on tumblr (same username as here).**

 **It's been really overwhelming, and I could seriously use the help. So if you enjoy my writing, I'd appreciate anything you could spare.**


	36. Black Site

**Season 4, Episode 3: Black Site**

 **Sorry about the delays. I was pretty busy the last few weeks with commissions.**

 _ **Italics**_ **only is signing, _"Italics in quotes"_ is speaking and signing. **

* * *

Haggar stared at the mirror, eyes wide, fingers trailing down her face as she gazed at herself, searching every corner of her skin.

"If you're done pampering, can we take over the universe now?" the druid droned from behind her.

Aggie flipped him off.

"Guys we're not even five minutes in yet," Alfor whined.

* * *

The pod doors opened, revealing a massive grouping of aliens. From inside, there was groaning, grunting, and then Coran's hand popped out. "S'cuse me, coming through!" he managed, shoving his way through the crowd. "Ow!"

He hit the ground and laid there for a moment as everyone walked over him, before popping back up and gesturing to the other side of the pathway. "Just right in there, they'll get you sorted out! What are you lot laughing at?" he demanded of the paladins.

Alfor was grinning. "Do that take again, exactly like that Coran."

Coran groaned. "Seriously?"

* * *

"Hey, Pidge is back!" Hunk cried in delight.

He and Lance sprinted for the green lion, Lance flinging himself at the green screen that would show the image later on. "Pidge it's so good to see you!"

"Lance," Pidge chuckled in amusement, shaking her head off screen. "Alfor is gonna kill you."

Lance winked at the director, who had his head in his hands. "Nah. He loves me too much."

"Don't push it."

* * *

"And this is Princess Allura of Altea," Pidge informed Matt.

Matt looked at her and promptly gave a long, drawn out shout. "Whooooaaaa!"

Allura bit back a grin. "It is so wonderful to finally meet you, Matt."

"Oh my GOODNESS!"

He instantly cupped his hands into a heart shape and held them over Allura's face. "Ding!"

"Cut! Matt?"

"I forgot the anime lines!"

* * *

"Shiro? Its so good to see you! Um...sir."

Shiro grasped his hand and pulled him in for a hug. Off screen, Lance and Hunk hooted. "GAAAAY!"

* * *

"This is our cow."

Kaltenecker mooed and Matt hesitated, eyebrows furrowing. "How did you get-?"

"Season 2," everyone off screen chorused.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You bought an actual cow," Matt said, staring at Kaltenecker and then looking at Alfor as the crew moved props around.

Alfor shrugged. "Yeah. She's easy to train."

"You bought a cow for like...four episodes of the whole show."

"She'll be in more! And then when we're done we're giving her to a farm that helps needy families!"

Matt grinned. "I don't know if Lance will take too kindly to losing his cow."

"Who said it was his-?"

Lance popped up from behind Kaltenecker, squinting at Alfor and jabbing a finger in his direction. "She's mine."

"Jesus Christ."

* * *

"And this is where the food goo comes out!"

Instead of food goo, confetti shot from the hose, smacking Matt in the face and backfiring on Pidge, raining down around them both to the floor.

No one said anything for a minute, and then slowly Pidge took her glasses off, shooting a glare in Lance's direction. He was fighting back a smile. "Your boyfriend's doing, I take it?"

Lance shrugged. "He read ahead in the scripts. What can I say?"

"Tell him he's dead."

* * *

"I am Princess Allura. And this is Coran."

"Pleasure. Quite lovely in here."

"Rather."

"Is this...how do you find living on the castle with us? Pleasant, I hope?"

Kaltenecker mooed.

"If there's anything I can do to make your stay more to your liking, please do not hesitate to ask."

"It's her ship so...we were actually just enjoying these...milk...shakes that you made for us."

"Positively divine, really!"

"Positively bovine is more like it," Coran joked.

"We almost got through that guys!" Alfor groaned.

"I couldn't help it!"

* * *

"This one time we went to another reality...it was pretty lame."

"Wait, what?" Matt managed. "You! Were in a different reality?"

"Yeah, Sven fucking died," Pidge said, snatching away Matt's machine.

"Who the fuck is Sven?"

"Guys!"

* * *

"I'm pretty sure I can upgrade Voltron with cloaking," Pidge assured them. "We could all go."

Lance jabbed Pidge in the side with his elbow, accidentally hitting too hard and knocking her to the floor. He squawked, grinning, and held out a hand. "Sorry!"

She smirked and took his hand, yanking him down after her. "Like hell you are."

* * *

"We must have been tracked!"

Lotor turned, staring Narti down, and gritted his teeth. He ran at her, lifting his sword and slicing it down hard.

The rubber blade bounced off her shoulder and she tilted her head, lifting both hands. _Ouch._

 _"Fuck off,"_ Lotor chuckled.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Find anything yet?" Lance asked, drawing his knees up to his chin and spinning slowly in his chair.

Keith, on video chat, sighed, pressing the heel of his hand to his eyes. "No," he grumbled. "This place is so fucking nuts. I thought the drinking in Scotland was exaggerated. It definitely isn't. I'm headed to Paris tomorrow. How are things there?"

Lance tried for a smile. "Not bad. Pidge says to tell you that you're dead for the confetti prank."

Keith's lips twitched. "Thought she'd like that. But stop distracting me. I'm not dumb, Lance. What's wrong?"

Lance shrugged, tucking his nose into the top of his knees and staring at the floor. A lump rose in his throat, unbidden. "I just...I really miss you, is all."

"That's not all, babe. Come on."

"I feel like...with you gone, I just...I'm the outsider. Like no one...wants me around. Even in filming, it's going that way. In the show. Most of my scenes I did by myself or with Kaltenecker."

He sighed, breath shaky, and swiped at his cheek, refusing to look up. "I'm scared that...I don't know."

"Lance-"

"I'm scared you'll find someone better, while you're there. That it'll just...make you reconsider everything, and then you'll never come back and I'll just always be a second choice for everyone."

There was silence, and when Lance finally got the courage to look up again, he could see that Keith's eyes were glittering. Keith studied him, face soft. "Lance. Babe. You're not a second choice for anyone there. You and Hunk have been best friends for years, you've known Pidge since middle school. They can't replace you. And I sure as hell won't."

"I'm just...I don't know, Keith. My chest hurts and my eyes hurt and my jaw hurts for some reason and I feel like...I feel like I don't even matter. And I know what you're going to say, that I do, and it just...it won't help. I'm sorry."

"Lance," Keith whined. "Please. I love you, you know that. Tell me you know that."

Lance's throat twisted and he swallowed, looking away. "I'm struggling, Keith," he whispered.

"Babe-"

"Lance! Did you want a ride?" Hunk called from outside. "We're getting the pizza now!"

Keith's eyes flickered towards Hunk's voice and then back to his boyfriend. "Lance, I-"

"I'm gonna go," Lance murmured. "I need to think. Good luck finding your mom, okay?"

"Lance-!"

"Goodnight, Keith."

He closed the laptop.

* * *

 **I'm in...an angst mood. Like really in an angst mood. Sorry.**


	37. The Voltron Show!

**Season 4, Episode 4: The Voltron Show! (aka Bradley needs a raise and I shouldn't be starting to ship my fucking OC with Alfor)**

 **How...did this end up being...the second longest chapter in the fic. Holy shit.**

 **Kinda-sorta-poll at the end of this chapter!**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Sir," Bradley started.

"Don't."

Bradley pursed his lips. "Sir, this episode's script-"

"I am...very aware Bradley."

"Shall I get you the aspirin in advance, sir?"

"You're getting a raise, Bradley."

* * *

"The green clusters you see here, here, and here represent planets and in some cases entire sol-blah blah blah. Nope," Shiro chuckled. "Said that one too fast."

"This isn't even factually accurate!" Pidge protested.

"Well this is the LEGEND of Voltron, not the Documentary of Voltron," Coran scoffed. "Speaking of which, Allura, you'll be playing Keith."

Allura groaned and made a face, and Lance rolled his eyes back to hers, a tiny smirk on his face. "Hey babe. Back so soon?"

"If you try anything-" Allura teased.

"Nope. Shiro's bicep can rip me in half with one squeeze."

"...thank you?"

* * *

"Besides, playing Keith is easy. Just act really moody!"

"Hmm," Allura growled.

"There! You've done it! Right Lance?"

Lance gave a small grin. "Pretty much, yeah."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"All right, what's up?" Shiro demanded.

Lance looked up from the snack table, where he was picking up his donut that the crew had brought him. "What?"

Shiro moved to stand next to him, grabbing his own donut. "Talk to me," he said softly. "Keith called yesterday crying, said he ruined things, and now you're in there not joking around about Allura having to pretend to play him. What happened?"

Lance winced and set his donut back down, suddenly not hungry anymore. "I don't really want to talk about it Shiro."

"Lance, whatever happened, I-"

"Please," Lance whispered, his fingers curling into his palms and his shoulders hunching. His breath caught. "I really...really don't want to have to explain to makeup why they have to do my face again."

There was a long pause, and then Shiro settled his hand on Lance's back. "Okay, buddy. But we're going out for coffee after this and talking, okay?"

Lance sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

* * *

"I will...save the princess...even if it means taking on the Galra empire with my bare...hand." Shiro sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You won't have to do it uh...alone, because you'll have me. Hunk."

"And me. Pidge."

"And me! Lance. Holds Bayard dashingl- oh!"

"And me...Keith."

"Thank you, team, for always being by my side. Through thick or thin. Uh...Now come along, together we'll-"

"Defeat Zarkon!"

Coran slid in on his knees, wearing a bad wig. "My heroes!"

"Cut!"

"Who wrote those lines? Like I know they're supposed to be bad but yeesh," Pidge muttered.

Bradley frowned. "I thought they were just bad enough."

"You did wonderfully, Bradley," Alfor reassured him.

* * *

"They seep! While you sleep! The price is 12,000 GAK."

Coran scowled. "Would you take a used left shoe?"

"I'll accept the yellow Voltron Bayard."

"How about 14 nose hairs?"

"I'll take your left arm plated in luxite!"

"A firm handshake and a pat on the back then?"

"I get to ride on your shoulders for one decophebe!"

"WELL HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU SIX HUNDRED GAK AND DON'T TELL THE STAFF YOU'RE RUNNING AN UNLICENSED SWAP SHOP IN AN INTERGALACTIC HOSPITAL?"

"DEAL!"

"Cut!"

"How do you IMPROV that?" Hunk wheezed.

Coran and the merchant high fived. "Practice!"

* * *

"That last show was pretty lame," Lance admitted. He paused, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't know if you're cut out to be...I'm sorry, I wouldn't actually say that to Coran in show."

Alfor hesitated, glancing up in surprise. "What?"

Lance shuffled his feet. "I wouldn't actually be that mean to Coran. My character."

"Lance, it's a script."

Coran settled a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Lance. It doesn't bother me."

Lance sighed, slumping. "Fine."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Lance?"

Lance glanced up from where he was getting his makeup touched up for the next scene. Alfor hovered over him, hands tucked in his pockets and brows drawn together. "Yes sir?"

"Are you all right?"

Lance blinked. "What?"

Alfor shifted, pulling his hands out of his pockets and crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not like you to contradict your lines in that manner."

Lance shrugged, looking back to the mirror. "I'm fine."

Alfor pressed his lips together and slumped, running a hand over his beard. "Lance, if-"

"Can everyone just get off my back?" Lance snapped. He jerked away from the makeup artist, making her pause, and slid out of his seat, ripping the cloth from his neck and taking a breath. "Just...let me do my lines and go home."

He stormed off, leaving Alfor and the artist to look at one another nervously. "Bradley?" Alfor called.

Bradley stepped over, eyes flickering between Alfor and Lance's retreating form. "Yes sir?"

"Get me my phone, please."

* * *

"I don't know if this place is the best to get our message out to the widest audience," Shiro mused.

"Shirroooo, baby!" Coran drawled. "You're right! And I want what you want man! Why are y'all laughing?"

"What the fuck is that voice?" Hunk wheezed.

"My cowboy voice!"

"Coran, we asked you for a talent agent voice," Donna said, her tone filled with exasperation.

"Listen, it's what the people want, Donna!"

"I would fire you if I could."

* * *

 _Take One_

"OH NO. A LASER EYED MONSTER! WE NEED THE PALADINS OF VOLTRON!" Coran shouted.

Shiro and Allura leapt from backstage, flipping and leaping across the stage until landing solidly on the front. Shiro's foot slipped off the edge as he got too close and he yelped, falling into a crowd of pedestrians.

"I'm okay!" he called out.

 _Take Two_

Hunk rolled in from the side, using multiple somersaults to get across the stage, but his momentum carried him too far and he knocked into Pidge, who squawked and fell into Lance as he landed between them, who tumbled over and smacked into Shiro, who fell off the stage once more.

"Are you serious?" he groaned from the floor.

* * *

"KEITHINEEDYOURHELP!"

"I'MMONIIITTT!"

"LOOKOUISFIRINISLASERSSSSSS!"

Laughter came from the sidelines, and everyone froze, letting their weapons drop and turning to stare at Alfor, who was cracking up in his seat. "Oh my god we killed my father," Allura whispered.

"Holy shit," Hunk and Pidge said in unison.

* * *

Shiro sliced through the robot cleanly, somersaulting off the floor and popping back up onto his knee, once again too close to the edge of the stage. He didn't even try to stop the fall.

"Someone seriously needs to make this thing bigger."

* * *

"Bi Boh Bi Bi!"

Hunk spit his water out of his mouth. "Oh my god I was not expecting that," he choked.

Pidge just stared at the long, flexible, stick like object. "How the fuck?"

"Dave is up in the rafters," Alfor explained. "Bi Boh Bi is a puppet."

Everyone looked up and Dave waved down. Lance nearly fell over. "DAVE COULIER?"

"...yes?" Alfor managed.

"HOLY SHIT!"

* * *

"TONIGHT. THE PALADINS TAKE ON ZARKON. ON ICE!"

Bi Boh Bi scooted over to the podium, and his headset slid off of his head and onto the floor without warning. The puppet bent at the waist, staring at it, and Dave sighed in the rafters. "Can someone get that for me?"

"Soon you will defeat the paladins, and Voltron will be yours!"

"Not if I have something to say about it!" Hunk shouted, skating in. "Take that Zarkon! Ah!"

His legs slid out from under him and he went flailing into the wall. After a moment, he tilted his chin back to look at Alfor. "Did I forget to mention that I can't skate?"

* * *

"Oh no! The witch's magic has counteracted Pidge's math! WHAT are they going to DO?"

"How many pranks did Keith LEAVE?" Pidge grumbled from where she was tied up on the ground.

Alfor pressed his lips together. "That wasn't a prank. I just wanted a genuine reaction."

"I'm quitting."

"No you're not."

"Fine."

* * *

"Does anybody else feel kinda stupid right now?" Hunk whispered.

"Yup."

"Totally."

Of course."

"I'd be insane if I didn't."

"You guys!" Alfor whined.

* * *

"And last but not least, Shiro the Hero!" Coran shouted. He jumped up and held Shiro's arm into a muscled pose.

Shiro glanced at him, scowling. "Who said that thing earlier about my arms being able to kill someone?"

"Point," Coran chuckled, letting go.

* * *

"Zip it, muscles speak louder than words, that's always been my motto!"

"You're holding my arm again, Coran."

"Right."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Lance...it says here in your profile you took...pole dancing lessons?"

Lance grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, why?"

Alfor tugged on his beard, a twinkle in his eyes. "How do you feel about ribbon dancing?"

"Like...on the ground?"

"Not quite."

* * *

Lance descended shakily from the red lion's mouth, twisting his body around the rope he held and curling his legs outward.

"Rrrroow! You're great, Loverboy Lance!"

"Thanks Red."

"Cut! Perfect! Come on down, Lance!"

Lance swallowed and looked down at the ground fifteen feet below him. "No can do."

"Lance, there's a mat."

"No, I mean my harness is stuck."

"Seriously?" Alfor groaned.

* * *

"Bi Boh! Bi Boh Bi!"

"I have no idea what Bi Boh Bi is saying," Lance said.

Bi Boh Bi came flying up into his face. "How rude."

Lance yelped and shoved it away, turning to glare at Dave in the rafters. "Seriously? And wait...are these things made out of pool noodles?" he demanded, grabbing at Bi Boh Bi and studying the prop.

Alfor shrugged. "Budget cuts in the props department."

"That explains this whole episode," Hunk muttered.

* * *

"I'm so sorry guys. I shouldn't have trusted that strange Unilu," Coran said.

"Don't do drugs, kids," Shiro chuckled.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Shiro, you didn't have to actually take me out for coffee," Lance grumbled, crossing his arms and staring out the window as they sat in their booth.

Shiro had changed into jeans and a plain white t-shirt, and now he fidgeted with the hem before he spoke. "Lance...did you and Keith break up?"

Lance flinched and drew into himself, wrapping his arms around his torso. "Not technically," he murmured.

"Technically?"

Lance squirmed and looked down at his coffee mug. "We had a fight," he said finally. "Or I guess...I guess not a fight. I'm...I'm just a huge idiot."

"What makes you say that?"

Lance frowned and picked up a spoon, stirring his coffee aimlessly for a moment. It was well blended, didn't need it, but it gave him something to focus on. "I...without him here, I just feel like...like, I don't know. Like I don't...have anyone? And I took it out on him and...shit. God, he probably hates me now, I made him cry, and I snapped at Alfor, and I'm just-"

"Hey."

Shiro had moved to the other side of the booth so that he was sitting next to Lance, his knee lifted up onto the seat so that he was facing him. Shiro put both hands on his shoulders. "Lance. Keith does not hate you. He's terrified that he's going to lose you. Alfor talked to him during filming today."

Lance swallowed, looking up. "What?"

Shiro smiled, a little sad. "He called him. That's why Donna took over for a bit. He wanted to see if something was wrong, and then he talked to me about it later. Lance, I might not have known that you guys were dating for...well, for a long time. But I know my brother, and he loves you to pieces. And I care about both of you. You're clearly beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault. Talk to him. Long distance relationships are hard. And I'm sorry if-"

He paused as the waitress set down their orders, and when she was gone he turned back to Lance. "I'm sorry if we ever made you feel like we don't care about you on set. I know that...with how your character arc is going in the show, that's probably even harder. But we all care about you. You just gotta talk to us."

Lance shuddered, and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. Shiro pulled him in tightly, setting his chin on top of his head, and rubbed his back. "Call Keith tonight, okay? He needs you. His search...isn't going super well, and I think he's starting to give up."

Lance swallowed and nodded, pulling back and frowning. "Okay. Okay, I will. Thanks, Shiro."

"Of course, buddy."

* * *

 **So next chapter...the next episode, or Alfor's phone call to Keith followed by Lance's phone call to Keith? It'll be out either way before Season 7 (!) next week.**

 **:)**


	38. Phone Calls

**WHAT UP SEASON SEVEN IS TOMORROW**

 **The overwhelming majority of people wanted phone calls, so here they are. Excuse me while I go pass out from sickness now lol.**

* * *

Keith picked up his cellphone without thinking much about the ringing, assuming that it was Shiro calling in between shoots. He clicked the "on" button without looking and continued pouring over the map of Paris that he had been studying. "Hello?"

"Keith? Hi, it's Alfor."

Keith bolted upright, instantly more alert. Alfor never called him. "Sir? Is everything okay? Is Allura all right? The crew? The-"

"Keith," Alfor chuckled. "Everyone is all right, I promise. I'm sorry to have worried you."

He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back on the headboard. "Sorry. You just...never call. What's up? Do you need me to come back early for something?"

"No, no, the scenes you filmed before leaving are fine. I'm actually calling about uh...about Lance."

Keith stiffened and shut his eyes, a coil of emotion sitting low in his throat. "Sir, I don't know if it's appropriate-"

"I'm not your director right now, Keith," Alfor said gently. "Not your boss. Right now, I'm just...a father figure. And when people I care about suddenly snap, I need to know that they're okay. And Lance snapped."

Keith swallowed, struggling to stay calm. "And?"

"Is something going on between you two?"

His tone was so gentle, so comforting, that Keith found himself melting, tears gathering in his eyes at the concern in Alfor's voice. "I don't know," he whispered, drawing his knees to his chin and staring out the window at the dark city. "I...he was so upset the last time we talked, and I'm scared that..."

He trailed off, not sure how to continue, and Alfor spoke again, his voice a bit tighter. "Keith. Is Lance a danger to hims-"

"No," Keith spat out, certain of his answer. "No. I know that much. I just think he's...insecure right now. I'm...I can't blame him, really," he mumbled, pressing his nose into his knees.

"Would you like me to talk to him?"

Keith sighed. "I don't know that it would help. I don't even know what's wrong for sure. He just said he's worried that I would leave him, and I wouldn't, everyone there knows I wouldn't, but the parts in the script...I think he's just taking on a lot of his character again."

Alfor's voice was soft. "You believe the script has made him feel this way?"

Keith flinched. "No...maybe? A little? I don't know. He won't talk to me," he groaned. His voice cracked and Keith took a shaky breath. "I've called so many times, I've even called Shiro and Hunk, and he won't talk to me. I feel like I did something wrong."

"Keith, son, you're doing all you can," Alfor assured him. "Let me talk to Shiro, all right? I'll see if he can get through to Lance. How's the search for your mother going?"

Keith sniffled, knowing that Alfor was trying to distract him. "Not...not great. I followed the rumors to Paris. I'm hoping maybe she's here, but I just...I don't know for sure. If I find her...she might not even want me. She let me think she was dead, I don't know..."

His words cracked and Keith dug his fingers into his hair, his ears burning with humiliation. "I'm sorry, Alfor. I don't mean to-"

"It's okay, son," Alfor promised, and Keith jolted at the realization that this was the second time he had called him that. "I understand you're under a lot of stress. It's okay to be upset."

"Thanks, Alfor."

"Of course. It's late there, isn't it? You should get some rest, start in the morning with a fresh brain. I believe in you, Keith."

Keith shivered and nodded, shutting his eyes. "Thank you. For calling."

"Of course. Goodnight, Keith."

"Have a good shoot, Alfor."

"With these guys?" Alfor chuckled. "Doubt it."

Keith managed a laugh, and then he hung up. One more look at his map, and he shoved it aside, shut off the lights, and crawled under the covers.

His eyes fluttered shut almost immediately.

* * *

He had found her.

Or at least, he had found her next shoot. Le Champ de Mars, the green area just around the Eiffel Tower, was highlighted on his list. It had taken a lot of talking with the locals, a lot of flubbing up the tiny bit of French that Pidge had taught him, but he had gotten the answer.

She had a stage name, Krolana, and it was honestly kind of pathetic how Keith had never put two and two together, what with her actual name being Krolia.

He was so focused on planning out how he was going to greet her the next day, how he was going to do this, that he almost missed his Skype icon popping up in the corner of his computer screen.

 _Incoming video chat from Lance._

Keith froze, his fingers itching over the keyboard, and he slowly settled his pointer down on the track pad, clicking the accept button with more than a little bit of trepidation.

Lance bloomed onto his screen, his eyes rimmed red. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor of what looked like Shiro's apartment in the city, and his fingers were twisting nervously around each other. He glanced up at Keith and Keith saw his throat bob, his mouth twist.

"Hey," Keith managed, struggling not to lash out, not to cry, to just let him talk. "How are you?"

Lance snorted, glancing away from the screen. "I've been better," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "You?"

Keith glanced down at the highlighted section of the map. "I...same."

They lapsed into an awkward silence, Keith drumming his fingertips against his knees and Lance going back to fidgeting with his hands. After a long, tense moment, Lance took a breath.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Keith jolted. "What?"

Lance frowned, rubbing his jaw. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I didn't want you...to be upset over me."

"Lance, correct me if I'm wrong, but you...you tried to break up with me," Keith croaked, the reality of their last call weighing down on him.

The flinch in Lance's shoulders was visible, and fear coiled in Keith's gut. "Did...did you want-?"

"No!" Lance whined, whipping his head up. "God, no. I love you so much, Keith. I can't...I couldn't."

Keith relaxed a little, his pounding heart slowing. "Good. Good, because I love you too, you fucking dumbass."

Lance's mouth twisted into a small smile and he wiped at his eyes. "Rude."

Keith shifted on his bed, settling a hand into his chin. "Alfor said you snapped," he said softly.

"Yeah," Lance murmured, looking guilty. "Yeah, I did. He's a good guy, I need to apologize. I just...I was so tense, and everyone kept asking me if I was okay, and I wasn't, but I didn't want to talk about it, because I didn't want anyone feeling bad that I felt like shit and-"

"Lance," Keith interrupted, keeping his voice low. He hadn't realized just how much Lance had been struggling the last few days, and it stung at his chest. "Look at me, baby."

Lance shivered and looked up, eyes watery.

Keith laughed, soft. "I wish I could hug you right now. Just listen to me, okay? You're about to get uncharacteristically sappy Keith, and you're gonna deal with it."

Lance hiccupped, a smile on his face.

"I could never, ever think of finding someone else here," Keith breathed, putting as much emphasis as he could into his words. "First of all, I'm too focused. Second, I fucking love you, Lance. I've known you for years, I've seen you at your lowest, and I'm not fucking going anywhere. You mean everything to me, and if I have to say that to you every second of the day, I will. I can't...I can't lose you."

His voice dropped to a whimper, and Keith cursed himself as he felt tears well up. "Don't scare me like that, Lance. I can't...I can't lose you. Not when I can't even be there to fight you on it. I love you too much."

Lance nodded and ran a hand across his eyes. "Okay," he whispered. "Okay. I'm so-"

"No," Keith snapped. Lance jolted and looked up and Keith pressed his hands to his lips. "Do not apologize. Your feelings are valid, baby. Even if you think they aren't, even if your fears were just fears, they are nothing to apologize for. I should be apologizing to you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much you meant to me before just...flouncing off to Europe."

"I knew you were going," Lance murmured.

"Yeah, but I kept it from you for a long time," Keith retorted, looking down. "Too long. And I'm sorry."

They fell into another silence, this one less awkward, and finally Lance sighed. "I miss you," he whispered.

"I miss you too."

"Did you...how...?"

Keith could sense the underlying message and he managed a small smile. "I found her. Or...I found where she's going to be. Tomorrow."

Lance shrieked and in moments the rest of the cast, Allura and Coran included, were swarming the screen, screeching in joy. Keith jolted, very aware suddenly that his face was covered in tears, and started laughing. "How long have you all been there?" he chuckled, wiping his eyes.

"Since shooting ended," Pidge answered. Her smile was a mile wide. "We were all hanging out in the living room while Lance talked to you."

"Movie night," Hunk chimed in.

"You found her?" Allura said in delight.

Keith laughed and glanced at his paper again. "Yeah," he said, voice softening. "Yeah, I did. I hope..."

"Keith," Shiro murmured. Keith glanced up at his sibling. He had a tender smile on his face. "She'll love you."

"I sure hope so."

"She's absolutely bat shit if she doesn't," Coran grumbled.

Everyone turned to look at him and Coran shrugged, eyes twinkling as he twisted at his mustache. "What? Merely stating the facts, my boy."

Keith suddenly couldn't wait to go home.


	39. Begin the Blitz

**Season Four, Episode Five: Begin the Blitz**

 **Wow I am terrible at updating (take a shot).**

 **Guest: Yes, she will!**

 **ATimeInFantasy: Yes. The same way I will keep Lance and Keith dating behind the scenes regardless of outcome in the show. Because actors have relationships off screen that are not effected by their on screen ones.**

 ** _Italicized only_ is sign language, _"Italicized in quotes"_ is signing and speaking.**

* * *

"I'm sorry, hold on," Lance said, holding up his hands and cutting Shiro off in the middle of his speech. "Is that...a cardboard cutout of Keith on screen?"

Kolivan pursed his lips and looked up at the ceiling. "...no?"

"I will pay you fifty dollars for it."

"Pidge, no," Alfor groaned.

"Pidge yes."

* * *

"Now these canons can strike any target within our comb...combat thea...what the heck even is a combat theater?" Shiro groaned.

* * *

"Awwwww yeah!" Lance yelled, popping up behind Pidge and Hunk and slinging his arms around them. "Team Voltron's gonna drop in Naxela, form Hunk's giant laser cannon, and be all 'POW, POW, POW!' Easy peasey."

Pidge adjusted her glasses. "We've been OVER THIS, Lance, it's pa-chew, pa-chew, pa-chew!"

Shiro slapped his forehead. "No, no, no, it's blam, blam blam!"

Hunk shook his head. "Mm-mm, nope. It's-"

"Are you all still arguing over this? Really?" Keith laughed from the doorway.

"KEITH!" everyone shouted.

The cast bolted to him and he laughed, dropping his bag and allowing himself to be tackled. Alfor was grinning, and Bradley shot him a raised eyebrow. "Did you plan that, sir?"

"Oh absolutely. I knew they would fuck up this part, I just told Keith to wait for the perfect entrance."

"They fuck up every part, sir."

"Exactly, Bradley."

* * *

"If this works, the Voltron Coalition will possess a third of the Galra Empire's territory," Kolivan informed them. He paused, glancing behind him just in time to watch Keith shift aside the cardboard cutout of him. "Really?"

Keith looked up with a grin. "What? Come on, this is way better."

Alfor sighed. "Not a word in this scene, Keith. From the top, Kole."

* * *

"Zarkon called him a criminal. Lotor's on the run. As his generals, that means we're fucked."

"Ellie, this is a children's show."

"DreamWorks can suck my-"

"FROM THE TOP, PEOPLE."

* * *

"What about Narti? She trusted him. You saw where that got her."

Narti, off screen, lifted an eyebrow. She was out of costume, in jeans and a t-shirt, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. _Right here, guys._

Pidge, standing next to her, gasped. " _Holy shit, Narti is a zombie."_

Alfor took a swig of his water bottle. _"You're all the worst."_

* * *

"Lotor...what is this?" Ezor asked, staring at the space in front of them.

Lotor waved a hand, frowning. "A fucking green screen, that's what it is. What's the planet called again?"

"You're all fired."

* * *

"We heard about the Voltron coalition against Zarkon."

Hunk smiled. "Yeah, we heard about you too. Matt told us you've been helping with the coalition forces."

Rolo took his hand. "You guys really inspired all of us."

Beezer peeped out from behind Rolo's leg, buzzing at Pidge, and Pidge's lip quivered. She dove at the robot, only to collapse to the ground in a heap. "Oh Beezer!" she shouted, ignoring the snickering from Rolo, Hunk, and Nyma. "I can't stay mad at you!"

* * *

Coran slid over to Pidge and Matt, grabbing his mustache. "Always helps to have a pair of tech genius-gah!"

The hoverboard he was standing on slipped out from under him and he hit the ground with a sigh. "Could we possibly just use special effects this time, I'm terrible on this thing."

Alfor bit back a smile. "I suppose we have to."

* * *

"Pidge! We can't let them trip that alarm!" Hunk shouted, shoving at the robot holding him down.

Pidge shot her bayard and the commander was yanked back from the control panel and to the floor, only for Pidge to get thrown into him. She was tossed across the room, where she pushed off of the wall hard and slammed back into the commander of the ship.

He threw her into the ground, running for the console, only to get body slammed into the ground by Hunk.

Hunk sat up on top of the man, grinning, and after a moment tilted his head. "You good dude?"

The commander, actually the stunt coordinator, shimmied an arm out from under Hunk, lifting his hand up for a high five. "That was perfect, you two."

* * *

Keith leapt off the stairs, swinging his leg in mid-air and missing the Galra soldier by mere centimeters. He landed on the ground, paused, and looked back up. "Not gonna kill me, are you?"

The solider chuckled, lifting a gun to Keith's face. "Pew."

Keith gasped, a hand to his chest. "I'm offended."

* * *

"All ships form up and get behind that large ass! TEROID. ASTEROID."

"Olia, seriously? Seriously?" Alfor groaned.

* * *

Acxa stepped up behind Lotor and he turned, a small smile on his face that disappeared the moment she lifted her gun. "For Narti."

She zapped him and Lotor gasped dramatically, flailing backwards and collapsing to the ground. "I am...defeated," he groaned, clutching his chest. "Destroyed."

"Logan, would you please get off the floor? You were supposed to fall FORWARDS."

"I WILL DIE HOWEVER I PLEASE."

"You're not even dead."

"LET ME SUFFER."

* * *

"Here goes nothing," Keith grunted. He thrust his hands forward, holding the stance for several beats.

The room was quiet, and then Lance, off screen, snorted. "Great job on the nothing, babe."

"Special effects!" Keith whined.

* * *

"You do what you must. And I'll do what I must!"

Lotor rolled his arms up and over his head with a sickening cracking noise. Everyone on set instantly flinched, and Hunk flew off stage and into the nearest bathroom.

"That is...the most disgusting talent I have ever seen in my life," Shiro choked.

Logan rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So why did you come back early?" Hunk asked, flopping down onto Keith's sofa.

"Yeah," Pidge said, following suit and sinking down onto the arm of it, drawing her legs up under her. "I thought you said you had already filmed a lot of scenes, so you didn't need to come back?"

Keith, sitting on the carpet between Lance and Shiro, nodded. "You're right. I didn't. But my search was over, so there was no reason for me to stay in Europe any longer. Plus, I missed you guys. And acting."

Allura settled onto the floor with her back against the sofa, and Coran mirrored her on the other side. Her brows were drawn together. "Did you not speak to your mother?"

"No, I did."

Matt, leaning on the back of the couch, frowned. "Is...I mean, are you guys okay? You and your mom?"

Keith's lips twitched up. "Yeah. We are. We had a long conversation once I found her. Went out for coffee, sat down and talked. She couldn't come back because she has to finish up this film she's working on, but...I think she wants to try again. With me, I mean."

Lance reached out and squeezed Keith's hand. Keith laughed, squeezing back. "The best part is, she told me she left me and my dad because she didn't want us in the spotlight all the time."

Shiro snorted. "Clearly that didn't go well."

Everyone chuckled, and Coran shifted on the floor. "Will we get to meet her?"

Keith looked up with a sheepish grin. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."


	40. A New Defender

**Season 4, Episode 6: A New Defender**

 **I am really depressed today, so I thought maybe writing this out would help. It didn't. But here it is anyhow.**

* * *

"Sector Zarnium-whos-it is clear," Matt informed the team. "Let me see if I can get a line on that battle cruiser. Heeeeyyyyy, hot shot, how's it going? Kill anyone important today?"

Alfor shook his head in disbelief. "Seriously, how did you and Lance not start dating?"

"Do you want never ending puns?" Lance asked from the sidelines.

Matt grinned. "Cause that's how you get never ending puns."

"Point."

* * *

"Sorry, Shiro," Keith called. "That's it for artilary support – nope. Artilerr...art...fuck. Ar-till-a-ry. Jesus."

* * *

"Naxela's almost secure!" Shiro shouted. "We just need to take out the last of the heavy artilary – goddammit, Keith."

"Oh don't you pin this on me!"

* * *

"Lord Zarkon is busy leading the hunt for Lotor," Haggar droned. "I'm a strong, independent woman who don't need no man."

"Yeah, you tell him babe!" Zee shouted from the sidelines, mouth full of donut.

Alfor stared at them in disbelief. "Seriously, guys?"

"I'm TRYING to be a supportive husband, Alfor."

"You die in two episodes, Zee."

"Spoilers, man!"

* * *

"I could send a scout."

Zarkon scowled at the screen. "It's Lotor. All fleets, head for that bacon!"

There was an awkward pause, and then the female extra whooped. "HELL YEAH, BACON!"

"You're all fired," Alfor grumbled into his hands.

"Sir, you can't keep firing them. They might take you seriously one day."

"They don't take anything seriously, Bradley."

* * *

"Sire, we're too close to the sun! The cruither bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. Bleh. We're going to die."

"Fuck."

* * *

Haggar walked slowly down the hallway, methodical, shoulders firm and back hunched. She promptly tripped on her robes and fell on her face, the camera guy behind her nearly following at the sudden halt.

"You good, Aggie?" Alfor called.

Aggie grumbled into the floor. "Don't talk to me until Naxela is destroyed."

"I'm getting that on a mug," Pidge muttered.

* * *

"Uh...guys? What are those?"

Lance paused and Alfor instantly threw his clipboard in his general direction. "DON'T YOU DA-"

"WHAT'RE THOOOOSSSSEE?"

"Sir, please refrain from attacking the cast members," Bradley said, biting back a smile as he held Alfor down in his seat. Lance and Pidge were high-fiving on set.

"Fine. But I'm having an EXTREME talking to with the script writer."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"All right, I need you all to shout like you're being pulled down into the Earth by the sheer force of gravity, and make it seem like your eyeballs are gonna be sucked down through your skull and into the floors of your lions."

Everyone stared at the script writer for a long beat, until she finally lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

"How the quiznak are we supposed to know what THAT feels like?" Allura demanded.

"Use your imaginations!"

* * *

"We have to get out of here, or we'll be crushed!" Shiro shouted.

"Oh NOW we have to leave! But when Lance wanted to go-"

"Lance, oh my god."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"I'm sorry, we're jumping?" Hunk asked, peering over the railing as the safety manager hooked up his harness.

"Yes, but it's only about twenty feet," Alfor informed him, watching the process with a twinkle in his eyes.

Lance shifted his gun to his other hand for the intern to get to his other side. "Somehow, it feels like you're hoping the rigging will get messed up on our way down."

"What? Psshtt, no, of course not."

"Father."

"Fine, maybe a little."

"You're the worst, Father."

* * *

"Can you shut it down?"

"I can try," Allura promised. She stepped forwards, lifting her hand up, and held it towards the light. For a moment, nothing happened.

And then she was zapped with a slight electric shock and confetti exploded everywhere, making her yelp and backpedal, instantly whirling on Pidge.

Pidge, covered in confetti, threw her hands up. "Don't look at me!" she yelped. "I just did the shocking part!"

Off set, Zee and Aggie dissolved into giggles, and Allura shot them the finger.

* * *

"Matt, something's wrong. I can't reach Voltron."

"Well...fuck. Go out for drinks later if they're dead?"

"Works for me."

"You are the worst sibling, Matt."

"Love you Pidge!"

* * *

"What the FUCK is that?"

"Cut! Olia, the word is ruggle."

"What the fuck is a ruggle!?"

* * *

"I know we've had our differences in the past but-"

"Yeah you tried to kill us."

"Trap us in another dimension."

"Tried to kill us again."

"Stole stuff from us."

"More killing."

"BUT I THINK WE CAN PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES. YEESH."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"I still think that haircut looks awful," Keith chuckled as he walked into Shiro's room.

Shiro sneered at the mirror. "Yeah, I'm not a fan. But I'll survive. What's up?"

"Lance and I wanted to know if you and Allura wanted to go on like...a double date?"

Shiro blinked several times and then turned to Keith slowly, his brows furrowing. "You just got back a few days ago. I'd think that the two of you would want some alone time with all that happened."

Keith shrugged. "We talked it out. We're okay now. Besides, I missed you and Allura while I was gone, too."

"Keith, the public is aware that Allura and I are dating. If you and Lance come out with us...unless we go somewhere really private, are you guys ready for that kind of publicity?"

Keith smirked. "No way. That's why Lance got Pidge to rent us out a whole bowling alley for the night. She's got a childhood friend who's the manager there, apparently. Won't say anything. Whole cast is coming, actually. But double date sounded dorky enough to be up your alley."

"Was that a bowling pun?"

"...not intentionally."

"Lance is really rubbing off on you, huh?"

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not."

Shiro chuckled and ruffled Keith's hair as he walked past him towards the door, making the younger man squawk in protest. "Let's go, loser. I'm going to kick your butt."

"At bowling? We all know Matt or Coran is going to win."

"Good point. But I'm still going to kick yours."

"Dream on."

* * *

 **Time to go stare at the wall until work.**


	41. Between the Seasons: Bowling (for Soup)

**Chapter 41: Between the Seasons: Bowling (for Soup)**

 **Listened to Bowling for Soup while writing this chapter because how could I not?**

 **Badabingbadaboom: If you're not going to leave a polite comment or recognize that I have fucking depression, don't fucking comment, and definitely don't hide behind an anon feature. Your comment is the reason that I didn't update this sooner, so I sure hope you feel good about making everyone wait because you just HAD to be an asshole**. **But d** **on't take it as offense or seriously, sweetie. You don't have to :)**

* * *

"These outfits are ridiculous," Pidge muttered, glaring at her reflection in the van rear-view mirror.

"Yeah, they kinda remind me of the ones from the space mall," Hunk said. He tugged on his scarf, frowning, and glanced at Coran, who was driving. He had a small smile on his face. "You totally did that on purpose, didn't you."

Coran gasped, removing a hand from the wheel to place it over his heart. "I would NEVER," he protested in an appalled voice. "This bowling alley is in a public plaza, I am MERELY trying to prevent us from being mobbed."

Allura, in the passenger seat, shot him a look. "Right. Sure. All right. How much longer until I can take these absurd glasses off?" she asked, referring to the heart sunglasses on her face.

"Two ticks, Princess!" Coran said gleefully.

"Well if you keep talking like that, everyone is gonna know," Lance muttered from where he was shoved in the back row with Keith and Matt.

Shiro, next to Hunk, snorted. "You guys are just jealous."

"Um, yeah, you're wearing a football jacket and normal sunglasses! How did you even get away with that?"

"Talent, Matthew."

"He just wasn't there for the space mall," Coran informed them.

"I KNEW IT!"

"We're here!"

Pidge instantly unbuckled and ripped open the door. "Fucking finally, let's go."

"Language, young lady."

"I will GUT you, Shiro."

They all tramped inside quickly, Alfor's van following them quickly, and Pidge opened the door first, peering inside. "Taylor?"

A short, dark haired girl popped up from behind the shoe counter, grin wide. "Pidge! Hey! These must be your friends!"

Pidge nodded, leading the group inside, and walked up to the counter. "Yup. Who's on staff?"

"Just me and Reese. He won't say anything, promise. Boss told us if any word got out, we were both fired. We're holding him to that, too. Reese is setting up the lanes and stuff. Shoe sizes?"

The group started rattling them off, and Keith glanced at Pidge while they waited. "So how do you know her, again?"

"We dated in high-school," Pidge said, her tongue poking out while she tied her shoes.

Lance popped up from behind Keith, a shit eating grin on his face. "Ooh la la!"

"I will fucking strangle you with your shoe strings, Lance."

"Fair enough. I call lane one!"

He bolted, sprinting in his stockinged feet, and Keith rolled his eyes. Pidge shot him a sly grin. "You missed him, hmm?"

A smile slid across Keith's face. "How could anyone not?"

"HEY! LOGAN, I CALLED LANE ONE!"

"FIGHT ME, BLUE BOY!"

Pidge and Keith looked at one another, and then over at Shiro. "Shirooooo, the kids are fighting!" Pidge called.

"Want to take lane two?" Keith asked her, a grin on his face.

"Oh totally."

* * *

Two games and an hour in, the group started winding down, sinking into the provided chairs and ordering a few pizzas between them. Matt, Acxa, and Ezor ran off for the arcade with two rolls of quarters, Zee following them after only a bit of convincing from Aggie, who stayed in her seat and sipped at a coke with a smile on her face. Zethrid was fast to follow.

"I cannot believe you won," Lance was grumbling. He threw a piece of pepperoni at Logan, who stuck out his tongue with a smile.

"Technically I didn't," he pointed out. "Coran did."

"Yeah, but we all knew he would."

"Fair point."

They all looked up as Alfor walked over from the crew lanes, where techs and costume designers alike were still going head to head on the lanes. Their energy seemed to be never ending. "Who's winning over there?" Allura asked as her father sat down next to her.

He slung an arm around his daughter and shook his head. "Bradley, if you can believe it."

"TAKE THAT, MARCIA!"

"FUCK YOU, BRADLEY!"

The tables burst into giggles, and the crew turned and flipped them all off cheerfully before resuming their game play. Alfor shook his head. "How about over here?"

"Coran," everyone chorused.

"Matt's in second," Pidge said, nodding to the arcade, where they could see Matt and Acxa shoving each other around while playing DDR, Ezor filming them. "No surprise there."

"I'm in third," Logan said, sticking his tongue out when Lance flipped him off.

"Where did Zee and Zethrid go?"

"Probably having a Mario Kart competition," Aggie said, tapping away at her phone. "Those two are relentless."

"Like father like son," Lance grumbled, squawking when Logan shoved him playfully.

Alfor shook his head. "Thanks again, Pidge. I know the crew doesn't have to worry about this much, but it's nice to go out and about without fans and paparazzi everywhere. And they appreciate the free bowling."

"Yeah, you paid for this out of pocket?" Allura asked in surprise.

Pidge shrugged, a bit of color flooding onto her cheeks. "I dunno, it felt like everyone needed it. Sue me."

"Pidgeon does have a heart!" Hunk said in glee, returning with his arms stacked with pizza, Shiro at his side with a stack of plates and cups and napkins. Taylor carried two pitchers of water and two of coke, which she set down on their table. "You guys need anything else?"

Alfor nodded to the crew tables. "Send the same thing their way, if that's all right."

"Oh, Pidge ordered that already."

Everyone shot the girl a look and she meeped, sinking into her seat and covering her face with her hands.

"In that case," Allura said, turning her eyes back to Taylor as Shiro plopped down next to her and took her hand, "cosmic bowling?"

Taylor grinned from ear to ear, tilting her head Allura's way. "Done and done."

She disappeared just as Reese appeared from the kitchen to deliver the pizza to the crew table. They all whooped and shot thumbs ups in Pidge's direction and dove in.

"They're kind of scary when they aren't behind the camera," Hunk noted, pouring himself a glass of water.

"You're preaching to the choir here, Hunk," Alfor mumbled, grabbing at a piece of pizza.

The alley fell quiet while the groups ate, but the moment the lights lowered and turned purple, the room broke out in chaos. The music was turned up, lights scattering, and Coran was the first to dive back onto the lanes for round three.

Matt came sprinting back from the arcade, tickets wrapped like a scarf around his neck, with the others not far behind. "TIME TO DEFEND MY TITLE!"

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN FIRST!" Coran cackled as he ran past.

Matt scoffed, grabbing his ball and slamming his tickets down on the table. "You'll see about that, old man!"

Coran gasped in mock horror, and Matt proceeded to dramatically granny roll his ball down the lane, somehow still ensuring the perfect strike and prompting an impromptu dance session.

Logan reached over the table and stole Matt's tickets.

"Should we join them?" Lance asked, leaning over to Keith in a fake whisper.

Keith snorted and tilted his head closer. "I think we might actually be killed if we did that right now. Want me to kick your butt at skee ball?"

"Oh, it's fucking ON, asshole!"

They bolted from the table, racing one another to the arcade, and Pidge snorted, glancing at those still left at their table. "Bets on them just macking face?"

"I'm in."

"Same."

"Ten bucks."

"You guys are so rude," Shiro chuckled as he dug for his wallet.

Allura grinned. "I'm putting down fifty on them actually playing skee ball."

"Yeah right!"

"No way!"

"Sure," Pidge snorted.

* * *

Allura won back her bet easily and then some, leaving Lance and Keith to shake their heads at the sight of money moving around the table. Both of them were covered in tickets and sweating.

"Come on, seriously?" Keith whined, though his tone was playful.

"Can you blame us?" Hunk asked as he forked over five.

Lance scoffed. "Have you MET us? Hello, I'm Competitive Asshole and this is my boyfriend, Competitive Dick."

"Fair point."

"How come I'm the dick?"

"I think we all know why," Pidge muttered into her cup.

Alfor choked on his pizza.

Coran and Matt tied in bowling and demanded a rematch for the next week.

The tech crew broke their lane's bumpers.

Lance got a tiny stuffed hippo with his tickets, Keith a small dolphin, and they traded. Lotor exchanged his stolen ones for a princess crown and wore it proudly on his head as Matt chased him out of the building in mock outrage.

Allura and Shiro tipped Taylor two hundred bucks as they all walked out after them

"You totally did that to win Pidge back," Reese muttered as they cleaned up the floors around the tables.

Taylor shrugged, throwing a rag at him. "You can't prove anything."

"You owe Pidge fifty bucks. There wasn't any dirty nonsense going on."

"She knew there wouldn't be, that jerk. She totally played me."

Reese shot her a sly grin and Taylor picked up her rag she had thrown at him and threw it again, this time thwapping him solidly in the face. "Shut it, you fuck."

* * *

 **Seriously guys, I try to update this as often as I can mentally (and physically, with my job). Comments absolutely do help me want to update, but not ones that trivialize my mental illness or demand updates. Reminder that fic writers do what we do for free.**

 **Season five coming up next.**


	42. The Prisoner

**Season 5, Episode 1: The Prisoner**

 **WHAT UP. I forgot how much I loved this episode y'all, like it's...such a good Matt episode. So good.**

 **OppsieDasi: Was there any doubt she would be? If that girl is anything but pan and ace/demi, I quit lol (not really but those are my personal hc's for her)**

 **Thank you so much to everyone for the kind comments! I am feeling much better mentally, probably because I got back into Miraculous and so I've had more inspiration for writing in general (I've posted...a lot on my AO3 account lol. Might post a few here too).**

 **On to the chapter, ft. gay Matt Holt, old, forgotten YouTube video references, and very, very done Alfor (when isn't he though?)**

* * *

"Oh no! We're trapped!" Lance shouted.

Shiro shook his head. "No we're not. There's another way out. Form Voltron!"

"Cut! Perfect, for once," Alfor grumbled under his breath.

"Isn't there like, lava coming up under us in this scene?" Hunk asked, glancing down at where he had stashed his script.

"Yes," Allura said. "Wouldn't it actively incinerate us while we do the transformation sequence?"

"Oh yeah totally," Pidge confirmed, adjusting her glasses.

"At least you finished the scene?" Bradley managed, shooting a side glance at Alfor.

Alfor just sighed and put his head on his clipboard. "It's the little things, Bradley."

* * *

"Stand down. Voltron is no more."

Lance burst in through the side wall, bayard aimed at the extras. "THINK AGAIN, FUCKERS!" he screamed as Hunk and Pidge burst in behind him, charging at the fleeing cast members.

"This is what we get for not having Keith on set today," Alfor muttered.

"Sir, he'd probably have joined him."

"God, you're right."

* * *

Allura and Shiro stood silently in the elevator, Allura's arms crossed as they stared at the green screen for an uncomfortably long time.

"HEY!" Lance shouted from off set. "YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!"

Pidge whooped and Shiro grinned, leaning over and pecking Allura on the cheek before she could retaliate. Pidge's whooping got louder and Alfor thunked his head back on his chair. "I quit," he muttered.

"Sir, no one else would direct this if you did."

"Tell Donna she gets a raise if she does."

"If you quit you can't authorize that."

"Fuck."

* * *

"The facts speak for themselves. The Galra empire is completely reliant on quint-whatever."

"Cut! Logan, it's quintessence, you know this."

"How come Keith got to do it?!"

"This argument again? Seriously?"

* * *

"And your solution was to send Voltron to do your dirty work?" Allura demanded.

"Only Voltron could retrieve the trans-reality comet," Lotor protested. "So yes, I'm afraid I had to be a bit...duplithitus...duplith-a-tis...duplic...can't I just say evil?"

"No."

* * *

"Sounds like you are your father's son."

"It was YOUR father who led the scientific exploration that discovered quint...whatever! Isn't that RIGHT, Alfor?"

Everyone turned to look at Alfor, who simply took a breath and rubbed his eyes. "I'm taking five and getting coffee. Don't break the set while I'm gone."

* * *

"If I'm expected to lead this, I need to know what I'm talking about."

"Yeah, but no one expects you to memorize EVERYTHING," Lance protested. "We can have a script screen for you, or you could jot some notes down on the inside of your hand. I mean I do it all the...uh, time."

Allura squinted at him and Lance grinned. "I'm kidding!"

"Did they really just do the verbal version of the 'squints at smudged writing on hand' meme?" Pidge whispered to Hunk.

"Oh totally."

* * *

"Did you complete your raids on the targets we sent you on our last communica...are you still using the cardboard cutout of Keith?" Shiro asked in disbelief.

Kolivan grinned. "What? It's so tiny! It makes me feel like a giant!"

"But he's ON THE OTHER SET WITH YOU!"

Keith popped his head on screen next to his cutout, a grin on his face as he waved. "This means less work for me, though!"

"Are you guys serious?" Alfor groaned.

* * *

"Every lead I've provided you so far has been un-erring, exthact, and relathively eathy...ugh, hold on, these fangs are killing me."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So, what's it like being related to Pidge?" Nyma asked, glancing at the girl in question, who was getting her makeup touched up before the next take.

Matt rolled his eyes. "A lot of bruises, let me tell you. And confetti. Once she put glue in my shampoo bottle, so I filled the butter container with mashed potatoes."

"...yikes."

"How about Rolo?" Matt asked, nodding to the man, who was grabbing a donut and talking to Lance.

"Oh, we're not related. Just known each other since college," Nyma said, shooting Matt a sly look. "Why? Interested? I could totally hook you up."

Matt smirked, shrugging and taking a non-chalant sip of his coffee. "I wouldn't be... _entirely_ opposed. That vest over nothing else is...woo."

"Copy that."

* * *

"Annnndddd...action!"

Rolo leapt from the edge of the drop zone, Nyma and Beezer following close behind. Matt hesitated for just a second, watching as their descent slowed thanks to the ropes holding them up, and Alfor held up a hand. "Matt? Why didn't you jump?"

"I know my sister. She totally did something to the rig."

Pidge scowled, crossing her arms. "Dang it."

"Tech, get that rig checked out, please. Pidge, I'm confining you to your lion set until the end of the shoot."

"Aw, come on!"

* * *

The doors opened one by one, revealing empty cell after empty cell. Matt raced to each individual one, sometimes getting a face full of camera, his expression becoming more and more distraught as he went.

When the last one opened to reveal yet another camera, he threw his hands up. "Why is everyone here a camera and not my father?!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You know," Matt muttered, eating a handful of popcorn as he watched the final cut with the rest of the cast. "If we had actually been in a spaceship and the lion had caught us like that, when she turned the lion over we totally would have been flung around and probably killed instantly."

"Way to look on the bright side of things," Rolo snickered, throwing popcorn at Matt, laughing harder as he smugly caught it in his mouth.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Pidge," Matt said, his voice soft.

Pidge's face fell and she rushed towards the door, Matt holding out an arm to stop her. "No. Dad! Dad, where are you?"

"He wasn't there," Matt said firmly. "He was already gone."

Tears streamed down Pidge's cheeks and the siblings sank to the floor, clinging to one another. "No," she whimpered.

"Don't give up, Pidge. We know Dad's alive. We'll find him."

"Cut! Nice work, you two."

"Sibling pile!" Lance shouted, flinging himself on set in his everyday clothes, his arms curling around Pidge quickly. She laughed as Hunk and Shiro piled into the tiny lion cockpit set, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. Matt was smushed against her, laughing as well.

"Guys, it's fine," she protested, squirming against the grip. "You know I can cry on command!"

"Too bad!" Shiro declared gleefully. "Rules state sibling hugs when there's an emotional scene."

"What rules?" Matt asked incredulously.

Lance shook his head, thunking it down on Matt's shoulder with a mischievous smile. "Best not to question it."

* * *

"Paladins of Voltron," Zarkon growled. "I am making a one-time offer. I have someone of value to you."

He turned aside, revealing Sam Holt, and Sam grinned, waving. "Hi kids!"

Pidge waved cheerfully. "Hi, TV Dad!"

"Sam, not you too," Alfor groaned.

"What? I just wanted to say hello to my fake children!"

"Silence, peasant!" Zee ordered, a grin on his face.

"You are not very nice company, sir."

"I try not to be."

* * *

 **Let me just say, next chapter will probably be filled with like...a million bad dad jokes (aka the only kind).**

 **Side note, remember a couple chapters back when I joked about making that mug with "Don't Talk to Me Until Naxzela is Destroyed" on it? Well uh...I actually made it and added it to my Redbubble lol, which is linked on my profile page. So if you genuinely wanted it, it's there for you!**


	43. Blood Duel

**Season 5, Episode 2: Blood Duel**

 **What up, it's NANOWRIMO! I'm probably not gonna do a novel this month (maybe), but I am forcing myself to write at least a thousand words everyday, so hopefully I can have this fully up to date through season 7 before the final season airs. Fingers crossed.**

 **KeepOnMarchingOn: Any time. I write for myself, but I also write for other people, this fic specifically. I can't count the number of messages I've gotten since I started this fic thanking me for giving readers something to brighten their days. I didn't expect this fic to get so popular, but I'm glad that it's had such a positive impact on everyone. *hugs* good luck. I understand where you're at, and looking at the small things to make you feel better genuinely helps, even if it feels silly.**

 **wolfstreak: Thank you so much! I appreciate all the kind words. And don't worry, I always have ideas for gay Pidge.**

 **Onwards.**

* * *

"Are you sure this is the place?" Matt asked.

Shiro scoffed. "Am I sure this is the place. No, Matthew, I just flew us into a completely different place for the fun of it."

"Rude."

* * *

"He would surely see to my demise. And with his most legitimate threat to the throne removed, he would only grow stronger. Right pops?"

"Absolutely son!" Zee called from off set.

"Can you two please not?" Alfor groaned.

* * *

"Think of my FATHER!" Pidge snapped.

Lance slid over to her, flinging an arm around her shoulders, misjudging his momentum, and sending them both toppling to the floor.

"You two all right?" Alfor called.

"Please stop waxing the set floors before our takes," Lance groaned.

* * *

Haggar trudged carefully down the steps and stepped into the glowing pool of water at her feet, squealing as soon as her bare sole touched the floor. She lifted her skirts up and scowled down through the glowing liquid.

"Who put mud at the bottom of this?" she demanded.

Pidge and Logan bumped fists.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"How's the fake pregnancy belly?" Allura asked, sipping on a cup of tea.

Aggie scowled down at the bulbous object, shifting it on her middle. "Stupid and heavy. I'm an alien, for gods sake, why couldn't I just...vomit the baby out or something?"

"That would be...only mildly traumatizing for viewers, I suppose."

* * *

"This whole thing is like making a deal with the devil."

"You know what they say about deals with the devil!" Coran hummed, twirling his mustache.

There was a long pause, everyone looking at each other, and then back to Coran, who was clearly waiting for a comment.

"Uh...what do they say?" Hunk asked.

"They're so complicated it's like going to hell and back!"

Everyone groaned and Alfor pressed a hand to his mouth, shutting his eyes. "Take two," he whispered.

* * *

Lotor and Sam walked towards each other slowly, purposefully, Sam's eyes never leaving the ground and Lotor's focused straight ahead.

As they got closer to each other, Sam looked up and gave a bright grin. "Lotor, my boy! You're so thin, what kind of father would do that! I'm adopting you."

Logan snickered and flung his arms wide. "Father!"

They embraced in a goofy hug and Zee lifted a middle finger. "TRAITOR!"

"LOVE YOU DAD!"

* * *

"Zarkon's fleet are moving in!" Coran shouted.

Lance scowled. "Everyone get to your lions. We need to protect our team and get Sam."

"Thanks, surrogate son!"

"No problem, surrogate Dad!"

"Sam, I swear, I will have Zethrid throw you out a window," Alfor muttered.

* * *

The camera panned over the trio, posed in menacing stances, and Pidge scowled. "HEY! Let my Dad GO!"

She paused, and then frowned. "Is that like, really the most menacing thing I can say? Really?"

"Pidge-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, from the top."

* * *

"You'll always be weak. You have Altean blood running through your veins, poisoning your very being. Finally, my darkest shame can be wiped from the universe forever."

Lotor clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath, and then held up a hand. "A moment, please?" he asked Alfor.

Alfor tilted his head and Logan sighed, pressing his hands to his face and breathing. Zee removed his helmet and stepped over to him, concern lacing his features. "All good?"

Logan pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, just...hard to hear those things. Especially after my actual father-"

"Ay. Thought we were clear, I'm your dad now."

"I'm going to kill you in like five minutes."

Zee grinned and tugged Logan in for a quick hug. "All the more reason to be a dad now. Want to hear a joke about paper?"

Logan groaned and tore away from Zee's grasp. "Makeup!"

"Aw, come on, it's tear-able!"

"MAKEUP!"

* * *

Acxa dove at Pidge, knocking her off the console, and Pidge squawked. "DAD, GET THE CONTROLS!"

They hung there for a moment, and then Pidge glanced at Acxa. "Letting go of me any time soon?"

"Aw, but you're so small and huggable!"

"I can kill you seventeen different ways."

"Small and huggable."

* * *

"NO!" Lotor shouted.

He dove, driving his sword down, straight into Zarkon's chest. It bounced off with a small "thwack" and Zarkon feigned a gasp. "I am...betrayed. I am deceased. My own son..."

"Oh my god, it's being done in post guys," Alfor groaned.

"We know."

"I hate you all."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You know, I'm actually going to really miss you," Logan commented as he scrubbed off the last of his purple face paint.

"Gee, thanks," Zee chuckled, shoving the younger man.

Logan grinned and pulled his fangs out, rubbing off the glue from his teeth with a damp cloth. "I'm therious," he lisped, wrinkling his nose. "You've made set...a lot of fun. So thank you."

Zee smiled warmly and clapped him on the back, squeezing his shoulder. "Hey. I may not be on set anymore, but I'm still here for you if you need anything. You know that."

Logan glanced sideways at him and straightened, smiling. "I know. Come on. Heard the others got you a cake."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But I tried to kill them like, all the time."

Logan laughed as they stepped out of his dressing room and towards the lobby, where, sure enough, the whole place was covered in purple balloons and streamers and a "Thanks For Not Killing Us!" banner over the door.

The main cast stood in the center of the room talking and laughing, Allura holding the aforementioned cake in her hands. On it was a drawing of Zarkon flipping everyone off, and Zee started cracking up at the sight of it.

"SURPRISE!" everyone shouted, and he was being hit from all sides by confetti and glitter, most definitely constructed by Pidge and Aggie.

He laughed and wiped the glitter from his face. "Thanks, guys."

Allura handed over the cake and he obliged everyone in taking photos with it, eventually actually getting to eat a piece and mingle with the others.

"You excited to get back home to Lila?" Lance asked as they watched Keith and Logan go head to head in a game of Twister.

Zee nodded. "Oh definitely. She's getting so big so fast, I'm ready to see her all the time and not just between seasons."

Lance hummed. "You gotta let me come babysit sometime."

They watched as Keith tackled Logan to the mat, both of them laughing and fighting one another. "Only if you don't bring Keith. I feel like Lila would get crushed."

"Oh totally. That, or she'd have him wrapped around her little finger in five seconds flat."

"That isn't hard to do," Zee noted.

Lance grinned. "Good to know."

* * *

 **Haven't done a serious message in a while, but this is just a shout out to any readers I might have in Pittsburgh in regards to the recent shooting. I grew up in that town my whole life, one of my friends lost a family member in the shooting, and if any of you are reading this for a pick me up, just know that I'm thinking of you and am wishing you the best through all of this. We've got a lot to fix in this country, and it seems like a struggle, but keep going. The world needs you. If you need to talk about the event, send me a PM.**

 **See y'all soon.**


	44. Postmortem

**Season 5, Episode 3: Postmortem**

 **What's this? An UPDATE? Less than two days LATER? Expect more, lol, because NaNoWriMo is sure to kill me.**

 **I miss Keith. I can't wait until he's a regular character in this series again.**

* * *

"That is why the Olkari are grateful Voltron is here until our defense systems are fully operational. I fear tumulth...to-mulch-to-us...tu...what does that word even mean?" Ryner demanded, looking at Pidge in exasperation.

"Not a clue."

* * *

"Galra central command has confirmed the reports, general. Emperor Zarkon...is dead."

"QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD!" Zee shouted from off-set, where he was discussing payment with the financial manager.

The sentry wiped a tear from his eye. "Sometimes I can still hear his voice."

* * *

"Guess this is a thing now."

"I suppose we'll all have to get used to it. Like my Zabloovian intestinal eel!"

"I'm sorry, your WHAT now?" Hunk demanded.

"What the fuck?" Shiro whispered, backing slowly away from Coran as he rubbed his stomach.

"Can you all just deal with his lines, please?" Alfor asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You've worked with them for like, five seasons."

"Okay, but that one was WEIRD!" Lance argued.

* * *

"Putting Lotor on the Galra throne is what we've been discussing."

"Yeah, but no one told us we'd be flying into a war zone," Pidge said.

Hunk frowned. "Isn't that what we do like, every day on this show?"

"Yup."

"Pretty much."

"Like that's the whole plot of the show."

"Guys, come on!"

* * *

"Shiro, we're all on the same side here."

"I told you to STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Lance backpedaled, tripping over Pidge's foot and hitting the ground hard. He groaned and rubbed his back as Shiro knelt, chuckling and holding out a hand. "Sorry buddy. You good?"

"I stayed out of it too hard."

* * *

"Whoever comes through that door next will likely be our undertaker."

Zethrid scowled. "Whoever comes through that door next is gonna get a FISTFUL OF FACE – nope, not how that works."

The door opened slowly and the trio stood back, eyeing Haggar warily as she stepped inside. "Are you here to kill us?" Ezor asked.

"No," Haggar droned. She paused, lifting her head. "Come with me if you want to live."

"Cut! Aggie, those are not the lines."

"Yeah but they work so much better."

* * *

Lance grunted as he cowered into his arms, hiding from the training lasers and shutting his eyes. He spun, swinging the sword now in his hands, and slammed the side of the blade into Allura's hip.

"Oh my god!" he squawked, letting the sword clatter to the floor and darting to Allura's side. "Are you okay?!"

Allura snorted, her shoulders shaking with laughter, and carefully stood from where she had been doubled over. "That'll teach me not to get too close again."

* * *

"Quiznack! Now Voltron is offline!"

"If the plasma mass has the properties of a computer," Sam mused, "there must be some way to hack into it and shut it down."

Matt frowned. "Conceivably. If we could just - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what person my age says conceivably?"

"You do. Now shush and do it again."

* * *

"It's the Galra," Coran realized. "This is all their doing. Wait, hang on, who ELSE'S DOING would it be?!"

"Coran-"

"Like this WHOLE SHOW is about battling the Galra!"

* * *

"Lance...Lance listen to me-"

Lance frowned and leaned forward. "What?"

"I...am your father."

"I quit," Alfor muttered. "I quit."

"Sir, you get paid next week," Bradley reminded him.

"...I quit next week."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You made me..."

"Yes."

"An anime."

"Yes."

"Alfor I fucking love you."

"Okay, Lance."

* * *

"Hey, Shiro. What were you trying to tell me in that void thing earlier?" Lance asked.

Shiro frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You were shouting at me, but I couldn't hear you."

"Oh yeah, that. Probably that you were really, really gay."

* * *

The doors opened and Ezor walked in, flanked by Acxa and Zethrid. She had a grin on her face. "Look who we found."

From the darkness, a tall shadow stepped forward, only to reveal Coran in heels and wearing a cape. He struck a pose as the set burst into giggles and Alfor face palmed.

"Where...is Sendak?" he managed.

Coran gestured towards the lobby. "Oh he called a few minutes ago. There's a traffic jam."

"And no one thought to TELL ME?"

"It was funnier this way," Acxa said.

Coran tripped over the heels and fell on his face.

* * *

 **Reviews are lovely!**


	45. Kral Zera

**Season 5, Episode 4: Kral Zera.**

 **Oy hello it is almost Thanksgiving and I need to sleep for an eternity.**

 **Guest: No. This is a lighthearted fic (with occasional spurts of emotional angst), no one will be getting injured. Beyond the comedic "getting accidentally kicked" or someone falling, there won't be any injuries that can't be fixed with an ice pack or a bandage.**

 **3c: Please take care of yourself? In the hospital? Feel better!**

 **OppsieDasi: That is what I'm here for, friend. Lots of love!**

 **I'm taking a nap after I post this lol.**

* * *

The Blade members leapt to the floor nimbly, landing soft on their feet in a crouch and then standing slowly, taking in their surroundings.

Keith jumped after them, aiming for landing on one foot and one knee and accidentally toppling over into one of the other members. "Sorry," he wheezed as they fell on top of him.

"Keith, did you even practice that jump?" Donna asked.

"To be fair," Keith grunted, "they are acrobats, and I am most definitely not."

* * *

"War lord, huh? I'm guessing you don't get that title by being nice."

"Yeah no shit."

"Logan!"

"What?"

* * *

"Because she's not Galra, and therefore not eligible to rule, she probably has a puppet already. Someone she can control and manipulate."

"Oh, like Kuron?" Pidge asked.

Everyone looked at Shiro, who threw the group finger guns, and Alfor groaned. "Can you guys just...not? For five seconds?"

* * *

"I've conquered more worlds than you've ever seen with just a swipe of my finger."

"Kinky."

Donna sighed and pressed her head against her clipboard. "Now I know how Alfor feels," she muttered to Keith, who was standing alongside her and grinning.

"You have no idea."

* * *

"Hunk? What are you doing? Why are you single modulating the gendo-cam?"

"Settle down Pidge. It's a gendo-cam, not a vlexigain, mm'k? Single modulation is fine."

"You should double modulate everything."

"Are you crazy? That's a waste of a button press!"

"Cut!"

Pidge glanced up and Sam halted from where he had been walking in. "What? Did I say it wrong?"

Alfor shook his head in disbelief. "No, you said it all completely right."

"So you're stopping us because?" Hunk asked, rolling his hand in the air.

"I just need a moment to let it sink in."

* * *

"I've never seen him like that. It was weird. Almost as weird as double modulating."

"You two bicker like an old married couple," Lance shouted from off screen.

"UP YOURS, SANCHEZ!"

"At least we got the take in, sir," Bradley said, patting Alfor on the back.

* * *

"He isn't on the ship," Allura realized, pressing against the holo-screen. "His lion's gone, too. Where's Lotor?"

"Oh they're totally making out in the black lion," Shiro said from where he stood at the snack table, nodding his head sagely.

Logan, next to him with a donut in hand, nodded. "Yeah, definitely."

* * *

"What makes you think you can lead the Galra Empire?" Sendak demanded.

Lotor lifted his sword. "My name is Inigo Montoya. I killed my father. Prepare to die."

"Wrong franchise," Alfor muttered. "And it doesn't even make SENSE."

* * *

"My first act as emperor will be to reunite you with my late father!" Lotor shouted, charging at Sendak.

"That's gaaaaayyyyyy," Lance, Hunk, and Pidge chorused off screen.

Logan flipped them off cheerfully.

* * *

Sendak charged at Lotor with his fist raised, swinging hard. Lotor went flying into the air, towards the top of the steps, and froze, dangling five feet from the ground by his harness. He kicked his legs feebly and then sighed, drooping his head and his arms. "Would someone mind terribly?"

Pidge grinned, raising her cellphone. "Not at all."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Took you all long enough to get back here," Lance teased as he watched the crew move from site B back into the main stage, Donna talking with Alfor and pointing to various places on the script.

"Yeah, well, we finished filming before you, so what does that say about us?" Keith asked, eyes glittering as he took a swig of water and prepared for his next scene.

"We literally can't finish the episode without you guys over here."

"Say whatever you need to make yourself feel better."

"Oh, stuff it, Mullet."

"Now _they_ fight like an old married couple," Hunk chuckled, nudging Pidge in the side.

"Tell me about it."

* * *

Keith dove from the doorway, tackling Lotor around the waist and sending both of them flying down the stairs as the explosion ripped out from behind them, swirling around Sendak's body. They landed on the ground in a tangled heap, Keith kneeling over Lotor's body.

Shiro hooted. "KISS!"

Keith lifted an eyebrow and glanced at Lance, who was rubbing his chin and nodding. "Oh yeah, I'd totally be into that," he decided.

Logan guffawed and shoved Keith off of him with a laugh. "Not a chance, boys."

* * *

Keith leapt up from the ground, climbing the Galra in front of him, and kneed her in the chin, hearing an audible crack as she was flung backwards. He yelped and dropped to the floor, rushing to her side. "Ohmygod are you okay, I didn't mean to actually fucking hit you shit!"

She laughed and rubbed her jaw, despite the watering in her eyes. "I'll live," she croaked. "Damn, son, watch who you go around kneeing in the face."

"Can someone get an ice pack please?" Alfor called. "Take ten, guys."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"All right, explain it to me one more time."

Pidge adjusted her glasses. "Keith and Lance are dating, Shiro and Allura have been dating for a while but are way less touchy-feely in public than Keith and Lance, Hunk and Shay are dating, but she's not on set very often because she's a side character, Matt is trying to hook up with Rolo, and Nyma's got a girlfriend. Oh, and everyone is pretty certain that Bradley is trying to get with Alfor."

Logan nodded, rubbing his chin and surveying the break room and everyone in it, most of the cast hovered around the snack table eating pizza and donuts. "Right. And Coran has a husband, of course."

"Yeah."

"So how much am I able to put down on Bradley and Alfor? Because those two are definitely banging."

Pidge wrinkled her nose. "Gross. But yeah, put down as much as you want. Since Keith and Lance came out, for lack of a better word, there hasn't been much of a pool anymore. Except for when Shiro or Allura is gonna propose, obviously."

"Fantastic. I'll have fifty bucks to you by tomorrow."

"It's on."

* * *

 **Lol rip NaNoWriMo I've been working literally non-stop and I am...so tired and so behind. I need a day off asap.**


	46. Bloodlines

**Season 5, Episode 5: Bloodlines**

 **Shiranai Atsune: Oh absolutely. Definitely. 100%.**

 **DestinyDragons101: Yay! I'm glad! Feel better soon!**

 **...**

 **Cool hey I can't BELIEVE I have to say this 46 chapters in, but if you're not supportive of the LGBT community, get the FUCK out of my fics. If you're upset that they're getting happy endings and not being treated like garbage UNFOLLOW ME. I'm a bisexual woman who wants happy, positive lgbt relationships in media, so god forbid I write them for myself and for other people to have. Heterosexual couples might be the norm in other media, but it certainly isn't the norm in mine (or in actual life?), so get used to it or get out.**

 **Somewhat related, if you're racist, transphobic, islamaphobic, or xenaphobic in any way, you are not welcome here and never have been. I try very hard to write fun, representative content for everyone, and if you can't support that, then I am not the author for you.**

 **That being said, on to the next chapter.**

* * *

"Tell Iverson next time I see him, I'm gonna kick his ass for strapping me to that table."

"Shiro! TV Y7!"

"Fuck that!"

* * *

"Oh and you probably don't want to see Lance's either since it's probably just a lurv message to Jenny Shaybon."

"Ohhh should I be jealous?" Keith teased from off screen.

"Oh totally," Hunk said with a nod.

Lance grinned and shoved him.

* * *

"I love you both so much."

"We love you too, Dad."

"There...there is a lot of space dust in here."

"It's FILTHY!" Coran cried, clinging to Lance and sinking to the ground, dragging both him and Hunk down to the floor with him.

"Pile on Coran!" Pidge whooped, flinging herself on top of the group.

Keith joined, followed by Allura, and Shiro and Sam shrugged and dove in as well. Alfor shook his head. "Guys, that floor really is disgusting."

"And who's fault is that?" Donna teased.

"You're fired, Donna."

"You sure you want to handle all this alone?"

"...never mind."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So who IS playing my mom? I haven't met her yet," Keith noted, leaning against the snack table as Alfor grabbed an apple.

Alfor grinned. "You mean you weren't paying attention during Kole's briefing? How rude of you, Keith."

Keith snorted and threw a chip at the director. "It's a green screen. And we're not even done shooting the scene yet, since Pidge set off that smoke bomb. Seriously, I wanted to run lines."

"Run them with Lance. And I really have to put eyes on Pidge like, 24/7, don't I?."

"Probably. And Lance doesn't take it seriously, it's weird. I mean, usually he's really good about running lines, but I think the knowledge that she's my in-show mom makes it weirder for him."

Alfor chuckled and bit into his apple. "I'm sure it does."

* * *

"Her name is Krolia," Kolivan said, glancing sideways at Keith.

Keith choked and spun on Alfor, turning his back to the green screen. "Is this some kind of messed up joke?" he demanded, flinging his arm back at Kole. "Seriously? That's shitty, Alfor."

Alfor frowned, glancing at the rest of the cast, who were glancing back and forth between the confrontation. Lance was smiling impishly, and he leaned over to whisper something to Hunk, who instantly brightened and turned to Shiro. Alfor looked back at Keith. "I'm not sure what you're getting at, Keith."

Keith scowled and crossed his arms. "That's messed up, sir. Like really fucking messed up."

"Get him off script for five seconds and he starts cussing his mouth off. Not surprising, with you running the show, Alfor," Krolia said, stepping up next to Kole and smirking.

Keith turned on his heel so quickly that he stumbled, jaw falling a little as he looked between his mother, his castmates, all now grinning, and Alfor, who had the smallest, most smug smile on his face that Keith had ever seen. "You...she...what?"

"We hadn't cast your mother yet when you found her," Alfor explained. "We thought it might be good if we offered the role up to your actual mother. She certainly has the talent for it."

Keith stumbled on the stage step and then looked back at the cast. "You guys knew?"

"I knew," Lance corrected.

"And you kept it a secret? The king of spoilers?" Keith managed, his voice wobbling just a little. "Is that why you wouldn't run lines with me?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Alfor wavered. "This is okay, right? We have an understudy ready if it's not."

Krolia tilted her head. "He's right. I won't take any offense to it, Keith. I know you weren't expecting this, and it has been a while."

"N-No, no, no," Keith stammered, pressing a hand to his mouth and running it down his jaw. His voice softened and his eyes glittered. "No, this is...this is great. Can we take five though?"

Alfor waved his hand and Lance darted onto set, tackling his boyfriend in a hug. "Absolutely."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So you and Lance, mm?" Krolia asked, sinking into Keith's dressing room sofa.

Keith stiffened and rubbed his thumbs together. "Y-Yeah. Is...is that okay?"

Krolia snorted. "Of course, Keith. He seems like a good kid. Very mischievous, but very polite."

Keith eyed her. "Did you meet him already? Off set, I mean?"

"Yes. Briefly, this morning before you and Shiro arrived. He showed me around the set. He didn't mention that you two were dating."

"Probably wasn't sure how you'd take it," Keith said, shrugging and tilting his head. "So you just...said yes? To all this?"

"I was finished in Paris, and you showing up there reminded me that I have a son, and that I need to get to know him. It wasn't fair of me to take off, but I never wanted you to grow up in the spotlight." Krolia smiled and shook her head. "Guess that didn't go so well."

"I did have a normal childhood," Keith assured her. "I didn't get into acting until...until after Dad."

Krolia's smile fell. "Yes. When we met you said Shiro-?"

Keith nodded. "His parents fostered me for a while after Dad died, and Shiro and I got close, so they adopted me. He was in theater in high-school, and I ran lines with him a lot and I really liked it. So I kind of just...followed in his footsteps. And wound up here."

"Here doesn't seem like such a bad place to be."

Keith shook his head and glanced up at her, his cheeks warm and a tiny smile on his lips. "It's not."

* * *

"You want to sync our intelligence to the Galra headquarters?" Coran asked in surprise. "Well, I never thought I'd see the fucking quintant!"

"Coran! It's quiznaking!"

"What? It's just Altean for fuck, isn't it?"

"...that's not the point!"

* * *

"What is fun?"

Lance slid into the robots vision and smirked. "You're about to find out."

"Lance. It's a robot. It can't have fun."

"Says who?" demanded the sentry.

Lance yelped and backpedaled into Pidge.

* * *

"Take us to the sentry repair center!" Hunk cried, flinging his arms up and throwing his helmet into the air. It flew back down, smacking into the head of another sentry.

For a moment, no one moved, and then Hunk put his arms down slowly. "That was...totally my bad."

Alfor shrugged, amusement tugging at his lips. "Keep the shot," he directed the camera crew.

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Reconfigure processor inserted?"

"Check."

"All rewired for optimal fun performance?"

"Checkity check!"

"Now just gotta upload the new program annnnnddddd all right! I'm finished!"

"Yeah! Team Punk does it again!"

"You guys are nerds," Lance declared.

* * *

The robot turned on slowly and sat up abruptly, knocking Pidge off of him and onto the floor. "You dum-dums got any – oh shit, you okay Pidge?"

Pidge blinked up from the floor and then squinted slowly. "...Sam?"

The sentry pulled the helmet off and Sam grinned at her. "What's up, surrogate daughter?"

The group turned to look at Alfor, who shrugged. "He asked to do it. And he wasn't on screen anymore, so I said yes."

Lance grinned. "Oh, fuck yes."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You're giving me a full scene."

"Yes."

"Where I get-"

"Yes, Pidge."

"To use-"

"Oh my god, yes, Pidge."

"EXPLOSIVES?!"

"Please try not to kill anyone."

* * *

"Halt! You are being detained for unsafe sustenance preparation!"

"No, YOU'RE being detained for unsafe sustenance preparation!" Lance whooped, flinging a packet of food goo at the sentries.

"Oh it is ON!" the taller one yelled, swiping up another one and flinging it at the group.

Bradley ducked as a packet went flying over his head. "Sir, why did you fill ALL of them with goo?"

Alfor sighed and held up his clipboard just as a packet came at him, slapping into the back of the board. "You know, Bradley, hindsight is 20/20."

* * *

"Your mother was Honerva? The Honerva who discovered the rift on Daibazol? Then you're...half Altean!"

"No, I'm half dolphin. Yes of course I'm half Altean, who wouldn't see that twist coming?"

"Logan!"

"Half Altean," Logan muttered under his breath, ignoring Allura as she chuckled.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So...montage sequence of us and the robot," Pidge said slowly.

Alfor pursed his lips. "Yes."

"And we can do...whatever we want?" Hunk added, rubbing his chin.

"Within reason, yes."

Lance smiled, crossing his arms. "As long as we just run away from the guards?"

"...yes."

"Can we use explosives?" Sam asked.

"Do not make me regret this, guys."

* * *

"Lotor...have you ever wondered...what if Honerva became corrupted the same way Zarkon did? Perhaps she didn't die. What if she and Haggar..."

"That BITCH is NOT my – holy fuck, shit, sorry, its witch, isn't it? Shit."

"This is what I get," Alfor muttered.

"For what, sir?" Bradley asked.

"Everything."

* * *

"I was drawn to this."

"Wait a tick...I know I've seen something about this before...where is it...here! Yes, it's a rock. Most definitely."

"Logan!"

"I forgot my lines!"

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

"We've been over this already. Let's light this candle. Wooooooooo."

Hunk clapped a hand to his mouth and Pidge hit the floor laughing as Lance bent over the console his shoulders shaking. "Oh my god," he wheezed. "That was...the funniest thing I've heard all day."

"I think we've found the counterpart to Coran's screaming lines," Pidge chuckled.

* * *

"We're far enough away. They stopped firing at us."

Keith pressed a button and the chair slid back across the room, stopping with a jolt halfway and sending Keith toppling to the floor.

Krolia snorted and Alfor lifted his chin a bit. "You good, Keith?"

Keith grumbled and waved a hand in Alfor's direction. "The chair is stuck."

"I can see that."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So...are you coming with us?"

Krolia looked up from the mirror in her temporary dressing room, where she was wiping away the purple makeup on her face. Lance was standing in the doorway, a cheeky smile on his face. She lifted an eyebrow and offered him a smile. "Where?"

"We've set up bi-weekly bowling nights to keep everyone's energy at a reasonable level. Pidge get's pranky if she's too hyper."

"That explains a lot," Krolia noted.

"Between us, I just think she's trying to get back with her old girlfriend. But seriously, you're invited. It's all cast and crew. Including guest stars."

Krolia gave the young man a smile. "I'd love to, Lance. It would be nice to get to know you all better."

She made one last swipe at her face and then tossed the rag in the trash, grabbing her purse and joining Lance at the door. "And between you and me, I'm hoping to be more than a guest star in the end."

Lance grinned. "Can't wait."

* * *

 **Wow I can't wait to write some more GAY shit yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh boi I LOVE ME SOME LGBT REP! Who KNOWS! Maybe the next chapter will have LESBIANS! OR TRANS PEOPLE! WOW HOW ABOUT THEM NON-BINARY PEOPLE AND ASEXUALS?**

 **(also I love Krolia I'm excited to write for her wow maybe I can make her and Aggie have a thing too WHO KNOWS? THE POWER OF BEING AN AUTHOR!)**


	47. White Lion

**Season 5, Episode 6: White Lion.**

 **This one is shorter, but NaNo wore me out and this work week was...very rough, to say the least.**

 **LeNolaNamiko: *blows kisses***

 **FallinForAGuy: *wink wink***

 **OppsieDasi: *bisexual finger guns***

 **rainbowrider1290: I like her as a character a lot, but more of a sibling to Keith than a romantic interest. I actually hc Keith as explicitly gay (though I enjoy the occasional kidge and kallura art/fic) so him and Acxa is eehhhhhhhh for me.**

 **Fir3Storm12: Honestly I've also grown weirdly attached to Bradley lol. Like he started purely as a regular oc character for people to recognize, and now I'm like...yes Bradley I love you. And I'm really glad that this could make your week a bit better! It certainly makes me happy to hear that this fic has been so good for so many people.**

 **Onwards to the much more explicitly gay chapter lol (at least at the end)**

* * *

"So this magic rock is going to guide us to a mysterious planet?" Pidge asked skeptically.

Lotor nodded. "A land known as Oriande."

Coran guffawed. "I'm afraid someone's been...fucking with you."

"Cut! Coran!"

"Rumbling your wimble? What the quiznak does that even mean?"

* * *

"Wait a tick. That's the Petrolean Zone!" Coran realized.

Lance frowned. "The what-now?"

"The Petrolean Zone is a mysterious part of space where ships enter and are never heard from again."

"So the Bermuda Triangle of space," Hunk noted.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Sweet."

* * *

"The perfect place to hide a magical world."

Pidge crossed her arms. "Or to crash and die," she grumbled.

"Geez, someone's pessimistic today."

* * *

"What's that up ahead, an asteroid belt?" Shiro asked.

"No. It's a graveyard."

The group fell silent for a minute, and then Hunk very softly whispered, "Dun dun dunnnnn."

"Hunk!"

"What, you got the take!"

* * *

"Is that like a song you're working on? Because it sucks."

"Doesn't it? Who wrote this rubbish?"

* * *

"We must go into the white hole."

"Are you guys serious, we're navigating by cave poetry now?"

"To be fair," Pidge said, adjusting her glasses, "cave paintings are how we found Voltron in the first place."

"...that's a good point."

* * *

"I'm dead in the water."

"I think we all are."

"Not me, I'm dead in space."

"Hunk!"

"Whaaatttt?"

* * *

"Wait, why aren't Coran's marks glowing?"

"I'm a side character, Shiro, I don't get development."

"Ouch."

"Yikes."

"Damn."

"Oooohhhh."

* * *

"Anything?"

"No."

"What's happening? What do you think they're doing right now?"

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Wait, what?"

"We're not talking to you, Lance."

"No one is ever talking to me."

Pidge threw a wrench at him.

* * *

"It's okay Shiro," Lance grumbled, trudging towards the wall. "You don't have to – ooowwww."

Shiro held back a grin. "You good?" he asked as Lance rubbed his head where he had bonked it.

"Yes."

"Don't have to babysit you, huh?"

"Shut up."

* * *

"I'm glad you're here to help me now. I never would've gotten here without you."

Lotor turned and for a moment, they just gazed at one another. Lance cupped his hands around his mouth. "Nooooowwww KISS!"

They both lifted their eyebrows at him and Shiro shrugged, a smile tugging on his lips. "I'm...not opposed."

Logan threw his hands up. "Why does EVERYONE say that?!"

"You're yummy," Hunk said with a shrug.

Pidge's nose wrinkled. "Please never call Logan yummy again, Hunk."

"Thank you, Pidge!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Dude...you killed the lion."

"Yes I know."

"How rude."

"I am aware."

"I'm calling PETA."

"Yes please do."

* * *

"99 bottles of quintessance on the wall..."

"99 bottles of quintessannnccce..."

"Take one down..."

"Give Lotor the crown..."

"No more oxygen in the castle shiiiippp."

"Guys, we're rolling."

"Fuck."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So you're really all right with the romantic scenes between Logan and I in the show?" Allura asked, undoing the bun from the top of her head and letting her hair fall over her shoulders.

"Allura, it's acting," Shiro said with a chuckle. He came behind her and wrapped his arms around her torso, pressing his nose into her neck. "Besides, Hunk is right...Logan is very yummy. Couldn't blame you if you wanted to kiss him."

Allura scoffed. "Gods, no. We tried that once, a long time ago, and it did NOT work out."

"Oh did you now? Why's that?"

Allura chuckled and leaned back, kissing his cheek. "He's got a boyfriend."

"How am I the last to know EVERYONE'S sexualities? I'm a bi, for Pete's sake, I should pick up on this shit."

"Did you know I'm pansexual and demi?"

"Oh COME ON!"

"Pidge is ace."

"Jesus Christ I thought she was only a lesbian?"

"Hunk is also pansexual."

"Okay well anyone could figure that out, he's the most loving teddy bear in the whole entire universe."

"Good point. Are you ready for our double date now with Lance and Keith, who were dating for almost six months before you noticed?"

"I'm never living that down, am I."

"Nope."

* * *

 **Shiro is a clueless bisexual. Which...same though.**

 **If I don't post again before Sunday, Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish followers! Season 6 up next lets gooooooo**


	48. Omega Shield

**Season 6, Episode 1: Omega Shield.**

 **This was actually a surprisingly fun one to write!**

 **It...is snowing...and I have to walk to work in like a half an hour. Rip me.**

* * *

"Lotor!"

Lotor's face dropped. "Oh no."

Lance slid in front of Lotor, leaning over, and promptly fell onto the floor. "Who the heck is she?" he demanded into the tile.

"Pidge, did you wax the floors?"

"No!"

"Pidge."

"...maybe!"

* * *

"How dare you speak to me without authorization from blood emperor Lotor!"

"OW!" Lance shrieked, cupping both hands to his face. "You actually hit me!"

Diane winced and pressed a hand to her cheek. "Sorry, deary."

"Gonna be one of those days, isn't it?" Lance muttered as an intern ran for an ice pack.

* * *

"Awww is this your nanny?" Lance cooed.

Lotor grimaced. "Governe...oh come on, she's totally a nanny, guys."

"You gotta be all posh and British though," Pidge noted.

"Come onnnnn, guys! It's the first episode of the season!"

* * *

"If you're interested in our society's history, you couldn't find a better teacher than Diak," Lotor said, wrapping an arm around Hunk's shoulders.

"Yo that's gaaayyyyyy!" Lance whooped.

Diane whapped him on the shoulder with her stick.

* * *

"What do you want to know about the Galra for?"

"Isn't your boyfriend half-Galra?"

"Touche."

* * *

"Victory or DEATH."

"Uhhh that's okay."

"Hunk, you're a paladin of Voltron. There is no challenge to great for you."

"Death. Death is a challenge too great for me."

* * *

"Palanvole!"

"What does that mean?"

Diak bent her whip in irritation. "It MEANS Enlightening Pai- OW!" she yelped, as her grip slipped and the whip smacked her in the face.

The intern ran off again for another ice pack and Alfor rubbed his head. "Maybe this wasn't a great side plot idea."

* * *

"So you're gonna hurt me until I'm smart?"

"Yes."

"Wow it's like highschool all over again."

"Hunk!"

* * *

"And to think...I came here to offer you a chance to serve in the Fire of Purification...I'm sorry, I still think that's the dumbest name."

"Then you can write the script next time, Sendak," Alfor muttered.

"Fair enough."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Shiro?"

"Yes, Lance?"

"What...are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're putting on eyeliner."

"I have a close up in the next scene, it's gotta be perfect."

"...teach me later?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

 _Take One_

"Okay, Shiro. Let's j...let's ja...pffttttt I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't, that's the WORST sentence."

 _Take Three_

"Okay, Shiro, let's jack your hand into...Jesus Christ stop LAUGHING, LANCE!"

 _Take Eight_

"Okay, Shiro, let's jack your hand into this terminal and we'll get this thing cum-RUNNING! WE'LL GET IT RUNNING IN NO TIME! ALFOR, THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

Alfor threw his hands up in the air, though his face was bright pink and he was grinning. "Hey, I didn't write that line!"

* * *

"Make sure the connection is STRAIGHT!"

"Nothing we do is straight, Hunk."

"Lance, now is not the time for gay jokes."

"There's always time for gay jokes, Allura."

* * *

"Thanks, Princess. I couldn't have thought of it without you though, I mean really I think we make a great team, I – isn't that like exactly what I said to Keith in season one?"

Alfor looked sideways. "...maybe."

* * *

"No," Allura gasped. She bolted for Lance's chair, pressing her hands to his chest. "No, no!"

She leaned him back, gentle, and settled his head on her shoulder, hovering a hand on his forehead. Her eyes shut, and she sat still for a long moment. Lance's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at Allura, a small smile slipping over his face.

"Come here often, hot stuff?"

"Oh my god, Lance, it was almost perfect," Alfor groaned.

"Come on, I had to!"

Allura just grinned. "Oh he's totally fine."

* * *

"Nice work out there Hunk. That Galra training really toughened you up!" Pidge said.

Everyone waited for a minute, and then turned to look at Hunk's lion cockpit, where he was sound asleep. "He's actually asleep again, isn't he?" Shiro said with a chuckle.

Lance nodded. "Absolutely."

Alfor smiled. "Keep it."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Keith enjoying his day out with his mom?" Allura asked, leaning on the doorframe to Lance's dressing room.

Lance spun in his chair, looking up from his text messages with a smile on his face. "Yeah, he is. Excited for them both to be back on set. What's up?"

Allura nodded her chin at the door. "Shiro and I are going out to dinner. Would you like to join?"

Lance's smile grew softer. "Thanks, but I'm all right. Pidge and Hunk actually invited me to go to the arcade down the road, where one of Hunk's friend's works, and I haven't hung out with the two of them in too long. I appreciate it, though."

"Any time."

"The on-screen romancey stuff isn't gonna be weird, is it?"

Allura lifted an eyebrow. "Never done on-screen romance, mm?"

Lance shook his head, cheeks a bit flush, and Allura chuckled. "Lance, do you like me?"

Lance's nose wrinkled. "I mean...you're attractive and stuff, I'm not blind, but no. Not like that."

"And you love Keith."

The blush grew darker and Lance ducked his head, mumbling into his collar. Allura laughed and stepped over to him, squeezing his shoulder. "I'll take that as a yes. You'll be fine. Open communication is the only thing that has ever mattered. I promise. Plus, I think Shiro might kick your ass if you went after me OR hurt his brother."

"Oh my god I have to deal with him on both fronts."

Allura patted his arm. "Good luck. Have fun at the arcade."

She left and Hunk and Pidge poked their heads in the room, jackets on. Hunk lifted a set of car keys. "We're stealing Logan's car, come on."

Lance shouted in laughter, grabbed his coat and phone, and the three of them booked it out the door before Logan could finish changing.

* * *

 **God I can't believe there's only 8 days until the end of Voltron...prepare for pretty much a chapter every day (except Sunday cause I work literally all day), maybe even two. I want to at least finish Season 6 for this fic before Season 8 airs.**

 **Btw my final count for NaNo was 21,690 words. Not as much as I wanted, but it did surpass what I thought I could do.**

 **Vrepit Sa!**


	49. Razor's Edge

**Season 6, Episode 2: Razor's Edge**

 **Ft. more Krolia and Keith's on-screen father who I have named Trevor after his VA.**

 **Storygirl000: Oh my god**

 **Shiranai Atsune: No?**

 **Onwards I GO! I did adult things today before writing this, weeeee. Holy SHIT ONLY A WEEK I'M GONNA IMPLODE.**

* * *

"You're my...mom? HOW?"

"Do I really have to have that talk with you?"

"Krolia!"

"What! He's like 23 in real life!"

* * *

"It's a part of the galaxy where dense neutron stars orbit even larger dark stars. In the quantum abyss...I'm sorry, who named this?"

"Krolia, please."

Keith grinned. "She's just as bad as Pidge."

"I resent that!" Pidge shouted from off-screen.

"You know it's true," Lance laughed, squawking to avoid being smacked in the face from one of the girl's bouncy balls.

Alfor pressed the bridge of his nose. "Bradley-"

"Your coffee, sir."

Alfor looked over wearily. "With-?"

"Two extra shots of espresso, yes sir."

He took the cup. "Thank you, Bradley."

Bradley winked. "Might have spiked it a little, too."

"Oh, thank god."

* * *

"Like the days of long ago, our royal alliance will inspire others."

They leaned in, slowly, only to wrench apart at Pidge's sing-song voice chanting, "Allura and Lotor sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S MY EYES NEED BLEACH!"

* * *

"Yeah, you didn't think to maybe call the engineers before you began building your inter-reality quintessence field magical Altean alchemy super shit?"

Lance clapped a hand over his mouth, snorting, and Pidge snickered behind him. Hunk scowled. "Ship. Ship, you KNOW I meant ship! Come on, that line is a mouthful!"

"And somehow that was the only word you messed up," Logan teased.

* * *

"Right. You didn't think to call the engineers...and me?" Lance asked, leaning on the tools next to him. The tray collapsed under his weight and he yelped, fumbling for a moment with one of the tools before letting it hit the floor with a resounding clatter and prolonged vibration. He slid his gaze over to Allura and Lotor, who were watching him with barely contained amusement. "What?"

Another beat, and then Hunk and Pidge started cracking up, Allura and Logan not far behind them. Alfor grinned. "That was perfect. Keep that shot, roll from there guys. Nice improv, Lance."

Lance clicked his tongue and shot Alfor a set of finger guns. "Yup. Improv. Totally meant to do that."

* * *

"Infusing the comet ore with Altean alchemy is quite different than simply building a ship."

Hunk and Pidge rolled their eyes and looked at each other in disgust. "Magic," they chorused. Their eyes widened and they spun around. "Jinx! DOUBLE JINX! TRIPLE JINX!"

"You GUYS!" Alfor shouted. "You had it perfectly, come on!"

* * *

"You sure you don't need a third...wheel for help? Yeesh, that sounds pathetic."

"It's meant to, Lance."

"Well yeah but-"

Keith stepped on stage and leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. "Say the line, babe."

"Copy that."

* * *

"We'll name him...Yorak."

"You sure as hell WON'T!" Lance shouted.

"Lance! We only have the baby for a few hours, don't mess with this!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"How do you manage to get a hold of every single baby we film with?" Keith asked, finding Lance in the lobby with baby Keith in his arms and his mother watching from close by.

Lance turned towards him with a laugh. "Oh come on, you know I love kids. Look at his widdle nose!"

Keith leaned over Lance's shoulder, turning and pressing a soft kiss under his ear. "He is very cute," he admitted.

He reached out, nudging gently at the baby's cheek with a finger knuckle, and the baby promptly latched onto his finger and started gnawing on it. Keith squawked and started to pull back, but the baby furiously clomped onto his hand with an iron grip. "Jesus this kid is strong," he whispered.

Lance grinned. "I mean, he is playing you."

"Fuck."

"Don't swear in front of the baby, Keith."

"Fudge."

"Much better."

* * *

"Okay Lance, let's test this puppy!"

Lance didn't respond, merely stared off into the distance, and Hunk smirked. "Ope, looks like Loverboy Lance is a little distracted NOT thinking about the princess."

Pidge flicked a marble at him just as Lance turned around, accidentally smacking him in the eye. He hissed and clapped a hand over it and Pidge yelped, scrambling from her chair and over to him with a look of panic on her face. "Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry oh my god are you okay?"

"Can I please just stop being injured during shoots this week?" Lance whined, his eye watering.

* * *

"And I'm not daydreaming about you...not that I didn't used to," Lance teased with a wink.

Hunk set a hand on his chest, gasping. "Lance! You bad boy!"

"You two are gross," Pidge decided.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Pidge, are you sure you can-"

"Yes, Hunk."

"It's just that I'm a lot bigger than you and I don't want to-"

"I said yes, Hunk. I can hold you."

"But-"

Pidge rolled her eyes, turned around, grabbed Hunk's wrist and arm, and dropped her full weight to the ground, rolling him over her shoulder and slamming him onto the safety mat next to them. Hunk blinked up at her, wide eyed, and Pidge stood up and dusted her hands. "Any more concerns?"

"No, I think I'm good."

* * *

Lance leaned back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, and rolled his eyes as the mice came squeaking over to him. "Oh, great. You guys here to make fun of me too?" he groaned.

Chuchule promptly fell into his mouth and Lance gagged in surprise, flinging himself upwards and catching the tiny rodents as they were zoomed forwards. "What the HECK!" he coughed. "That better have not been scripted!"

"It wasn't!" Alfor promised.

"Good."

"But-"

"I will quit on the spot, Alfor."

* * *

Trevor sprinted away from the Galra ship, hand clenched tight around the detonator. The Galra above him took aim, lining him up in his sights, and fired. Nerf darts exploded from the barrel, smacking into Trevor's chest, and he gasped, hitting the ground and clawing at the air.

"I have been! Shot!" he wheezed pathetically.

Krolia walked up to him and nudged him in the side with her toe, a grin on her face. "Sure have."

Keith gasped off screen, running in and sliding on his knees. "Father! No!"

"Who gave Pidge her Nerf darts back?" Alfor grumbled.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"This is Kosmo," the animal director, Phoebe, said, holding the leash out to Keith. "I figured you two should get to know each other a bit before you film together."

Keith raised an eyebrow as he took the leash. "He's a little big for a puppy, isn't he?"

"That's the magic of television," Phoebe said with a smile. "They'll make him look smaller on screen than he really is. Or something. I just train animals to act."

"Could you train a horse?" Pidge asked.

"Have."

"A chicken?" Lance wondered.

"Done."

Hunk frowned. "Rats?"

"Hunk, I literally train the mice you work with."

"Oh yeah."

Keith chuckled and looked down at Kosmo, who stared up at him with wide, bright eyes and a lolled tongue. "Well, I'm more of a cat person, but he seems like a good boy."

"By the end of this week you'll want to keep him," Lance declared.

"Wanna bet?"

"Please don't say bet in front of Pidge," Hunk pleaded.

* * *

"Keith...I think we finally made it."

Keith stood and turned, hair dusting his face. "It's been two ye- bleh, sorry, extensions in my mouth."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"This is Romelle," Alfor introduced, gesturing to the young woman alongside him. "She'll be one of your new full-time castmates.

Shiro smiled warmly and took the offered hand. "Shiro. And this is Keith, Hunk, Allura, Lance, and Pidge," he said.

Romelle lifted an eyebrow. "Isn't there another one? Orange mustache? Great biceps?"

Shiro's mouth quivered. "Yeah, he has the day off since he isn't in this shoot. He's with his husband and kids. I'm sure he'd love to hear all about his nice biceps, though."

"Oh I would love to," Romelle said, eyes glittering with mischief.

Lance grinned. "She's gonna fit right in, isn't she?"

* * *

 **There are so many characters to write for now Jesus CHRIST**

 **Today I am dressed as a lesbian lumberjack but minus the pigtails and tbh I'm here for it.**


	50. Monsters and Mana

**Season 6, Episode 3: Monsters and Mana**

 **I have had a long but good day. I work for p much the whole day tomorrow, so no update on Sunday! Have a good day, and happy end of Hanukkah to all my Jewish followers!**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"How come I don't get to play the game?" Keith pouted.

"Keith you're literally not back with the team yet," Alfor said for the fourth time, tilting his head back to stare up at the ceiling. "You cannot play the game."

"Well can't they put me in as like...an honorary character?"

"We could make you the princess," Coran suggested. "I'm sure Lance would enjoy that."

Lance stuck his tongue out and Coran chuckled, eyes twinkling. "What? I've got to have some fun, seeing how I wasn't even on SCREEN for the last episode."

He side-eyed Alfor and the director threw his hands up in the air. "Where's Bradley?" he demanded.

"You gave him the day off, sir," Donna said, biting back a smile.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

* * *

Hunk threw his arm out in front of Pidge, flinging his staff up in front of both of them. "Seal of Protection!" he shouted defiantly, his brows furrowed.

They held positions for a beat, two, and then a stuffed seal thunked into Hunk's forehead, Lance, Keith, and Shiro divulging into giggles off set. Hunk picked up the seal, containing his smile. "Oh hardee har har, a seal. Where's the protection?"

Allura held up a full-sized shield, her lips twitching. "I convinced them not to throw it."

"And I thank you for that."

* * *

"If you're the remaining hope for your village, their doomed!"

"Well that's fucking rude!"

"Hunk! PG!"

* * *

"Soaring staff!"

Hunk jumped on top of the staff, promptly wobbled, and fell off, the staff dangling by it's rope from the ceiling. He sighed into the mat as Pidge laughed and stepped over to help him up. "Can we go home yet?"

Alfor had his hand over his eyes. "Only if I can go home, too."

* * *

"Come on you big baby. Your village got turned into stone, do you want to help them or not?"

"I mean they're not like, going anywhere."

Pidge froze in spot, clapping a hand to her mouth and snorting. Hunk grinned, and looked at Alfor, who was clearly trying not to laugh. "Oh come on. You know that was good."

"That was...yup, okay from "Come on, you big baby."

* * *

"One health plate, coming up."

The waitress rose in front of them, massive muscles bulging at her dress, lifting herself one, two heads over Hunk and Pidge. They both gulped, leaning back in their seats, and the waitress turned, revealing Coran in lipstick and a wig.

The set was dead silent for a single second before Pidge shrieked in laughter and promptly fell off her stool. Lance whooped off set, and Shiro was bent at the waist and clinging to Allura's shoulder.

"Heels are awful," Coran declared, a twinkle in his eyes. "And this muscle suit isn't much better."

"You were right, Coran, it was way better not to tell them," Alfor laughed.

* * *

"Uhh maybe those villagers like being turned to stone," Hunk suggested.

Pidge punched him and Hunk fell from his stool, his stick of meat flying from his hand and hitting an extra in the head. Pidge smiled sheepishly. "Whoops. Sorry."

"Not you. That stool is too tiny for my butt," Hunk said to the ceiling.

"He THICC!" Lance shouted.

"Hell yeah I am!"

* * *

"You two think you have what it takes to smite evil?"

"Who are you?"

"Me?" Shiro said softly, lifting his head. "I am – unable to see around this hood, holy shit this thing is long."

"Wardrobe!"

* * *

"What's your story?"

Shiro pulled the hood from over his head, snagging it on the crown resting on his forehead and sending it crashing to the floor. He sighed. "Do I HAVE to look as emo as Keith in the seventh grade?"

"Hey!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Shiro frowned as he opened his dressing room door to find all of the cast members waiting for him. The talking halted the second he stepped out. "It looks stupid, right?" he whined, tugging at the hem of the sleeveless vest.

"No," Hunk managed.

Lance shook his head quickly. "No it looks GREAT, dude."

Allura swallowed. "It is...absolutely perfect."

Pidge and Keith just grinned. Shiro smiled brightly and stepped past everyone. "Thanks, guys!"

"Holy shit his biceps," Lance hissed.

"I know, right?" Allura whispered back.

Hunk shook his head. "Girl, you are lucky."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

"Man, that guy was so boring," Hunk groaned.

"Wait!" Shiro shouted after them.

"Oh great, here he comes again."

"Should we run?"

"He looks like he has the physical prowess of a two-legged lizard."

"A brisk walk, then."

"Fuck you guys."

* * *

"Don't know what's more fulfilling than a paladin," Shiro said with a shrug.

Coran threw his arms out. "YOU'RE ALREADY A PALADIN IN REAL LIFE!"

Shiro bit his lower lip. "Fuck," he wheezed, before bursting into laughter, Pidge and Hunk close behind him.

* * *

"A twenty-sided dice?" Lance gasped. "How big IS that thing?"

"It's normal sized, it just has twenty sides," Pidge assured him.

"Yeah, but I got you a giant one," Coran said, leaning behind the couch and pulling out a twenty-sided die the size of a pillow. "For funsies."

"Coran!" Alfor shouted in exasperation.

"What? I thought it would be cool!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So how does the tail work, exactly?" Lance asked as the costume designer, Miranda, strapped the battery pack under his shirt.

"It just moves with your body. If you lean left, it'll go right, as if it's balancing you out. It's not long enough to trip on, so you should be fine. Turn it off between takes so you don't run the battery out, okay?"

Lance grinned and shrugged into the rest of his costume, stepping from his dressing room and spinning once for Keith, who was hanging out on set for the day while his mother ran errands. He spun in a circle, the tail curling easily with his body. "What do you think?" he asked in delight.

Keith pursed his lips and pressed a hand to his jaw, eyes roving Lance's form. "I think...I might be a furry."

Lance's grin grew wider. "Perfect."

* * *

"I'll summon a mount!" Allura declared.

She shot an arrow into the sky, and the crew watched as it rose into the air and then fell back to the floor, clattering on the tile.

"So where's the mount?" Hunk asked.

"Special effects!" Allura whined.

* * *

"Maybe there's a secret here," Pidge mused, dragging her hands across the wall in search of a hidden switch.

Lance stepped up to the wall. "Maybe you just have to kn- really? We're doing a throwback to the first episode?"

Alfor grinned. "I thought it could be fun."

"As long as we don't have to fall again, I'm good."

The grin grew.

"Seriously, I quit."

* * *

"I'm Shiro's twin brother, Gyro! Here to – could you all stop laughing, I need to finish my quest to avenge my sibling!"

* * *

"Oh yeah? We don't care! We're here to turn my village back from stone, man!" Hunk shouted. He paused as his beard fell off and hit the floor. "Whoops, hold that thought. My facial hair is on the fritz."

* * *

"Healing arrow!" Allura yelled, aiming an arrow at Pidge's back.

It clattered off her armor and onto the floor, and Pidge lifted a thumb into the air. "Good job!"

* * *

"Sure, count me in."

"I wanna be a paladin again."

"Of fucking course you do," Lance groaned, thunking his head into his arms.

"Lance! PG!"

"No!"

* * *

 **This is such a fun episode to rewatch. Also the amount of foreshadowing to the castle blowing up is astounding.**

 **See you on Monday for episode 4!**


	51. The Colony

**Season 6, Episode 4: The Colony**

 **Whoomp, sorry it's a day late, I passed out early yesterday night. I was clearly exhausted. I think I'll combine episode's 5 and 6 into one chapter, since most of the episodes are fighting, and so they'd be shorter anyway. That or there'll just be two short chapters in a row. I'll figure it out.**

 **FallinForAGuy: Yeah, when they found that crystal, mostly. It's almost the same shape the castle turns into.**

* * *

"Infracells."

"Infracells up."

"Dynotherms."

"Dynotherms connected."

"Switching on mega-thrusters."

"Mega-thrusters are go."

"Kinky."

"Aw, come on Lance!"

* * *

"But even if they do reach the quintessance field, then what? The last time anyone got in there it turned Zarkon evil."

"Lance makes a fine point! Take THAT, MATH!"

"What did math ever do to anyone?" Pidge protested.

"Existed, that's what."

* * *

"Allura."

"Yes, Lance?"

"Get back safe."

"Noooo promises."

* * *

"Attention Altean pod! Identify yourself!"

Keith's face popped up on the video feed. He was wearing sunglasses and a stick of jerky was clenched between his teeth. "What UP it's ya boi KEITH!"

"Keith!"

"Let me live, Alfor!"

* * *

"Keith! It's so good to see you!"

"Hold on. How do we know you're the real Keith and not his bigger, cooler, grizzled – are you wearing heels?"

"They're platforms!"

"So heels."

"Did you just call me grizzled?"

* * *

"It's an honor to meet you," Shiro said, a small smile on his face.

Lance jutted his head in front of Shiro, eyes wide, screeching, "WHAT?!" as he promptly tripped and fell onto the floor. "This is NUTS!" he gesticulated from the ground.

Shiro grinned and helped him up. "Pidge wax the floors again?" he asked, side-eyeing the girl.

Pidge threw her hands up. "His shoes are untied!"

"Pidge, these costumes don't HAVE shoelaces."

"...fuck."

* * *

"This is Romelle. And I think she should tell her own story."

Romelle frowned and looked up, eyes glittering. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away-"

"Wrong franchise!" Pidge, Lance, and Hunk chorused, grins on their faces.

* * *

"What? That's impossible. Altea was destroyed. Allura and I were the only survivors!"

"Looks like your whole tragic backstory was for nothing," Hunk said with a shrug.

Coran shot a scowl at Alfor. "Boy I'll say."

Alfor threw his hands up in the air.

* * *

"Generations ago, in an effort to increase our odds of survival, Lotor announced that he was creating another colony, far from our own – I'm sorry, why is everyone staring at me like that?" Romelle asked, lowering her headphones and peering out the window of the sound booth.

"Man, do you do ASMR?" Lance asked.

Hunk nodded. "Cause you should do ASMR."

Pidge was slumped face first into the sound board. "Is it possible to be in love with a voice?" she grumbled.

Romelle lifted an eyebrow and glanced at Alfor, who shrugged. "I can't disagree with them."

* * *

"I'll never see you again!" Romelle cried. "Don't let him tear our family apart!"

She dropped to her knees and clung to Bandor's waist, wobbling at her descent and crashing to the ground, pulling her brother after her. "Ha! Now you can't leave!"

* * *

"Just remember, we suffer this isolation so the next generation may not have to – wow, this is actually SUPER fucked up when you think about it."

"Bandor!"

"I'm just SAYING!"

* * *

Romelle rushed down the crater, grabbing at her brother's shoulders and gently easing him back into his seat. He groaned, and she bit her lip, eyes twinkling. "I...I'm sorry, I can't, you look RIDICULOUS."

"I'm DYING, Romelle."

* * *

Romelle, Keith, and Krolia ventured into the room full of pods, breaths held and steps light. Romelle stepped up to a pod and brushed the dust off the outside, backpedaling at the sight of the man inside the tank. "No! Petrulius!"

Petrulius smacked his hands against the glass and stuck his tongue out, making Romelle shriek.

"Petrulius!" Alfor whined. "Come on!"

* * *

"Once Lotor is secure, we take the Princess down. Wait. No."

"Babe, I'm wounded," Allura teased from off screen.

* * *

 _Take One_

Allura stepped off the ship, falling into Lotor's chest and sending both of them toppling to the ground.

"My bad!"

 _Take Two_

"We accomplished something amazing today, and it would've never happened had it not been for you."

"It is a moment that I will truly never forget."

Lotor leaned in slowly, eyes lowering, and Allura did the same, nose wrinkling at the last second. She shoved Lotor away. "I'm sorry, did you eat GARLIC?"

Logan grinned. "Maybe."

"Someone get Logan a breath mint, please!"

 _Take Five_

Lotor leaned in, lips brushing against Allura's before fully pressing in. They held it for a beat, two, and then Allura burst into laughter. "I'm sorry," she wheezed. "Sorry, I'm just...this is hilarious."

Alfor threw his hands up in exasperation. "Honey, please!"

"Sorry, Dad."

* * *

"Allura, step away from Lotor."

Allura side eyed Keith's sword and Lance's gun, and sidestepped. "Yup, all yours."

"Allura!"

* * *

"Now that we have unlocked the quintessence field, all of your people, who would have been hunted down long ago had it not been for my intervention, can live in peace. Were some lives lost in the process? Yes. But they were martyrs to a noble cause. I sacrificed a few to preserve the future for millions. Wow, I'm an asshole."

"Tell me about it."

"Yup."

"Your generals betrayed you for a reason."

"Biiiigggggg douchebag."

"You all suck."

* * *

"Allura and I will secure Lotor. Hunk, help Shiro. Everyone else, get down to the hangers and stop those guys!" Lance ordered.

Pidge saluted. "Yes sir!"

Keith winked. "Oh, I like this side."

"Oh my god, Keith, keep it in your pants," Allura said with a roll of her eyes.

* * *

Pidge moved to Keith, bending and helping him stand, her hands pressed firmly to his chest and back. She lifted an eyebrow, a smirk starting on her lips. "Oh, Lance WAS right. You have nice pecs."

"You're GAY."

"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate aesthetic."

Lance nodded sagely off screen. "She has good taste."

* * *

"Shiro's gone. Who's going to pilot the black lion?"

"Me, bitch."

"P. G. GUYS."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"I have to wear the hair extensions in the helmet."

"Yes."

"Will I be able to see?"

"Maybe."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Goddammit."


	52. Black Paladins and All Good Things

**Season 6, Episode 5: Black Paladins**

 **LESS THAN 16 HOURS!**

* * *

"You all know he would never give up on us."

"Yes I would!"

"You're not helping, Shiro!"

* * *

"You'll be the only one on the other side!" Allura protested.

"JUST. DO IT!"

"Geez, okay, Shia."

* * *

"Zethrid. Ezor."

"Awwkkkwwarrddd," Lance whined off stage.

"Lance! The mics can still pick you up!"

"I'm aware!"

* * *

"Ummmm...is it broken?" Ezor asked.

She lifted her hand up, poking Shiro in the jaw, and he promptly turned and snapped at her finger. She squealed and backpedaled and Shiro grinned. "What? Weren't expecting that, were you?"

"You're an asshole," Ellie declared, though she was also smiling.

* * *

"Now I just have to lock it down with a multi-layered, tritrogonal quarantin...fuck."

* * *

"Prince Lotor. My son."

Honerva turned and lowered her hood, looking over him. "The anger you feel toward me is to be expected."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."

"How dare you speak to your mother that way!"

"Could you two PLEASE focus? We have to get through two episodes today!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Keith looked around at the caverns they were using to shoot, lifting an eyebrow. "So...you really want us to have a fight scene."

Donna nodded.

"Out in the open."

"Yes, Keith."

Shiro also looked incredulous. "In a rock quarry?"

"Well..."

"Donna, you know both of us are landing like, actual punches and hits and stuff, right?"

The woman threw her hands up. "It was Alfor's idea, not mine! Just don't kill yourselves, okay?"

Shiro and Keith glanced at one another, eyebrows raised, and then off to the medics on the side of the set they were using. The medics waved.

"No promises," the siblings chorused.

* * *

The light flickered on in the pod, revealing Shiro. Another one turned on, and another, and another, until Keith was surrounded by Shiro's. "Okay, cut!" he squawked. "This is too freaky, how did you even do that?"

"Video setting on the screens," Donna assured him, grinning at the real Shiro, who was trying to hide his laughter.

"Fucking weird, I hate it."

* * *

"You made a promise once. You told me you'd never give up on me."

"And I should have abandoned you, just like your parents did! They saw that you were broken. Worthless! I should have seen it too."

Keith's voice cracked. "I'm not leaving here without you."

"Actually...neither of us are leaving."

"Cut! Good one, guys, take five while we set up the next part of the set," Donna ordered. She mopped at her forehead and turned to one of the set advisors.

Shiro stepped around the props and settled a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder. "Hey."

"I know. You don't have to say it."

"I'm going to anyway. I love you."

He crushed Keith in a tight hug and Keith shivered, shutting his eyes and pressing his nose into Shiro's armored shoulder. "Sorry," he croaked.

"Don't."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So this is your younger self," Alfor introduced when Shiro and Keith walked back into the main recording set. He held out a hand and a 12 year old kid who was the creepy, spitting image of Keith stood there, waving sheepishly. "His name is Jay."

Shiro grinned. "Nice to meet you, Jay. You look a lot like Keith, here, doesn't he, Keith?"

Keith blinked. "Dude, like a weird amount."

Jay smiled. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Very much so," Alfor said with a nod.

* * *

 **Season 6, Episode 6: All Good Things**

* * *

"I'm not here to harm you. Everyone is fine. Just let me explain. The thing that attacked you wasn't me. Since my fight with Zarkon, I've been here."

"When you disappeared?"

"Yeah, and y'all didn't fucking notice! Rude!"

"Shiro!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"I'm sorry, I have to what?"

"Hold Coran by a rope and swing him around for a bit. He'll be attached to a pully system, so you won't actually be holding most of his weight."

"We couldn't think of a SAFER way to do this scene?"

"Believe me, I wish we could."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Right, you lot ready to film?" Coran asked, stepping into the main room and tugging on his shirt hem.

Pidge squawked and everyone else just stared. Coran lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'm sorry, I just always forget how RIPPED you are," Lance managed.

* * *

"We need you. The universe needs you."

"Thank you, Lance."

The alarms started sounding and Lance broke away from the hug, throwing his arms up. "Aw, come on, I was gonna get smooched!"

"Not without me there, you weren't," Keith teased as his screen popped up on the monitor.

* * *

"We're on the same side."

"You fucking BASTARD!"

"Sweetie! PG please!"

* * *

"Krolia, get ready! The combination of the fermented Nunville with the energy core should essentially jump-start the main turbine without using the castle's power!"

"I'm ready. But are you sure setting off a bomb in the main turbine is a good idea?"

"No, I'm not sure it's a good idea," Coran admitted, flinging his arms out. "But it's our ONLY ide- whoops, dropped the Nunville. Sorry, Alfor."

"No, actually...I like it. Do that again."

* * *

"I'm ready to wipe the universe clean of all my enemies! Voltron, Haggar, and the rest of the Galra!"

"Bitch excuse me?" Zethrid demanded.

* * *

"What is that thing?"

"He's created his own Voltron."

"Oh, how originial."

"Hunk!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Keith watched as the props crew carted away Black's pilot chair. "I'm sorry, I have to pilot while squatting in mid-air?"

"Just for this one scene," Alfor promised.

"Why?"

"Fanservice."

* * *

 **So unless I write it in between getting home from closing at work tonight and the new season airing, I probably won't have episode seven up in time. But the day is still young, so who knows!**


	53. Defender of All Universes

**Season 6, Episode 7: Defender of All Universes**

 **Welp, I didn't finish before Season 8, but that's okay. I needed the sleep lol.**

 **I'm gonna put my thoughts on Season 8 in the end notes, but I will say that I'm writing small fixers (missing scenes, not changing canon) on my AO3 account story "Fixer Upper" if you wanted to take a look.**

 **Shorter chapter, just because of the amount of fighting in this episode.**

* * *

"Hunk! Form cannon!"

"You got it!"

Hunk slammed his Bayard down into the slot, accidentally cracking the whole set and making the lion's dashboard collapse under him. He blinked several times and then looked up sheepishly at his castmates. "My bad."

"Jesus CHRIST, Hunk!" Lance managed.

* * *

"Shield up! Attack!"

Pidge grunted and thrust her controls forward, and a barrage of Nerf darts flew from her lion set and into the others. Everyone squawked and threw their hands up, and Alfor sighed, reaching out and silently taking the aspirin bottle from Bradley.

"Which props person left the door to the lion room unlocked?" he groaned.

* * *

"Wait for him...let him build up speed," Keith whispered, squinting at the green screen.

"This is thrilling," Lance said after a beat, kicking back in his chair. "Like, really, the most intense fight scene we've ever done."

"Lance!"

"Oh come on, this episode is like 90 percent animated!"

* * *

"How can he just disappear like that?" Hunk demanded.

Allura frowned. "He's entering the quintessence field at will!"

"Didn't we blow up the gate?"

"How is he entering without it?" Pidge asked.

Allura's brows furrowed and she looked down. "Because I gave his ships the ability."

"Way to go, Allura."

"Hunk, I will snap your wrist in two."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So you just want us to like...scream a bunch?" Pidge asked.

Alfor shrugged. "Yeah pretty much."

Lance shook his head. "You know that won't end well."

Alfor took a swig of what may or may not have been Coke. "I'm aware."

* * *

"Let's END THIS!"

"FINISH HIM!"

"LET'S DESTORY THAT GUY!"

Logan held up his hands. "Y'all gotta take a chill pill."

* * *

"Oh you're back!"

"Lotor is no longer a threat."

"Right. I'm afraid we face a bigger threat now," Coran admitted.

"When the fuck don't we?"

"Keith!"

* * *

"I hate to say goodbye to my grandfather's creation...the last piece of the real Altea...seriously, how old AM I?"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

The group watched in silence as the castle blew up on screen, each individual room focused on before being enveloped in a white flash. Pidge turned to Alfor slowly and pointed an accusing finger. "You just HAD to make it emotional, didn't you?"

"What? The fans had a home there too – Lance, are you crying?"

Lance wiped valiantly at his eyes and ignored Keith chuckling and wrapping his arms around him from behind. "No, it's just very dusty in here."

Keith snorted and kissed him on the cheek. "Sure it is."

"No, seriously it's really filthy, when was the last time someone cleaned the screening room?"

* * *

"You found me."

"We're glad you're back, Shiro."

"Rest."

"Does this mean like...my spirit was INSIDE Allura?"

"Shiro, please! You literally had one line this episode!"

"Exactly!"

* * *

"There's only one place that has the plans necessary to build a replacement for the Castle of Lions. Coran gave them to my dad."

Keith stood up, a smile on his face. "We're going home."

They held the pose for two beats, and then Romelle shook her head. "What are they even LOOKING at, this is a MAJOR breaking of the fourth wall!"

"Romeeellllllleeee it was the last scene!" Alfor whined.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Shiro knocked on Allura's doorway, a smile on his face. "What's up, Princess, ready for weekly bowling night? I think Pidge might actually ask Taylor out this time."

Allura snorted. "Yeah right. She's chickened out the last four times. And yes, just a tick."

Shiro grinned wider. "Tick, huh?"

"It rubs off," she protested with a laugh. "Besides, don't pretend like you haven't said it before."

"Fair enough. So...the white hair. Is it...bad?"

Allura lifted an eyebrow and picked at her own white locks. "What do you think I think?"

Shiro rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Yeah, but like...yours is actually white, mine is closer to 'Dad grey' than that."

Allura swiped off the last of her Altean mark makeup and then stood and crossed the room, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "I think it makes you look rugged. Besides, it's just dye. It'll wash out eventually if you don't like it."

"Rugged, mm?"

She smirked and kissed him lightly. "Absolutely."

* * *

 **Please note: I enjoyed Season 8 a lot. It has it's flaws, as everything does, but I think that overall it was good. You would do well to leave any hate out of the comments section. Find somewhere else to complain.**

 **On the major plus side, if you're having a hard time liking Season 8...think of how many bloopers I'm going to get from "Clear Day" alone. Holy SHIT the YELMORE SCREAMING CONTEST. THE KIDDIE RIDE. THE FAMILY PHOTO. I'm going to have a ball with that one. And, to a lesser extent, "Day 47." That one is going to be fun.**


	54. Panic! On Date Night

**Between the Seasons: Panic! On Date Night.**

 **Angel-of-Anime Mizumi: My friend. My dude...yes.**

 **rainbowrider1290: Favorite part? Tbh, the open ending. And also the whole episode with Pidge on Olkari. Honerva...I could write paragraphs on what I thought of her this season. So I won't lol.**

 **Have a between the seasons, cause I mentally don't feel like writing an episode.**

* * *

"Dude…dude stop," Lance laughed, shoving Keith off of him and reaching for his phone, which was vibrating wildly all over the table. "Keith, it's Pidge."

Keith grumbled, crossing his arms and sinking back into the couch. "Tell her she interrupted cuddling."

Lance snorted and leaned over the couch arm, grabbing his phone just before it hit the ground and swiping the call on. "Hellooooooo Pidgeon, you made Keith very grumpy. What's up?"

An incomprehensible amount of gibberish came through the line and Lance lifted both eyebrows, turning the phone on speaker for Keith to witness. Keith's lips quirked. "Uh…Pidge, you all right there?"

"THEY ASKED ME OUT WHAT DO I DOOOOOO?"

Both men blinked and looked at one another, then back to the phone. "Uh…clarification on who "they" are?" Lance asked.

"Taylor, you shits! Stop grinning, I can feel it!"

Lance didn't bother to wipe it off his face, though Keith made a valiant attempt. "Isn't that like, what you wanted? For them to ask you out?"

"I thought they used 'she?'" Keith asked.

"Different days are different pronouns, keep up Keith, focus on my SITUATION! I'm not gross and mushy like you guys, what do I DO?"

"Pidge, if they asked you out, it wasn't for the mushy stuff," Lance chuckled.

Keith's lips twitched again, dangerously close to him losing it. "Um, yeah. That's not exactly your strong suit, and everyone knows it."

"I hate both of you."

"Why are you calling us, anyway?" Lance wondered. "Why not Allura and Shiro, or Hunk and Shay?"

"Hunk and Shay are at Disney World for the week before we start filming again and Shiro and Allura wouldn't stop freaking out. You two are the most normal so far, believe it or not. Now HELP ME, I know you're in the state."

The couple snorted and Keith shook his head. "We'll be over in an hour," he promised.

"Thank fucking god."

* * *

Pidge was pacing when she opened the apartment door, dozens of outfits spread out across the room. "Okay," she said as soon as the door shut. "I have my clothes separated into five categories: No Way in Hell, Fancy, Slightly Less Fancy, Paintball Ready, and Casual Outing. Help me."

"Where are they taking you?" Lance asked, staring in overwhelmed awe at all her clothing. "I didn't even know you OWNED this many clothes."

"They said dinner and a movie, but is that fancy dinner? Is that secretly code for paintball? Are we going to end up in a faulty sprinkler system? There's too many possibilities!"

"You're starting to sound like Slav's character," Keith snorted.

Pidge pointed a finger in his face. "Shut it, Mullet Boy."

Lance was struggling to hold back his laughter. "Pidge, I don't think Taylor would try and trick you. I'm assuming you're literally just doing dinner and a movie. Isn't the new Gun Robot out? You've wanted to see that for months. They're probably taking you to that."

Pidge's mouth fell a little and then she shut it. "I uh…I forgot," she admitted.

Lance nodded and proceeded to shove aside everything in the Fancy, Slightly Less Fancy, and Paintball Ready piles. He dragged the No Way in Hell pile over to the Casual Outing Pile and proceeded to rifle through both of them, tossing various articles at Pidge as he did so. "You want it to be just nice enough that if you end up at a somewhat nicer restaurant you're dressed appropriately, but still comfortable for a movie."

Keith ducked as a shoe flew over his head and Lance continued. "But you're also Pidge, and you don't like super girly shit, so I'm losing anything with butterflies and roses and shit. Your favorite colors are green and yellow, ironically, so we focus on those as accents. Flats, because you suck at walking in heels. Annnddd it's gonna be in the low 50's tonight, so practical. Plus movie theaters are always freezing. Here."

He shoved a pile of clothes into her arms and nodded at the bedroom. "Change. Keith can do your hair when you're done."

"What if I don't like it?" Pidge protested.

Lance gave her a soft smile. "You wouldn't have called us over here if you didn't trust our input, Pidge."

She humphed but vanished, leaving Lance and Keith to collapse back onto her couch and wait. When she emerged minutes later, Lance grinned.

Warm brown leggings, a dark forest green, somewhat off-the-shoulder top that fell to mid-thigh, black flats, and a brown leather jacket. Easy. Pidge looked sheepish as she looked up, a half smile on her face. "Okay, so you were right," she whispered.

"Good. You look great. Taylor's gonna pass out," Lance said with a grin.

Keith tilted his head. "Gotta be an up-do," he decided, gesturing Pidge over.

Her hair was up in a messy bun in a couple of minutes, soft strands left to dangle at the edges of her face, and Lance handed her a pair of stud earrings without looking up from his phone. Pidge put them in obediently and then stood, hand cautiously hovering over her hair. "So it…works? I don't need makeup or anything?"

"Do you want makeup?" Lance deadpanned.

"Do you even own makeup?" Keith followed.

Pidge scowled. "No, and yes! I…some! Lip gloss! And…chapstick…"

Lance snorted and sat up, clicking his phone off. "Pidge. You look great. Trust us. When are they coming to get you?"

Pidge glanced at her watch and winced. "Ten minutes."

Keith smiled fondly. "Go downstairs and wait for them. We'll clean up."

Pidge gave both of them a genuine, relieved grin, and grabbed her purse. "Please don't make out on my couch."

"No promises," Lance chuckled. "And we're totally hanging out here tonight so we can tease you when you get back."

Pidge rolled her eyes. "I hate both of you."

"Love you too!" Lance said cheerfully.

* * *

 **Would anyone be interested if I made a account?**


	55. A Little Adventure

**Season 7, Episode 1: A Little Adventure**

 **Pidgeon3114: Yaaayyy for nice teeth!**

 **Hello I am here with sub-par content. Also the first episode of this season is a trip to re-watch after a while.**

* * *

"Well in order to do that, we're going to give you a test."

"Is it a test on how not to have terrible hair?"

"Lance! Stay quiet over there!"

"Make me!"

Shiro snorted and glanced at the kids in front of him, who were trying not to laugh. "Welcome to Voltron, everyone."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"It's okay dude, don't be shy," Keith said with a chuckle, leading Jay into the room. "Guys, this is Jay, he's playing my younger self."

The set was dead silent save for Shiro, who was grinning in the corner, and then Hunk squawked. "Do you have like, a secret younger sibling?" he demanded.

Pidge flung her hands out. "Yeah, I've heard of look-a-likes but this is nuts!"

Lance rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a smile quivering on his face. "I love him."

Allura was the only one to get up and move over to Jay, holding out a hand with a big grin on her face. "Hello, Jay. It's lovely to meet you."

"I'm going to be honest, I thought they just did a really good makeup job on Keith at the end of last season," Coran announced as the two shook hands.

"Same."

"Ditto."

"Is that NOT what they did?"

* * *

"Keith? He's a bit of a discipline case. I don't think he'd fit in with the rigid Garrison culture."

"YOU LEAVE TINY KEITH ALONE, LADY!" Lance whooped off set.

Jay giggled behind his hands and Bradley left the room in a hunt for Alfor's aspirin.

* * *

"Wait…you just fought Lotor, defeated him, stopped an explosion that could have destroyed reality, took your friend's consciousness from the Black Lion of Voltron and put it inside his clone, and now we're simply moving on?"

"Yup, pretty much."

"Fantastic let's go."

"You guyyyssss!"

* * *

"Yup, Yellmore's definitely sprayed here."

Everyone groaned as Coran moved around the group and into a clearing. He cleared his throat and lifted a hand. "AHHHHHH! YAAAAHHHHH! HAAAYAAAAA! Stop laughing! I'm trying to attract a Yellmore!"

* * *

"I think it's cute! You know, in a creepy, hideous sort of way. Like you Lance."

"You called me cute, though."

* * *

"Are all ancient Alteans like this?"

"Well we only know two."

"Yowch."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So…stereotypical shrinking episode?"

"What do you mean stereotypical?"

"Jimmy Neutron."

"Phineas and Ferb."

"Gravity Falls."

"Magic School Bus."

"The Powerpuff Girls."

"Danny Phantom."

"Okay, okay, geez, I get it."

* * *

"Sorry, just testing my controls. Stick's loose."

"How does he just get you so right?" Hunk muttered off screen at Keith.

"I feel like I should be offended by that."

"You're very sarcastic, babe."

"Would you three PLEASE?"

* * *

"Oh yeah, is that what Mommy and Daddy told you before-"

Jay decked James across the mouth, yelping a little as the hit actually landed. "Oh gosh I'm so sorry are you okay?" he whined, holding out a hand as the medic on site grabbed his bag.

James winced, taking the hand. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks."

"Maybe you should have given the literal kids stunt doubles," Bradley offered.

Alfor pressed the bridge of his nose. "You're right, you're right. Call James' mom."

* * *

"So you grew up out here?"

"Yup. Just me and my pop."

"He was a fireman, right?"

"Yeah. He was a real hero. Hmm. Everyone told him not to run into that building but…you couldn't tell him anything."

Shiro huffed, smiling. "Sounds like someone I know."

Off screen, Lance nudged Keith lightly. When he didn't respond, he glanced over to find him trembling a bit, and Lance gently twined his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss into the hollow of his neck. Keith relaxed into his touch, and Shiro glanced off screen and offered a faint smile to the duo.

Alfor watched it unfold and tilted his head at the camera operators. "Cut. Take five, everyone."

Jay ventured off to hang out with the other kids off set, and the rest of the group swarmed Keith.

* * *

"Lure a Yellmore. To us. Like this?"

"I mean, it's like I think it and you say it!" Hunk said with a grin. "We're basically the same person!"

Romelle squinted. "Favorite pizza topping, go."

"Pepperoni, ham, and green peppers!" they both chorused, before whooping and high fiving.

"Oh my god there's two of them," Pidge choked out.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Annnddd this is Adam, he'll be acting as your fiancé. Because of…restrictions from the higher ups, we can't actively say that, but that's who he is."

Shiro clasped Adam's hand, a warm smile on his face. "Oh good, we can just make a bunch of scenes then that they can't use."

Adam grinned and draped an arm around Shiro's shoulders. "You got it babe."

Allura lifted an eyebrow, eyes sparkling. "Should I be worried?"

Shiro held out a hand, took hers, and dragged her against him. "Nah. Besides, he's got a wife, right?"

"Wife and a husband, actually."

"See! He already has TWO, what's he need us for?"

* * *

"You know how important this is to me! It's worth the risk."

"Takashi. How important am I to you?"

"Oooh he used his full name!" Allura teased.

"Allura if I wasn't your father you would be fired."

"No I wouldn't!"

Bradley hid a smile. "She's got you there, sir."

"Bradley you're fired."

"No I'm not, you need me."

"Fuck."

* * *

"I know I can't stop you. But I won't go through this again. So if you decide to go, don't expect me to be here when you get…is this like, foreshadowing? Am I gonna die?"

"Adam, please!"

"What? I just wanna know!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Again?"

"Yes Hunk, again."

"We're doing the rope thing AGAIN?"

"If it helps, you're at the end of the rope this time."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER, ALFOR!"

* * *

"Oh…quiznak," Romelle groaned.

"My back," Lance whimpered.

"God I can't wait to see that scene in post," Pidge grumbled into Lance's side.

"I don't know what you all are complaining about, I'm perfectly fine," Coran announced.

"Is murder legal on set?" Romelle asked.

Hunk snorted. "God I wish."

* * *

"I was dreaming. Keith…you saved me."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Allura demanded.

"Love you sweetie," Shiro said with a teasing grin.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

"Well, we were shrunk by a magic skunk, but we ended up using that sparkly dust that makes electricity bigger or whatever. Used it to unshrink ourselves. So, ready to charge up the lions?"

"What are you ON?"

* * *

 **Wassup I made Adam poly because I can and also tiny James isn't the same as big James, I'm just lazy so they have the same name. Also also all those TV shows actually have shrinking episodes and there's definitely way more that I couldn't think of**

 **Okay byyyyeeee see you some other time!**


	56. The Road Home

**Season 7, Episode 2: The Road Home**

 **Rip, sorry it's been a bit. I've been in more of a consumption mood than production mood lately, if that makes sense. Reading a lot of fic, not writing. I've only been updating Run the Night because I have that written several chapters ahead.**

 **FallinForAGuy: Potentially. That's always an idea.**

 **Pidgeon3114: Ugh I know, but they just weren't prominent enough in the episode for them to really be useable in this fic. Otherwise they definitely would have been in here.**

 **Side note...I forgot how much I loved this episode until I re-watched it. And also how much actual fighting there is, hence the slightly shorter chapter.**

* * *

"This is Katie Holt, paladin of the Green Voltron lion, broadcasting to Earth. Does anyone copy? Over. I repeat, this blabadin…the plabadin…Jesus Christ."

"Pidge, we're in season 7," Alfor groaned. "We're not even a minute into the episode."

"It's a tongue twisty word!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Are you…sure you're okay with doing all these scenes without your prosthetic?" Keith asked, eyeing Shiro as he set down the false appendage in his dressing room.

Shiro rolled his eyes. "Keith, it took me months to get this in the first place. I know how to live without one."

"Well yeah but-"

"As long as no one throws anything at me, it should be fine."

Keith's lips twitched and he tilted his head. "Got it."

Shiro squinted. "Don't you dare."

"Tell Pidge? I would never. See you on set!"

"Fuck."

* * *

"Aren't cows afraid of mice?"

"No, elephants are afraid of mice," Lance protested.

Coran frowned. "Elephants?"

"Yeah! They're giant gray animals with long noses that – I'm sorry, I can't take myself seriously," he wheezed, flipping off the other laughing cast members.

Bradley glanced sideways at Alfor. "Aspirin, sir?"

"If I take it this early, Bradley, I'll overdose by the end of the day."

"Noted, sir."

* * *

"One time, she tried to draw her Nan-Nan, but what she came up with, I've gotta say it looked more like a Flan-Lan-de-po!"

"Who…drew that?" Pidge demanded between laughs as Coran held up the drawing.

Hunk looked offended. "I did!" he whined.

Lance had his hand over his mouth. "Did we NOT learn from the mermaid episode that Hunk can't draw?"

Alfor shrugged, a wry smile on his face. "That was kind of the point."

"You guys are so mean."

* * *

"I'd gladly trade the wolf for-"

"I HAVE A QUESTION! Why did we let LANCE decide all this? Are you okay Keith?"

Keith was slumped in his chair, both hands pressed to his chest. "You scared…the SHIT out of me," he gasped. "Warn a guy before you scream in his ear!"

"But then it doesn't have the same effect!"

* * *

"I spy something that begins with…Plaxum!"

Shiro frowned. "Coran, we…hold on, wasn't that the name of like…one of those mermaids?"

"It's Plaxus, Coran!" Alfor called.

"Well why on EARTH did you make them all sound the same?"

* * *

"But what if something happens to you?" Romelle demanded. "What if you go to the bathroom, then you break your – ack!"

Lance snickered, leaning around the chair to look at Romelle, who was on the floor. "You good there?"

She rolled her eyes, grinning. "A gymnast I am not."

* * *

"I took these pictures myself. They're Mice Selfies."

"Oh my god that's the cutest shit I've ever heard," Allura whispered.

"Honey! The mics!"

"Sorry, Dad!"

* * *

"PIDGE TELL ROMELLE TO GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER, I CALLED IT FIRST!"

"If you don't behave RIGHT NOW we're turning these lions around!" Pidge snapped.

* * *

"Some of these ships look like they belong to Lotor's fleet!" Romelle noted.

Allura whipped her head around. "How did you GET in here?"

"Well, there was a wolf, and then we zappy-zapped, and there was like…space for a second, and then I was in here. Magic wolf powers."

"Romelle!"

"No one EVER explains this scene!"

* * *

"We're getting our quiznaks handed to us!" Lance shouted. "We need to do something!"

"Seven seasons, and somehow you're still not using that word correctly," Keith teased.

* * *

"Hunk, that means you and I are going to have to punch a hole through the cyclone to create a path for the team. Are you ready?"

"Hell no."

"PG, Hunk!"

* * *

"Lance! Bring up the rear. When everyone's through the tunnel, fire above the cave opening. Red should be fast enough to get in before the avalanche completely blocks the way."

"Roger that, babe!"

"Cut! Lance! For real?"

Lance grinned and shot finger guns at Keith, who just rolled his eyes and hid his smile and blush behind a facepalm. "What? Love when he gets all demand-y."

"TMI, dude," Pidge groaned.

* * *

"I'll help too!" Coran shouted, following Krolia out the door.

The cockpit shifted and Coran yelped as the set tilted, sending him flying into a storage room. The doors shut behind him.

"Cut!" Alfor called. "Perfect!"

The doors opened and Coran stood, disheveled. "You did NOT tell me the floor would move!"

Alfor shrugged, eyes twinkling. "Gotta liven it up a little."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You want me to WHAT?"

"Tuck and roll out of the lion mouth, come up standing, turn around, and fire," the stunt coordinator instructed, pointing out the sections of the room as they spoke.

"Nope. No, no, no, no way. I'm going to fall on my ass."

"No way dude, that's a badass scene," Lance said, slapping him on the back. "Come on, you totally got this."

"Flat. On. My. Ass. Dude."

"But-"

"Flat."

* * *

 **Alfor totally had fun this episode.**


	57. The Way Forward

**Season 7, Episode 3: The Way Forward**

 **I'll be answering reviews at the bottom this time, since there were so many and I don't want to take up too much space at the top.**

 **Just so you guys know, if you're able to, this chapter was posted yesterday on my Patre0n (written that way so the word doesn't just get full on erased) which you can find either by searching my name (same as here - capitalization matters!) or going to my tumblr, where it's linked in my bio. All chapters from here on out will be posted 24 hours in advance over there, as well as bonus one shots, deleted scenes from longer fics, and some other goodies.**

 **On to...Coran getting very hurt. A lot.**

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for a secret passage."

"You've watched too many movies, Lance," Keith said with a roll of his eyes. "There's no secret passage."

"Then how do you explain…THIS!"

Lance kicked at the wall and, with a deafening creak, it slammed into the floor. The group stared at the downed wall in silence, and then looked up at Lance, who smiled sheepishly. "Uh…guess I don't know my own strength?"

Alfor rubbed his forehead. "Someone set that wall back up."

* * *

"Are you saying our fate rests in Coran's hands?" Pidge asked.

Everyone fell silent, pondering this, and then Pidge scowled. "I will help you look for that passage," she said to Lance.

"I am INSULTED!" Coran shouted from off screen.

* * *

Coran slammed his fists against the door of the Black Lion's cargo area, grunting angrily as he struggled to get through. He climbed up the side of the panel, digging his fingertips into the gaps and pressing his heels into the wall, and yanked.

The door flung backwards and Coran squawked, flailing out into the main cockpit area and landing hard on the ground. "I am okay!" he shouted, flopping back on the floor.

The door fell on top of him.

"Less okay!"

* * *

"It's up to me to rescue my compatriots and save the day! Luckily I'm up to the task! Some men shrink in the face of danger, while others stand up and say – AHH!"

Coran spun, grabbing the flashlight, and aimed it at the mice as they popped up. "Aw fuck, you lot made me nearly shit myself."

"CORAN. PG."

"Gods, its season SEVEN, give it a REST!"

* * *

"And where were you this whole time?" Coran demanded.

Kosmo whined and Coran crawled forwards. "Oh, you're hurt. KEITH! Take better care of your dog!"

"It's Pidge's fault!"

"HEY!"

* * *

"What if he finds us, what do you think he'll do to us?"

"I will always take care of you Ezor," Zethrid promised, kneeling next to her.

"That's GAAYYYY!" Lance whooped from off set.

Zethrid flipped him off. "YOU WOULD KNOW!"

He looped his arm around Keith's shoulders, grinning. "YEAH I WOULD!"

"You guys are killing me today," Alfor grumbled.

Bradley glanced sideways at him. "Coffee, sir?"

"Shot of Kahlua, please."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Who are you?"

Acxa slammed into the guard from the ceiling, using her as momentum to push her up through the air, where she promptly kneed Coran in the face and sent him to the ground. She shrieked, spinning in her harness and dropping to the floor. "Oh my GOD are you okay?"

Coran, clinging to his gushing nose, waved a free hand at her. "Dandy," he wheezed.

"Medic!" Alfor groaned.

* * *

"Lotor's dead," Keith growled. "We left him in the quintessence field."

Ezor scoffed. "Yeah, that doesn't really add up. Why aren't YOU dead?"

Hunk frowned. "Because of…the power of…yeah, wait, why AREN'T we dead?"

"Hunk!"

* * *

Acxa turned slowly, her eyes tracking the guard's movements, only to find Coran in her face. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

She wheeled back, flinging her hand out, and smacked Coran square in the nose. He hissed, hands coming up to cling to his face again, and Acxa let out a string of curses. "Oh my god oh my god oh my goooodddd, I'm so sorry!"

"I think she's trying to kill me," the man winced.

* * *

"You. I'd be half my fleet that this group of heroes has a soft spot for the small one," Zethrid said with an evil smirk.

"Eh."

"Not really."

"Go for it."

"She's all yours."

"Enjoy the pranks."

"You guys all suck," Pidge said, though her shoulders shook with laughter.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You know I really am sorry about punching you…twice," Acxa said sheepishly as the medic applied a cream to Coran's growing bruises and swollen nose.

Coran sniffled and winced. "Ah…it's really all right. Plus now I truly do…look the part for when I get beat up by that guard. Oh god, please tell him to go easy on me."

"It's gonna be Zethrid in the suit."

"Ah quiznak, I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

* * *

"Coran," Keith asked, lifting Coran gently. "Where's Acxa?"

"I don't knooowww, where am I?"

Shiro blinked. "Are…you okay?"

"Never better! Now let's get our belmards and hayards. Say! Lance! Keithy boy is….mmmright here for you to smooch."

"Coran, you're not actually concussed," Alfor deadpanned. "Stop messing around."

"Tell that to my swollen everything."

* * *

"I should've known she'd show up once we got the paladins," Ezor snorted. "She's always been sweet on the one with the flippity hair."

Acxa smirked. "Oh my god, Ezor, I'm gay."

* * *

"Don't you remember how she never wanted to kill him?"

"Aww, it is true love!"

Acxa and Keith rolled their eyes in unison. "Straight people," they chorused, before looking at each other and cracking up.

* * *

"Guys! Center in on my location and fire on the ship!"

"Are you sure?" Allura asked.

"Just do it!"

"Yeah okay, Shia."

"Pidge!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Okay seriously, Coran, are you feeling okay?" Shiro asked in concern as he helped the older man into his changing room.

Coran was practically wheezing. "Never better, my boy! Just a very…ripe face!"

Shiro winced, looking over the old man's purple, swollen cheeks and nose. "That is…for sure. Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital or something?"

"What, and have that end up in the tabloids? No way in hell."

"Fair point. Walk in clinic?"

"Not a chance. No one can keep their mouths shut."

Pidge popped her head in the room, a wry smile on her face. "My mom? Who is a doctor? And who has two famous children?"

Coran squinted, which made him flinch even harder. "I…will take it."

"I'll have her on the next flight out."

"Bless you."

* * *

 **Rip Coran.**

 **On to reviews:**

 **First of all, thank you to those of you who recognize my struggle and are supportive of me throughout my long update breaks (which I try hard not to do). Also a big thank you to those of you who joined me on Patre0n and started supporting me there as well. I appreciate that more than you could know.**

 **Now, to those that need individual addressing...**

 **Shirani Atsune: No, absolutely not. I will never force anyone to pay me for my content, so long as I am able to pick my own update schedule. My post was directed at people who consistently tell me, day after day, to update. All I was saying was that if people want the content earlier, they need to compensate me for my time, similarly to commissions. But I will continue to post free content for as long as I am mentally and physically able, so long as that respect is given to me. I'm sorry for any confusion I may have caused.**

 **Guest: Update parrots is absolutely their new name, yes. And again, that post was not directed at those who don't review. I understand that sometimes you can't always come up with something, or you don't have the mental energy for it. I myself have definitely exited a number of stories with nothing more than a like or a kudos. Sometimes you just...can't. And that's okay. I'm glad to have helped, if even just a little bit.**

 **Krys:**

 **Your review is, quite frankly, the most emotionally manipulative and rude review I've ever gotten on a fanfiction, and is the singular reason I chose to move this portion of my chapter update to the bottom. I knew this was going to get long.**

 **First of all, stop hiding behind "my friend" and "my brother." Grow up and own up to your own feelings and words. You felt attacked by what I said, so you felt like you had to push the blame on me, when in fact your guilt (or your friend's guilt, whatever) is entirely your own fault. You feel guilty because you do exactly what I called out. Don't think I don't know that the THREE SEPARATE "UPDATE" REVIEWS I GOT in less than TWO DAYS weren't all from you.**

 **Secondly...the worst, WORST, review you can leave is "update." Any author reading this will agree with me. I'd rather get no review than a one word demand any day of the fucking year. Hell, I'd rather get hate mail than a demand.**

 **You already answered your own question on how to leave a better review; just tack on an "I can't wait for the next update!" That way, it's an anticipatory statement instead of a literal demand.**

 **If your so called "friend" (if they even exist) is fucking spending an hour trying to come up with a review, and they can think of nothing? That's pathetic. Pathetic. I can find something to compliment in every fic I've ever read, even the ones I didn't like. If they CRIED because I made them feel bad? Oh my god, turn off the computer and go get a life. You shouldn't be crying because someone you've never met told you to stop leaving demands in their inbox without compensation.**

 **I don't NEED to know anything. The only people who leave "Update" and literally nothing else want nothing more than free content. They don't care about me, they don't care about my mental health, my job, my bills, MY friends. They just want me for my free stuff. If you don't care about my friends, why should I care about yours?**

 **I bet you're waiting for an apology. You're not getting one. Maybe that sounds harsh to anyone else reading this, without context, but your review was downright rude. You don't deserve an apology. I owe you nothing. I don't owe anyone here anything. I could walk out right now, never post again, and then where would you be? You'd be the person who ended a good fic for everyone.**

 **Congrats.**

 **And I'm sure you'll feel super upset by this response too, and get all huffy, and try to type out even more things to try and guilt trip me - because that's what you're doing, is being emotionally manipulative. Save it. Don't bother. Don't ruin it for everyone else without a ffn account. I will not hesitate to turn off anon if you do.**

 **Read the room. Every comment aside from yours on the last update supported me. You are in the wrong here. Not me.**

 **To everyone else: thank you again for supporting me. I appreciate and love you. You make me want to write, even when everything else makes me want to disappear from the world in general.**

 **Til next time.**


	58. The Feud

**Season 7, Episode 4: The Feud**

 **Helllllooooooo and welcome to the next chapter of From the Top! I'm Becca, here with a chapter a WHOLE WEEK EARLY. WOOOO *crowd lightly applauds except for that one guy who just goes absolutely wild, like his shirts off flying in the air like a victory flag or something. I don't know*)((Also I'm like...inebriated right now. But don't worry. I did not write fanfiction while high...yet. That's another day. That'll be interesting. I am gonna...answer reviews now))**

 **rainbowrider1290: I think Alfor's about to start meditating at this point.**

 **God fuck I have to type in CODE on Ao3, I'm gonna die.**

* * *

"Helloooo and welcome to the craziest game in the galaxy, Familyyyyyy Feeeuuuudddddd!"

"Bob! It's Garfle Warfle Snick!"

Bob frowned and looked down at his script, pulling the headphones from his head and squinting at Alfor through the recording booth window. "Are you sure? The premise sounds an awful lot like Family Feud."

"Am I sur – YES I'm sure!"

Bradley pressed his lips together to hide a laugh. "Glass of water, sir?"

Alfor sighed and thunked his head onto Bradley's shoulder. "Please, Bradley."

Bradley patted his back, nodding solemnly. "Right away, sir."

* * *

"Tell em what this is, everybody!"

The audience whooped. "GARFLE WARFLE SNICK!"

Lance blinked twice. "Bless you."

* * *

"Of course if you don't, you'll hear this sound," Bob said, lifting his hand up in the air and pointing to the ceiling.

On cue, the beginning notes of Africa by Toto started playing.

Lance and Hunk whooped, Keith bit down a grin, and Allura covered her mouth with her hand as Alfor turned a deadly stink eye on Pidge, who was failing to hide her smile. "Pidge."

"Yes sir."

"What did I tell you about changing the audio cues?"

"Not to. For Voltron. This is Gargle Warble Sniff."

"Garfle Warfle – never mind, sound, can you please stop this music?"

"But the rains MUST BE BLESSED!"

"Lance, I will physically fight you myself."

* * *

"My feet are stuck," Lance noted, leaning down to tug at the restraints holding his feet down.

Pidge squirmed against the barriers, squawking as she lost her balance and tumbled backwards. Lance and Keith lunged, catching her between them, and eased her back up towards her podium, grinning. "Mine too," she managed.

* * *

 _Take One_

"It's up to you to draw the people and places that you've seen during your adventures as paladins of Voltron!"

A pencil popped into mid air and Keith grabbed for it, only to have it slip through his fingers and hit the floor.

 _Take Four_

Keith lunged for the pencil as soon as it was dropped. It bounced off his knuckles, over his podium, and clattered into Hunk's forehead. He winced. "Sorry, Hunk!"

 _Take Twelve_

His hand closed around the pencil, triumphant, and Keith whooped, flinging his hands in the air. Alfor raised an eyebrow.

"Keith…you're supposed to nonchalantly pick it out of the air. We'll have to do that again."

Keith groaned and thunked his head on his stand. "Are you kidding me?"

Bob patted his back. "There, there."

"Shut up, Bob."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"No."

"It's just for the one-"

"No way, Alfor. What is this, humiliate Keith on television day?"

"Wait'll you see what Lance has to deal with."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? He's my boyfriend."

"Well yes, but-"

"Give me the damn pacifier."

"You'll need to let Brenda put your hair up."

Keith held up a single finger. "No. Allura is doing my hair. She doesn't pull like Brenda does. No offense, Brenda."

Brenda shrugged. "None taken."

* * *

"Uh-oh, don't want to stir up any trouble with the missus!" Bob chuckled.

"Little late for that," Lotor grumbled.

"Logan! You're literally guest starring!"

Logan grinned and winked. "So that means I can't have any fun?"

"You're grounded, young man," Zee scolded, his eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

"This is really bizarre," Hunk noted.

Keith nearly slammed his head into the podium. "Windy. Cave?" he hissed, looking at Lance in exasperation.

"Fuck off, you can't draw."

"Lance! PG!"

"PG MY ASS. PG STANDS FOR PUSS-"

"CUT! CUT! CUT CUT CUT!"

* * *

"Hey Lance, how's it going?"

"Well you know what, I'm not too happy about being referred to as "the dumb one" like 18 times."

"Ohhh, it was only about four time, you big dum-dum."

Lance sighed and pressed his fingers to his nose before turning slowly to Alfor. "Is this really how today is gonna go? Really? Are you serious?"

Alfor winced, looking apologetic. "It's within character, already written, I-"

Lance practically sneered. "Yeah. Within character. Okay, sure. Whatever, just roll."

Off screen, Keith shot Pidge and Hunk a worried look.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"You want us to what?" Hunk demanded.

Alfor shifted, uncomfortable. "Well, you're going to spell out the name Rolo with your bodies. Like…like a cheerleader would."

Keith's face was dark. "And after that-"

"You want us to spell out the word "kill,"" Pidge scoffed, crossing her arms.

Allura shook her head. "I'm on their side this time, Dad. That's cruel."

"It's acting, guys!"

Keith's lips tightened and Hunk put a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him calm. "You know Lance, Alfor," Hunk murmured, his voice disappointed. "It's never just acting with him."

Pidge shook her head and followed the group to Lance's changing room. "Kill? That's too far. Sir."

Bradley clutched his clipboard to his chest. "Sir, we don't have time to rewrite the script."

Alfor sighed and ran a hand over his face. His stomach rolled with guilt. "I know, Bradley. I wish we did."

Bradley set a hesitant hand on Alfor's shoulder. "I know, sir."

* * *

"Give it up for Bii-Bo-Bii everybody!" Bob cheered.

The crowd screamed and Bii-Bo-Bii started off stage, his hand lifting, only to fall off the steps and land limp on the ground. Everyone looked up at Dave, in the rafters, who was facepalming.

"I didn't account for the steps," he groaned. "Can someone hand me the noodle?"

* * *

"Hey, miniature golf! I…have never played mini golf in my life, Alfor."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why are you just telling me this now, you read the script last week!"

"I didn't think it was ACTUALLY mini golf!"

* * *

Pidge slammed the ball straight into the camera, cracking it down the middle and sending it tumbling to the floor. The ball continued flying through the air and smacked Bob in the head, making him lose his balance and teeter over with a yelp.

Pidge yelped. "Oh my GOD, I'm so-"

"Use it!" Bradley shouted.

Everyone turned slowly to look at him, Bob pausing from where he was getting back up off the floor. Alfor lifted an eyebrow at him. "Bradley?"

Bradley flushed, lifting his clipboard up to cover his face. "Use…it? Pidge could…attack Bob? It'd be in character, right? Might as well not let all that footage go…to waste. If you want."

Alfor's lips curved up in a faint smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Bob, stay where you are. Pidge…attack him. Gently. And tell him to let you go."

"Yes sir."

* * *

"He's our leader, plus he's half Galra, so I think he's like…the future."

"Keith, the leader, who did you – are you blushing?"

Keith pressed his lips together in a thin line, his arms tight over his chest. "No," he squeaked. "My lines just feel…very mean now."

"You ARE blushing," Pidge teased, her face lit up in delight.

"Can we just continue please?" Keith asked.

Alfor rolled his eyes. "Now you know how I feel."

* * *

"The legends say that if you meet Bob and live to tell the tale, you're destined for great things indeed."

"The guy was kind of a jerk though, right?"

"Man, FUCK that guy!"

Alfor spluttered. "HUNK!"

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

Lance looked up at the tapping on his door to find Alfor standing there, leaning on the doorjamb. "Mind if I come in?" the man asked.

Lance pursed his lips and looked to Keith, who had been sitting on his couch. He nodded, and Keith stood, pressing a quick kiss to his head before leaving the room. The look he shot Alfor was absolutely lethal, and the director winced as he shut the door.

"About today, Lance-"

"It's not about me, Alfor," Lance murmured, looking at his hands. He flexed his fingers, pulled his laptop towards him and booted up the machine. "It hasn't been for a bit. Sure, it stings a little sometimes. But I…I know my friends care about me. I know you'd never do anything to intentionally make any of us feel bad, as much as you joke about it."

He turned the laptop towards Alfor, open in two windows on Twitter and Tumblr. "It's about these kids, the ones who watch the show. The ones who identify with my character, whether it's…I don't know, because I'm Cuban? I give some representation? My humor? My backstory, the want my character has to go home? A lot of people relate to that, and it's really easy to see…how it can negatively effect someone growing up."

Lance shrugged, sinking back in his chair. "So…I don't know, when I constantly get called stupid or dumb and it get's backed up by all the other characters? What does that say to kids who also think they're dumb? Or kids who see themselves in my character?"

He stood and took the laptop back gingerly, shutting it and putting it back on his desk. Alfor looked at a loss, his hands flexing at his sides. Lance gave him a small smile. "I'm not…mad, I guess. Just…asking you to think about it. Is all."

"Lance, I'm-"

"It's okay." Lance grabbed his jacket and keys, twirling them around his fingers as he headed for the door. "Keith and I are going out with the others on like…a quadruple date. So I don't want to be late."

Alfor blinked. "Quadruple?"

"Me and Keith, Hunk and Shay, Shiro and Allura, Pidge and Taylor." Lance shrugged into his jacket and gave the bewildered looking man a small smile. "See you tomorrow. Sir."

He left the door open behind him, a clear invitation to leave, and Alfor hesitated in the framework.

He couldn't remember the last time all of them had called him 'Sir.'

* * *

 **If something in my author's notes is wildly uncomprehensible please tell me so that normal me can fix it tomorrow i am sorry lol**


	59. The Ruins

**Season 7, Episode 5: The Ruins**

 **This one was actually kinda difficult to write in the beginning, just cause it's like...mostly talking.**

 **Liz: Practice practice practice. I know it's an annoying thing to hear, but oh my god it helps. Just write, and read. Reading actually helps a lot with developing your writing, even if you're just reading more fanfiction. And if you can, have someone proofread for grammar and spelling that you might miss.**

 **Percy-Jackson2004: omg you found the ffn equivalent of "You have already left kudos here :)))))))" god bless**

 **GracefulRavenFeathers: yes but I like to see myself suffer (thank you though, lol, I'll keep that in mind)**

 **Hey guys, just for a note?**

 **I genuinely liked Season 8. I don't have the same problems with it that a lot of the fandom had, especially regarding Allura and Lance. I thought that what we got was really nicely done, and please remember that this ISN'T a fixer story. This is a behind the scenes story. That being said, if I don't address something in future chapters that bothered you in the show, PLEASE don't complain about it in the comments. That's disrespectful to me and to the other people reading. The comments are not a place for episode critiques, they are a place for you to comment on what you thought of the chapter and scream at me about how much you love the characters.**

 **Brief rant over, sorry. But that needed to be said. On to the fic. Ft. lowkey Bradfor bc I'm determined to have that as endgame by the end of this series**

* * *

"Only a 99 on the test?" Pidge groaned. "Bitch, I did all the extra credit!"

"Cut! Pidge! Language?"

"Come ooonnnnn, Alfor, it's early," Pidge whined, rolling over into her pillow.

Alfor rolled his eyes and accepted his coffee from Bradley. "You're so dramatic. There's coffee on the snack bar."

The group bolted and Alfor sighed, taking a long drag of the drink. "Take five, I guess."

* * *

"I must agree with Lance," Allura mumbled. "We should sleep for fifteen more dobashes."

Coran sat up slowly, licking his fingers and twirling his mustache into shape. Behind him, Romelle shifted, and promptly tumbled backwards off her bed and onto the ground with a yelp. "I'm okay!" she squeaked, even as Coran got up, laughing, to help her.

* * *

"I think it's going to be especially challenging," Krolia said, a small smirk on her face.

Hunk squinted. "Why do you sound happy about that?"

"Like mother like son."

"Got that right, bitch."

"Keith! Focus!"

* * *

"Oh come on. I vote Kosmo."

"I like Kosmo!"

"Kosmo's cool!"

"Yeah, it's nice!"

"We're not calling him Kosmo."

Kosmo woofed and licked Lance's cheek, looking at Keith with an almost "Excuse me?" expression. The rest of the group began cracking up, and Keith rolled his eyes and threw his hands up with a playful smile.

"You've been outvoted, Keith," Hunk chuckled.

"Seems like it."

* * *

"I'm detecting remnants of a civilization, but I don't see any signs of life," Pidge noted.

"Is that a good or a bad sign?" Romelle asked.

"Who fucking knows."

"Hunnnnkkkkk," Alfor whined, throwing his head back on his chair.

Hunk pointed at him accusingly. "This is what you GET for waking me up before 6 am today."

* * *

Kosmo dove off the mountain of rubble and tackled the figure into the ground, growling, and then promptly licking his face and woofing happily. The man spluttered out a laugh, holding his hands up to shield his head. "I don't think that's what was supposed to happen," he chuckled.

"Phoebe!" Alfor called, looking around for the animal trainer. "Can you make Kosmo more aggressive please?"

Phoebe snorted, stepping onto set and holding up a bag of treats. "I can certainly try, but he is very cuddly."

"Same," Bradley deadpanned, not looking up from his clipboard until the resounding silence forced him to glance away, only to find everyone staring at him. He shrugged. "What? I'm a people person."

Lance leaned over slowly to Pidge, quiet. "You've convinced me. Put me down for ten on…what are we calling it?"

Pidge grinned, side eyeing Lance. "Bradfor."

"Ten on it."

"Copy that."

* * *

The druid dragged his blade along the rock wall with a horrid screeching sound, walking slowly, methodically. One of the sparks flew up and landed on his robe, setting it on fire in a matter of seconds. He stopped and stared down at it, tilting his head. "Um…water?"

"Jesus fucking Christ," Alfor managed, even as Shiro ran for the fire extinguisher on the wall.

* * *

Keith held his breath as the druid walked away, watching him go through the floorboards, and breathed a soft sigh of relief. He turned, only to have a blade shoved through the floor and into his face.

"HOLY FUCK!" Keith shrieked, leaping back a good foot. "ALFOR! YOU DID NOT WARN ME!"

"I wanted a genuine reaction!"

"That was fucking amazing," Lance wheezed off set, leaning on Shiro for support, who was also cracking up.

"I hate all of you."

* * *

Keith's sword slid through the druid's mask and it fell away, revealing his face. Keith paused, lowering his blade, and lifted a brow. "Are you meant to look like a knock off of Voldemort?"

Alfor slowly took Bradley's clipboard from his hands, much to the assistant's confusion, and slammed it into his face.

* * *

"Pidge, lock onto Keith's location!"

"He's directly below us."

Allura grunted, lifting her fist above her. "Stand back!"

The paladins backed up and Allura flung her fist down into the floor, holding the position for approximately five seconds before muttering out an, "Ow," and lifting her hand to her chest. "I punch too hard," she groaned.

* * *

"Keith, I…I'm sorry I have to say goodbye to you for a second time."

Keith let the curtain fall and looked up. "It's not goodbye," he said, soft. He held up his blade. "Take this. You can return it when we see each other again."

Krolia stepped in cautiously and drew him in for a tight hug, her fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck. When she drew back, she squeezed his shoulders and faltered a little at the sight of actual tears in his eyes. "Thanks for everything you've taught me, Mom."

"Keith," Shiro said, gentle. "It's time to get going."

Keith turned back to Krolia, eyes glimmering. She smiled. "I love you Keith."

"I love you too, Mom."

"Okay, I'm crying, is anyone else crying?" Hunk demanded.

Keith let out a watery laugh and walked over to Hunk, nudging him in the shoulder. "Stop that," he ordered.

"Sir yes sir."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"I know you have to go back to Paris, but…you're coming back here, right?" Keith asked, voice low and eyes searching.

Krolia nodded instantly. "Of course. I'm not…I regret not staying with you. Watching you grow. Being there for you when your father…" She trailed off, looking away and clenching her jaw. "I'm glad you have found people you love, who can help you here. Just know that I do love you. And I will come back. Besides, my time on this show isn't over."

She pressed into Keith for a hug, settling a kiss on the top of his head before she had to duck out to catch her car to the airport. Keith watched her go through the window of the lobby, arms wrapping tight around his body as she drove away with one last wave.

Slender arms slid around his waist, and Lance's chin settled on his shoulder. "You okay?" he asked, gentle. He pressed his lips against Keith's temple while he waited for an answer.

Keith sank back into his touch, feeling the weight of his body start to tremble. "I will be," he said after a moment. "I just…I just got her back. So soon. And so…I just…this is harder than I thought it would be."

His voice cracked at the end and Lance backed away, turning Keith around and pulling him into his grip. Keith buried his head in his shoulder and clutched at his shirt.

For just a moment, the two of them stood alone. And then a heavy weight fell on Keith's back and Hunk was fully encompassing both of them, Pidge worming her way to grip at his waist, Allura's hand on his cheek, Shiro's on his shoulder, Coran's squeezing his wrist.

"You wanna go bowling?" Pidge asked into his chest.

Keith spluttered a laugh, drawing back from the group tangle and swiping his eyes. "You just wanna see your partner," he teased.

Pidge stuck her tongue out, though her cheeks flushed. "Seeing Taylor is just a bonus," she argued, though there was no malice in it.

Keith laughed again, this one a little more sincere, and twined his fingers with Lance's. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to go bowling. I'm gonna kick all of your collective asses."

Coran's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, it is ON!"

* * *

Romelle won.

* * *

 **Wassssupppp thanks for being patient with me! I would have updated this last week, but I got into a djnoir mood and so I did that instead. That'll be posted here tomorrow at some point, though it's currently already available to read on my P atre0n...which I'm just gonna call...my Kitchen from now on...yes...so I can stop doing all the fucking...word play.**

 **Speaking of my Kitchen, I always post this there 24 hours early. I'm also looking to start a podcast for my Kitchen (yup, I like this), so i'll let you know how that goes. If you want my Kitchen, PM me, or go to my tumblr account; it's linked in my blog description.**

 **Anyways, reviews are lovely.**


	60. The Journey Within

**Season 7, Episode 6: _The Journey Within._**

 **All right, take a shot if you're playing that game lol. Sorry for such a long wait time, I got caught up binging like five other shows and work has been draining my motivation to write, sadly. And when I do have motivation I don't have the time. The next two though...I'm going to enjoy the next two, so hopefully I'll have those up much faster.**

 **geekyglamour413: Thank you! I try really hard to just keep it goofy most of the time, though of course you have to have tiny angst and real life thrown in from time to time. It's nice to know that people come to this story to unwind.**

 **Voltron-Pidge: I also ship bradfor, which is stupid, bc I made them. I have no idea how I'm going to transition away from Bradley calling Alfor "Sir," I'm not gonna lie to you lol**

 **As usual, this was posted a day early on My Kitchen, so if you want the info for that, PM me on here or on my tumblr account of the same name! I'm hoping to maybe start a podcast soon? I've never done that before, so there would definitely be a learning curve, but if anyone would be interested let me know!**

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"We get to work in the anti-gravity chamber all DAY?" Lance managed, staring between Donna and Alfor with his jaw practically on the floor.

Alfor pursed his lips. "Don't make me regret this, you guys."

Donna nodded. "Allura and Keith, you remember how difficult it was to work without gravity."

Keith nodded, very solemn, looking at Allura. "Oh yes. Very difficult."

She tilted her head at him. "I concur. The hardest acting job I've ever done."

A beat went by, two, and then the two of them took off sprinting for the anti-gravity chamber, the rest of the cast not far behind. Alfor pinched his nose and looked at Donna. "Why did we write this episode, again?"

Donna snorted, turning for the drink table. "I wrote nothing, this is on you."

* * *

"Don't worry guys. We'll run into something eventually that'll turn this trip around," Lance promised.

Hunk frowned. "What makes you so sure?"

"If my experience in space has taught me anything, it's that something ALWAYS comes along and tries to fucking kill us."

"PG," Alfor whined, drawing out the 'G.'

* * *

"Guys? I think I might have an idea on how to get the lions back to full power," Shiro said.

"And you're just NOW telling us this?"

"Well, I'm sorry Lance, but I guess having my consciousness transplanted from the infinity of Voltron's inner quintessence into the dead body of an evil clone of myself has left me a little out of sorts for the past few weeks."

The cast went dead silent, Lance's mouth falling open, and everyone twisted to look at Shiro in the green lion set. "What the fuck was that?"

Shiro's lips twitched. "My original lines didn't feel sarcastic enough."

Alfor nodded. "Keep it."

* * *

"So many lions…all spinning….hullmmpp."

"Come on Hunk," Lance protested, climbing over Red's leg. "You've been through worse than this!"

"Yup, yup, okay, let me – huullppp, nope!"

"Hunk I swear to god if you actually vomit in the vacuum of space I WILL kick you," Pidge deadpanned.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Okay so we're going to let in a giant wind pulse that's gonna knock you guys around a bit," Alfor said, looking over the tech's script. "Grab each other naturally, ad lib your way through this scene, NO CURSING."

"You're going to be knocking us into walls, Dad," Allura muttered, crossing her arms and glaring at the chamber. "It's not like we have a lot of places to go. Or a lot of words to say."

"Work with me here, guys."

* * *

"Our suits will recycle enough moisture to keep us hydrated for a little while. We just need to hang tight. We have each other."

"Awww babe, getting sappy on us!" Lance said with a grin.

"If I wasn't upside down I'd smack you."

"Hunk, don't let him go."

* * *

"Everyone sound off."

"Lance here."

"Pidge here."

"Allura here."

"Bonjour, I am Hunk."

Alfor reached his hand out wearily for his coffee. Bradley set it in his hand and then went to hide the alcohol in his office.

* * *

"Am I quite wrong, or is Hunk still very young by Earth standards?"

"Bitch my bones are 80."

"Hunk! What is WITH the cussing this week?"

"Let me LIVE."

* * *

The mechanism on Keith's helmet beeped, four times. Silence. Lance glanced over his shoulder. "Babe, shouldn't we sound off?"

"Heh. What's the…fuck, you just called me babe."

"Goddammit, not again you guys," Pidge groaned.

* * *

"We have to stay together!"

Keith scowled down at Hunk. "Why, Hunk? Are we really even friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some messed up series of coincidences? I mean what are we? Some…chosen saviors? Do you really believe that? What are we even DOING out here?"

"We're doing what we have to."

Lance whistled. "Damn, y'all. Heavy shit here."

"Can you guys PLEASE?" Alfor groaned. Bradley patted him on the shoulder.

* * *

"They brought us together as paladins. But more importantly, they brought us together as friends," Keith said, looking up with a smile.

"Seriously, who are you and where has my broody boyfriend gone?"

Alfor slid out of his chair. "I am quitting."

"Nope, no you're not," Bradley said, rolling his eyes. He pushed Alfor back in the chair, giving him a small smile. "Come on, sir. We're almost there."

"I'm gonna lose my mind Bradley."

"Noted, sir."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So what are you doing for your week off?" Lance asked Pidge as they walked towards Hunk's changing room together.

Pidge shrugged her bag onto her shoulder. "Taylor and I are going to the mountains for a few days, I think. She likes hiking, and wanted to show me this cabin her parents own."

Lance grinned. "You hate hiking."

Pidge ducked her head and her grip tightened on her bag. "Yeah well…she likes it…so…"

"Awww, you little romantic, you."

She ducked out of the way of his hand and nearly ran into Hunk as he came out of his dressing room, his own bag in his hands. "I'm going to visit my grandparents," he said before they could ask. "Live about an hour away but I never see them. You and Keith?"

Lance tilted his head towards the lobby, where Keith and Shiro were talking with Allura. "He and Shiro are actually going to visit Shiro's uncle. They invited me, but I think Allura and I are just chilling here for the week, so we might show up on set and harass your fake parents."

Pidge grinned. "Oh, please do. I left Colleen and Sam some parting gifts. Have you met Veronica yet?"

Lance shook his head. "Nope. Alfor gave me her number so we could run lines, though, and she seems really chill. Don't die in a lake while you're gone, k?"

Pidge snorted. "As if I'd get close enough to fall in."

* * *

 **Klance using pet names for each other honestly gives me life. Also, yes, I'm totally going to make Allura and Lance pop in whenever I want for the next two chapters, since the cast is going to change COMPLETELY. Jesus Christ these are going to get long. Too many people, too many lines.**

 **Anywho, reviews are wonderful!**


	61. The Last Stand Part One

**Season 7, Episode 7: The Last Stand, Part One**

 **Whoop, not a thousand years late with this one!**

 **Awkwardfandomlover: I mean, Taylor and Pidge are more of a side thing that just kind of...happened? As a plot device? So there wasn't really a whole lot of backstory or development to them as a couple. But I'm glad you enjoy them now! And thank you for reading!**

 **Iiiiiiiiiiiii don't want to go to work tomorrow. Wee. Enjoy this. Ft Alfor secretly missing the shenanigans of the crew and Bradley being a little shit.**

 _ **Italics only**_ **are signing, " _Italics in quotes"_ indicate signing and speaking at the same time. Assume at the moment that Pidge is fluent in ASL, so is Alfor, and the rest of the main cast are at least able to fingerspell. Lance is a bit further advanced bc he's been taking lessons from Pidge.**

* * *

Sam walked into the room slowly, smiling at his wife as Admiral Sanda moved aside. Colleen gasped out his name and pushed off the couch, flinging herself at him. Sam grunted as her elbow smacked him in the chest and doubled over, wheezing. "Jesus Christ Colleen, even the aliens didn't hit that hard."

Colleen struggled to keep her face neutral. "So sorry, Sam."

* * *

"I'm afraid we can't allow you to broadcast yet. We need more information before we allow you to start sending messages into deep space. Any contact with lalien species….alien…alien…species. Sorry, can we go again?"

* * *

"Here's what we know," Iverson said, pointing the controller at the screen. "Two years ago during your Kerberos mission, our scans picked up an anomaly at your location. Minutes later, we lost contact with you and the rest of the crew. In the immediate aftermath, we intercepted a transmission."

The group paused, looking towards the screen. The lines on screen started moving, as if imitating speech patterns, but no sound came out.

One of the tech crew members leaned out from behind the screen. "Sorry, technical difficulties! We'll get right on it!"

"Take five!" Alfor called, before immediately turning to Bradley. "This is weird."

Bradley raised an eyebrow. "What is, sir?"

"The only times I've had to cut are for line errors and technical problems. No one is screwing up on purpose."

Bradley's lips twitched. "Is that so, sir?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing, nothing," Bradley assured him, twisting and looking at his clipboard to hind the fond smile on his face. "I just think you miss the others and their shenanigans."

"Nonsense."

"Mm-hmm. If you say so."

* * *

"Do you have the device I asked for?" Sam asked. "The one from my pod?"

Admiral Sanda scowled. "Bring it to him."

One of the generals set the device down in front of Sam and he leaned over, pressing a button. Before he could lean back, confetti and glitter blew out of a small hole in the device, coating the table and everyone in the nearby seats.

Sam blinked twice and then snorted, showering glitter over the floor. "And that would be my on-screen daughter Pidge, wouldn't it?"

Alfor pinched the bridge of his nose. "Most likely. So much for a reprieve."

Bradley decided not to comment on the tiny smile.

* * *

"Following Garrison protocol, we placed Lieutenant Takashi Shirogane under mandatory quarantine. But he managed to escape with the aid of several Garrison cadets."

"YEAH HE DID!"

Alfor put his head in his hands. "Who let Lance inside?" he grumbled.

"We WORK HERE!"

"Allura! Both of you go home! Or something!"

Allura grinned at her father from where she leaned against the wall, sitting on the floor with her phone in her hands while Lance stood next to her, grinning cheekily. "Nah. I think we'll stay awhile. Someone told me it was getting a bit…boring in here. We decided to come watch."

Alfor glared at the cast and crew. "All right, who's responsible for this?"

Bradley slowly slid his phone into his back pocket.

* * *

"If we told the world there was an imminent attack, we'd set off a global panic," Sanda snapped.

"But there WILL be an attack!" Sam protested.

"When?" she demanded. "How will the attack happen? Is there a plan to stop it? None of these things have been discussed, none of these things have been thought through, and until they are, we're NOT going to be responsible for sending the world into disarray!"

"If you would allow me to contact the pala – shit, Katie and the paladins…shit, sorry for cursing."

"A for effort," Alfor muttered.

* * *

"This is just an Altean shuttle pod," Sam explained. "The mechanics and functions are extremely basic. If we're going to defend the planet against the Galra, we're going to need better ships."

"Rude," Allura called out from off set, not even looking up from her phone.

"You are SO lucky that was the end of the scene," Alfor said.

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"Lance," Lance offered, holding his hand out to James.

James grinned and took it, shaking. "Nice to meet you guys. I'm James."

"Nadia."

"Ryan."

Ina tilted her head and signed out her name. _Ina._

Allura smiled. "I'm Allura. It's lovely to meet all of you. I'm sorry the others aren't here, but they're taking a bit of time off this week."

"Totally get it," Nadia chuckled. "It's honestly really cool to be working with you guys. I've been a fan of Voltron since the original show."

"Alfor seems a little…high strung," James noted, glancing over at the director.

Ina nodded. _Is he usually like that?_

Lance and Allura both let out long whines. "He's my father, so the appropriate answer should be no," Allura said.

"But yes."

"To be fair, we do fool around…a lot," Allura admitted.

"But where's the fun in following the script?" Lance asked, leaning on Allura's shoulder and grinning.

James glanced between them. "You guys dating?"

Allura and Lance side eyed one another, eyebrows lifting, and they both let out a very slow, very drawn out, "No."

"Not my type," Allura said.

"Bull and you know it, girl."

"No no, I'm not YOUR type."

"Also bull."

The other four were looking back and forth between the banter, eyebrows lifted. "Uh…okay then," Ryan managed. "So…anywhere good around here to get food?"

Allura grinned. "Oh yes. Do you like pancakes?"

Nadia shrugged. "I'm more of a waffle person."

Lance lifted his hand for a high five and Allura rolled her eyes. "Oh not this again."

"Waffles are superior."

"Superior garbage."

"Take that BACK!" Lance gasped.

Sam leaned over from where he'd been listening in. "Welcome to Voltron."

* * *

"Lock them up."

"For what?" Iverson demanded.

"For divulging top secret information."

"Fuck your top secret information."

The whole cast turned slowly to Iverson, who stood stoic as ever. "What?" Admiral Sanda choked out, looking very hard like she was trying not to laugh.

"Fuck it."

"Heeeelllll YEAH Iverson!" Lance whooped.

"Oh my god they're going to kill me," Alfor groaned.

Bradley bit back a smirk. "You know you missed it, sir."

"I deny everything."

* * *

"Calls are coming in from all over the world. Citizens want to know how they can help. It's incredible!"

"Oh so nooowww they wanna help, fucking world can't even help their own poor people but they wanna help battle aliens they've never met. Typical."

"Allura Jesus Christ."

"I'm just SAYING."

* * *

 _Behind the Scenes_

"So can I ask?" Lance asked, showing Ina the way to the bathrooms.

She lifted an eyebrow at him and gave a half smile. Lance shrugged. "I mean…I know you have lines scripted, so you can speak. Is it a personal choice? Physical? If I'm being like, super assholey, just tell me and I'll shut up."

Ina shook her head and lifted her hands. Lance watched, careful. He'd gotten better at sign language since Narti had left, but Ina took it slow for him, which he appreciated. _Its both. It hurts sometimes, to speak too much. But I also have autism. So sometimes talking…_

She hesitated, her hands faltering, and Lance nudged her lightly, smiling. _"It's fine,"_ he promised, dragging his spread hand up past his chest. _"You don't have to. I appreciate it._ Is there anything I can do to make it…easier? Make you more comfortable?"

Ina snorted and shook her head. _Don't talk to me like I can be broken so easily, Sanchez,_ she chuckled, fingerspelling his name. _I can kick your ass._

"To be fair, most people can. My boyfriend is at the top of the list," Lance laughed.

Ina's eyes glittered. _Keith?_

"That obvious? You haven't even met him."

 _The on screen chemistry is wild._ She paused. They had long since reached the bathrooms and were now standing outside of them. _Does Bradley have a thing for Alfor?_

Lance burst into laughter, shaking his head. "Oh probably. We have a pool going. Allura says her dad swings, so…who knows. Hey by the way, pancakes or waffles? For later?"

Ina's lips twitched. _French toast._

"Goddammit."

* * *

 **I headcanon Ina as autistic and selectively mute. Also she's demi and pan. I'm very excited to write for this group, man, Sam by himself is a delight, but DAMN I forgot how much I loved Colleen until I rewatched this episode.**

 **Reviews are my fave!**


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